Here is another of those Christmas essays I wrote, this one at Christmas, 1996. It remains perhaps my favorite reflection about family at Christmas. I was struck by the fact that my “Christmas Future” at the time of that writing is remarkably similar now to my current “Christmas Present”.

Thank you for indulging me with this trip down my memory lane of Christmas celebrations…

As we prepare to celebrate Christmas this year, I decided to look at those celebrations as Charles Dickens did in his classic, A Christmas Carol. We’ll look at past, present, and future celebrations with the idea that Christmas celebration involves tradition as well as change. We rejoice that Christmas will always be celebrated, because the news is so good it must be told over and over again, always the same story, understood better year after year. The things that surround Christmas do not overshadow it, they merely reflect our growing understanding of the treasures in our midst, and that Jesus came to earth to be a part of human life and understanding.

Christmas Past– Christmas eve excitement that could hardly be contained; singing in the choir at Midnight Mass at our church, with all the carols in the most traditional arrangements; relatives streaming into our house on Christmas Day; the thrill of two weeks off school; early experiences with Christmas shopping (“I’ve got exactly one dollar for each person on the list- I bet mom would like this pen!”); putting up the tree and placing the tinsel on the branches just right; watching mom delicately set up our ancient manger scene which my grandpa had handmade- “Did on of the wise men have an arm broken off dad?); growing to understand that giving was really more rewarding that getting; in later years, playing Christmas songs in the Xavier band at basketball games during halftime; the wonderful warmth of friends and family coming to our house on Christmas Day after all those years;

Christmas Present (1996)– Jennie is coming home from college soon, and I can hardly wait; now it’s my son who is thrilled with the two weeks off school (I’m so happy for him, his joy is contagious); Christmas Eve services are just a bit more meaningful each year; giving is now a lot better than receiving; the manger scene has been passed on to my nephew, as ancient and fragile as ever, but alive to another generation; Christmas carols seem so much sweeter, but somehow sadder (“Doesn’t anybody under 30 know the words to these songs?”); aging parents have precious few Christmases left; now the Christmas Day gathering takes place at my sister’s house, still as warm and reassuring as ever;

Christmas Future– Grandchildren coming to our house now, still warm and inviting; that manger scene goes to another generation, still fragile, but somehow stronger than ever; I can’t even remember when getting gifts really mattered that much since the real gifts are those family members and friends who keep coming through that front door; those Christmas Eve services are more meaningful than ever now, because we are the aging parents who have precious few Christmases left, and we know that we are nearer to meeting the Son whose birth we celebrated for all those years.

I am the least important of all God’s people. But God was kind and chose me to tell the Gentiles that because of Christ there are blessings that cannot be measured                                                                              Ephesians 3:8 (Contemporary English Version)

Albert Einstein. Tom Hanks. Simone Biles. John Steinbeck. Michelle Obama. Abraham Lincoln. The apostle Paul.

Do you have anything in common with these people? If you said “self-doubt”, you would be correct. Along with many, many more people, the individuals named above are all self-confessed self-doubters.

Interestingly enough, often people who doubt themselves are highly accomplished people who are introspective and self-aware. Perhaps the very ability to question their own ability is what helps to make them successful. At times, self-doubt can be crippling, and it takes courage to overcome some of the negative self-talk that accompanies such thinking.

I recall plenty of times in my own life where I doubted myself and my ability to handle certain situations. One situation that I used to relate to my supervisees was that when I made the move from working at a chronic care in-patient mental health hospital to community mental health, I felt lost. I was sure that at some point the agency director would find out how incapable I really was and he would invite me to leave!

This story often was helpful to my supervisees, because they usually felt the same way early in the internship. It is part of the process of learning and growing. In fact, I think it might be an essential part of growing. Healthy questioning of self is good and it spurs us to work at learning. We just need to remember that our inner thinking is not the only voice that counts. We need to rely upon others who know us well to get valid input that can balance a sometimes-unbalanced equation.

So, if you have self-doubt at times, I think that by looking at the list at the top of this blog, maybe you can get some reassurance…

Prayer: Lord, you have made us unique and in your image. Help us to remember that such craftmanship is worthy, Amen

I found this essay buried deep in the archives of my writings from years past. It was a summary of a discussion that I had with my (then) teenage daughter some thirty years ago. I hope you enjoy it…

“If there weren’t already a Christmas, the world would need to invent one.” That’s what I said to my daughter the other evening. Interested, she asked me why. I proceeded to tell her that I think people need some time during the year to have permission to do thoughtful, loving things for one another without people seeking an ulterior motive. We need a time when we can turn our hearts toward family gatherings, thoughtful communication with those we haven’t seen in a while, and a reason to reach out and wish good things to other people. We need a time to take a break from usually formal business relationships to infuse them with some warmth.

I have always been fascinated by the way people who usually have no interest in spiritual things take an interest in a high Christian holy day. Our culture has managed to appropriate this day as a “winter holiday” or just “the holidays”, teaming it with New Year’s Day to make a week-long celebration.

