For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self- discipline               II Timothy 1:7

I was speaking with a client the other day, and she was discussing her relationship with her partner. As we discussed some particulars in their relationship, it became apparent that she was becoming more distanced from him. He was lax in dealing with his children, and she did not see areas in his life that were indicating spiritual or physical discipline. I suggested that perhaps she was losing respect for him.

She immediately got the connection. When she realized that the things she wanted to count on him for – consistency in discipline in his children, and his follow through in his personal disciplines – were missing, she saw that she was losing respect for him.

Regular performance of personal disciplines is important, both personally and in relationships. We take comfort in accomplishing the things we have set out for ourselves. None of us is perfect in meeting personal disciplines, but it is good for our body mind and spirit as we strive for consistency in the regular disciplines we have set out for ourselves.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be consistent in doing what we say we are going to do, Amen

Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember those who are in prison, as though you were in prison with them; those who are being tortured, as though you yourselves were being tortured. Hebrews 13:1-3

Almost all Americans have an immigration story. I am the grandson of immigrants. On my father’s side, his father came to America in the mid 1890’s from Germany. On my mother’s side, her family came from the Alsace-Lorraine area of Germany (or France, depending on the year you look at) in the 1840’s. My family immigration story is probably pretty typical.  Unless you are Native-American, your family immigrated (or was brought) to America at some point in the last 350 years or so.

Now the United States faces an “immigration crisis” on the Mexican border. People from South and Central America, as well as Mexico, and really, many countries around the globe, are desperately trying to get into America to escape poverty and violence in their home country. What is the response of Christians to this?

Well, not surprisingly, the Christian response may not line up well with the political response. Obviously, this is a difficult problem, one with no simple solutions. Yet, Christians must adhere to the mandates of their calling and tradition- we are to welcome the stranger and the oppressed as much as we are able.

As I said, there is not a neat answer to this, at least not one that squares with America’s political and national aims. Yet, simply putting up high barriers to people who need refuge is not the response expected of Christian charity. Are we not obligated to try to meet the needs of those oppressed and marginalized?

When our ancestors arrived in America, immigrants were not always warmly welcomed either, because they were considered a threat to jobs. My German/French ancestors did not receive the overt rejection that had accompanied the arrival of some earlier immigrants, or those who later emigrated from southern Europe or Asia. Indeed, because of the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882, immigrants from China were legally excluded until 1943. Yes, we have a history of exclusion as well as inclusion.

When immigrants are defined in dehumanizing ways, it is easier to discriminate and exclude them. Unfortunately, this is an old practice that, sadly, continues to this day. People desiring admission to this country- the vast majority- are those simply seeking a better life. Indeed, many come in order to save their life and that of their children.

So, I simply suggest that as we consider how to respond to immigrants seeking asylum in America, we need to decide what might be the Christian response versus the political response.

Yes, that is a tough one. In some future blogs, I will speculate about what we as Christians might do to respond.

Prayer: Lord, give us wisdom to determine how to treat people as you would have us do that, Amen

Answer me quickly, Lord; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.                         Psalm 143:7-8

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), only about 30 percent of people with depression are ever diagnosed. Of that 30 percent, only half are treated. Of these, only 6 percent are managed sufficiently.  

What does this all mean? Depression is very common in the population, it is often underdiagnosed and then, undertreated. While stigma around mental health issues is greatly diminished these days, there still is fear and misunderstanding in dealing with mental disorders.

Depression manifests in many different ways. It can look like irritability. It can look like laziness to those not understanding the process of depression. It can look like chronic fatigue, and indeed, physical, mental and spiritual fatigue are hallmarks of depression.

Depression is not simple sadness, which can be temporary, and based upon situations that have turned sour on us. However, if not checked, such instances where situations have become chronically draining can led to a major depression. Long-term duration of stresses from negative encounters can actually change our neurobiology and we can then become biologically depressed. Our Serotonin levels then have then become adversely affected, and the depression takes a new negative turn.

None of us are happy all the time- that is not really possible. Yet the joy and zest for life must be encouraged in all of us. We can acknowledge difficult times- we all have them- but when those times get to the point of shaping our outlook, it is time to ask for help.

Prayer: Lord, help us to look inward in honest reflection of our current state, Amen

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.      I Corinthians 6:19-20                                                               

…”he went through the greater and more perfect tabernacle that is not man-made, that is to say, not a part of this creation”

Hebrews 9:11-12

The writer here is describing the perfect, once-for-all sacrifice that Jesus made for us. He later contrasts this with the system of animal sacrifice which was practiced by the Jews.  Jesus made the perfect sacrifice because he did not need to repeat the cleansing over and over again.

