The blog today is a reprint, by permission, from my daughter, Dr. Jennifer Hartwell. This is a tradition that we started about 30 years ago where we would share space in our respective blogs with one another and our readers. Her latest blog, from her site, www. traumamom4.com, is so good I asked her if I could share it. It is titled Two Things at Once. It is about our current political and religious culture in the United States, and I think it should be widely shared.   

In late 2023, the Kansas City Chiefs tight end, Travis Kelce, starred in a Pfizer ad where he repeated the phrase “Two things at once!” several times, encouraging people to get both their COVID-19 booster and flu shot in a single pharmacy visit. Around the same time, we had a new puppy who loved to play with two toys at the same time. So, we lovingly gave our puppy, Edison, the middle name “Travis” in honor of the ad featuring our hometown football hero. (Edison’s real full name is Edison Alfalfa Travis Joe Hartwell…Edison, to keep the theme as our previous Doodle was named Einstein; Alfalfa for the tuft of hair that always stands up on his head; and Joe, because he looks uncannily like our daughter’s childhood stuffed dog that she oddly named Joe. Names usually have a history…)

While Edison couldn’t have a clue about what is happening in the world today, the story behind his middle name is worthy of consideration when we aim to make sense of the mess we are in. As we become more and more polarized in our nation, I think we have lost our sense of being able to hold that two things can be true at once.

I can be for the liberation of the Iranian people from an authoritarian and violent regime, AND be against the US and Israel’s war on Iran.

I can be for the enforcement of immigration laws, AND be against cruel and disproportionate force against immigrants.

I can be for the separation of Church and State, AND hold deeply sacred personal beliefs in my Christian faith.

I can be for caution and security surrounding our election process, AND be against unnecessary, unproven barriers that disenfranchise voters.

I could go on. But I think you understand the point. We can hold two truths at once.

With 30-second TikTok videos, Instagram memes, and bots on Facebook, we have been baited into believing, and behaving as if, the only correct position is only Democrat or only Republican; far right or far left. We have lost too much of our capacity for nuance; for tension. We have lost our willingness to live and work and breathe in the messy middle.

I get it, though. The stakes feel really high. And they are. Many (most?) of us feel as if democracy is on the line. We are fearful for our freedoms, our rights, and our safety. We may sense we can’t afford to spend precious time in the weeds, appreciating nuance and finding common ground. The most expedient, the safest, thing to do is to choose a side, go deep, and dig in.

But now, more than ever, it’s crucial for us to individually name our beliefs. Decide where we stand. And also pause just long enough to consider how much of what we are told is black and white, we are really willing to beautifully allow to blend into soothing shades of gray.

I am not suggesting that there is room for compromise on everything or that we should loosen our convictions. I am, however, suggesting that we need to give each other space to see the bigger picture. Compassionate immigration enforcement is possible. Pressure on an authoritarian regime is possible without a war. Freedom of religion shouldn’t look even remotely close to theocracy.

In politics, they call it “Reaching across the aisle”. In real life, we call it…holding two things at once.

The blog today is a reprint, by permission, from my daughter, Dr. Jennifer Hartwell. This is a tradition that we started about 30 years ago where we would share space in our respective blogs with one another and our readers. Her latest blog, from her site, www. traumamom4.com, is so good I asked her if I could share it. It is titled Two Things at Once. It is about our current political and religious culture in the United States, and I think it should be widely shared.   

In late 2023, the Kansas City Chiefs tight end, Travis Kelce, starred in a Pfizer ad where he repeated the phrase “Two things at once!” several times, encouraging people to get both their COVID-19 booster and flu shot in a single pharmacy visit. Around the same time, we had a new puppy who loved to play with two toys at the same time. So, we lovingly gave our puppy, Edison, the middle name “Travis” in honor of the ad featuring our hometown football hero. (Edison’s real full name is Edison Alfalfa Travis Joe Hartwell…Edison, to keep the theme as our previous Doodle was named Einstein; Alfalfa for the tuft of hair that always stands up on his head; and Joe, because he looks uncannily like our daughter’s childhood stuffed dog that she oddly named Joe. Names usually have a history…)

While Edison couldn’t have a clue about what is happening in the world today, the story behind his middle name is worthy of consideration when we aim to make sense of the mess we are in. As we become more and more polarized in our nation, I think we have lost our sense of being able to hold that two things can be true at once.

