A sound mind makes for a robust body,
    but runaway emotions corrode the bones. Proverbs 14:30

I saw this picture on a site when I did a search about the effects of stress on aging. This stunning photo shows President Abraham Lincoln in the short 5-year span of his Presidency during the Civil War. I am not sure that we can attribute all of this dramatic change to stress alone. Many believe that Lincoln suffered from a hormonal imbalance caused by a pituitary problem. I do not know that for sure of course, however, this picture shows a man under tremendous stress.

We have all seen “before and after” pictures of recent American Presidents who appear to have aged disproportionately during their tenures in office. Almost all of our Presidents show rather clear aging changes which might well be attributed to the incredible stress they carried.

Indeed, this is not only for American Presidents. Any world leader, or someone with terribly burdensome stress shows it in their face. The body reacts to the pressure in the mind and soul. The interconnection of mind and body seems to be clearly demonstrated in pictures like this.

The term “stress”, as it is currently used was coined by Hans Selye in 1936, who defined it as “the non-specific response of the body to any demand for change”. Stress theory came into the popular parlance in the 1960’s and 1970’s as we came to better understand the relationship between stress and general health.

All of us encounter stress in our life, and the critical question is, “What do we do with it?”

More tomorrow…

Prayer: Lord, you know our frame and our frailty, but also the strength that you can give. Help us to understand that better, Amen

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction

Newton’s Third Law of Motion

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.                                                                                                                                                                         Philippians 4:8

We are all familiar with this law, postulated by Isaac Newton. It is a truth of physics, and we are surrounded by proof of it every day. I find it fascinating that there is such balance in nature. The very atoms that make up matter are living in an equilibrium of balance. Positive and negative forces keep the atom together. There is a positive charge in the nucleus, and the electrons surrounding that nucleus are negatively charged.

So too, I think in our attitudes, there is a positive and a negative that exist at the same time. An event that happens can be seen as a positive or a negative event. It just depends on which way we decide to look at it.

The other night, I woke up to go to the bathroom. Yes, that happens with some regularity to people of a certain age- and even often to people NOT of a certain age! At any rate, on this particular night, I had to get up twice. Upon returning to bed, I was thinking in my groggy state, (but definitely awake) that waking up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night was such a nuisance of age.

 Negative thinking.

Then I thought, yes, but what a blessing that our bodies are configured in such a way to signal us to wake up so that we can USE the bathroom.

Positive thinking.

There are many situations that, given some thought, can be seen to have a potentially positive side. Certainly not all situations by any means, but many things, which on the face of them look negative or annoying, can have that positive aspect if we look at it the right way.

Please understand, I am not always that positive guy by any means! But it is good to consider the possibilities of things that happen to us as possibly having that positive aspect.

Just a thought…

Prayer: Lord, help us to look for positives whenever possible, Amen

This is a copy of a famous painting titled The Angelus, by Jean-Francois Millet. This painting has always touched me, because it hearkens to an older time- a time when people all over a community took time out when they heard the Angelus bells ring at the local parish church.

Last evening my wife and I visited our old neighborhood on the west side of Cincinnati. As we were walking near my old church, St. Martin Church in Cheviot, I heard the Angelus bells call out at 6:00PM. I was immediately transformed to a time some 50 or 60 years earlier, when those same bells rang, and we were instructed to stop in place, and pray the Angelus prayer.

It was, of course a simpler time, a bit slower paced time to be sure, but one steeped in tradition and reverence. A community of believers stopped in reverence in response to bells that called us to remember that whatever we were doing was secondary to pausing for a tribute to the Creator.

While the Angelus is no longer a part of most communities, what now is the reminder to stop whatever we are doing, and call upon our Father in humble reverence?

Prayer: Lord, help us to recall daily your provision for us, and our need for a humble response, Amen  

When you give a gift to a beggar, don’t shout about it as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you in all earnestness, they have received all the reward they will ever get.                                     Matthew 6:2

I came across this hierarchy of charity many years ago in graduate school. It is from the writings of the great Medieval Jewish philosopher Moses Maimonides.  I found it fascinating that he was able to define the levels of charity toward others, basing it upon the dignity of the recipient, which reflected directly upon the dignity of the giver.

I hope it blesses you…

There are eight levels of charity, each greater than the next.          

[1] The greatest level, above which there is no greater, is to support a fellow Jew by endowing him with a gift or loan, or entering into a partnership with him, or finding employment for him, in order to strengthen his hand so that he will not need to be dependent upon others . . .

[2] A lesser level of charity than this is to give to the poor without knowing to whom one gives, and without the recipient knowing from who he received. For this is performing a mitzvah solely for the sake of Heaven. This is like the “anonymous fund” that was in the Holy Temple [in Jerusalem]. There the righteous gave in secret, and the good poor profited in secret. Giving to a charity fund is similar to this mode of charity, though one should not contribute to a charity fund unless one knows that the person appointed over the fund is trustworthy and wise and a proper administrator, like Rabbi Chananyah ben Teradyon.

