Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it Proverbs 22:6

I was speaking to a client recently about child rearing. She and her partner have disagreements on how to discipline their children. He is much more lax in response to their children’s routines and behaviors. She wants a firmer hand in their lives as she sees that they are not learning responsible behaviors.

We discussed the fact that our job is not to make our children happy. It is to make them responsible. When they learn responsibility, happiness can follow. Certainly, we want our children to be happy, yet temporary happiness can merely be the result of immediate gratification. Long term satisfaction comes from a life of good disciplines and responsible behavior that sets kids up for success as adults.

I told the client that counseling is much the same way. The goal of counseling is not to make people happy. The goal of counseling is to help make people responsible- recognizing agency over their own thoughts, feeling and behaviors. When we take ownership of those things we become more responsible, which leads to real happiness.

Prayer: Lord, help us to live into the full happiness that you would have for us, Amen

By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”                      John 13:35

I sometimes listen to a podcast titled Science and God by Dr. Michael Guillen. He is a noted scientist and a strong Christian. He rightly contends that God and science are not enemies, but rather, a “power couple”.

On a recent podcast, he discussed the concept of proof and the idea that there are many things that science cannot prove. Yes, it can disprove many things, but in the strictest sense, proof is an elusive concept.

He went on to say that we cannot prove the existence of God. That is the province of faith. However, we need not be dismayed. This does not diminish the existence of God. Actually, it gives us the opportunity to BE the proof of God.

Jesus explained to his disciples that they (and succeeding generations) are to be the living witness of God’s existence. Certainly, the marvels of creation attest to God’s presence, but people attest to God’s character.

So, the word for today- be the proof of God’s existence and his love for humankind.  

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the great challenge and the great privilege to be the proof of your existence, Amen.

Paul stood up in the middle of the council on Mars Hill and said, “People of Athens, I see that you are very religious in every way. As I was walking through town and carefully observing your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: ‘To an unknown God.’ What you worship as unknown, I now proclaim to you. God, who made the world and everything in it, is Lord of heaven and earth. He doesn’t live in temples made with human hands Acts 17:16-17

In this present era, we experience a type of communication where people are talking across one another instead of to one another. We see Paul as an example of one who knew how to engage people. Paul had a message of good news which he desperately wanted to share with people, because he believed that spiritual life and death were at stake. Instead of demeaning and mocking the primitive beliefs of the idol worshippers at Athens, Paul showed respect for them in their search for truth. He acknowledged their sincere search for truth, and he showed his interest in their culture. He walked around the city and observed what was important to them. He did not judge them, but pointed out and affirmed their own desire to know the “unknown god”. The Athenians were open to the idea of a god that they did not yet know, and they had made idols to various gods. However, in the interest of not leaving any out lest they anger one of those deities, they made an idol to the “unknown god.”

Paul was able to use their own language and concepts to help introduce them to the God that could offer them peace and salvation. He did not mock their feeble attempts to placate the unknown god, he introduced them to the God of their need, the God that they sought and did not yet know.

Paul’s approach is needed today. We need to listen, and understand the language of people with whom we disagree. We need not, and should not, shame and dishonor those with whom we disagree. We need to love them enough to hear their world view. It may be very different from ours, yet people come to a particular world view for a reason. It is arrived at due to a journey different than our own oftentimes.  

As we enter the heated environment of political rhetoric which is so visible these days, let us pause to understand that with which we disagree. You will read, if you complete the 17^th chapter of Acts, that Paul gained a hearing from the people of Athens because he cared enough to hear their story and their world view, different as it was from his. Let us be intentional in respectfully hearing views with which we disagree.

It is good for our soul, and the souls of those whom we love and yet do not agree with.

Prayer: Lord, grant us the patience to hear what we do not agree with, and the grace to patiently share your love, Amen.

