Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.                                                                                                                       Psalm 51:6

I have displayed below an excerpt from a client’s journal- his “book” he calls it. I had asked him to write out what is going on in his head- things that have troubled him for years. He writes with a depth and honesty that only one who has suffered pain and suffering can get in touch with.  

The writing has helped him to begin to heal. He writes about depression, about suicidal thoughts, about loneliness and self-hate. He also writes about his growing self-awareness and self-care. He has come to see that he is a strong person, not the weak young man that others derided in their own immaturity. He is on the road to healing because he had the courage to look inside of himself. I am so proud of him, and I tell him so.

Looking inside and committing it to writing is a powerful healing process. I am so glad he undertook that process. He has asked me to share parts of his journal to make sure that others can see that healing can happen. I do this to honor him, and in the hopes that others may find healing in similar ways.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the strength to look inward in an honest way, Amen

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.                                                                                                                                     Psalm 139:13-14

What are the odds of being born? I mean, all of us reading this blog have indeed been born and we are alive, but what were the odds of that happening? Depending on how you parse the math, and considering the odds of that one little sperm finding that fertile egg, and the further odds of how your parents even got together, and how the thousands of generations past had to work out just right for us to come along- well, you get the picture. Maybe the odds are one in 400 trillion. Likely, we cannot even measure the odds.

All this to say, the gift of just being alive is an absolute long shot! You, my friend, are a miracle. When I consider the gift of life, I am blown away. Yes, life can be very difficult and painful at times. But consider the alternative. Your life is an absolute miracle. You are not an accident. Your mind and body are a marvel that cannot be duplicated. The spirit that gave you life was breathed into you through those who came before, and the Creator who planned it all.   

So, just a thought for today. Consider the incredible gift of life that you have and cherish it.

Prayer: Lord, you have produced amazing miracles, including our very life. We are grateful! Amen 

Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect                                                     Romans 12:2

Have you grown in your faith over the years? I hope so. Do you think about your faith the way you did several (or many) years ago? I suspect not. That is O.K. We are curious people, growing physically (well not in the ways we might like!), spiritually, emotionally, socially. We change, and that is good.

We are forced to look regularly at our faith, and how it guides us through changes in our life. Yes, there are some basics that we hold fast onto. We may not change so much what we believe, but we may change the way we talk about our beliefs.

As I have gotten older, for example, I have recognized that my idea of “certainty” has changed. I am more open to seeing that there are many ways to look at how God deals with his creation. My limited understanding does not limit God and how he has organized the universe. As science gives us new insights into the world, it does not weaken my faith- it strengthens it.  As I look at the history of Christendom, I see the flaws that sapped the vigor from the bold witness that the Church could have given to a needy world.

Yes, we evolve in our thinking, but we hold fast onto basic truths. God loves us, created us to love and trust him, and to love others.

The Good News!

Prayer: Lord, help us to embrace change as we cling to the basics of your love, Amen

“Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”                                                                                                                                                         Jeremiah 29:7

This passage from the book of Jeremiah has always intrigued me. The context is that God is speaking to and through the prophet Jeremiah, who is crushed in spirit about being carried away from his beloved Jerusalem. Jeremiah and the captive Israelites were lamenting that they were no longer in the Promised Land, and that they were now cut off from their destiny.

God gives Jeremiah a new plan. Really, I am thinking it was the plan all along. Jeremiah was to tell the captive Israelites that they were to plant gardens in Babylon. They were to marry and have children. They were to participate in the economy of this pagan Babylon and to help make it prosper. I’m sure that this was hard for Jeremiah to hear, and then to relate to his people, about participating in the hated Babylonian society and economy.

I think that message was also for the Church today. It was a cornerstone of my philosophy at New Creation Counseling Center. Christian organizations ought to be an integral part of society, helping in every way possible to enhance the physical, social, economic and spiritual health of where we are planted.

The history of the Church involvement through the centuries has been to start schools, hospitals, and benevolent organizations to help people in every walk of life- especially carrying out the mission Jesus set forth to help the poor and disenfranchised.

So, we grow where we are planted, and as our city prospers, so do we.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for this simple plan- to grow where we are planted, Amen

“What were the things that drew you to your spouse when you first met, or when you were in your early dating years?” This is a somewhat common question that I ask couples who I am seeing in counseling. I ask it for several reasons. First, I want to get them in touch with characteristics that are likely still present in their partner, but they have been overlooked due to stresses of marriage or living together over the years.

Next, I want the partners to share those things with one another, because they may not have been saying affirming things to one another for a long time. Finally, I want to explore the idea that the very things that drew them to one another are also the very things that can drive each other crazy now.

As I have said before, our strengths, our good qualities, if not managed well, can become weaknesses. I ask the partners to remember that there were very good reasons that they came together in the first place. Perhaps at this moment in their relationship, they have lost sight of those things.

It is a good exercise that we can all benefit from. It changes the lens a bit about how we currently see our partner/spouse, and how we used to see them.

Prayer: Lord, help us to continue to see our partners through a positive lens, Amen

A right time for birth and another for death, A right time to plant and another to reap, A right time to kill and another to heal, A right time to destroy and another to construct, A right time to cry and another to laugh, A right time to lament and another to cheer, A right time to make love and another to abstain, A right time to embrace and another to part, A right time to search and another to count your losses, A right time to hold on and another to let go, A right time to rip out and another to mend, A right time to shut up and another to speak up, A right time to love and another to hate, A right time to wage war and another to make peace.                                                                                                       Ecclesiastes 3:2-8 (The Message)

I spoke with a client recently who has experienced a series of losses in the past couple of years. She has lost both parents, and now she is experiencing “empty nest” with her kids moving out of the house for college and careers.

