Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things         Philippians 4:8

We have been surrounded by news and social media clips that tend to take us to a negative place. One of our pastors spoke Sunday about the cynicism that has become the mood of our age. Indeed, just thinking about the changes in political mood over my lifetime, we have gone from an era of political trust to one of distrust. Yet, that is not my point today, although it informs this blog.

Over the past several weeks my wife and I have been settling down in the evening to watch a series that was originally aired on PBS years ago. The show is titled Call the Midwife. The series is set in London starting in 1957. The award-winning series is now in its 16^th season, a testament to its staying power and the depth and beauty of the writing and acting.

The show is an oasis in a world of stringent and often toxic media productions. The simple spiritual values presented, the wholesome relationships developed, and the generally optimistic tenor are a welcome balm in these days of doomscrolling. One leaves the show feeling refreshed and encouraged.

So, my friends, if you are so inclined, take a look at this simple yet profound piece of programming. I think you will be glad that you did.  

Prayer: We seek joy and calm in the midst of turmoil, and we can find that it is right among us if we look, Amen

This is a lookback to a June blog from several years ago. It reminds us that ordinary things can become special…

Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.

Proverbs 17:6 (KJV)

This day in history is, to my understanding, nothing special. However, it became special to me when I found an old church bulletin from St. Bonaventure Church from that date. You see, on the other side of this church bulletin, my dad had kept the box score from the game that day between the Boston Bees (now the Atlanta Braves) and the Cincinnati Reds. In his own hand, he captured the action that day between two teams that played at old Crosley Field in Cincinnati.

I had heard him talk about Ernie Lombardi, Ival Goodman, Lew Riggs, Kiki Cuyler, and Alex Kampouris, but here they came to life because my dad had kept score. The Reds lost that day 8-3. Just another in the long line of games that go on daily in baseball. But this one is captured for all time. I framed that somewhat messy, pencil smeared box score, and it will stay in my office as long as I can keep it.

Just another day, another in a long succession of baseball games, is now a cherished keepsake because my dad decided to capture it that day. Why he kept it, I do not know. Was he at the game? Did he score it while listening to the game on radio? I am sure that I will never know. I do know that this is a piece of him that was dear to him, and therefore, it is dear to me.

Maybe it was just another lazy summer day. Maybe it was special to him.

I know it is special to me.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for giving me parents who loved me and cared for me so well, Amen

I thank my God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy…                                                                                                                                     Philippians 1:3-4

So, dear friends, just a quick word to you on this last day of May. June is coming up tomorrow, and I have to tell you, it is my favorite month. Yes, my birthday is this month, and that is part of it. June contains the summer solstice- the longest and lightest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. So, in anticipation of that large amount of light this month, think about your own light. By that I mean, recognize the things that you do, the little things, that are the good decisions of the day.

I suggest to my clients that they reflect at the end of the day on a few of the good decisions they made that day. It could be anything- exercise, a good diet habit, a friendly call on a neighbor, etc.  I call it Intentional Positive Self-Talk (IPST for short).

So, as we prepare for more light this coming month, shed some positive light on yourself!

Blessings…

One more thing- I see you Belgium, Hong Kong, Singapore, North Bergen, and Ireland. Keep coming back! 😊

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the light that you give us, Amen

This is a post from the past, but its message is timeless. Please enjoy it again…

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus…                                        Philippians 2:5

My cousin recently sent me a short video from Rabbi Shais Taub. Taub does work in addiction recovery and has a following in both Jewish and Christian communities. Rabbi Taub explains in this short video that there are two types of people- thermometer people and thermostat people.

He goes on to explain that thermometers measure the temperature in the room. They merely reflect what the present environment is. Thermostats, on the other hand set the temperature of the room. They influence their environment, and are not merely recipients of the atmosphere- they set it.

So it is with attitude. We can be thermostats and be responsible for setting the attitude we want, or we can feel subject to reflecting the present attitudes around us. Given the current unrest and irritability of the culture at this time, we have a choice as to how we want to respond. Do we want to set a tone of love and acceptance, or will we be overrun by the anger and mistrust we often find around us?