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.                                                       Proverbs 14:23

From the fruit of their lips people are filled with good things, and the work of their hands brings them reward.                                                                                                                                                              Proverbs 12:14

Today is Labor Day here in the United States. In many countries, it is celebrated on May1 as Labor Day (or Labour Day), and may also be known as International Workers Day or a similar name. For my friends in Ecuador, I understand it is celebrated on April 30^th.  Whatever you call the day, I hope you can celebrate it as honoring the value of work. I am deliberately disregarding the political overtones that some ascribe to “May Day”, recognizing that workers should be celebrated, no matter the political attachment given to the day.

There are some who have interpreted that work is a curse resulting from the “Fall in the Garden of Eden”. Let me assure you that I am not of such a mind. Indeed, I believe that work is a gift from God. Even before that “great fall” in the garden, Adam had been assigned the work of naming the Creation, as well as tending the garden and its obvious beauty and plenty.

My good friend Pastor Mike Slaughter spoke about work in his Sunday message stating that work should be “honoring to God”; “a blessing to others”; and should “bring joy to the laborer”. This is true. Our labors are an expression of our gifts and talents which we use in the service of others. All work is noble and worthy, and it should be honored.

So, I don’t know how you will celebrate today, but you should be reminded that your labor is worthy.

Celebrate it!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the gift of work, which gives us value and meaning as we serve your creation, Amen

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?             Matthew 6:26-27

I was speaking with a client recently about what might give her more of a sense of serenity. We got around to the subject of what might be a reason that she does not have more peace, and I suggested to her that her serenity cannot be based upon her husband’s behavior. She has spent a great deal of time worrying about whether her husband has been unfaithful to her, as he had been in the past, and she soon realized the truth of the statement- her serenity was not dependent upon her husband’s behavior. This was something beyond her control.

So often we fail to see things that are obvious. In our attempts to find peace of mind, we try and try to figure things out. Somehow, we get the idea that if we put a lot of effort into something, we can get some measure of control. The less energy we give to certain things, the better the outcome.

I am not against hard work by any means! Work is good for the mind, body, and soul. However, when it comes to trying to overthink things over which we have little or no control, The truth is, often, less is more.

Prayer: Lord, help us to discern the things that we can control, and those that we cannot, Amen

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law                         Galatians 5:22-23

“There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.”

Fred Rogers

The show Mr. Rogers Neighborhood began in 1968, a show that began after my childhood. I was never a fan of the show because I believed that I was too grown up for it. Yes, it would have been a little weird if I watched the show when I was 18 + years old, but at the same time, I sort of ridiculed it as a bit of a show for sissies. You know, all that sappy stuff he talked about with kids. “You’re special”, “show kindness to others” – he hit all the platitudes.

I was wrong about Mr. Rogers.

I fear that today, our example of strong males is men with aggressive behaviors, those belittling others, a goal of winning at all costs, and having a robust sexual life with multiple partners. Fred Rogers was a man who exemplified his faith and manhood even when he was misunderstood. What strength of character!

Well, we sure could use Mr. Rogers today, right? He was a Presbyterian minister who truly lived out his faith. He loved people right where they were, and he encouraged others to do the same. He had a prayer list of people that he prayed for every day. He led a very disciplined life, one dedicated to others, especially children. He was an example, perhaps, of people who are not fully appreciated in their own lifetime.

 I wish he were around now so that I could tell him how much I admired him.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for examples of Godly men like Fred Rogers, Amen

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ                         II Corinthians 10:5

I was discussing anxiety with a men’s group the other evening, and I talked with that group about how anxiety manifests itself in several different ways. The way we most expect anxiety to manifest is in excessive worry and intrusive thoughts. Of course, that is one type, and that is bad enough.

However, another way anxiety presents is through negative thinking about oneself – self-loathing type thinking. This is a more insidious presentation because it can lead, over time, into shame and low self-worth. As I have often said, anxiety over a period of time becomes depression.

I think it is important to realize that this is a form of anxiety, and not truth. Yes, at times we feel guilty for certain actions we have done (or failed to do), but the negative thinking that comes from anxiety is not truth based. It is a sort of self-destructive mechanism that we have built into us.

We are given a remedy in the Bible in the verse above. Since God has made us in his image, and loves us with his fierce love, he would not see us as unlovable or unworthy of him. Therefore, we take those destructive thoughts captive and speak truth to them.

