The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility     Proverbs 15:33

I suppose it is obvious that the closer we get to the mirror, the more we can see our blemishes or imperfections. The better the light near the mirror, the better we can see those imperfections.  Yikes!

The metaphor here is that as we get closer to the light, and we are willing to see ourselves clearly in the mirror, the more we will see our imperfections. Not just physical defects, but character defects as well. No, we do not like to take that close a look very often, but it is a necessary function for emotionally healthy people.

Seeing ourselves in the light means seeing ourselves in the mirror, not another person to whom we compare ourselves in a relative sense. You know, “gosh, I’m not perfect, but compared to that guy, I’m a real saint!” Well, that might be true, but it is not relevant when we are trying to take a clear and honest look at ourselves.

The 4^th step of Alcoholics Anonymous says to Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This is a key step in addiction recovery, but truly, it is a step of moral responsibility for everyone.

So, periodically, get closer to that mirror, make sure the light is good, and take inventory. Most importantly, don’t get into despair. The paradoxical result of a close look at our faults is that we come to understand that it takes humility and courage to do so. The more we exercise courage and humility, and the more we see truth, the better we feel about ourselves. We can accept our shortcomings, work on resolutions as best we can, and take heart that we are on a journey of integrity!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for helping us to see ourselves in light of your love, Amen.

O Lord, hear my plea for justice. Listen to my cry for help. Pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from honest lips     Psalm 17:1

I was recently speaking to a client about dealing with panic attacks. As we discussed behaviors that she could consider in her “anxiety tool kit” that we were developing, she mentioned that when she was a young girl, her grandmother would often take her into a church. When in church, she would light votive candles and pray for another person who might need prayer at that time.

We talked about how she could employ that strategy now in her own home. She takes a votive candle and lights it when she is feeling a panic attack building. She then begins to pray for someone who could use prayer at the time. She does not necessarily pray for herself, but does intercessory prayer for someone else.

I think this strategy is great for several reasons. First, it brings back pleasant and soothing memories from her childhood, which has a calming effect. Second, she performs an action – lighting the candle- which is a visible, sensory action. Finally, she is praying for someone else, taking attention away from her own worries and trying to help another person. In so doing, she is redeeming a negative, her panic attack, into a positive action for another person.  

We need to be innovative in ways that we deal with anxiety and stress, and this client has found a powerful and effective way to deal with hers.

Prayer: Thank you, Lord for the plan to intercede for one another, and thereby helping ourselves as well. Amen

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?                                                        Matthew 6:27

I often tell my clients that I have both good news and bad news for them regarding their anxiety. The bad news is that anxiety is not simply going to vanish away. Anxiety is a part of the human condition. Some people have a little, some people have a lot, everybody has some.

The good news is that, while anxiety will not simply vanish from their life, they can learn ways to manage it. They will have the tools, and therefore the control that is a necessary component of dealing with anxiety.

Having control is a crucial need for people who struggle with anxiety. Control is not a bad thing. We all want to control as much as we can around us. Control can give us comfort, predictability, and reassurance in times of uncertainty. Trying to control other people or situations, however, can be a bad thing, because we only have control over of our own feelings, attitudes, and behaviors.

So, anxiety will not simply vanish away. Clients can be disheartened to hear that statement until I tell them that the good news is, learning how to control anxiety is the key thing. It is not a matter of if anxiety will creep up, it is a matter of when it will. When it does appear, they can have the confidence that there is something that they can DO about it. Worry about upcoming worries means that we are always vigilant for those anxious moments. In other words, we can start to worry about worrying. Having what I call the “anxiety tool kit”, becomes a source of confidence, and yes, control. They are then not victims of anxiety, they can become masters of it in their life.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to see that you have given us what we need to face life’s troubles, Amen

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed                                                   II Corinthians 4:8-9

His name is Rocky. Some of my readers may recall a story I wrote a week or so ago when I wrote about a plucky squirrel who injured himself in my back yard after an unfortunate fall from the bird feeder he was raiding. I was just watching him drag himself forward to the field of sunflower seeds that have fallen from my bird feeder. It now is likely his only source of food. He cannot climb trees now- I watched him try and fail a few days ago. He has found solace in cover under tree in my yard, and just a few yards from that, he goes to a thicket that leads to a drainage ditch that supplies him with water.

