While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” And immediately the leprosy left him Luke 5:12-13

I am always struck by how Jesus dealt with this leper who asked for healing. Jesus touched him. If there was ever a forbidden act in those times, it was to touch a leper. I think in that very act, Jesus not only healed the man of leprosy, he healed the man’s shame and isolation.                              

Human touch can be healing.

I was speaking with a client the other day about the long-term effects of maternal bonding and affection. Rather, I was pointing out that the lack of such primary nurture and cuddling can lead to failure to bond, and long-term effects such as feelings rejection and abandonment.

The classic study done in this area was that of Harry Harlow, who used macaques for some of his studies. The baby macaques were separated from their mother, and the mother was replaced by either a wire framework that resembled an adult macaque mother, or one with cloth that gave warmth and comfort to the touch. The babies gravitated to the “cloth mothers”, searching for reassurance and affection. The babies deprived of the “cloth mothers” grew up isolated socially, and unsure of their place in the framework of the macaque community.

The Harlow studies were controversial due to later questions of ethics in that the treatment of the animals could be considered cruel and inhumane. Some other studies of Harlow were also somewhat dubious in their approaches, but some valuable information was gleaned from the studies.

The need for touch and warmth at the earliest possible time in life is essential for attachment and proper development of affection. It is interesting that recently a Japanese baby macaque named “Punch” has made the news. He had been rejected by his mother. He was given a cloth doll macaque, and he carried it around as his only “friend”, after having been rejected by his troop. It was a sad and poignant story, which recently seemed to end well as he recently was reunited with a “mother” member of the troop, and he got his first real hug.

 We learn very quickly that we need loving touch to survive in this world. We learn, even before we have language, or brain capacities that are cognitively aware of our surroundings, that human touch is essential. It gives security in a world that is completely unknown. The earliest sensations of warmth and cuddling are critical in our development.

Let’s not diminish the need for physical touch and affirmation as we grow. While some people need such affirmation more than others, all of us need the grounding and anchoring, and indeed the validation that we physically need one another’s touch.

So, if you are a “hugger”, get your daily hug from your loved ones. It is good for you and them!

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the gift of healing, even in a loving touch, Amen

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver                                     Proverbs 25:11

Sometimes when I talk with clients, I ask them “What gives you Oxygen?” The idea, of course, is “what energizes you, gives you extra reason to persevere, drives you to be your best?” When they have considered that, we discuss ways to increase that “Oxygen” for them.

Then I might ask, “What gives your partner/spouse Oxygen?” Sometimes the client knows what gives their partner such a boost, but they may feel too depleted themselves to offer such Oxygen to their partner. Or, they may feel hurt by their partner, and they knowingly, or unknowingly, withhold that life-giving thing.  

We all need Oxygen, literally, to live. Yet we also need that emotional or spiritual Oxygen too. Consider what your Oxygen is, and what that might be for those around you whom you love.

Prayer: Lord, help us to understand what life-giving things we can give to ourselves, and to those around us Amen

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken. We are perplexed because we don’t know why things happen as they do, but we don’t give up and quit                II Corinthians 4:8

I took this picture while on a walk in a state park. It struck me because it showed the tenacity of life. This tree was fighting for life in a near impossible situation. It is literally growing sideways on this hill because there was no other place to grow. It is now competing for the sunlight it needs to survive, and somehow, it is surviving.

I have written in the past about growing where we are planted. Sometimes, we can grow even if we were not planted correctly. I think of people who have managed to deal with disabilities and adversities that I could not imagine surviving, much less thriving. But with tenacity and determination, people can overcome so many incredible things.

So, my friends, whatever you have been dealt, there is a way, somehow, to overcome. It may not look the same as the life of other people, but you can find a way.

Prayer: Lord, help us to never give up, and find a way to overcome adversity and prosper, Amen

And so, dear brothers, I plead with you to give your bodies to God. Let them be a living sacrifice, holy—the kind he can accept. When you think of what he has done for you, is this too much to ask?  Romans 12:1 (Living Bible)

This is a post I make every February 22. I think we should be intentional in honoring heroes, so here is my tribute…

Today is February 22^nd. Almost everybody remembers it as the birthday of a celebrated hero. I remember it as the birthday of two heroes, both born on February 22, but separated by 179 years. That other, less celebrated hero, was my mother, born February 22, 1911. Both of these heroes freely sacrificed for others, and both endured hardships in those acts of service. George Washington has been celebrated worldwide, especially of course in America.

My mother, on the other hand, lived a quiet life, bearing four children, and grieving the loss of a miscarriage. She did not come from wealth, and she had to work early in life, even working days and going to “night school” to complete her high school diploma. My dad owned a bakery in the Clifton Heights area of Cincinnati (near UC and where he grew up), and mom worked in the bakery with him to help make the business survive.  