God loves me, and I am worthy.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for your fierce and unending love, Amen

An unreliable messenger can cause a lot of trouble. Reliable communication permits progress. Proverbs 13:17 (Living Bible)

Just a quick thought today about communication styles. Did you ever notice that sometimes, conversations are easier side-to-side than face-to-face? Sometimes, it is easier to communicate walking together, or sitting in the car together than an intentional face-to-face meeting. Why is that?

Well, there can be a lot of reasons, but side-to-side communications can be more disarming and feel less threatening to people. There is a certain casualness and ease of talking when walking side to side. I sometimes tell couples, to take a walk together to communicate. This way they not only get the benefits of exercise, they get the value of easy communication.

By all means, there is tremendous value in eye contact when communicating. Yet, don’t discount the value of easy side-to-side communication, which can feel less intense. This is especially helpful when communication has been difficult for the couple. This style seems to be helpful also in communicating with teenagers, who dread the invitation of “we need to talk”.

So, just a thought today. Enjoy your talk!

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the gift of communication. Help us to use it wisely, Amen

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.                            John 15:13

My wife and I recently took a trip to Philadelphia for a family wedding. Along the way, we decided to stop and visit some museums and monuments that are meaningful in American history. The Gettysburg, Pennsylvania battlefield is rich in the history and valor from the American Civil War. We also went through the American Revolution Museum in Philadelphia, and finally, on the way home, we stopped at the Flight 93 Memorial site in Shanksville. Pennsylvania.

For those who may not be familiar with the Flight 93 Memorial site, it was the crash-landing site where a group of 40 brave passengers decided to give their lives to wrestle control of a terrorist hijacked airplane. The plane crashed near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, interrupting the mission to do terrorist inspired harm in Washington D.C.

It became their grave.

In their brave actions, they may well have saved the U.S. Capitol and a joint session of Congress which was taking place on that fateful day- September 11, 2001. That plane was evidently headed to the U.S Capitol building. Of course, just an hour earlier, the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York, and the Pentagon in Washington, D.C were attacked in the same manner- with hijacked airliners.

The memorial is very moving, and it includes the last recorded phone calls from the doomed passengers to their loved ones at home. The passengers and crew’s valor were demonstrated by their actions. Their phone messages to family members showed not only courage, but the love that caused them to take those bold actions.

I was struck by the words written in a letter posted at the memorial:

God chose our fields of Shanksville to lay you to rest. We’ll take care of you now. You are the heroes of all America now. This is our thanks. God bless the Crew and Passengers of Flight 93.

Signed- Sam and Coni Stevanus & Jeff Cooper,

Indian Lake

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the courage of those who give their lives for those they love, Amen

His disciples answered, “But where in this remote place can anyone get enough bread to feed them?” “How many loaves do you have?” Jesus asked. “Seven,” they replied.                       Mark 8:4-5

This passage from the book of Mark recalls the time when Jesus fed 4000 people- with seven loaves of bread and a few small fish. This miracle illustrates so much to me. First, this miracle could have taken place if Jesus had no bread and no fish. He could have performed the miracle any way he chose. But he chose to use what he had in order to illustrate some things to us. Namely, Use what you have, even if you don’t think it is enough.

I can just imagine that conversation with the disciples when they told him that they could not procure food for these masses of people. They were in the middle of nowhere. Jesus, thinking about the needs of the people, refused to send them off without feeding them.

So, Jesus said, “How many loaves do you have?” They said- “Seven”. I can just see Jesus saying, “Well that should do it. We got this”. He wanted to show them that with him, they could use their puny resources and do great things for other people.

Jesus also wanted them to be part of the miracle. He used the bread and small fish that they had gathered up in order to feed to crowd. They were to distribute the food, then collect the leftovers- yeah, the leftovers!

The intent of the story? Use what you have to serve others. Our job is to trust and serve, it is not to be fixed on the outcome. Jesus can take care of the outcome just fine.

We just bring those few loaves and a couple of small fish.

Prayer: Lord, thanks for the plan to use us in your work, Amen