He is named Rocky because of two venerable “Rockys” that came to mind- Rocky the squirrel from Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon fame, and the tenacious Rocky Balboa, aka Sylvester Stallone. My little guy Rocky is every bit as plucky and clever as Rocket J. Squirrel from Rocky and Bullwinkle, and he is every bit as tenacious as Rocky Balboa.   

Watching Rocky gives me renewed hope every time I see him. I root for him immensely, and I try to guard the treacherous 40 or 50 yards he must traverse from his hiding areas to the food supply. If I see the feral cat, or the hunting mama hawk that roams near the yard, I will chase them off.

Rocky is making the best of a difficult situation. He has learned to move by using his three good legs, and kind of hurling himself forward to get from one place to another. He has actually improved in his locomotion, and I hope he can possibly heal. So far, he is making the best of it.

I have encountered many people over the years who have made heroic efforts in managing to live with significant challenges. On our difficult days, we simply need to recall those who struggle every day. That gives us the perspective we need to practice the virtues of gratitude and empathy. 

Prayer: Lord, bless those who are struggling in managing life’s difficulties at this time, Amen

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
    slow to anger, abounding in love.
 He will not always accuse,
    nor will he harbor his anger forever;
 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
    or repay us according to our iniquities.
 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us                                                                                       Psalm 103:8-12

Today is the start of a new month- September. September feels like a fresh start month. School has just begun for the younger set, football season is just starting, and while the temperatures are still very hot around my area, there are a few trees showing signs of starting their rest cycle. Of course, as they do that, they are dropping seeds and leaves that become part of a new growth cycle. New starts all of them.

September is indeed the start of meteorological Fall. So, as we start a fresh new season, what are the things that you would like to start anew? We can take any starting point and renew our efforts at anything. Is it exercise? Better eating habits? Better sleep hygiene? Less screen time? More intentional time with those you love?

The good news is we can choose whatever we want and get a new start on it if we give ourselves permission to do so. God has given us a clean slate of forgiveness, and we need to remind ourselves of that each day.

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for your unfailing forgiveness, Amen

You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.                                            II Timothy 2:22

I recently had a discussion with a client about the need to reinvent ourself as we go on in our career. I am at the point in my career that I can look back a lot and reflect. Yet, just looking back at the “old days” would not be a very helpful exercise if I did not use it to pass on to others some things I have learned along my journey. Sharing wisdom and experiences gained over our lifetime is not only a privilege, it is a responsibility.

I tell my clients sometimes that we need to spend most of our time looking through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. Looking back through that mirror is helpful, even necessary at times, but if we spend a majority of our time looking backwards, we will be in trouble. We won’t be able to see what is in front of us.

As we age, we need to keep looking forward- to continue reinventing ourselves to remain relevant and viable. We do have much to share with our younger brothers and sisters, but in order to do that, we need to stay current, and engaged with the culture.

Yes, there is a tendency- I have a tendency- to look back wistfully at the past. It is a nice thing to do once in a while, and it is often comforting. But we must remember that we still have a future, no matter what our age, and we owe it to those following us to give as much guidance and direction as we can.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the plan to pass on to others the things we have learned from our journey, Amen

“Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time  – Jim Rohn

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. ..

From Ecclesiastes 3

How many hours do you spend on your phone each day? No, don’t tell me, but just be aware yourself of how many hours a day you devote to screen time. I get that report on my iPhone every Sunday morning. Sometimes I am really shocked at the amount of time I spend scrolling on social media.

We as a society are spending way more time in front of screens than we are say, reading books. What is this doing to our general well-being? Are we truly better informed, or are we just getting the feeds that algorithms have set before us?

When we choose books or articles to read, we ourselves are curating the content that we want to consume. Hopefully, we choose a wide variety of reading material- current events, fiction, non-fiction, history, specialty information for our careers and interests, etc.

Management of our precious time allotment on earth is so vital.

As we all know, it is pretty easy to get sucked into a reading environment that has been curated for us by some social media giant’s algorithm. Let us just be sure we are in charge of our own reading habits.

