All who were there spoke well of him and were amazed by the beautiful words that fell from his lips. “How can this be?” they asked. “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?”

 Then he said, “Probably you will quote me that proverb, ‘Physician, heal yourself’—meaning, ‘Why don’t you do miracles here in your hometown like those you did in Capernaum?’  But I solemnly declare to you that no prophet is accepted in his own hometown!                                                                               Luke 4:22-24

I had a very small cut on my finger last week. Nothing big- in fact it was really tiny- but it was in a place where it kept getting bumped, and I was annoyed by it. Of course, it healed in a few days, and I can’t even see it now.

It was the healing that reminded me how amazingly our bodies are made. We typically heal from cuts, bumps, sprains, broken bones, surgeries, etc. Thank God for that. Literally!

When I read Jesus’ response to people from his hometown, I saw the parallel to that way that we take amazing things for granted. Jesus was discounted in his own hometown because he was familiar. The local boy that they knew years ago. “Nothing special in him”, they must have thought.

We take the healing ability of our own bodies for granted, and we often lose the sense of awe in that incredible ability our body has to heal itself. No, that ability does not last forever. At some point, (too soon for many) our body can no longer overcome some devastating disease or injury. Yet, so often, our bodies do these incredible things, and we just expect it.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for all the gifts of healing, and the various ways that we experience that, Amen

Please enjoy this reprint of a reflection from July, 2020, with apologies to Alfred E. Neuman, renowned author of the above quote…

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.                                                                                                                                    Matthew 6:34

We all tend to speculate on the future. It is natural to do that. We plan, we dream, we hope that tomorrow is a better day.  In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said that we need not worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself. It will unfold no matter what we do. He basically said, stay in the present and don’t borrow against tomorrow’s possible problems.

When we have high anxiety, we want certainty and control. Anxiety does not like surprises, so we try to predict how tomorrow will be. The problem is that people who have high anxiety almost always predict that tomorrow will bring a terrible thing somehow. They brace themselves, I think with the concept, “expect the worst, hope for the best”. At least that way, they have some preparation for that future problem- they are prepared for it.

It is understandable to try to control everything we can. We even try to predict the future to prepare ourselves for possible pain. Of course, one of the problems with this thinking is that we rob ourselves of present joy- of living in the moment.

So, I think that we should control what we can control, recognize what we cannot control, and pray about the rest. In that same sermon, Jesus said this:  

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

I think these words, if we can really follow them, can help with anxious thinking. If we believe that God takes care of his lower forms of creation, surely he will care for us.

Prayer: Father, we trust your provision for us. The future is yours, our future is in your hands, Amen

For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
 As a father pities his children,
So the Lord pities those who fear Him.                                                                                                Psalm 103: 11-13

Stop me if you’ve heard this one… on second thought, don’t. I have shared this story in various places and in various ways, but I think it bears repeating. If you haven’t heard it before, so much the better.

Many years ago, my son and I built a pond in our back yard. It was a good one. In fact, it was so good that it was two ponds, with a bog area in between the ponds. As winter approached, we decided that the fish in the smaller, shallower pond would need the depth of the larger pond to survive the winter freeze.

Sometime in November, I took a small net and tried to remove the small fish to transfer them into the larger pond for their own protection. Of course, the little fish did not see the value in that, and they resisted my attempts to catch them with great vigor (and success I might add).

During this escapade, it struck me that people are sort of like those little fish who resisted the change of environment. They were used to the little pond- the only world they knew. To change that would be devastating for them. Of course, my intent was only for their good, their safekeeping.

 I put myself into the mind of God for a moment. “I’m only looking out for their good, and they resist me at every turn”. How must God look at us as we resist change that is only for our benefit? I pitied the plight of the poor fish in their resistance. However, I persisted, and I caught them, transferred them to the larger pond, and they survived the winter ice.

I have used this story at funerals, to point out that final translation to heaven is for good- eternal life. Of course, desiring life, we resist that change with ferocity, and understandably so. But change is often what we need, even when we are resisting it because the present reality is all we know. God knows our need, and he wants the best for us.

Even when we do not fully understand it.

Prayer: Lord, you understand our thinking, and love us, even in our resistance, Amen

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!

Mark 9:24

Sometimes we make definitive statements which are too black and white. Sometimes, in order to try to understand the world, we break things into “either/or” categories. That often is too simplistic. Life is nuanced, and there are simply areas of life that cannot be broken into such clear categories.

An example I see is in the area of “certainty”. Living in a certain amount of ambiguity is uncomfortable. We want an answer. In our faith journey, we often want simple yes or no, black or white answers. Yet, I think there are plenty of things which do not lend themselves to easy answers.

Having faith does not mean that we have no doubts. I would argue, that without doubt, there is no need for faith. If everything is simply a matter of blind faith, we leave no room for the discomfort of doubt. I believe that our faith can stand the scrutiny of sincere questioning.

