Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy                                                      Acts 14:17

Yes, ‘tis the season for comfort food! There is a season for comfort food you ask? Yes, I agree, we always like comfort food. It’s well, comfortable. It makes us feel better. We eat those high carbohydrate sugar bombs and we feel better. In fact, after we eat those foods, we are called to eat more of them. Our brain sends the signal that such delights should just keep coming. “Eat that again!” our brains say.

I said “this is the season” because as light becomes more scarce here in the northern hemisphere (you southern hemisphere folks are enjoying the increased hours of sunlight I’m guessing), one of our natural sources of serotonin is diminished- sunshine.

Another source of that serotonin is carbohydrates. Those carbs are precursors of serotonin, and our body is craving more serotonin as light becomes a little less available to us. The phenomenon, of course is called Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D). We somewhat unconsciously seem to crave more carbohydrates as the amount of available light in our environment diminishes. This coincides nicely with the American holiday cycle of Thanksgiving and Christmas, where eating becomes a national pastime. That season, my friends, is upon us.

So, my word today is this. Just be aware of your food responses to the season. Yes, enjoy holiday festivities. Life is short! Just also be aware that eating is not the only way to deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Be intentional about getting whatever light you can by being outdoors. Yes, it’s cold, so bundle up and try to get some outdoor exercise.

Your body will thank you come March.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us our daily bread, and we are grateful. Give us wisdom in how we proceed with your gifts, Amen

Since you have been chosen by God who has given you this new kind of life, and because of his deep love and concern for you, you should practice tenderhearted mercy and kindness to others                        Colossians 3:12

 I was talking with a couple in a counseling session a few weeks ago, and the husband mentioned that when the couple ordered pizza for the family, his wife sometimes really didn’t consider his request for the kind of pizza they would order. She would order what the kids had asked for, but sometimes didn’t include him in what he would like. She may have assumed that she knew what he liked, or perhaps she thought that he didn’t care enough to speak up, so she just made a decision.  

A little thing to be sure. But he took it as another reminder that she wasn’t considering his needs or wants. Indeed, with this couple, there had been an emotional disconnect that is far more than about pizza. We talked about this situation, and it gave us the opportunity to discuss those issues that were underneath the little pizza situation.

Studies show that when couples practice simple kindness to one another- just showing courtesy and polite behavior- that behavior goes a very long way in increasing couple satisfaction. Yes, people can take each other for granted, and we all are guilty at one time or another of doing that, but those small kindnesses become big things over time. Practicing politeness and courtesy to one another seems like a little thing. But remember, “it’s not about the pizza”.

Prayer: Lord, keep us always mindful of those whom we hold dear so that we can display that love regularly, Amen

I remember my first New Year of the change of a decade. It was the end of the 1950’s – December 31, 1959. We had great anticipation for 1960. Lots of hype about “Go like 60!” That was even a slogan for some advertisers. There was a hamburger place in Cincinnati called the “Sixty Second Shop” and they too tagged on to the new decade with the jingle. The 1960’s were going to be an exciting time! The 1950’s were going to be over.

Little did we know what the 1960’s were really going to be like, but when you were 9, going on 10 years old, it was really very cool time to be alive. There was a Presidential election coming up, and it looked like this young, good-looking fellow named John F. Kennedy, a Catholic Democrat, would be running for the office. My family was totally behind this guy.

Of course, he was elected in November, 1960, and he served until that fateful day- November 22, 1963. That was the real end of the 1950’s.

Much has been written about the historical effects of his assassination, and I can tell you that the impact of that act affected our country in ways we cannot really comprehend or document. It was the end of an innocent age. The 1950’s were the days of post-war America where we defined ourselves as a country. Post-war periods seem to have peculiar effects on countries. The economy, the international worldview, the desire for a new start, all combined to define an era that cannot ever be recaptured- only looked at wistfully.

The day that John F. Kennedy was slain, people of a certain age can tell you exactly what they were doing when they heard the news. They can tell you what they were feeling, what they were thinking, and how their lives were changed. Everything changed. The world was no longer the safe predictable place we had grown up in. Yes, the Cold War had been on for years, but Kennedy had helped steer us through the Cuban missile crisis, and life was again safe and predictable. But on November 22, 1963, that all changed. That was the day the 1950’s really ended. It was the end of the “feel good”, carefree era. Technically, the 1950’s ended on December 31, 1959.

 But for many of us, looking back, the 1950’s ended that terrible day in Dallas, Texas, on November 22, 1963.

Your attitude should be the kind that was shown us by Jesus Christ, who, though he was God, did not demand and cling to his rights as God, but laid aside his mighty power and glory, taking the disguise of a slave and becoming like men. And he humbled himself even further, going so far as actually to die a criminal’s death on a cross                                                                                                                               Philippians 2:5-8 (Living Bible)

A discussion with a friend the other day brought up the idea of limits regarding God. When God created us with the ability and freedom to make choices, he put some limits on himself. As an omnipotent God, he can do whatever he pleases to do. He could have created us in whatever way he chose. He could have made it that we could not ever choose evil or to never disobey him. He could have made us into compliant beings who could never reject him or his love.