[3] A lesser level of charity than this is when one knows to whom one gives, but the recipient does not know his benefactor. The greatest sages used to walk about in secret and put coins in the doors of the poor. It is worthy and truly good to do this, if those who are responsible for distributing charity are not trustworthy.

[4] A lesser level of charity than this is when one does not know to whom one gives, but the poor person does know his benefactor. The greatest sages used to tie coins into their robes and throw them behind their backs, and the poor would come up and pick the coins out of their robes, so that they would not be ashamed.

[5] A lesser level than this is when one gives to the poor person directly into his hand, but gives before being asked.

[6] A lesser level than this is when one gives to the poor person after being asked.

[7] A lesser level than this is when one gives inadequately, but gives gladly and with a smile.

[8] A lesser level than this is when one gives unwillingly.

(Credit to Chabad.org)

I found this taxonomy fascinating. It makes one consider the levels of the heart of the giver. While this was written centuries ago to a Jewish audience, it holds many valuable considerations which challenge our reasons and methods of charity.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see that giving is good for the soul of the giver, and that both donor and recipient are blessed in the process, Amen

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.                                                                                          Colossians 3:15

I spoke with a client recently who has been feeling somewhat downcast, partly due to some prolonged grief, and partly to some “empty nest” syndrome. Nothing approaching major depression, but disconcerting feelings, nonetheless. She is experiencing loss at several levels.

We discussed this sense of loss as part of our life as human beings- an existential phenomenon. We are all experiencing loss in some ways. We are losing parents, friends, co-workers etc. to death as they grow older. We are experiencing loss of routine as our lives change and evolve- kids grow up, we retire, we have physical losses, etc. We are losing some physical capacity also- we don’t hear as well or see as well as we used to. We have joint pain and some minor losses of mobility as we age. In short, we are experiencing loss. It is part of the human condition.

When we think about our losses, we tend to be thinking of a past that no longer exists. How do we stay in the present, enjoying the moment that we are in? I suggested to this client that we develop a gratitude list of things that we are experiencing in the moment. We get up in the morning and we are grateful for the fact that we can live another day. We are grateful for a warm bed, a shower to clean and refresh us, clothes to wear, that cup of coffee, food, a car to drive to work, for work…

You get the picture. We take account of the things that we often take for granted. Things that are actual blessings that others in the world may not enjoy. Such gratitude keeps us in the present, and not looking back to things we had and lost, (or things we are now losing).

I suggested to this client that she actually begin writing those things down. This exercise helps to focus us on things right before us, and it keeps us in the present more and in the past less.

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for all the blessings that we see, and even those that we don’t, Amen

When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.  When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.  Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was                                            Job 2:11-13

I was speaking recently with a client about the value of presence. You know, just being there. Our presence with others in their time of need is powerful. The words we say are likely much less important than we might think.

I gave the example of Job’s friends, who came to minister to him in his time of trouble. We are familiar with the legendary Job, who endured much suffering. The story of his caring friends is instructive. When they heard about Job’s troubles, they planned together to comfort him. Indeed, they were distraught when they saw his suffering. They sat with him for seven days, and they were a comfort to him. Their presence, their planning to come together just to be with him, was reassuring and caring. They need not say a word.

So, we should never underestimate the value of being there for people. We have all experienced the comfort of the presence of friends at a funeral, when no words can convey our sorrow. A simple presence, a hug, an “I love you” will suffice when words cannot.

Prayer: Lord, help us to remember the value of our simple presence with others, Amen

 

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!    Mark 9:24

Sometimes we make definitive statements which are too black and white. Sometimes, in order to try to understand the world, we break things into “either/or” categories. That often is too simplistic. Life is nuanced, and there are simply areas of life that cannot be broken into such clear categories.

An example I see is in the area of “certainty”. Living in a certain amount of ambiguity is uncomfortable. We want an answer. In our faith journey, we often want simple yes or no, black or white answers. Yet, I think there are plenty of things which do not lend themselves to easy answers.

Having faith does not mean that we have no doubts. I would argue, that without doubt, there is no need for faith. If everything is simply a matter of blind faith, we leave no room for the discomfort of doubt, the challenge of doubt, that can actually strengthen our faith. I believe that our faith can stand the scrutiny of sincere questioning.

In an earlier post, I made this statement relative to prayer: “We all have doubt, I take that as a given. However, it confirms our faith each time we pray. It affirms our faith, however shaky it may be. Faith, even as small as the mustard seed, is shown when we open our mouth to utter His name.”