In an earlier post, I made this statement relative to prayer: “We all have doubt, I take that as a given. However, it confirms our faith each time we pray. It affirms our faith, however shaky it may be. Faith, even as small as the mustard seed, is shown when we open our mouth to utter His name.”

The principle here is that we act on faith, even if we are not fully on board. No faith is perfect, but whatever faith we do have must be exercised to become real. It is a counseling principle that we “Do, then feel”- meaning, if we do good and right behaviors, we will begin to feel better. We cannot wait to feel better to start acting better.

So, you have doubt, I have doubt. Let’s not let that get in the way of exercising that small faith that we do have. “I believe, help my unbelief”

Prayer: Thank you Father for giving us the mind to have doubt. Thank you for the grace to give us such space. Thank you for the gift of faith and the room for doubt. Amen

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself…”                                                                                                     Franklin Delano Roosevelt

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love                                                                                             I John 4:17-18

I recently had a client who was auditioning for a part in a movie. He explained to me that his anxiety was very high, and it adversely affected his performance. I talked with him about the experience as we processed ways to handle that in the future. It is a facet of anxiety that I have discussed in this blog before. Anxiety is typically irrational, self-defeating, and at times overwhelming. The irony of course is this- my client’s fear of losing his lines CAUSED him to lose his lines!

In this way, anxiety can be the self-fulfilling prophecy that seems to have a life of its own, and a goal of defeating our desires. Once my client and I went over some of the specifics of what happened, we came up with a game plan for future auditions. The game plan included making sure that he went for the next audition, and that he did not let the anxiety win. His behavior- his determination and discipline- would carry the day. We both knew he could do it if he had the strategy to deal with the anxiety when it showed up. Yes, we were pretty sure it would show up, so I wanted him to be prepared WHEN it showed up.

Anxiety is our unwanted traveling partner. My suggestion to the client was to recognize that this traveling partner would not go away, but that he could take control of it, manage it, and find a way to make it a motivator, not an enemy.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us all the tools to overcome fear, Amen

Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.                                                                                                                                                                        I Corinthians 7:5 (The Message)

I had the opportunity recently to share an analogy with some clients who are in a difficult marriage situation. I used the analogy of a yoke of oxen. The oxen are yoked together so that they can share the load and pull in the same direction. If one is pulling sideways, or not pulling at all, the whole operation comes to a grinding halt. They are yoked together to share the burden, but also to lighten the load of the other. The yoke, while confining, also helps to leverage the maximum amount of power from the straining oxen.

This couple needed to be reminded periodically that they are on the same team. They are not trying to out-pull the other, or to try to make the burden harder. They are yoked for a reason. If they can remember to see that as they pull together, the burden gets lighter for both, they will be fine.

They are on the same team.

I find that clients who somehow have the belief that their partner does not have their best interest at stake are often not able to stay together. Even when couples are in disagreements, arguments, or just a strained place in the relationship, if they can deep down know that their partner has their back and wants the best for them, they will probably be OK.

So, even when things get tough, remember that your partner wants the best for you, even if it does not feel that way at the moment. I trust that is the case in the majority of stable relationships. Just remind yourself that you are together in it.

Prayer: Lord, help remind us that we are loved, even in the midst of trials, Amen

Making your way in the world today Takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break from all your worries Sure would help a lot
Wouldn’t you like to get away? All those nights when you’ve got no lights
The check is in the mail And your little angel
Hung the cat up by it’s tail And your third fiance didn’t show

Sometimes you wanna go Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came You wanna be where you can see (ah-ah)
Our troubles are all the same (ah-ah)
You wanna be where everybody knows your name

(Cheers theme song lyrics)

Do you remember the old TV show Cheers?  OK, now I’ve got you singing that song in your head. You’re welcome.

It was a funny, well-written show that was about the activities that went on in the local bar. A place where regular customers came in and bantered about life. The theme song (first stanza above) has some very interesting and true-to-life words. The words of the last two lines always struck me:

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came you wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows your name

I had a client recently who was suffering a very painful estrangement from her family. There had been much rejection, even abuse, and this client was trying to find places where she would be validated and accepted. Her family of origin, unfortunately, was not one of those places. While she was hurt by family rejection, she still longed for their validation.

I suggested to this client that such validation is necessary for all of us. We seek out places where we are accepted, “where everybody knows our name”. A place where, “they’re always glad you came”

My suggestion to her was involvement in small groups at her church, or perhaps volunteer work with others with whom she could connect in a mission larger than herself. Perhaps in places like that, she could find meaningful connections and acceptance just for who she is.

It is interesting that many people do seek such validation at bars. The show’s characters like Sam, and Norm, and Cliff, and Diane found acceptance in the bar. I would hope that perhaps churches could be places where people find the comfort of caring relationships. Where everybody (or many) know your name; where they are glad you came, and missed you if you did not come.