But he didn’t.

God allows us to make choices, both good and bad- choices which affect us and others in his creation. He gives us the opportunity to love him as he has loved us, or to love ourselves more than him or anyone else. He has given us the gift of free will.

We love our freedom! At the same time, we rail against God and others when things do not fall in line with what we want. That “free will thing” cuts both ways.

God loves us enough to give us our freedom to choose, even if it is not his best plan for us. He wants what is best for us, but we often choose the path of quick relief and pleasure- a path that leads to short cuts and to addictions. Yes, anything that makes us feel good immediately has the potential to be addictive. God gives us the choice, and he wants us to choose the path of the long- haul disciplines, not short cuts to feel good.

So, God gives choices to us, and in doing so, he deliberately limits himself. Indeed, sending Jesus to earth was the ultimate example of limiting his omnipotence for affiliation with his creation.

What a loving concept.

Prayer: It is hard for us to understand the plan of limiting yourself for us. Thank you for showing us that kind of love, Amen

The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

II Timothy 4:18 (NIV)

The Golden Gate Bridge began construction in 1933, with an estimated cost of $35 million dollars. In those days, the estimate was that there would be one construction death per one million dollars spent. Therefore, planners assumed that about 35 men would accidentally die during construction of the bridge.

The builder and designer, Joseph Strauss, decided that this project would not cost the lives of 35 men. He decided to install a safety net underneath the bridge to catch any unfortunate construction worker who may fall. Not only was this a great humanitarian concept, it led to greater efficiency. Workers could now concentrate more on the job of welding, riveting, and all the other tasks of building a bridge. The project came in under budget and ahead of schedule. Eleven men did die during construction- ten in one unfortunate situation where an entire platform fell and the net could not hold that weight. Nineteen other men fell into the net and were saved. Overall, the net indeed saved many lives.

I used this analogy with a client the other day about God’s provision for us. He wants us to feel secure in his love because he has paid the price for our salvation. We don’t need to hang onto our relationship with him- He is holding us!

Prayer: Thank you for the plan to hold us, rather than our meager efforts to hang on to you, Amen.

Instruct the wise and they will be wiser still; teach the righteous and they will add to their learning. Proverbs 9:9

Often when I am talking with clients, we are identifying some new behaviors which I suggest that they try out in order to deal with the concerns they brought to counseling. The problem might be depression, anxiety, relationship problems, social anxiety- whatever. As a believer in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), I think that behavior changes will change our mood and outlook on the world. As I have often said, it is “Do, then feel”.  

When I suggest some particular behavioral change, (and it usually a small, measurable change, nothing gigantic), I walk them through the process. I tell them that there is a learning process with new behaviors with stages that look like this:

Unconscious Incompetence– “I don’t know what I don’t know”

Conscious Incompetence– “I become aware that there is something amiss that I need to work on”

Conscious Competence– “I intentionally work on a new behavior, practicing it, even though it feels new and awkward sometimes”

Unconscious Competence-“Having practiced that new behavior, after a while, it starts to feel quite normal and comfortable.” “I begin to like the changes because they work”

The most uncomfortable stage, for many people is the Conscious Competence stage. They are doing things that they do not yet feel comfortable with, and it takes persistence and patience to keep intentionally doing those new behaviors.

In the stages where the word “Conscious” is involved, there is a place for discomfort. That is perfectly fine, because they are at the stage where they are in active working mode, and it does not feel totally comfortable.

Again, the “doing” part is going to bring on the good “feeling part”. The client is actively working a program which will lead to feeling better.  

This model works for learning most things. Sometimes it helps clients when I can lay out the theory. Hope it is helpful for my readers!

Prayer: Lord, you have made us curious learners. Give us the patience and endurance to move through the hard parts of learning, Amen

Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor. Owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.          Romans 13:7-8

“All gave some, some gave all…”

 Attributed to Korean War veteran Howard William Osterkamp

Today is Veterans Day in the United States. It is the day that we honor those men and women who have served their country in the uniform of one of our armed services. It is a day that we give due honor to all of our veterans, many of whom gave their lives for their country.

It was originally called, and still is in many countries, “Armistice Day”, commemorating November 11, 1918 when hostilities of the First World War ended. Indeed, I remember my parents still called November 11 “Armistice Day” into the 1980’s, even though it was officially changed to “Veterans Day” in 1954.