Around the Christmas season, we wish each other “peace on earth, goodwill toward men” in a world that has neither. We do this every year, and so far, it has not seemed to work. So, why do we do such things each year at Christmas? Well, it ties in with the idea stated above regarding the “invention” of Christmas.  For some people, Christmas is no more than a manufactured holiday of the marketplace used to sell merchandise, promote a good feeling, and allow people to take a break from the humdrum of life. It is an attempt to bring an artificial peace, and feelings of warmth that aren’t really there. However, unless Christmas joy and meaning is an internal possession year-round, Christmas won’t have much real impact except for a three or four week stretch in early winter.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Christmas season, the warmth, the excitement, etc. I am also not completely cynical about the world’s view of Christmas. I’m glad people can find some hope and joy in this season. I also understand the reasons why people would invent another reason to have such a celebration, even if there were actually no Christmas. The circumstances around the celebration of Christmas can bring some temporary happiness and enjoyment, and that is a good thing.

However, the deeper satisfaction and real peace comes in the understanding of the original, the REAL reason for the celebration of Christmas. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus, whose very coming was meant to bring real peace.

My hope for my dear readers is that you have a truly meaningful and joyous Christmas season, and that it last far beyond the “holiday season” that we set aside every year.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven                                                                                                                                               Luke 6:37

We are all familiar with these types of images. Depending upon how you look at it, you will see either the figure or the background. Sometimes it is hard to get one image out of our mind to be able to see the other possible interpretation. Our brains have a need to identify one image at a time. Once we are open to seeing either image, we can more easily go back and forth, interpreting the image as we decide.

It is hard for us to hold two very different interpretations at the same time. So it is also true with how we identify other people. We are often quick to judge, placing certain people in categories, often without thinking. It takes an intentional decision to look for another way at seeing the image before us- or the people before us.

Our current political and social media atmospheres tend to put us into “either/or” thinking. “You agree with me or your thinking is wrong”. Indeed, some decide that those who do not think similarly are the enemy.

God does not see us that way. While he is the God of justice, he is also the God of mercy. He grieves over our sin, but he sends a redeemer to solve the problem. Seeing the world the way God sees the world does not come naturally to us. His thinking is supernatural, informed by the presence of the Holy Spirit. In order to see the world this way, we need more than our natural thoughts. We need that same Holy Spirit.

We need the wisdom of God, and humility is the only way to come around to this way to see other people.

Prayer: Lord, give us your eyes to see other people, Amen

 A good Joe:

def. a kindly obliging good-hearted person                                                                                                          Merriam-Webster Dictionary

His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.  Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”

 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel”^] (which means “God with us”).

 When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.  But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.                                                                                                         Matthew 1:18-24

During the Christmas season, we read the story of the birth of Jesus, and there is one major character that recedes into the background. Joseph, the betrothed husband of Mary. Joseph, a good father, though not biological father, plays a key role in making this whole plan work out. Joseph hears the plan in a dream, and by his faith which he put into action, enables the whole plan of the birth of Jesus to move forward as it must.

Joseph’s steady faith and obedience allows Jesus to be born safely, and rescued during a later purge planned by Herod. Joseph knows that he is not the star of the show. He has been relegated to be a bit player who gets scant recognition for the success of the venture. Yet because he is a good husband, he provides for his family’s safety and growth without fanfare. He is just a good provider and dad.

In other words, he was a “really good Joe”.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us all parts to play. Some are glamorous, but all are important, Amen

But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”                                                                                                                                                  Exodus 3:11

Feelings of guilt can rob us from fulfilling our potential.

In this passage we see the life of Moses, a gifted man of God who did not really see his gifts. Why not? Why didn’t Moses see his obvious gifts and talents which could be used for God? Well, many of us fail to see in ourselves the gifts with which God has endowed us. We tend to be oblivious to such gifts, sort of saying, “this (our talent) comes pretty easy to me; it can’t be that big a deal; anybody could do this”. This is compounded when we carry around guilt over some past behaviors. Guilt can render us pretty ineffective. Moses had killed an Egyptian in a fit of righteous anger, and he had been caught in the act. I think that this lingered in his mind, making him feel that, having done such an awful thing, God could no longer use him. He seemed to judge himself as unworthy; and even the God of creation could not forgive such an act. Certainly, he felt that he could not be a powerful instrument of God.

Remember Paul? He talked about his “thorn in the flesh”, which, to my way of thinking, was the memory of his past of having killed Christians.  Paul was painfully aware of this past for the rest of his life and continued to call himself “the least of the brethren”, even as he led the church in so many ways later in life.

I think that we often disqualify ourselves from God’s service by our own standards, not using God’s standards of forgiveness and restoration. Remember, whatever sins we have committed, God has allowed grace to “much more abound”. We are more than qualified for service; we are commanded to serve with whatever God has given us to bring forth.

