Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being                                                                     Genesis 2:7 (NIV)

I titled today’s blog The Human Spirit, but I could have just as easily titled it The Spirit of God. The Bible discusses the origin of human life as being “God breathed”. The same language was used at the time of Pentecost when the Holy Spirit came over the crowds as “strong wind and tongues of fire”.

I was thinking of this idea of the human spirit after seeing my clients this past week. Many of my clients exhibit resilience that is remarkable. Two in particular stuck me this week. One is a young man who experienced merciless bullying when he entered high school, likely because he has severe social anxiety. He also appears to be on the autism spectrum. He has been able to demonstrate incredible resilience and courage as he has begun to journal his painful experiences. His insights and courage in visiting his pain are nothing short of remarkable. He is starting to heal.

Another client has multiple physical maladies which point to a terminal diagnosis. Yet, she has found renewed spirit and meaning by starting a ministry to homeless people. She gathers resources for these forgotten people, and she has been able to engage her church and community response to help these folks. It is what keeps her going she tells me.

So, there you have it. These people have acted out of an indomitable human spirit. Whenever you feel like you cannot push forward, be encouraged by the fact that God has instilled in us a Spirit that pushes for life, not just for us, but for others.

Prayer: Thank you, Lord for the Spirit, from above which you have breathed into us, Amen

Simon Peter answered, “Lord, there is no one else that we can go to! Your words give eternal life…  John 6:68 (Contemporary English Version)

Disappointed with God. That was the title of a book written by Phillip Yancy many years ago. Do you feel that way sometimes? If so, you’re in good company. The Psalmists, including David expressed such feelings very clearly and openly to God in their writing and in their prayers. Other Bible writers expressed that sentiment also. If you’re honest, there were plenty of times you felt that way too.  

The fact that we can be open and honest with God about such disappointment speaks to the very relationship that we have with him. Hiding those feelings from others, and ourselves, is not healthy. Sharing such disappointment with God is not only honest, it is proper. The fact that we can even be disappointed says that we have expectations of God to be part of our life. He simply does not always react the way that we would want or like.

The hard part is to “trust him anyway”. That is what the Psalmists usually ended up saying. I mean, what else can we do? As Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, there is no one else that we can go to! Your words give eternal life…”

So, it is, in my humble opinion, good to let God know that we are hurt, sad, disappointed- whatever it may be. He already knows that anyway. But we also know that we must “trust him anyway”, because truly, there is nowhere else to turn, and he has the words of eternal life.

Prayer: In the words of Peter, we know that you are the person that we turn to, and to “trust in anyway”, no matter the circumstances, Amen

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we also have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and so we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also boast in tribulation, knowing that tribulation produces patience,  patience produces character, and character produces hope.  And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who has been given to us                                                      Romans 5:1-5

There is real value in the simple phrase- “There is a solution to every problem”. The reason that this is so powerful as a fundamental belief is that it allows us to continue to seek for solutions. If our core belief is that there is a way to figure out something good out of a problem situation, we will keep looking for that solution.

The solution might not be one that we originally considered. The solution may be that we need help from others to solve a problem. The solution might be acceptance of things that we cannot change. The point is, if we believe that a solution is possible, we will continue to pursue it.

The saying is really of value in terms of the idea of looking for solutions rather than assuming that what we face is impossible. Yes, many people face daunting and terrible problems, often not of their own making. Yet the concept of finding a way out of our current difficult situation is worth the consideration.

Prayer: Lord, help us to continue to persevere, even when things look bleak, Amen

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful, I know that full well.                                                                  Psalm 139:14 (KJV)

I heard recently of a company’s clinical study about their treatment drug for migraine headaches. The company shared the results of the study in their advertising. Those participants that had received the studied medication indeed had fewer migraines per month than those who had received the placebo. However, the difference was small- about 2 less migraines per month. Based upon the study parameters however, this reduction was statistically significant. Therefore, the makers of the studied medication could advertise that their medication reduced migraines more than the placebo.