Prayer: Lord, help us to use the time that you have given to us wisely, Amen

You will know the truth and the truth will make you free.”                                                                           John 8:32

I was reading a book about football recently, and the topic of CTE’s came up. CTE stands for Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. This is a type of injury that is all-too common for football players, especially professional football players. A recent study of autopsies performed on deceased professional football players indicated that 25% of the players studied had signs of CTE.

That is a shocking number. CTE’s have been associated with erratic behavior, depression, violence and suicidal tendencies. Former professional football players have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Dosease, and early onset dementia in a much higher percentage than the general population. In short, it seems that the odds of serious brain injury are wildly escalated for former professional football players.

This made me think of the process of denial. Essentially, denial works in us to make us think, “yes, it can happen, but it won’t happen to me”. The same principal holds for smokers. For many decades, people knew that smoking was associated with lung cancer, heart disease, and a host of other chronic degenerative diseases. Yet, smokers, addicted to nicotine, rationalized their behavior in a similar way. They would say things like, “I don’t smoke as much as some people, so I’m OK”; or “yes there is a risk, but I can avoid it”. Some might simply say things like, “Well, you have to die of something…”

We all use denial at times, which is a way of protecting us from fearful things in our life. The underlying defense seems to boil down to, “If I don’t think about it, it will go away”. This is akin to little children who may believe that if they cover their eyes, they can become invisible.

This is not an indictment of people, it is simply an understanding that we all have some defense postures that are not logical, but are somehow comforting. We all fall into this thinking at times in various ways. My point here is that looking seriously at our denial type thinking is important. We need to face truths that may be uncomfortable, but in the long run, hard as it is, it can prolong our life.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to look clearly at our lives to be at our best, Amen.

Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer                                                                                                                                            Psalm 94:19 (Living Bible)

One of the homework assignments I often give to clients is a self-awareness exercise. I ask them to spare just a few minutes during the day, and take control of their breathing (4 seconds in through the nose, hold for about 6 seconds, and breathe out slowly through the mouth for about 8 seconds). Then, having done that a few times until they feel relaxed, to ask themselves, “what am I feeling right now?”

This may take some practice for people who have not really taken time to consider their inner selves. We are so used to paying attention to the noise around us that we can lose sight of our inner being. Often, we have become used to the outer self- the face that we project to others.

This honest appraisal of our inner being is important. We need to become honest with our emotions. So often, we mislabel those feelings, and fear comes out behaviorally disguised as anger, or sadness come out as social isolation.

It is difficult to really come to grips with those inner emotions, because, once we recognize them, we become responsible to deal with them honestly. We can no longer project those feelings onto other around us and blame them for what is going on with us.

I have seen so many of my brave clients actually go through this process and grow. It is hard work, but it is worth it.

Prayer: Lord, give us the courage to look inside ourselves honestly, Amen

Guard well the splendid, God-given ability you received as a gift from the Holy Spirit who lives within you                                                                                                                                                         II Timothy 1:14

I have a fair number of clients whose anxiety has been exacerbated by the political turmoil that we find around us in the United States. Many clients talk about the fear spurred by the erosion of trust in our institutions, and the sense of powerlessness that they feel. Whereas in the past the political parties were able to disagree, but could still work on compromise to deal with national problems, current politicians find no common ground nor even the willingness to compromise.  

Indeed, many people feel fear and worry with no way to effect action that gives them a sense of satisfaction. As I have discussed, the antidote to anxiety is behavior- action of some type. What actions can people take other than to contact their representatives or senators? By all means, try that, but even then, many feel unheard in gerrymandered districts. Their voice feels small or altogether absent.

I suggest to clients that they can think very local. What I mean is, take actions that can affect those people closest to you. We all need a sense of purpose and a sense of power. Power is not power over others, but power to help change things for the better. I have suggested that clients volunteer in their own neighborhood to help people who are struggling- perhaps a disabled or elderly person. I have suggested to some, whose love is animals and pets, to help out in animal shelters.  

There are many opportunities to positively affect people who are nearby. We need a sense of purpose and a sense of power to make things better for ourselves and others. So, when the political process seems distant and even untouchable, having done all that we can to register our position, then we need to change the world that is closest to us.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to use what we can to help others and in so doing, to help ourselves.