I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength to do his work. He considered me trustworthy and appointed me to serve him…                                                                                             I Timothy 1:12

A number of years ago the group Kool and the Gang had a mega hit song titled Celebration. The song still resonates when a sports team wins a championship. I remember that the song was played often in early 1981 after the Cincinnati Bengals got to the Super Bowl. You know, Cincinnati sports fans remember such things because such events are pretty rare for our sports teams.

But the song is great, and celebratory, of course, and it brings to mind the idea that we need to celebrate even the little things. What are the little things that you need to celebrate? Heaven knows, we need to be grateful every day for just waking up and being able to enjoy and influence the spaces where God has placed us. Be sure to know that God has placed you exactly where you are for many reasons. You may not always be aware of those reasons, but trust that it is true. You have a purpose!

So, my dear readers, celebrate this day of life and purpose. When you celebrate it, and your part in it, the meaning may become more clear. It is like the old saying, “Seeing is believing”. Indeed, the corollary is often the larger truth, “Believing is seeing”.

Prayer: Lord, we give thanks for where you place us, even when we cannot immediately see the picture fully, Amen

I don’t want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don’t want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences.                                      Ephesian 4:2-3

The laws of physics govern all of our physical actions. I am struck by the fact that those laws also are in play in how we relate to one another. You see, it takes energy to generate warmth. That is a physical law as well as a relational law. One needs to be intentional in order to generate those actions which can show warmth to another person.

As I have discussed in earlier blogs, warmth can be defined as effective non-verbal communication. Eye contact, smiles, gestures, body posture, and personal distance all play into the conveyance of warmth. Warmth can also be communicated by words, but whether it is verbal, or non-verbal, or both, it takes energy to generate the warmth. In other words, it costs something to reach out beyond our personal space to another person.

I have talked with clients who assume that their partner needs to be the one to be first to reach out to extend warm connections. There are many contextual reasons for such thinking, but I point out that such thinking is like expecting a fireplace to produce heat without first stoking it with wood. It costs some energy to generate warmth, but that is exactly the need for maintaining relationships.

Are we willing to pay that price?

Prayer: Lord, you have made us relational beings, needing warmth. Help us to give warmth to those whom we love, Amen

The encouragement to stay positive comes from many quarters. My new favorite philosopher, Ted Lasso, is an embodiment of that school of thought. These days in America, it is increasingly difficult to stay positive, yet we must do that for ourselves and others.

It is political ad season, and that means vicious and misleading attack ads fill the airwaves and social media. When I was young, political ads generally featured the attributes of the candidate being promoted. Over the years, the ads have almost completely gone to misleading and downright untruthful assertions about the other candidate. Graphics are displayed to make the other candidate look like a monster. I know that my readers have experienced this as well.

Well, I try to stay positive by simply turning off negative ads. I already know for whom I am voting, and those ridiculous commercials will not convince me. I keep up with news from many sources, so I need not rely upon one slanted source. Heaven knows I would never believe what those dreadful campaign ads say.

So, to maintain my own sense of agency, and my own idea of standards about how people should be treated, I simply change the channel or mute the TV when those images appear. It gives me a sense of control. I need not be subjected to such negativity, so I control what comes into my space.

Don’t get me wrong, both political parties are at fault- they are equal opportunity offenders. However, I don’t have to participate, and I will not do so. This is my little act of positive rebellion over the current political atmosphere.

Stay positive, my friends!      

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free…                                                                                   Luke 4:18

“If the gospel isn’t good news for everybody, then it isn’t good news for anybody…”             Rob Bell

Our pastor once gave his sermon about Jesus “going to the margins”. What he meant was that Jesus always sought out those whom the current culture or ruling elites had put on those margins of society. Jesus came to proclaim God’s love and freedom for those whom the culture had forgotten or indeed, had even punished.

When that Spirit of the Lord rests upon the followers of Jesus, they are compelled to do the same- reach out to those whom the culture has marginalized. When Jesus related the story of the “Good Samaritan” he told the listeners, “Go and do likewise”. Our response to Jesus must be to do the same things he did.