Prayer: Lord, help us to set a tone of peace and love wherever we go, Amen

Today I share with my readers a poem sent to me by a client who has struggled with depression for many years. I think hearing directly from someone who has dealt with significant depression is important for all of us. I share this too because it speaks of his courage, and willingness to do the hard things- things that are monumentally difficult for one whose motivation has been sapped by major depression.

During the course of treatment, I had suggested to this client that he volunteer at a nearby nursing home, visiting people who have no others to talk with them. The idea, I stated, is that feeling follows doing.  Doing good things is followed by feeling good. One cannot wait to feel good in order to do good.  

To his credit, he told me that right after our session, he promised himself that he would make that phone call to the nursing home. He did it.

Soon after, he called the social worker, found out the steps he needed to do, and he visited the nursing home. By the next counseling session, he said that he had felt a change in his mood. He had gotten some momentum, and for a number of weeks, his work at recovery has continued and grown.

I don’t mean to oversimplify the work in overcoming depression. This client continues to take his medication, and he works other daily routines to keep himself active and positive.

His work remains. Every day he is trying some new things, pushing himself toward a more stable and elevated mood. I am so happy for him.

Here is that final stanza which is so powerful:                                                                                          

So don’t let depression 

Make you give up on life

You can get better

It’s well worth the strife

Now, the full poem:

My Depression Recovery

Some said I was going through a season

And I know they meant well

But when it comes to depression

That season’s called hell

It doesn’t feel like you’re on fire

Actually you’re just barely lit

Everyday so dark

It’s hard not to quit

But don’t give up

Continue to fight

A smoldering ember

Can again burn bright

Reach out for help

Look for it everywhere 

You just need a spark

It’s somewhere out there 

Getting out of depression 

Is no easy climb

For me it took hard work

And a good amount of time

So don’t let depression 

Make you give up on life

You can get better

It’s well worth the strife

Verb: (used without object)

to feel, show, or express grief, sorrow, or regret.

to mourn deeply.

Noun:

an expression of grief or sorrow.

a formal expression of sorrow or mourning, especially in verse or song; an elegy or dirge.                                                                                                       

(Dictionary.com)

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge                                  Psalm 62:8

There are situations in our personal life, and in world events where the only response we have is “lament”. This word is either a noun or a verb, depending on the usage and intent. We can actively lament something e.g., mourning, or have deep regret, for example. We can also be in a “state of lament” and perhaps in that state, express it, as the definition suggests, in a formal way.

Either way, it is important to become aware of this lament and own it. As I have stated before, some emotions come out in ways that are not good indicators of the true feelings inside. For example, fear may come out looking like anger. Sadness may come out as sullenness or withdrawal, and so on.

There are numerous instances in the Bible where people like David, and Jeremiah, Amos, and many others described their state of lament. They cried out to God for various situations wherein they saw themselves as helpless, and in the pain of mourning or deep sadness.

Getting in touch with our state of lament is healthy and important. Often, world situations such as the misery and violence in Gaza and Israel, the horrific invasion of Ukraine, mass shootings, dire poverty, and natural disasters cry out for lament. Personal tragedies such as a devastating illness also can bring us to a state of lament.

Lament does not necessarily mean “helpless”, but it is a recognition of the current suffering we face. That recognition may help us to share it with others, and get the help and support we need at the time.

So, we come to realize that lament is part of life, and that we are not alone in it.

Prayer: Lord, you have designed a crucial plan where you are our refuge in times of trouble, Amen

Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,  and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all.  For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.                                     Mark 10:43-45

I was recently talking with a client about leadership at her workplace. I talked with her about positional leadership versus influential leadership. Positional leadership usually entails a place of power and authority. People follow because they are required to do so.

This is not necessarily a bad thing since there needs to be a sense of order and trust in the organization. Indeed, many positional leaders are very competent, have high values, and are admired. However, if a person in a place of positional leadership does not have solid values, to which they personally adhere, their authority is questioned, challenged, or disdained altogether.

A person with influential leadership abilities may or may not have a position of authority, but they are followed by those who observe their words and actions. People who follow their own high standards and values are seen to be people of integrity, and people will follow them.