Maybe then more people would seek out churches rather than bars for those relationships.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us relational beings. Help us to validate and encourage one another, Amen

Three of Job’s friends heard of all the trouble that had fallen on him. Each traveled from his own country—Eliphaz from Teman, Bildad from Shuhah, Zophar from Naamath—and went together to Job to keep him company and comfort him. When they first caught sight of him, they couldn’t believe what they saw—they hardly recognized him! They cried out in lament, ripped their robes, and dumped dirt on their heads as a sign of their grief. Then they sat with him on the ground. Seven days and nights they sat there without saying a word. They could see how rotten he felt, how deeply he was suffering.                                                                                                                                       Job 2:11-13 (The Message)

This passage from the book of Job in the Bible always struck me as a great lesson in the importance of “presence”. Job had just experienced devastating losses of family and possessions, and he was in great misery. His friends from all around the area conferred with one another and went to comfort their friend. Upon arrival, they simply sat with him. They were so moved by his pain that they experienced suffering themselves. They said nothing, perhaps too stunned to know what to say, and wise enough to say nothing. They just wanted to be with their friend in his time of need.

It was only after they started to try to give him advice that they caused him some additional emotional pain. That however, is another story. The point is that they cared enough to plan together to travel to see him, and they just sat with him to show their love and support. That, it turned out, was the real healing they brought to their friend Job.

This COVID-19 crisis caused us to be much less present with one another physically. Yes, we are blessed with many modes of electronic communication, and that is of incredible value. But we missed physical presence. There is something about just being with others, connecting, hugging, touching, that had been taken from us. I missed it, and thankfully, it is now being restored.

 Just today, I had the opportunity to reconnect with people I have not seen for many years. What a blessing it was to see them, hug them, and tell them in person how much I value them.

I trust that one of the lessons we take away from the COVID crisis is to never again undervalue the importance of being simply present with one another. What a gift that is.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for building us to be in need of one another’s presence. We often feel your presence when we are with others, Amen

And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.                                                                                               Romans 5:4 (Living Bible)

On this date 52 years ago the first manned moon landing took place, with Neil Armstrong steeping from his lunar lander and voicing his famous words “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”

That technological marvel was accomplished through the efforts of some 400,000 people, working in various capacities over many years to make this historic even happen. They also did this, for the most part, with old analog technology. The phone that you carry in your pocket has vastly more computing power than was available for that launch to the moon.

We take so much for granted now as we have progressed in technological knowledge. If the show we are streaming has a blip, we become upset. We have become used to instant access to everything. Yet this instant access to information sometimes shortcuts the processing time that we used to have to employ in getting that information. We now expect instant results, quick solutions, and immediate gratification.

Is it any wonder that there has arisen a sense of impatience among us? We want it (whatever it is) NOW. If we do not get it, we feel cheated. This growing sense of impatience and entitlement is leading to increased violence. We see this daily, and it is worrisome to say the least.

Once the instant gratification phenomenon is available, it is expected. It is hard to slow things down when we expect instant results. Anything less makes us angry.

So, I have no answers for our human nature. That’s us! But I do hope that we can look at our own sense of instant gratification, and try to slow down the process of our expectations.

As the old saying goes, “Lord, give me patience, and give it to me now!”

Prayer: Lord, you have given us great gifts to improve the world. Help us to be wise stewards, Amen

A man without God is trusting in a spider’s web. Everything he counts on will collapse.  If he counts on his home for security, it won’t last.                                                                                                                     Job 8:14-15 (Living Bible)

Immediately following World War I, Warren Harding ran on a platform of “Return to Normalcy”. No one is exactly sure what that means, but it sure sounded good to a war-weary American populace in the 1920 election. Much like our return to post-Covid-19 life (yes, I’m saying “post Covid” even though the Delta variant is still a problem), we want a return to “normal”.

I began to think about my own sense of normal. I am more a creature of habit than I care to admit (yes, I just admitted it, stay with me). If there is any break in my routine, even good things like vacations, I get thrown off a bit, and I crave a return to what I see as my normal.

Even in little things.

 Recently, we just had new carpet installed. Yes, a good thing to replace old carpet- fresh look and feel and all that. Yet, the house was disrupted for several days, things out of place etc., and my normal routine was altered just a bit. I noticed that I was anxious to get “back to normal”. I wanted things put back into their place, and my routine restored.

Funny how we rely upon the simple little things to give us a sense of normal. That “normal” is our sense of feeling secure, because life is then a bit more predictable. If a little thing like a break from our routine can give us a slight sense of imbalance, how much more does trauma affect our lives?

We seek security and predictability. That true security in life comes from our faith, but we sure want those little tokens of our “normal” to keep us on an even keel.

I know I do.

Prayer: Lord, be with those whose life is disrupted by trauma of any kind. Bless them and give them your sense of security, Amen