We know that in this life, our actions must be repeated day after day in order to maintain the intended results. We need to brush our teeth, shower, clean the house, and maintain the car, etc. regularly so that our health, and our stuff, is maintained and functional. We need to do this because of the temporal nature of our bodies and our stuff. Left to our own natural processes, we will break down, get dirty, fall into disrepair, and eventually die. This is one of the laws of nature- according to our physicist friends –“bodies tend to go to a higher level of disorder” on their own. In other words, we decay. We can delay that process for some period of time with regular care and repair, but we need to repeat that maintenance function all the time, and even then, we cannot stave off death forever. 

Animal sacrifices needed to be done over and over because they were “of this creation” and insufficient. Nothing that is from “this creation” is sufficient to stave off death because created things cannot do eternal things on their own.

Jesus however, not being created, (only in the earthly body he took on) could do the eternal thing. He could, and did, take on our sins, and he gave up his life “once and for all” so that we could be forgiven, and that we too could have eternal life. His sacrifice only needed to be done once.

Our lesson about this is to understand that we are “bought with a price” (I Cor. 6:20), that we are not “our own”, and that our only available moral response is to submit to the one who paid the price for us.

Prayer: Father, we are always amazed upon the reflection of your plan to have Jesus be the once-for-all price of redemption. Thank you for loving and saving this unworthy soul, Amen” 

 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise                                                                        Philippians 4:8

“What is the best thing that has happened for you this week?” That is a question that I often pose to my clients as we begin a session. So often in counseling, people are expecting that counselors will drill into problems areas- “what went wrong” kind of questions. Yes, we do that, but that is not what gives energy. First we need to look at what fresh energy we can bring to our situation.

I think it is important to talk about “what went right?’ Sometimes, clients have to think a bit before they can come up with a positive thing. They have been accustomed to talking about life’s problems, and I want to flip the script, so to speak, to set a different, more positive tone.

Thinking on the good things that have happened allows us to have gratitude for those things. It also encourages us, actually gives us energy, to be able to work on making things better the next week.

I like a strength-based approach in counseling. We bring to bear our strengths to solve problems. We do not deny that problems exist, we just don’t give them top billing.

Prayer: Lord, help us to always see the positives, even in a difficult and painful situation, Amen

“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”                                                                                                      Luke 16:10

I recently talked with a client about the shame of addiction, and how hard it is for his spouse to regain trust in him after his acting out in his addiction. I also discussed how that shame gets in the way of rebuilding self-trust. We need to learn to regain trust in ourselves, and this is hard when self-esteem is lowered by past failures.

I talked with him about basic disciplines that he can build in to regain trust in himself. I suggested that he begin by choosing to practice one small discipline in each life area: physical, spiritual, and emotional. The point is that the little disciplines, if done regularly, are like keeping promises to yourself. Self-esteem is based upon keeping those promises to ourself. Our self-esteem is not built by others giving us praise, rather, it is built slowly in our inner self when we learn that we can be counted on to keep the little promises we make to ourselves.

Like I told the client- keep those promises small, measurable and practical. Make sure that the promises are doable. Being trusted in little things makes for a longer-term trust in self.

Prayer: Lord, help us to keep things simple so that we can be people of integrity, Amen

I cry out to God; yes, I shout. Oh, that God would listen to me!
When I was in deep trouble, I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven,
    but my soul was not comforted.I think of God, and I moan,
    overwhelmed with longing for his help. You don’t let me sleep.
    I am too distressed even to pray!

Psalm 77:1-4

Nights can be hard. Fall has once again begun to descend, and with it comes less daylight. The night period is longer and it changes our rhythms. We get accustomed to these changes in light, generally, but many people suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, and they dread the onset of winter. The amount of light we receive affects our brain chemistry, and it causes us to have changes in mood. This, I believe, is both psychological and physical. The amount of serotonin is affected by these changes, and that results in less availability of that natural chemical which signals us to feel good. Often, these changes are subtle and minor, but sometimes, they can wreak havoc with our moods.

Night time is also hard for people who are struggling with depression and anxiety. Every thought seems to be compounded by the absence of comforting light. Light seems to give us hope and reassurance. Night time can be isolating and lonely, exacerbating fears and giving a sense of gloom that may not be present in the daytime.