I have heard the statement, “If a person cannot lead themself, they cannot lead others”. The meaning of this is that leaders must have personal discipline, self-awareness, and the best interest of the group placed before their own self-interest.

So, just a very quick study on types of leadership.

Jesus was the prime example of servant leadership. He had no position of authority. He was a trusted rabbi who lived and taught that the best leaders give of themselves for those whom they lead.  

Prayer: Father, thank you for the model of Jesus as servant leader whom we can trust, Amen

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.                                Proverbs 16:24

So, on days that we are greeted with angry social media clatter, even from our officials elected to high offices, we take comfort in the words and actions of people like Steve Hartman. We need to be reminded, more than ever, that uplifting words and actions, directed toward people who are in great need of that, is still happening. Steve Hartman is the CBS contributor who has been doing his Kindness 101 segments for several years. He recently won an Emmy Award for his work in the feature All the Empty Rooms, a piece about children who have been killed in school shootings.

Steve Hartman finds peace and solace by sharing it with others. You may find his work on the CBS Evening News, but also on YouTube and many other media outlets. I urge my readers to check him out if you have not already. It will bless you.

So here is my paean to Steve Hartman:

Steve, you have spent much of your life uplifting others, I salute your work and your heart. May God continue to richly bless you!

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.                                                Philippians 2:3-4

“Patriotism is not just short, frenzied bursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steadied dedication of a lifetime.”                                                                                                                                                                                          Adlai Stevenson

“The willingness of America’s veterans to sacrifice for our country has earned them our lasting gratitude.”                                                                                                                                                                Jeff Miller

“I have long believed that sacrifice is the pinnacle of patriotism.”                                                               Bob Riley

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends                                               John 15:13

The quotes above speak for themselves regarding the cost of patriotism and love for others. We who have never had the privilege of wearing a uniform to serve out country serve her by living sacrificially for the principles of freedom, honor, and service to others. We know that there cannot be love without sacrifice. Christians hold that Jesus was the ultimate lover of humanity as he gave his life to pay for the sins of humankind.

Our military veterans paid the price of love by sacrificing their bodies for the defense of their country. Many paid the ultimate price for that service.  All of us who love our country can serve her by the “tranquil and steadied dedication of a lifetime” as Adlai Stevenson stated.

On this Memorial Day, as we celebrate the sacrifice of our veterans, let us rededicate ourselves to serve our country by serving one another, taking the needs of others into primary account as we strive to make our country strong and healthy. As Alexis de Tocqueville was quoted as saying, “America is great because America is good”. Whether or not he actually said that, I believe that it is true. Let us make sure that we try to live into that quote.

Prayer: Lord, give us the strength to serve others as you served us through Jesus, Amen

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” Robin Williams

People don’t fake depression, they fake being okay. Remember that, be kind…                  Robin Williams

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones                            Proverbs 16:24

May is mental health month. This month has been set aside since 1949 to bring awareness to the importance of maintaining good mental health principles in our daily life. I have been in the field of mental health since 1973, when I began the journey at Dayton Mental Health Center. At that time there were over 900 patients housed and treated at that facility.

I moved into the burgeoning field of community mental health in 1975, and I have worked in various aspects of the field since then, including outpatient work, inpatient work, partial hospitalization, administration and, for the past 30 years, incorporating faith into an integrative approach to healing and recovery.

Mental health is healthcare. We are three-part beings, totally integrated as physical, spiritual, and emotional people.  When one aspect of this trio is upset, the other two invariably suffer in some way. One cannot treat a single aspect of health without dealing with the other aspects of our make-up. That is why I appreciate and endorse holistic care, which includes physical evaluation, emotional support, and attention to our faith life in order for us to have full health.

Many people suffer silently with mental health needs because they are often misunderstood. Indeed, many suffering people cannot easily articulate the level of pain or discomfort they feel. The quote above is from the beloved Robin Williams, a gentle soul who suffered from depression, but masked it in entertaining the world for a generation.

His word at the end of one of his quotes was simple yet profound.

Remember that, be kind…

Prayer: Lord, help us to see when we, and others need help, Amen