I can be for the liberation of the Iranian people from an authoritarian and violent regime, AND be against the US and Israel’s war on Iran.

I can be for the enforcement of immigration laws, AND be against cruel and disproportionate force against immigrants.

I can be for the separation of Church and State, AND hold deeply sacred personal beliefs in my Christian faith.

I can be for caution and security surrounding our election process, AND be against unnecessary, unproven barriers that disenfranchise voters.

I could go on. But I think you understand the point. We can hold two truths at once.

With 30-second TikTok videos, Instagram memes, and bots on Facebook, we have been baited into believing, and behaving as if, the only correct position is only Democrat or only Republican; far right or far left. We have lost too much of our capacity for nuance; for tension. We have lost our willingness to live and work and breathe in the messy middle.

I get it, though. The stakes feel really high. And they are. Many (most?) of us feel as if democracy is on the line. We are fearful for our freedoms, our rights, and our safety. We may sense we can’t afford to spend precious time in the weeds, appreciating nuance and finding common ground. The most expedient, the safest, thing to do is to choose a side, go deep, and dig in.

But now, more than ever, it’s crucial for us to individually name our beliefs. Decide where we stand. And also pause just long enough to consider how much of what we are told is black and white, we are really willing to beautifully allow to blend into soothing shades of gray.

I am not suggesting that there is room for compromise on everything or that we should loosen our convictions. I am, however, suggesting that we need to give each other space to see the bigger picture. Compassionate immigration enforcement is possible. Pressure on an authoritarian regime is possible without a war. Freedom of religion shouldn’t look even remotely close to theocracy.

In politics, they call it “Reaching across the aisle”. In real life, we call it…holding two things at once.

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.  If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command.  I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.                                     John 15: 9-15

These words of Scripture are very reassuring- reminding us of God’s ever present love toward us. In John 15 I see God’s incredible plan being spoken clearly by Jesus. He is saying that the plan of the God of the universe is that we love one another just like we love Him, and that such is the essence of life and of pleasing Him. Can one even imagine the magnitude of this plan? That we can please God by loving others? That he only wants our peace and justice toward each other to please Him? That He calls us “friend”? Incredible! Right up there with the incarnation which made it all possible.

In the book of Micah, we also see that same plan laid out centuries before.

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)

If we are not living this out every day, at least to some degree, can we really call ourselves followers of Jesus? We look for opportunities to show the love of God to others. In so doing, we fulfill the requirements that Jesus set forth for his followers.

Years ago, our pastor, Mike Slaughter, discussed the importance of five daily disciplines as Christians. The daily disciplines that Mike discussed- pray, and read the Word, inevitably lead to the other daily disciplines that we must practice- give, serve others, and fellowship with other believers.

Again, I am amazed that God has chosen this simple, yet profound truth that we must live by- serve and love others, and you have served and loved Me!

Prayer: Father, thank you for the plans that you have for us, and that you love us and consider us in the ways that you do. Help me to love others and serve them so that you may be honored, Amen.

Since you have been chosen by God who has given you this new kind of life, and because of his deep love and concern for you, you should practice tenderhearted mercy and kindness to others…                         Colossians 3:12

 I was talking with a couple in a counseling session a few weeks ago, and the husband mentioned that when the couple ordered pizza for the family, his wife sometimes really didn’t consider his request for the kind of pizza they would order. She would order what the kids had asked for but sometimes didn’t include him in asking what he would like. She may have assumed that she knew what he liked, or perhaps she thought that he didn’t care enough to speak up, so she just made a decision.  