 I am currently reading a book about World War I, and I am once again struck by the incredible carnage of that terrible war. Millions of young men were killed by shells, bullets, poison gases, and disease during that terrible conflict. In the entire length of the months-long battle of the Somme, over 400,000 soldiers were killed- almost 30,000 on the first day of action. These were the Allied losses of French, British, Russian and British Commonwealth soldiers.  This figure does not even include Central Powers (Germany, Austria-Hungary, Bulgaria, Ottoman Empire, Bulgaria) losses. That war was literally a world war, involving most industrialized nations of the world by war’s end.

America entered the war in March 1917, and proportionate to the amount of time the Americans were in the war, the loss of life was high. Over 117,00 soldiers died and over 200,000 were wounded in just 18 months of involvement.

The entire world was shaken, and then reshaped by World War I. Political and national borders were carved out that cause strife until this very day. It was called the “war to end all wars”, and ironically, it set the stage for many future wars.

So, as we remember Veterans Day, we salute all those who have served their country proudly. We are proud of you…

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for the sacrifices of those who have served to protect us, Amen

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.                                                                  Proverbs 4:23

I recently spoke with a client about some of his strengths, including his empathy and self-awareness. As usual, this client did not see these attributes as strengths, but rather as his “Achilles Heel”. As we remember, Achilles was a remarkably gifted mythical warrior whose only vulnerability was his heel. Of course, Achilles was eventually taken down by an arrow to his heel.

I talked with my client about his great gift of sensitivity. I suggested that he needs to preserve this gift by guarding his heart, not hardening it. People with such sensitive spirits can be amazingly helpful and uplifting to others, but they may pay a high price of letting their hearts be vulnerable to being wounded and broken.

The goal is to guard our heart by being aware of tendencies which might cause us to over-identify with others. We need to have good boundaries, but at the same time, maintain an open heart. We must avoid becoming hardened to the pain we experience, thereby potentially becoming bitter, and actually losing that strength that is so important.  

Finding safe places to process what we have experienced emotionally is critical to guarding our heart. We all need safe places to land, and people that we trust, in order to maintain a tender heart which can be of value to others, as well as ourselves.

Prayer: Lord, protect our hearts so that we can be of greater value to others, Amen

Come and see what God has done, his awesome deeds for mankind!                                                                    Psalm 66:5

As I was driving down the highway the other day at about 65 MPH eating a Starbucks pumpkin scone, I thought about how this might be perceived by a traveler from let’s say 1750. I can just hear their incredulous response. “You were eating while traveling 65 miles per hour? How is that possible?” Maybe not the best practice while driving, but that may be a subject for another blog…

What we take for granted, previous generations would see as science fiction. What used to be seen as amazing is now commonplace. On a more spectacular basis, how might that citizen from 1750, or even 1850 think about people routinely traveling into space? Or instant communication between people around the globe? Or advances in health care that have brought previously grievous diseases under control?

This all got me thinking about how we take “amazing” for granted. We have come to expect the next amazing thing, and often we get it. Science and technology almost never cease to amaze us, but we are not amazed, we almost feel entitled.

Maybe it’s just me that thinks that we need to sit back and have some child-like amazement again about this world we live in. In fact, we take the origin of our universe, and the incredible mysteries of nature for granted.

Just remember, we live in a miraculously created universe that we still do not completely understand. But yeah, we take that for granted…

Lord, we are amazed at your universe, as well as the gifts you have given to humankind to make great advances. Forgive us when we simply take it all for granted, Amen

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.                                                                                                                         Psalm 139:13-16

Sitting in church today got me thinking. I know, you’re right, one should be thinking when they are at church. My thoughts ran to our marvelous gift of human senses, and how they are stimulated in church. The worship music of course involves our hearing. The spoken word of the pastor also involves hearing. Truly though, all of our senses are involved in the process of meeting together at church. Even the sense of taste when we share communion together.

The Catholic Church of my youth could not be equaled in how it appealed to not only sight and sound, but smell. Those great lingering smells of incense take one to a different place in the mind- a deep place that is always remembered. The wooden pews in old Catholic churches have soaked up that incense smell over decades (in some cases, centuries), and they render that church a repository of stored memories. Incense is supposed to represent our offerings going up to God, symbolized in the smoke- a sweet smell in God’s nostrils as it were.

In older churches, stained glass windows caused a visual reaction of beauty as well as teaching. The art and sculptured statues also stimulated our visual sense, and the beauty was gratifying- a fitting offering of such talents to God by the artists who created them.

The sense of touch, or rather the relative absence of it due COVID-19 responses, saddens me. When meeting friends, do we shake hands, fist bump, hug, nod from a proper distance? I am by nature a hugger, and there is, naturally, some hesitancy to hug. I also was a big handshaker. I know that this is probably the biggest germ spreader one can indulge in, even in non-COVID days. But old habits are hard to break, especially when you don’t want to break them!

Yes, church affords a wealth of responses from our entire being. That is how it should be, I think.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the gift of our senses. Such incalculable wealth we have! Amen