I get a little concerned about the use and misuse of the term “personal salvation.” Indeed, Jesus came to give his life for us and to bring each of us into reconciliation with the Father, but too often, I think salvation becomes “only personal”. It can allow people to claim their own standing with God, and then feel like they are finished. We are to be followers of the way that Jesus taught, and not just “name droppers.”

If we are to be people of “the way of Jesus”, we need to act like him, and not just name him. The Christmas season is a wonderful opportunity to reach people who are on those margins. We can give of our finances and our time to help find people who may not know of the reason for the season. Then we can start to love them into the Kingdom that Jesus invited all to attend.

Prayer: Lord, what a beautiful opportunity we have to show your love to others in this season, Amen

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?             Matthew 6:26-27

I was speaking with a client recently about what might give her more of a sense of serenity. We got around to the subject of what might be a reason that she does not have more peace, and I suggested to her that her serenity cannot be based upon her husband’s behavior. She has spent a great deal of time worrying about whether her husband has been unfaithful to her, as he had been in the past, and she soon realized the truth of the statement- her serenity was not dependent upon her husband’s behavior. This was something beyond her control.

So often we fail to see things that are obvious. In our attempts to find peace of mind, we try and try to figure things out. Somehow, we get the idea that if we put a lot of effort into something, we can get some measure of control. The less energy we give to certain things, the better the outcome.

I am not against hard work by any means! Work is good for the mind, body, and soul. However, when it comes to trying to overthink things over which we have little or no control, The truth is, often, less is more.

Prayer: Lord, help us to discern the things that we can control, and those that we cannot, Amen

So God created human beings in his own image.
In the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.                                                                                                                           Genesis 1:27

There has been a great deal of interest in temperament types, especially in the past 30 years. People are fascinated by the idea that there are fundamental underlying forces in our make-up which drive our behavior and the way that we think. Indeed, I believe that temperament is etched into our genetic material, and that we have a natural “bent” of the way that we perceive the world and react to it.

Carl Jung (no relation as far as I know) popularized this in his work Psychological Types. The concept has been around for many centuries, darting back to Herodotus who wrote about the “4 basic humours (as he called them) which determine a person’s health”. Those humours were blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm. The balance of those humours, he believed, determined not only health, but the temperament of the individual. Those temperaments came to be labeled “choleric”, “phlegmatic”, “sanguine” and “melancholy”.

Interestingly enough, Jung’s later explanations of psychological types lined up nicely with Herodotus’s explanations, just with different names, and much more science to explain them. Later still, the Myers-Briggs Personality Types were themselves a further explanation of Jung’s Psychological Types.

Being a Jung myself (but not necessarily a Jungian), I do find temperament theory fascinating and quite helpful in explaining interpersonal relationships. In relationship counseling, it can be very helpful to discover temperament and explain to the partners in the relationship how those differences, which initially brought the couple together, now drives the other crazy.

What makes an Introvert attractive to an Extrovert, and vice-versa? What are the strengths and weaknesses of each type? How does temperament affect our responses to stress? Why do some people fail to appreciate their own temperament type?

These are some of the questions and concepts I will be discussing over the next few blogs. I hope you join me on the journey.

Prayer: We are fearfully and wonderfully made, and only you can really understand us. Thank you for your creative plan for diversity, which makes life so amazing, Amen

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you                                                                                                   Psalm 32:8

I have spoken to numerous groups over the years about leadership principles, and the integral characteristics of leadership. One of the examples I give is that of Dean Smith, the legendary coach of the University of North Carolina basketball team for many years. Coach Smith was a winning basketball coach. That is like saying “the sun is hot”. He won 879 games in his storied career, as well as two national championships, an NIT Championship (when that meant something), and an Olympic gold medal. The list of his basketball accomplishments could take this whole blog, so I will suffice it to say, this Hall of Fame Coach, was really good at coaching basketball.