The principle here is that we act on faith, even if we are not fully on board. No faith is perfect, but whatever faith we do have must be exercised to become real. It is a counseling principle that we “Do, then feel”- meaning, if we do good and right behaviors, we will begin to feel better. We cannot wait to feel better to start acting better.

So, you have doubt, I have doubt. Let’s not let that get in the way of exercising that small faith that we do have. “I believe, help my unbelief”

Prayer: Thank you Father for giving us the mind to have doubt. Thank you for the grace to give us such space. Thank you for the gift of faith and the room for doubt. Amen

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8 (KJV)

I hope this reaffirms our faith in the goodness of simple everyday kindness all around us…

The police officer who pays for groceries for a vagrant instead of arresting him. The minimum wage clerk at McDonalds who pays the bill for a customer who forgot her wallet. The first person in line at a Starbucks drive-thru who pays for the person’s order behind him, setting off a chain of events of people paying for the person behind them. The teacher who buys school supplies for her students who cannot afford them. The truck driver who stops to change a flat tire for a stranded motorist. The line of people at the blood bank giving life-saving plasma or other blood products. The volunteers who go to California to help fight forest fires. The outpouring of support after a natural disaster.

Should I go on? Not enough room in the blog. These events happen EVERY DAY. There are actually too many instances of giving and sacrifice to be documented here. These events typically do not make headlines. Maybe because they are too commonplace and we take them for granted. Maybe they do not fit the narrative of sensationalism that our news cycle craves. Whatever the reason, we must not lose sight of this aspect of our human character.

It is important to celebrate these little daily exercises of goodwill and humanity. Take heart my dear readers, goodwill and kindness abound, it just gets shut out of the headlines. Keep up your silent and important everyday deeds that help your fellow traveler on this earth.

That is what we need to keep in mind to stay focused on what our country, indeed every country needs. These things are what makes America great. Let’s not let that knowledge slip into the background too far.

Prayer: Lord, you have created us to live in community and to bear one another’s burdens. Help us to remember that wonderful aspect of your creation, Amen

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.                                                                                                                  I John 4:7

Just the other day, I was thinking about the connections we make throughout our life. Like the connections I have with people from Singapore, and China, Sweden, Ireland (and so many others), as well as my friends in North Bergen, New Jersey- none of whom I have met yet!

Yesterday, I was able to renew some connections with people from my home church- Ginghamsburg Church. Our former pastor, Mike Slaughter, came back from retirement to deliver the message. Many people who had attended Ginghamsburg years ago returned to see Mike, and there was a spirit of joy and love present.   

I spoke with a friend whom we have known for over 30 years (fortunately, there are a number of them!), and we agreed that we are, to use a golf term, “on the back nine”. Truth be told, we might be making the turn on 18, but let’s not dwell there! We reminded one another that we must take every opportunity to tell one another that we love each other. We don’t have forever, at least here on this planet.

So, tell your connections that you love them. Now is the time!

Prayer: Lord, what a blessing friends are, especially those that have endured over decades, Amen

II Kings chapter 5

There is an interesting story in the book of II Kings chapter 5 telling the story of a man named Naaman. Naaman was a commander in the army of the king of Aram. It is worth the read of the entire chapter to get the lessons that can be gained in the passage.

A lesson to be learned for me was how the hubris of Naaman, was extinguished. Naaman expected, that because he was the leader of a powerful army, he would be dealt with accordingly. After being instructed to visit the king of Israel (who by the way was completely freaked out by this), he was finally directed to the prophet Elisha.

He expected that the prophet Elisha would come to greet him, then simply extend his healing arm to cure Naaman’s leprosy. When he was told to simply bathe himself seven times in the Jordan River, Naaman was insulted. “Why, there are better rivers in Damascus!” he reasoned. Bathing in the dirty Jordan was beneath him!

Lucky for Naaman, he seemed to be open to the wisdom of others, for he finally bathed in the Jordan, and he was healed. Later, he understood that Elisha represented the true God, and he submitted to such authority. Naaman even begged to pay for the cure, but Elisha indicated that there was no need for that. Naaman then asked for forgiveness for his future act of worshipping the gods in the temple of Rimmon. Elisha seemed to understand and sent Naaman on his way.

Later, when Elisha’s servant, Gehazi, tried to profit off the healing, Elisha turned the tables on Gehazi, and Gehazi was struck with leprosy.

There are a lot of takeaways from this story. One, of course, is the hubris of Naaman, which was later redeemed. In this short chapter we see themes of faith, lack of faith, conversion, forgiveness, greed punished, humility, and entitlement. I also saw how Naaman’s servants seemed to really care for him, an unexpected takeaway for me, but a welcome one.

So, my friends, enjoy this story. A lot to be learned in a small space!

Blessings!