As a father has compassion on his children,
    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
 for he knows how we are formed,
    he remembers that we are dust                                                                                                               Psalm 103:13-15

I was recently interviewed by church staff for a Father’s Day video piece for our upcoming Sunday service. The idea that came to my mind was the concept of being a husband. Yes, not all husbands are fathers, but the concept holds true.

The word husband is defined as “a married man considered in relation to his wife”. The other meaning, the word husbandry, is more general. That one says “using resources wisely, economically”. Similar words used to describe “husband” are: conserve, preserve, save, safeguard, etc.”

I think that a father is one who sets an atmosphere of safety. He provides protection, and an opportunity for safe growth for his children. He becomes the “greenhouse” for protected growth for the young plants (children) under his care.

I like the idea of being that safe and nurturing place for my children. Yes, they are now mature adults themselves and are now launching their own children. However, fathers are always fathers, and they care for their children now matter how old they are.

I concluded the video with the thought, “If my kids are happy, I’m happy”.

Yep, that about sums it up.  

Prayer: Lord, what a blessing you have given to me of being a father! Amen

As a father has compassion on his children,
    so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
 for he knows how we are formed,
    he remembers that we are dust                                                                                                              Psalm 103:13-15

I was recently interviewed by church staff for a Father’s Day video piece for our upcoming Sunday service. The idea that came to my mind was the concept of being a husband. Yes, not all husbands are fathers, but the concept holds true.

The word husband is defined as “a married man considered in relation to his wife”. The other meaning, the word husbandry, is more general. That one says “using resources wisely, economically”. Similar words used to describe “husband” are: conserve, preserve, save, safeguard, etc.”

I think that a father is one who sets an atmosphere of safety. He provides protection, and an opportunity for safe growth for his children. He becomes the “greenhouse” for protected growth for the young plants (children) under his care.

I like the idea of being that safe and nurturing place for my children. Yes, they are now mature adults themselves and are now launching their own children. However, fathers are always fathers, and they care for their children now matter how old they are.

I concluded the video with the thought, “If my kids are happy, I’m happy”.

Yep, that about sums it up.  

Prayer: Lord, what a blessing you have given to me of being a father! Amen

“Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come                                                                  Psalm 71:18

I am writing today about elders. No, not the elderly, but elders. Elderly is a term I avoid since I became, well, elderly. So, I will use the term elder, as a nod to my former pastor, Mike Slaughter, who told those of us of a certain age that we had become “tribal elders”. I like that, so I am sticking to it. I am an elder. Indeed, this is also a term for certain church leaders, but I am not a clergy person, so I am an elder with a small “e”.

That being said, here is a quiz to determine if you might be an elder:

Question 1. Have you ever had a meaningful conversation with someone who went to school in the 19^th century?

Question 2. Have you ever picked up a rotary phone and heard neighborhood women talking on the party line? If you ask “what is a party line?”, you likely are not an elder.

Question 3. Do you remember watching Edward R. Murrow do an interview on CBS television?

Question 4. Can you remember watching Little Richard playing the piano like his hair was on fire?    

Question 5. Did you have your tonsils removed in a hospital, and then stay overnight?

These are just a few of hundreds of questions that may, if you answered any in the affirmative, qualify you as an elder.  

Yes, just having fun with age, of course, but being an elder means that you must enter that life period with a sense of humor. Getting older, as they say, is not for the faint of heart.  While we are losing some physical and even mental functions, we have gained wisdom and perspective.

So, my friends, if you qualify as an elder, wear it proudly, and grow old with grace and wisdom to be shared with those behind us.

Prayer: Lord, you have given to many of us the gift of extended life. Help us to use it to your glory, and the benefit of those whom we serve, Amen  

Since I am heading off to a baseball game at this writing, I am bringing back a classic from the past for your enjoyment (I hope!)

 Baseball is a game best enjoyed by fathers and sons together. Indeed, that is how the game has thrived for over 140 years- passed down from fathers to sons. My dad taught me to love the game from about age 6. I remember his rapt attention to the radio when he listened to Waite Hoyt and Jack Moran describe the 1956 pennant race. The Reds had not been good for many years, but that particular summer, they were in the pennant race until the last week of the season. My dad taught me to get excited about baseball, and the Cincinnati Reds in particular.

He related to me that as a young boy, he could get into Crosley Field free if he were accompanied by another paying customer. So, all the young boys would tag along after men who were walking through the gate, and they were able to get in free. That concept, unfortunately, has been lost on the present generation of short-sighted baseball owners who see only present financial gains, and do not have the vision for the long-term stability for the game.