As I thought about the raw numbers, the difference in performance was minimal. Yes, based on the study parameters, the difference was significant, but the actual experienced difference was minimal.

All this is to say that the effects of placebos can be powerful. People who believe that they are receiving a remedy are often prone to experience some relief, even if the dose they received was just a sugar pill or a saline injection. The power of our mind, especially in regard to pain relief, is not to be minimized. If we are given hope, and attention, we often experience a curative effect no matter what the medication.

I recall a mentor from many years ago, a psychiatrist named Dr. Arnold Allen (a brilliant man, by the way), who cited studies about mental health treatment in the old state hospitals. He noted that studies of the newer psychoactive medications being trialed in the 1950’s, had to account for the effect of the increased attention paid to the patients in the trial studies. Just the fact that the patients were receiving increased attention from staff was indeed found to be helping in symptom relief, and it often resulted in more normal patient behaviors. It was not always just the effect of the medications in the studies.

So, our mind is a healing tool. Expectation of positive results often is healing in itself.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us in amazing ways! Amen

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.                                       II Corinthians 10:5

By Mastroianni and Hart

Thanks to www.johnhartstudios.com

I have been a fan of the B.C. comic strip for decades, not only because of its humor, but because of the life truths it often portrays. The other day, the strip really nailed it on how anxiety works. I have often said that anxiety is that self-defeating part of us that we carry around. It is our “unwanted traveling partner”.

When we can recognize that this situation exists, we can then prepare for it. Expecting that the anxiety will pop up, and it will, we can begin our control plans. We can have our list of “escape strategy” behaviors ready to deal with anxiety.

In the comic, B.C. is expecting the anxiety to kick in, just when he is having a great day. He then invites the anxiety to ruin it, almost heading it off before it sneaks up on him. This is his way of trying to control anxiety before it has a chance to control him.

There is much truth in humor. Knowing that WE are in control of the anxiety stops the anxiety from controlling us!

Prayer: Lord, you have given us tools to handle our emotions. Help us to use them wisely, Amen

“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.” So, we say with confidence “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?”

Hebrews 3:5-6

I was speaking to a client recently who had lost her adult son to death through alcoholism. Her grief is palpable, and she is recovering as best a parent can who has lost a child. Actually, there is perhaps some level of acceptance of the reality of the loss, but the pain is always there lurking to some degree. Yes, it recedes over time, but it never completely goes away.   

As parents, this is a forever covenant. Certainly, we launch our children into adulthood, and typically, if they are blessed, have children of their own. But we are always a parent. We always root for our kids’ success. We hurt if they hurt. We rejoice when they rejoice. We are always their parents.

As I have said in the past, I did not completely understand (and I certainly still don’t) the love of God until I had my own children. God said “Never will I leave you;never will I forsake you.” He said that as our Creator and loving Father.

So, we parents get the joy, and occasionally the burden, of parenthood. But no matter what, we are always parents.

What a privilege!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the gift of parenthood, Amen

See, you want truth deep within the heart. And You will make me know wisdom in the hidden part. Psalm 51:6 (New Life Version)

This above all: to thine own self be
true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to
any man

William Shakespeare (from Hamlet)

I recently talked with a client about being aware of
how he felt and being able to express those feelings safely with others. Some
people struggle to do this because it is a somewhat difficult exercise. This
particular client told me that he believes that he is on the Autism Spectrum,
and that such things come hard to him because he has never really been able to
have a safe place to even bring his feelings to the front of his awareness.

He is having some relationship issues so he decided
that he needed counseling. We discussed the idea that his expression of those
inner feelings can be almost invisible to him. When he feels fear or sadness
for example- or a mixture of both- it often comes out looking like anger.
Others, like his wife and adult child, then are hurt by what they see as anger.
My client then gets confused as to how to reconnect with them because he could
not really see how the process played out.  