Mom had a deep faith, and she made sure that her kids did too. We all knew the expectations that mom had for us, and we had better (and we did) live up to them. There was no question about those expectations- regular attendance at Mass, Catholic education through college, good grades, hard work, and regular disciplines to maintain physical and spiritual health.

Mom took in her mother after grandma suffered a debilitating stroke in 1959, and mom cared for her until grandma died, in our house, in 1967.  Mom did not complain, nor did she let others know of all the sacrifices she made for her family. Mom’s selfless lifestyle was visible, but not expressed to others by her very much.

She lived a quiet, but powerful life- one that honored her God and her family. She is one of the heroes born on February 22, and now you know about the hero less celebrated, but the one more beloved.

Prayer: Lord thank you for the sacrifice of those who lay down their lives in the service of others, Amen.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens                     Ecclesiastes 3:1

Just a quick observation today. I was recently watching a commercial that featured Kareem Abdul Jabar (whom I originally knew as Lew Alcindor), and he looked old. That is because Kareem Abdul Jabar is old. He is advertising a product that fits my demographic.  Yes, apparently, I am old too.

It does not seem like that long ago that Lew Alcindor broke onto the national scene at UCLA under coach John Wooden, and his freshman team beat the defending national champion upperclassmen Bruins. In those days, freshmen were not eligible to play varsity. Had Alcindor been allowed to play, UCLA would have won the national championship his freshman year.

Alcindor literally changed the game of college basketball. Because of his dominance, dunking the basketball was disallowed for several years- just to level the playing field due to his talent. Later, Alcindor led UCLA to national titles, and later, as Kareem Abdul Jabar, he had earned several NBA championships.

But now, he is an old man, like me. The memories are great, but reality remains. Another generation takes over. I don’t really, in some ways, see myself as old, but when I am in meetings and some other social gatherings, I am the oldest guy in the room.

Funny how we see ourselves just a bit differently than reality, right?

Prayer: Lord, you have been so good to allow us to see seasons of change over our lifetime, Amen

When the listening crowd saw what Paul had done, they shouted (in their local dialect, of course), “These men are gods in human bodies!”  They decided that Barnabas was the Greek god Jupiter, and that Paul, because he was the chief speaker, was Mercury!  The local priest of the Temple of Jupiter, located on the outskirts of the city, brought them cartloads of flowers and prepared to sacrifice oxen to them at the city gates before the crowds.

 But when Barnabas and Paul saw what was happening, they ripped at their clothing in dismay and ran out among the people, shouting, “Men! What are you doing? We are merely human beings like yourselves! We have come to bring you the Good News that you are invited to turn from the worship of these foolish things and to pray instead to the living God, who made heaven and earth and sea and everything in them.                                                                                                                                                                                   Acts 14:11-15 (Living Bible)

The problem with idols is that they keep letting us down. We have a need, it seems, to place people on a pedestal, then gradually, or sometimes abruptly, those idols begin to show their weaknesses. We have a need for heroic actions, and indeed, there are many, many heroes among us. Often, heroic acts are unseen or are not noted, and those heroes do not get the adulation they might deserve. Other heroic figures, our very public figures, are praised and even idolized. Statues are made, poems are written, portraits made, etc. It seems that we have a need to find these figures and recognize them.

Then, over time, we see the flaws in character. We see the failures, the duplicity, the mistakes, the compromise. We may judge, from a historical perspective, that they were flawed people, and not deserving of that statue. Truly, if only perfect people got statues, we would have no statues.

We have our “Mt. Rushmore” of heroes from all walks of life. Sports shows sometimes ask, “Name your Mt. Rushmore of baseball”, or basketball, or whatever sport. People are challenged to name the top four or five in their sport who deserve a place on the “Mt. Rushmore” of that sport.

The original Mt. Rushmore has four distinguished Presidents- Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt. These men are venerated on the side of a mountain for heaven’s sake, and highly praiseworthy all, yet all had character defects.

So, we need perspective on our “idols”. Let’s remember that every idol has flaws. That just makes them human.

Prayer: You have made us in your image, and worthy of respect, all of us. Help us when we do not show respect to all your creation, Amen.

“Come to me, all who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest…”                    Matthew 11:28

Okay, now that is a weird title! However, there is truth to it- for birds and for humans as well. When birds are stressed, they often start preening their feathers, since this provides for them a constant repetitive movement that has an almost mesmerizing effect. It also releases endorphins, which help to calm the bird.

Indeed, preening is essential for birds -it is essential feather maintenance. It provides important oils for the feathers, and the beak movements clean dirt from them, as well as ridding feathers of nasty lice which are infection carriers.  

When we are stressed, we often engage in repetitive behaviors which provide us calm and security. Some people twirl their hair, some drum their fingers, some rock back and forth. Truly, there are dozens of behaviors which can provide some level of relief during stress. Many times, we are unaware of those movements because they have become so ingrained in us. Sharp poker players often look for the “tell” of a stressed opponent to get a competitive edge.