As I began teaching my son about baseball, it was apparent to me that the teaching was not just about the fundamentals of the game. It is about life experience. The player who makes a diving catch at the end of the year in a meaningless game is practicing the value of doing one’s best regardless of the outcome.

The player who is cut from the team learns that he has two options- go out (or go to the minor league) and play hard, get better, and get back on the big team- or feel sorry for himself, blame the manager for his poor decision, become resentful and quit.

Injuries, losses, bad umpiring decisions, etc. are part of the game, and the young ballplayer learns how to face adversity. He will learn that unfairness in life will happen, but the game will endure. Quitting is not an option.

There is no timekeeping in baseball, so you are not playing against the clock. If you are losing the game, the only thing that will limit the possibility of a comeback is the skill of the other team, or the lack of production by the team playing from behind..

Baseball is a great vehicle for communication between fathers and sons. As we know, men talk better, usually, side-to-side than face-to-face. There is a lot of communication (and teaching) going on as dad throws the ball to his son in the batting cage, or simply “has a toss” with him. A quick glance at the “Field of Dreams” movie will make that very clear.

Dad tries to stretch his son just beyond his current skills in an effort to improve him. The wise dad will use encouragement rather than screaming and shaming to produce growth in the young ballplayer. And so it goes. The time spent together is the stuff of later memories.-memories which will be shared by the sons with their sons.

Baseball then has become a medium for conveying the love of father to son by the analogy of the love of baseball. If it works out the way it should, the son will grow to love baseball, but more importantly, he will know that dad loves him.

Have two goals: wisdom—that is, knowing and doing right—and common sense. Don’t let them slip away,                                                                                                                                        Proverbs 3:21 (Living Bible)

I was recently reading about Abraham Wald, a Jewish scientist from Hungary who had been  expelled from Nazi Europe in World War II. As we have seen often, when political thinking gets involved in science, foolish decisions are often made. Indeed, Wald played a part in helping to defeat Nazi Germany with his mathematical prowess and brilliant logic. The irony, played out more than once in World War II, is that brilliant scientists expelled from Nazi Germany because of their Jewish heritage, helped to defeat that same evil power.

Wald was tasked to solve the problem of finding the most vulnerable parts of Allied bombers so that more armor could be added to protect planes and crews. The placement of armor had to be strategic, since armor was heavy, and planes needed to be as light as possible.

Wald was given access to information about where returning bombers had sustained the most enemy damage during their bombing runs. He saw where most of the damage occurred, and he surprisingly suggested that armor be placed mostly in the areas where the most damage had not been sustained.  

He explained that they were studying planes whose damage, while at times extensive, had allowed them to return safely. The planes which were hit in the areas other than these spots had not been able to return home. The concept he formulated was “survivorship bias”, meaning that all factors needed to be included in the analysis, not just the damage to the surviving aircraft. The planes that had not survived also needed to be in the equation.

I found the solution to be fascinating, and at the same time, almost obvious- an idea that we might easily overlook. We often have unknown biases when we study problems. Wald had the insight and logic to utilize this concept to save many bomber crews.

What appears to be clear to us, can also be missed because of hidden bias. Information that we do not consider might be the most important things in the equation.

Prayer: Thank you for the gifts that you give to us, especially the ones we do not see, Amen

Just as there are many parts to our bodies, so it is with Christ’s body. We are all parts of it, and it takes every one of us to make it complete, for we each have different work to do. So we belong to each other, and each needs all the others.                                                                                                                                            Romans 12:4-5

On our trip to Italy a few years ago, we visited the beautiful cities of Florence, Siena, and Rome. Each one of those ancient cities is saturated with art, done by some of the most brilliant artists the world has ever produced.

The Piazza del Campo in Siena is a huge area, and it is the home of a famous horse race, the Palio di Siena, which pits each of the seventeen contrade (neighborhoods, but more than that really) of the city against one another. Actually, there is a lottery to pick ten of the seventeen contrade to participate in the race. Each contrade has its own flag, its own traditions, and there is a great rivalry about the race.  It is run twice each summer, coinciding with feast days which honor the Madonna of Provenzanzo, and the feast of the Assumption of Mary. The event has been going on annually for a shade over four centuries, so there has been time to build up some rivalry.

While we were in the area near the Piazza one day, we heard loud singing. It was joyful and hearty. I had to check it out. Upon turning a corner in a small alley (there are only thousands of them in Siena it seems), I saw a group of young men standing on tables, drinking wine straight from the bottle, and celebrating some type of event. Maybe it was a bachelor party, or maybe a college fraternity. Maybe they were simply celebrating that it was Tuesday- who knows. The point was that they were exuberant in their expression. Besides that, they sang in unison, on tune, and at the top of their lungs.