I talked with her about grieving losses, and not just death, but any type of loss. As she is getting through the grieving, I talked with her about those losses, and the need to start looking at adding some things in her life. The losses are real and painful, and we must acknowledge them. At the same time, we need to start, at some point, looking for things to add into our life. These additions are not “replacements.” They are attempts to grow into a new season.  

I talked with her about looking into some learning opportunities as well as some safe outreaches into new social settings. The challenge is to look for some new things to stimulate us. We are made to be curious and we look for stimulation. When we have a loss, there needs to be a new infilling- a healthy addition into our lives.

These things are not replacements, they are new opportunities to grow.

Prayer: Lord, help us to find the rhythm of loss and addition that keeps us healthy, Amen

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.  Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:1-2

I am currently reading a book titled Theo of Golden. It is a best seller, and I can see why. It is very well written, and it has a compelling character, Theo, who is a breath of fresh air. I have not completed the book yet, and indeed, some of my readers have likely read the book, so don’t tell me the ending!

What I have seen in Theo is the power of listening. I have also seen in him the ability to see the very best in the people whom he encounters. He becomes a wonderful encourager and affirmer of others. He also takes great joy in helping those people whom he has met in the small town of Golden.  

Theo reminds me a bit of the lead character in my historical novels about the adventures of Joseph Shepherd. I wrote Shepherd’s character to be one whom readers could not easily place- was he just a man ahead of his time? Perhaps he was a heaven-sent angel? Maybe he was even Jesus come in another age in our history?

In either case, both characters are examples of the best of human behavior.  You will have to read Joseph Shepherd, a Story of Travelers, and the sequel, Joseph Shepherd, the Adventure Continues in order to determine who Shepherd really is. As for Theo, I have not yet finished, but I am enjoying him a great deal.

The lesson for all of us is this- be a Theo or a Joseph Shepherd!

Prayer: Lord, help us to be those people who make the world that much better for us having been here, Amen 

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,                                                                                                                                                                                    Hebrews 12:1

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.                                                                         II Timothy 4:7

Just the other day I was thinking about my resume, and it dawned on me that, at my stage in life, a resume no longer serves me. It is the epitaph that now looms larger in importance. Now, I do not want to appear maudlin or melancholy here. I am perfectly fine discussing this idea, and it does not cause me any sadness. It merely is that stage of life where we are looking more backward than forward. My epitaph will actually contain my resume. However, we cannot lose sight of the fact that we must look forward!

All this to say, I need no resume for employment any more. Though we stop working for a living, we never stop our work. We have our calling and our abilities, and we must continue to use those abilities to serve out that calling. I believe that there is truth to the saying that “if you don’t use it, you lose it”. This is certainly true of our physical bodies, and I think it is true of other skills or conditions as well, whether emotional, mental or spiritual.

Paul talked about our need to “run our race”. I think that race lasts our whole lifetime.

I am thankful for that.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for giving us our calling, and the will to play it out for our whole life, Amen

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver                                                        Proverbs 25:11

I was just listening to a podcast while walking today. The podcaster interviewed a social science researcher about “little kindnesses”. She remarked that while on a plane trip with her daughter, they were very tight in their schedule for a connecting flight. They needed to exit the plane quickly, get to their gate, and pray that they had made it in time. I am guessing that at one time or another, we all have been in that situation.

She noted that she and her daughter pushed ahead of other rows in the plane’s aisle, begging forgiveness of those in seats ahead of them, explaining the situation. Almost all were very accommodating and let them pass. But one older gentleman ahead of them would have none of it. He reminded them that “people wait their turn for those in rows ahead of them”. He did not let them pass.

This of course was infuriating for the woman relating the story. Then she talked it out with her podcast guest, and he told her of the research which indicates that we tend to remember the incidences of discourtesy or a sense of injustice dealt by others much more than the series of kindnesses we experience.

He pointed out the research of John Gottman, a noted authority on marriage counseling and restoration. Gottman indicates it may take about five acts of kindness and active positive interactions in order to overcome the effects of one or two rude or insensitive interactions.   

When we are dealing with strangers- store clerks, people on planes, phone operators, etc. small acts of kindness are very powerful. It might be one of those five or so that they need to overcome one of those insensitive interactions from others.

During this Christmas season, I am especially keeping that in mind.  

Prayer: Lord, keep us in mind of those little things that are big helps, Amen

 “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Matthew 14:12-14

Jesus used various opportunities to teach his disciples. Once, on the way to a party of a prominent Pharisee, he chose to heal a man on the Sabbath. This was just the warm-up for future paradoxical teachings that day.

Upon arriving at the house of the Pharisee, he noted that people were jostling for position at the head tables. He told his disciples to pick the lower, less prominent seats. In that way, they could be asked to move up to the front. If they chose a front seat, they risked the embarrassment of being asked to move down in the social pecking order.

Finally, he told his host, When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid.  But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

His message? Don’t follow usual social conventions. He was saying that his world view flew in the face of the world’s expectations. This is the concept of “contra mundum”. That is, going against the conventions of the world system.

We as Christians are always being asked to determine our values in light of how Jesus sees the world, not popular conventions. So, care for the poor and marginalized is a value that Jesus holds. We need to decide how that drives our own value system.

Prayer: Lord, help us to follow your road less travelled, Amen