The point is, we often engage in little behaviors that reduce our stress, at least to a small degree. The adage action absorbs anxiety is true. When we are stressed or anxious, we naturally find a way to engage in an action that will help relieve that stress. Becoming aware of the things that are stress relievers is important. It is also important to understand that some of those stress relievers can become habits that are unwanted. Nail biting, hair twirling, skin picking, etc. to name a few, can cause actual bodily harm if overused.

So, just become aware of the things that you do when stressed. Often, those behaviors are innocuous, but sometimes, they can be indicators of a need for more help to deal with stress and anxiety.

Intentional prayer is an excellent behavior that calls out to the One who created us and therefore knows us best. Knowing that God loves us and cares for us is incredibly calming and reassuring!

Prayer: Lord, you have given us many ways to relieve stress, and we are grateful for your provision and care, Amen

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will                                                        Romans 12:1-2

On Ash Wednesday, of course, many Christians will go to a church service where ashes are imposed on their forehead. In Old Testament times, when people mourned or were in a state of repentance and humility, they often wore “sackcloth and ashes”. That appearance was a reflection of an inward condition. Wearing ashes and sackcloth let others know that one was experiencing some inner reflection, even turmoil.

Wearing ashes in public after Ash Wednesday service makes a statement. Others will be able to see this outward sign of personal devotion or submission. They will see that the wearer has decided to make public their inner faith.

In the times of Jesus, the Pharisees (a subset of Jewish adherents) often were very public in making it known that they had been fasting. They would make their faces pale with chalk or other whitening agents to give the impression of suffering. Their need for external approval was the exact opposite of the intent of fasting.

Only we as individuals know our own heart and our intentions in this preparation for Easter. Ash Wednesday is a good start for this preparation. May this Lent be a time of renewal and honest assessment of our own condition.

Prayer: Lord, renew us in this Lenten season, Amen

 When Moses sent them to explore Canaan, he told them, “Go through the Negev and then into the mountain region.  See what the land is like and whether the people living there are strong or weak, few or many.  Is the land they live in good or bad? Do their cities have walls around them or not?  Is the soil rich or poor? Does the land have trees or not? Do your best to bring back some fruit from the land.”                                                           Numbers 13:17-20

Moses sent scouts into the territory ahead of them to determine what the Israelites might be facing upon entering the land that had been promised to them. I think that he needed to know what he was up against before entering the land, however, this scouting mission was not to determine whether they were to move into the promised land. That decision had already been made and promised. Moses was just being a cautious and prudent leader, I think.

The scouts reported “giants in the land” and spread fear among the Israelites. Their negative worldview, their anxiety, was spread among a frightened people, and it resulted in a delayed inheritance.

Anxiety will do that. It can rob us of joy and success because it works on primal fears. Fear can stop us from attempting things of which we are very capable. But once it gets into our head, we can be in trouble.

We have heard stories this week of very capable, even world class athletes in the Olympics whose anxieties deprived them of great feats. Please understand, I cannot imagine the pressures these young athletes face, and I am by no means blaming them. But these are examples of opportunities lost due to self-defeating anxiety, which besets us all at various times.

Recognizing the role of anxiety is a first step in overcoming it. That is a difficult task, but we can be assured that God has given us the tools we need to defeat the anxieties we face.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see you when we are facing things bigger than ourselves, Amen

 Word Origin: First recorded in 1570–80; from Greek katastrophḗ “an overturning,” from katastréphein “to overturn”;

 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God?  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them                                                                                                            Genesis 50:19-21

Well, that is quite the word to discuss! In looking into the root meaning of words, we can find richness and depth of meaning. Today I look at the word catastrophe. I think we can all understand what a catastrophe is. Each of us, in our own way, has at one time encountered an event(s) that we would consider catastrophic.

Typically, we would define a catastrophe as a sudden, perhaps violent upheaval in our lives. Indeed, the word means “an overturning”. A catastrophe overturns the things we are used to, and it changes everything immediately. Sometimes it changes things dramatically, possibly forever.  

So, anything that changes what we are used to, or causes us to lose something or someone precious, can be a catastrophe. Yes, a catastrophe can cause that sudden upheaval, but it can also cause us to respond in a resilient way that can eventually be used for a good purpose. Anytime there is a sudden change, especially one we did not choose or anticipate, it is a shock to our system. However, once that shock is absorbed, we can learn, grow, adapt, and use it for good purpose.

It often takes time and support to weather such things, but in the long run, a catastrophe can become an entrance to a new start that may hold untold benefits that would never have been known without it.  

Prayer: Lord, I pray that the events that we see as catastrophic, can also bring new life and positive changes, Amen