A little thing to be sure. But he took it as another reminder that she wasn’t considering his needs or wants. Indeed, with this couple, there had been an emotional disconnect that is far more than about pizza. We talked about this situation, and it gave us the opportunity to discuss those issues that were underneath the little pizza situation.

Studies show that when couples practice simple kindness to one another- just showing courtesy and polite behavior- that behavior goes a very long way in increasing couple satisfaction. Yes, people can take each other for granted, and we all are guilty at one time or another of doing that, but those small kindnesses become big things over time. Practicing politeness and courtesy to one another seems like a little thing. But remember, “it’s not about the pizza”.

Prayer: Lord, keep us always mindful of those whom we hold dear so that we can display that love regularly, Amen

“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.              Mark 13:32

Many of my readers will recall the 1970’s, especially the turmoil around the oil embargo and energy crisis that left many Americans waiting in long lines at the gas pumps. We were restricted sometimes to the number of gallons allowed to be purchased at one visit. Prices went high, and for the first time, many people worried that the world’s oil supply would be depleted.

This spawned a great deal of social, political, and religious unrest. In the evangelical Christian world, authors such as Hal Lindsey, Salem Kirban, Tim LaHaye, Jerry Jenkins, and others began to write about “end times” prophecy. There was great interest, and not a little anxiety, around the second coming of Jesus. There were predictions of that return, and I recall that there was quite a stir about Jesus returning in 1988 (September, specifically, to coincide with Yom Kippur). That, you see, was the 40^th anniversary of the founding of the modern state of Israel.   

 It struck me then as pretty odd that we spent so much time worrying about end times theology. Today too, there is great interest in eschatology- end times theology- and there are even political discussions based upon a particular theology.   

Jesus said this about the end of times on earth, “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. I take that as Jesus saying, “don’t waste your time trying to figure out something you will never know. Just live your life in such a way that, whenever that time comes, you have served your God”.

So, dear readers, you and I do not know when this world will collapse and Jesus will return. Living in the present is the best way to avoid the anxiety of living in the future.

Prayer: Lord, help is to keep the main thing in mind- to love others until whenever the end comes, Amen

I saw that wisdom is better than folly, just as light is better than darkness. Ecclesiastes 2:13

Today’s beautiful hint of Spring got me thinking about sunlight, and its role in Serotonin production. Being active in the sunshine is a great way to increase Serotonin levels.

I recall an interesting article from my friend and colleague Joe Wegmann, the Pharmatherapist. Joe wrote about the theory of chemical imbalance in depression, specifically the concept of Serotonin depletion as a cause of depression.

Joe indicates that it is too simplistic, and very inaccurate to blame Serotonin depletion alone for depression. Depression is a multi-factor illness, with roots in the physical, social, emotional, and spiritual parts of our being. Serotonin depletion can be found in depressed individuals, but is it a cause or effect, or even a by-product of depression? Yes, Serotonin depletion is real, but to blame depression on merely low Serotonin levels is not doing a justice to the complexity of the illness.

That being said, anti-depressants which help to raise or maintain Serotonin levels are still beneficial for many patients. If you are taking an SSRI, don’t stop or change dosage without serious conversations with your therapist and your physician. Yet, realize that depression is multi-faceted, and that the remedy too must include all parts on one’s life. Strong social and familial connections are still the best tools one has in dealing with depression.

If you are a reader of this blog for any length of time, you will also note that I strongly suggest regular and even vigorous exercise, and close attention to one’s spiritual life as tools to effectively combat depression.

So, recognize that you do have tools to deal with depression, and that others around you want to help.

Please reach out to them.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us many people around us to lean on in hard times. When we are depressed, remind us again, Amen.

…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.                                                 Luke 12:48

I think about this verse often. It is a simple bit of wisdom, perhaps even a statement of justice. When we are given an abundance of anything- wealth, health, resources, intelligence, safety- you name it- we are required to use it wisely, and in the service of those who are not as blessed.