David struggled with depression it seems, and he wrote about this in Psalm 77. He too was beset by problems sleeping. He had thoughts that would not quit, and they kept him from restful sleep. He wondered where God was in his time of need. He cried for help and seemed to come up empty. He felt helpless and hopeless.

Have you been there? You are not alone. Even David felt this sense of profound hopelessness, and it took him a while to finally get comfort.

Tomorrow we will look at some of his remedies.

Prayer: Father, we turn to you in time of trouble. We seek you for comfort. Be with us in time of need, Amen

Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken at the right time.                                    Proverbs 25:11

I read a book several years ago titled A Theology as Big as the City by Ray Bakke.  Lots of good stuff in the book, but one of the big takeaways for me was the idea that the church ought to serve as a chaplain to the city, or the area where it is located. Chaplains serve people with spiritual and emotional care at times of stress and crisis. We have hospital chaplains, military chaplains, hospice chaplains, police chaplains, even a chaplain for the U.S. Congress. That tells me that we value the spiritual care for people in critical situations.

The same goes for just us ordinary folks too. Heaven knows that there are daily stresses in our life that could be helped with the aid of a chaplain once in a while. The local church- that is the people who are part of that church (all of us, not the “pastor” necessarily), should be chaplains to the community we live in. We need to be ready to serve as the chaplain to the neighbor, friend, or even stranger who needs help, giving spiritual and emotional support.

If people saw the local church as a place where healthy, caring chaplains came from, they may be more inclined to check out what that church has to offer.

Just a thought…

Prayer: Lord, help us see the needs around us, and give us the will and courage to reach to help, Amen

A person’s conscience is the Lord’s searchlight exposing the hidden motives          Proverbs 20:27

I spoke with a client not long ago who was struggling with inadequacy, especially regarding his income. While he was earning a decent living, and was not in debt, he was triggered to feel inadequate when he discussed finances with his wife. After some discussion about this, I asked him what his “self-talk” was about how he felt. How did he internally process the feelings he was having?

He talked about his family of origin, as well as some past financial plans he had made, etc., and I asked him to consider in his self-assessment the difference in outcomes vs. motives. I explained that we often default to looking at certain outcomes in our life- “did this work out well or poorly for me”? At the same time, we often do not consider our motives. Did I mean to do the right and loving thing? Were my intentions geared toward the best interest of my family or others? Did I do the best I could given the information that I had at the time?

These are motive questions. I am a believer that outcomes are not totally under our control, but our motives are. There can be other circumstances that may hinder the outcome that we desire, but our motives are ours, and we must own them. They are totally under our control. If our motives are good (not perfect, they seldom are), then we can give ourselves grace about outcomes. We may be too hard on ourselves for outcomes without considering our motives.

My client considered that, and that was his takeaway from the session. He recognized that he did have good motives, but the outcomes were not always what he had hoped for, and indeed that is what he judged himself upon.  

So, consider motives when judging yourself. Self-aware people do judge themselves, and that is fine, as long as we do it in a way that is balanced.

 That allows us to give ourselves grace in the process.

Prayer: Lord, help us to extend to ourselves a portion of the grace you give to us, Amen

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.                                                                                                         Matthew 5:8

So, what does it mean to be “pure in heart”? It does not mean a “perfect heart”- that is not possible. It does mean that we have looked into our heart and we have seen it for what it is. It is selfish and pleasure seeking, if left to its own devices. Our job is to cut down on how often it is “left to its own devices”. In other words, we are to be stewards of an inherently selfish nature.

In the book of Jeremiah, the prophet asserts “The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be. Jeremiah 17:9-10

We are clear that we are not perfect in heart, but we can be pure of heart. We can do that by agreeing with God on it. He knows our frailties, and he detests the practice of trying to cover it up, pretending we are something that we are not.

The counseling principle of ownership of our innermost being frees us to become who we are truly meant to be. Truth in agreeing that we are sinners in need of a Savior is the step of freedom and change. It is the “moment of clarity” for those in addiction who now see the need for help in overcoming the addiction. It is the moment of salvation for those who see that they cannot solve the sin problem alone.

I have been fond of writing about the relationship of faith and science. Science can explain and solve many world problems. It cannot solve the sin problem. That is the work for faith.

Prayer: Thank you Father for the solution to our heart problems, your son, Jesus, Amen