But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11
Feelings of guilt can rob us from fulfilling our potential.
In this passage we see the life of Moses, a gifted man of God who did not really see his gifts. Why not? Why didn’t Moses see his obvious gifts and talents which could be used for God? Well, many of us fail to see in ourselves the gifts with which God has endowed us. We tend to be oblivious to such gifts, sort of saying, “this (our talent) comes pretty easy to me; it can’t be that big a deal; anybody could do this”. This is compounded when we carry around guilt over some past behaviors. Guilt can render us pretty ineffective. Moses had killed an Egyptian in a fit of righteous anger, and he had been caught in the act. I think that this lingered in his mind, making him feel that, having done such an awful thing, God could no longer use him. He seemed to judge himself as unworthy; and even the God of creation could not forgive such an act. Certainly, he felt that he could not be a powerful instrument of God.
Remember Paul? He talked about his “thorn in the flesh”, which, to my way of thinking, was the memory of his past of having killed Christians. Paul was painfully aware of this past for the rest of his life and continued to call himself “the least of the brethren”, even as he led the church in so many ways later in life.
I think that we often disqualify ourselves from God’s service by our own standards, not using God’s standards of forgiveness and restoration. Remember, whatever sins we have committed, God has allowed grace to “much more abound”. We are more than qualified for service; we are commanded to serve with whatever God has given us to bring forth.
Prayer: Father, thank you for the calling you give to each of us. Remind us that we are not the judges of our worth, but you, the merciful One, are. Amen