I think of this in the area of power. Those who have been given a great deal of power, such as elected officials, leaders of organizations, leaders of countries, etc. are required to use it wisely and beneficently for those whom they lead.

I think how one uses power is a mark of character. If the one(s) in power use their power mostly for their own benefit or desires, that is a serious character flaw.  Those who strive to share that power, or to empower others, would have, in my opinion, high character.

Power and gifts have been ordained by God for the common good. Yes, we live in a fallen world, where our own desires crowd out, and can even drown out the need to benefit others with our gifts and talents.

So, we need to keep in mind that we are just stewards of those benefits and gifts, and much is required of those who possess them.

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for the gifts you give us. Help us to use them wisely, Amen

…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.                                                 Luke 12:48

I think about this verse often. It is a simple bit of wisdom, perhaps even a statement of justice. When we are given an abundance of anything- wealth, health, resources, intelligence, safety- you name it- we are required to use it wisely, and in the service of those who are not as blessed.

I think of this in the area of power. Those who have been given a great deal of power, such as elected officials, leaders of organizations, leaders of countries, etc. are required to use it wisely and beneficently for those whom they lead.

I think how one uses power is a mark of character. If the one(s) in power use their power mostly for their own benefit or desires, that is a serious character flaw.  Those who strive to share that power, or to empower others, would have, in my opinion, high character.

Power and gifts have been ordained by God for the common good. Yes, we live in a fallen world, where our own desires crowd out, and can even drown out the need to benefit others with our gifts and talents.

So, we need to keep in mind that we are just stewards of those benefits and gifts, and much is required of those who possess them.

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for the gifts you give us. Help us to use them wisely, Amen

They put a purple robe on him, then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on him. Mark 15:17

This tree caught my attention as I was walking in the woods last week. The rugged thorns immediately took me to picture the crown of thorns placed upon the head of Jesus before his crucifixion. We know the story of that horrific torture of Jesus. Humankind has come up with some particularly gruesome and creative ways to torture other people. This crown of thorns was another of those extraordinary torture techniques inflicted on Jesus. The crucifixion itself is a horrible way to die. The added dimension of a crown of thorns was gratuitous cruelty.

I touched the thorns and they were sharp and stout. They could penetrate the scalp with just a bit of pressure placed upon them. I cannot imagine the pain that this added to the suffering of the already depleted body of Jesus.

We don’t like to think that civilized humans can come up with such creative tortures, but we can and we do. Rather than think of the awful minds of the torturers, we care called to think on the willing mind of Jesus who endured this suffering for his people- you and me.

Prayer: Lord, we can hardly imagine the love that motivates Jesus. Help us to come close to sharing it, Amen

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.                                                                                                                               Philippians 4:8

I recently spoke with a client who struggles with anxiety, specifically around how she relates to others, and what are proper responses in dealing with other people. She often projects onto others thoughts of her own, especially around their acceptance of her. Sadly, she often feels unaccepted, and she has low self-esteem. Though she would want others to like her, she often does not like herself. She tends to judge other people, assuming that they are judging her. In short, she overthinks many social situations. Overthinking situations is a cause of anxiety, but is also perhaps a result of it.

We had discussion about what she is responsible for and what she is NOT responsible for. That being said, anxiety control is often about knowing what we CAN control and what we CANNOT control.  

She is responsible for her own actions, and her responses to others. That is why we have executive function which filters our responses to others before we blurt out something hurtful. We cannot always control the thoughts that come into our head, but we can control what comes out of our mouth.

This woman is very bright and insightful, but her anxiety frustrates her and causes her a great deal of emotional pain. Letting go of overthinking is easy to say, but hard to do. If it were as simple as “letting it go”, nobody would suffer from anxiety.

So, “let go and let God” is a nice trite saying, but let us be sure that we are not trivializing the pain that so many who suffer from anxiety endure.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be accepting of those who struggle with anxiety, Amen