More than his basketball coaching prowess was his great leadership ability. The young men he coached would come back to visit him year after year, attesting to his impact on their life, and not just their basketball life- their life. Dean Smith cared about the young men he coached, and they knew it.

One of the touching and impactful things he did was to set aside money in his will to give a check for $200 to each of the former lettermen that he coached for those 36 years at North Carolina. A letter went to each of those men after his death, stating “Enjoy a dinner out compliments of Coach Dean Smith.”

Dean Smith demonstrated a lesson even after his death. You care about the people whom you lead, and you remember them. Great leaders are selfless, thoughtful people who continue to teach, even after they are gone.

Thank you, Dean Smith for those lessons. Leaders like you are hard to come by.

Prayer: Father, thank you for examples of how to care for the people that we lead and mentor, Amen.

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”        Matthew 20:28

I will be teaching on principles of leadership this week at a local Chamber of Commerce Leadership program, and it has me thinking again about leadership concepts. One of the key principles of leadership is the idea of “for whose benefit is this?”

As a counselor I employ this idea all the time, because it is an ethical principal of my profession. My goal is to be there for my client, not to have my own needs met. Closely linked to this concept is the idea that leaders are in their position to serve those whom they lead, not to be served by them.

The best leaders know and incorporate this attribute as part of who they are. If you want a leadership position to feed your own ego, you are not fit to be a leader. Jesus was a prime example of this. He was the perfect example of leadership, even giving his life in the service of those who followed him.

Many of the concepts of leadership that I teach seem to be counterintuitive. Indeed, Jesus was an example of this, saying things like “for even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

So, this week, I will offer a few more ideas on leadership. I hope you stay tuned…

Prayer: Lord, you have taught us through Jesus what true leadership is, Amen

The Lord mocks the mockers
    but is gracious to the humble.                                                                                                         Proverbs 3:34

As we know, Artificial Intelligence (AI) learns from everything that has already been produced by human beings. We also know that there is growing concern about where AI is heading. In some cases, it has already “gone rogue”. There are reports that AI bots have set up scams, have taken over some websites, and generally have caused some havoc of its own doing. Yes, for all of the good that has and can come out of AI applications, there are also some deep concerns.

Essentially, I have concern because human being themselves are quite “tribal”. We sort into group affiliations based upon cultural, religious and racial identities. I am wondering how AI will fare as it mimics our human habits. Our tribal notions have landed us in some pretty dreadful wars and conflicts over the centuries.

I have no idea where AI is heading in the future, but I do know that many top AI developers are warning us about the current unrestricted learning process. I wonder about where the guardrails are for a process without a soul.  

So, my friends, I do not want to be an alarmist, but I do believe that the future of our planet needs to have actual human souls guarding the process somehow. I want leadership with a conscience to be able to put the brakes on things that affect our future.

What say you?

Prayer: Lord, you have made us to be curious creatures. Help us to have the humility to recognize proper limits on what we produce, Amen

“Don’t think about winning the game. Just do everything possible to prepare. As long as you know you have done everything possible and you have given your best self on the court, that is your reward. The scoreboard is meaningless.”                                                                                  John Wooden

This quote by Hall of Fame coach John Wooden was spoken to his star player from the 1960’s, Kareem Abdul Jabbar (at the time named Lew Alcindor). The venerable coach Wooden shared a valuable life lesson with his young star player.

The only thing that we can control is the effort and preparation that we put into any endeavor. There are variables beyond our control in, say, a sports game, a performance, an interview- whatever. Things can go wrong that are not our fault at times. In a sporting contest, there are many things that can happen that we cannot control- mistakes by officials, weather issues, injuries, etc.

If we have done all that we can reasonably do to prepare, we have met our objective, and we can be more at ease. In other words, do all that you can do, then just pray about the rest. You have done your job. Winning is not the primary consideration. Doing our best, is.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to let go of the outcome and consider the process, Amen