I loved it.

The free expression of emotion seems to be an enduring trait in Italy. Uninhibited singing, expressive hand gestures, a gusto for life. Those are some of the things I appreciated on our trip. The art was spectacular, the ancient Roman technology was unsurpassed, but the people were just fascinating.

Traveling gives us perspective on other cultures. We learn to appreciate differences, and celebrate those differences. That sounds like a good idea, whether we travel five thousand miles, or five blocks.  

Prayer: Lord you have made us in your image, yet so different in expressions of it. Help us to appreciate the differences, Amen

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.             Psalm 139:14

If you are reading this blog, and you obviously are, you are a miracle. Just by being born, you overcame, by no effort of your own, staggering odds that were stacked against your existence. According to research cited in Atlantic magazine, “each human female has about 300,000 eggs during the fertile period of her life. Each male ejaculation has about 300 million sperm. Thus, each conception contains about a hundred thousand billion different possible combinations of DNA”. The fact that you were conceived indicates that you are a statistical miracle. You and I are unique, and incredibly favored. Actually, we are lucky to be alive.

So, miracles are both rare and incredibly common. How is that for a paradox?! Indeed, existence on this earth is an amazing phenomenon. Assuming, as I do, that the plan for life that God has set forth is not just random chance, we are indeed, fearfully and wonderfully made. We are made for a purpose.

I read a quote that states “Gratitude without action is empty” (Alan Lightman, in the Atlantic article cited above). I like this quote. It means that having been given the incredible gift of life, we are bound to make it meaningful.

So, my dear readers, you are one in more than a million! How are you going to display your gratitude for such a gift?

Prayer: Lord, what an amazing gift of life that you have given to us. Help us to redeem it wisely, Amen  

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend                                                                                     Proverbs 27:17

I saw a client recently, and I gave her a homework challenge which she said would be difficult. As we discussed the homework, she agreed that it was something that needed to happen at some point. The question was not IF the behavior would need to be tried out, it was a matter of WHEN. She agreed that this was true, and we laughed as she said, “I know you are right, but this is going to be difficult for me!”

I then said to her, “Well, you know my job is not to make you comfortable, my job is to help you heal and grow.”  She agreed, and we further discussed the homework options. She will do them, and she will do them when she is ready. I felt that I needed to challenge her with the reality of the situation. I told her that sometimes counselors deliberately “turn up the heat” to be the reality checks they need. Like anything else, I reminded her, what we put off, we usually have to pay with interest!

This client has grown a lot, and she agreed that she was reluctant to start counseling because it was an unknown process and therefore was a bit intimidating. Yet, just a few months into counseling, she is surprising herself with healthy behaviors, and a “voice” that she did not have before.

So, like I said, my job is often not to make people comfortable where they are, but to challenge them to do things they did not think possible.

I have a pretty cool job.

Prayer: Lord, help us to challenge one another for good, Amen

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?                                                            Matthew 6:26

As I sit writing this blog entry, I am listening to the songs of birds. That is a pleasant experience all by itself. It is even more encouraging that, while I listen to those birds, my blood pressure is likely a bit lower, my cortisol levels have dropped, and my mood is just that much better. How do I know that? Well, it is a personal experience, but it is also backed by several studies, which show the beneficial effect of listening to birds’ songs.

Yes, walking in nature, listening to birds’ songs, is a significant way to elevate mood, lower anxiety, and promote a sense of well-being. The walking in the sunlight part is just added benefit in keeping blood sugar levels in check, enhancing blood flow, and strengthening lung capacity.

As regular readers know, I am prescriptive to my clients about regular exercise. Now we add the benefit of walking outdoors and listening to the sounds of bird songs, which has been clinically proven to have beneficial effects on mental health.

So, even if you are not physically able to do the walk, try to be in a place where you can hear the birds sing.

It is good for body and soul.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us healing in so many places in your Creation, Amen.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born, I set you apart…                                                                                                       Jeremiah 1:5

There is a saying that goes – “fish don’t know that they are in water”. Well, that is true for several reasons, one being that fish are not sentient. But the impact of this saying can also be true for human beings. We are living in a life, a type of environment, that is all that we know. Indeed, we can take for granted the most important and incredible gift that one could possibly have. We are alive!

The gift of life is so precious that we often do not stop to think of how amazingly blessed we are. Yes, that life can be difficult, sometimes very difficult. Yet what an amazing opportunity we have had, and continue to have, in this world.

Just a quick pause to lift up gratitude for the very fact of life is good for our very soul.

Prayer: Lord, we are thankful for the amazing gift of life that you have given to us, Amen