Prayer: Father, thank you for the calling you give to each of us. Remind us that we are not the judges of our worth, but you, the merciful One, are. Amen 

Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you’ve delivered, will soon deliver you

Mary, did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy will calm the storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby, you kiss the face of God

Mary, did you know? (Did you know?)
Mary, did you know?
Mary, did you know? (Mary, did you know?)
Mary, did you know? (Mary, did you know?)
Mary, did you know?

The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again
The lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the lamb!

Mary, did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary, did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is Heaven’s perfect Lamb?
That sleeping child you’re holding is the great I am

Mary, did you know? (Mary, did you know?)
Mary, did you know? (Mary, did you know?)
Mary, did you know? (Mary, did you know?)

(Mary, did you know?)

Every Christmas I hear this song, and every year I cry. The lyrics are moving and awesome, as you can see. Add to that the musical version by the group Pentatonix and you have a full-on Christmas experience.

So, that is my word for you today, dear readers. Copyright rules prohibit me from sharing the link, so I urge you to look it up, listen, and have a joyful early Christmas experience!

He was despised and rejected by mankind,
    a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces
    he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

 Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted                               Isaiah 53:3-4

What do we do with pain? Pain is a universal experience of humankind. It comes in many flavors- physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain, even spiritual pain. We try to avoid it, naturally, and there are some things that we can do to avoid unnecessary pain. We can, for example, avoid risky behaviors that may end up in pain such as extreme sports, reckless driving, excessive alcohol use, etc. Yet, even with such precautions, we cannot totally avoid pain in life.

Getting into relationships give us great pleasure and comfort, but we also then share the emotional pain of those whom we love. The pain of loss and death, for example, is extreme, but again, it is inevitable in our human experience.  That risk though is outweighed by the wonderful benefits of connection and intimacy we have with friends and family.

We cannot completely avoid physical pain, because pain was given to us for a reason. It is an indicator that something is amiss. We need to pay attention to the pain because it is telling us something, namely- “look into the source of pain to try to remedy it”. It may be a marker of more serious problems.

Other types of pain just come with the territory. We get muscle and joint pain just from our everyday living. Sometimes, we just physically hurt, and that is unavoidable.

But what do we do with pain? Do we ignore it? No, that is a bad idea most of the time. Do we acknowledge it and accept that it is part of life? Yes, that usually is a pretty good idea. Learning to accept pain is a gift of maturity and wisdom. Cursing the fact that pain exists is an exercise in futility. Pain is part of life.

So, how do we handle pain? We all have our ways, and we learn what works. The key is that no matter what the pain, we need to take ownership of it and decide what our attitude about it will be.

 All things considered, honestly acknowledging pain, not cursing it, is a good start.

Prayer: We understand that pain is a part of life, and the life you have given us is a blessed gift, Amen

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.                                  Matthew 7:1-2

I was talking with a client recently about how to approach his wife on a certain situation, and the idea of giving others the benefit of the doubt came up.  I suggested that, based on the Jewish Talmud, scholars went to great lengths to instruct others how to “judge favorably”. They would come up with possible scenarios for why a person, who seemed to act in bad faith on the surface, may have other issues going on which caused his negative behaviors toward them. The exercise itself simply made them stop and think about how they were supposed to treat their Jewish brethren.

I shared with my client that he may need to consider ascribing good motives to his wife’s behavior rather than assuming her worst motives toward him. He paused and said, “you know, I have always prided myself with giving other people the benefit of the doubt, but I have not done that with my wife”.

The ability to assume good motives in loving relationships is a significant factor in determining how well that relationship will flourish and stay intact. We are called, as the Talmud said to “judge favorably”.

When Jesus said in the sermon on the mount that we are to consider how we judge others, I think this is what he meant.

Prayer: Lord we are quick to judge and slow to understand at times. Help us on the journey to understanding, Amen

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He refreshes my soul.

These comforting passages, from Psalm 16 and Psalm 23, talk about how God protects and restores His weary travelers along the journey of life. David says in Psalm 16 that he has “Set the Lord before me; and because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” So true! If we set the Lord before us (because He is already there, we just need to acknowledge it), we will not be shaken. The converse is also true. If we remove God from ahead of us, and we set ourselves before Him, we are vulnerable.

In Psalm 23, my favorite verse says that God “restores my soul”. By implication, that means that, at times, my soul needs restoration – it gets weary, out of line, out of focus, priorities mistaken. God however is faithful. He takes compassion like a shepherd on a wayward sheep and He seeks me out when I stray. He brings me back to the cool water, lays me down, and anoints me with oil. He restores my soul because I cannot.

Psalm 16 says that God will not abandon me to the grave. That means that, though I will one day die, I will not rot away in some hole in the ground. I will be restored to Him once again and, in finality, to my home in heaven. He restores me even in death because I cannot.

Prayer: Father, thank you for your restoration. You restore our souls when they are weary, and you save us even from the effects of death. We love you even when we do not understand the depths of your love for us. Amen.