He is growing and trying new things. I have so much
respect for him because this is new territory for him, and it feels strange and
perhaps scary. What a brave person he is! Trying new things, whatever they
might be, can be daunting and scary.

Yet, when we stretch, we grow.

Prayer: Lord, give us the strength to try
new things for growth, Amen

“Be curious!”                                                                                                                                                     Ted Lasso

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”                                                                           John Wooden

Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights                                Proverbs 18:15 (The Message)

I was recently speaking with a client about the need to be relevant. As we get older, we need to work hard to stay relevant, that is, to be aware of what is going on in the world, and to have some impact upon that world. I used one of my favorite quotes from basketball Hall of Fame coach  John Wooden, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts!” I also quoted that famous philosopher of positive thinking, Ted Lasso, “Be curious”.

Indeed, as we get older, we can get set in our ways, convinced that the old ways are best. Truly, ancient and accrued wisdom is of great value, but we must also temper that with the idea that our sense of certainty can be a stumbling block for new wisdom.

So, stay curious my friends. Be open for new knowledge, and for different ways of looking at our own perceived orthodoxy. We grow in our faith as we challenge it. Our muscles, even our ideas, are meant to be challenged and exercised in order to grow.

I want to stay relevant by learning from others, and by being open to new and different ideas and different cultures. Reading and traveling are great ways to stay relevant and continually learning.

So, stay curious, my friend!

Prayer: Lord, you have made us to be curious beings- what a blessing! Amen

There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next…                                             Romans 5:3-4 (The Message)

I have written in blogs past about making small, deliberate, practical changes in order to gain more of a sense of peace and control in our life. Built up over time, such regular disciplines lead to enduring positive change. The key word here is “time”. We all want to feel better right away. We are the epitome of a culture of instant gratification, and we have an insatiable need for immediate results.  

That is why weight loss, for example, is advertised in extreme terms. “Lose 30 pounds in 30 days!” Fat sculpting surgery seems to be the remedy for removal of unwanted fat. On and on we see that immediate relief is wanted, indeed expected. I too have the same malady. When my computer, for example, does not instantly respond to my commands, I can become irritated.

I tell my clients that the drugs that are addictive are the ones that give immediate relief. Indeed, anything that gives immediate relief and pleasure becomes addictive. Food, sex, alcohol, pain killers, gambling, pornography, and other forms of immediate pleasure, all have an addictive potential.

The slow, steady approach to life changes is the only way that works in the long run. No, it is not easy, nor is it quick. However, that approach does work, and it has been thus ever since the world began. We just think that we have a better, quicker way to do things.

Innovation, inventions and other time and labor-saving devices are remarkable and they are a blessing. However, when it comes to human behavior and life changes, slow and steady always wins.

Prayer: Lord, help us to have the patience and discipline to make the lasting changes you would have for us, Amen.

 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.                                                                                               Ephesians 4:15

The other day I got to thinking about a situation with one of my clients, and I asked myself, “would I share that particular thought with my client?” I had been thinking about some issues the client had discussed, and while that issue was no longer relevant to treatment, I stopped for a moment because it struck me that, while my observation was probably true, it would not be helpful to share it as feedback.

The idea of having a filter of “true and helpful” struck me as a pretty solid framework for deciding feedback. I can have a certain idea that I feel is true, but if it would not be helpful to share, I do not share it. Obviously, if something were not true, even if it would possibly helpful, I would not share it. By that I mean, sharing a false affirmation or sentiment that I did not believe  would not ultimately be helpful.

It is similar, perhaps, to “speaking the truth in love”, though not exactly the same. If I have a truth, but cannot deliver it in love, then it should not be shared. Often, I think truth cannot be truly heard unless it is delivered in love.

Alas, I am not perfect in this since I love imperfectly. Yet, I like these ethical standards as guidelines for care.

Prayer: Lord, you have entrusted to us care for one another. Help us to steward it well, Amen