“Judge not, that you be not judged.  For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.  And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.                                                                                                                                                                                  Matthew 7:1-5

Projection: the attribution of one’s own ideas, feelings, or attitudes to other people or to objects Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Jesus was able to clearly outline the mechanism of projection long before more modern psychology had a name for it. The process of ascribing an attribute in ourselves onto someone else, then judging it, has been a part of the human condition since- well, forever.

Jesus correctly called upon people to clear their own eyes before they can accurately assess the problems with someone else. If we have a speck in our own eye, it actually, due to its close presence, looks, and sometimes feels, like a “plank”. It inhibits us from seeing things very well. We are not in a position to be able to see something amiss in another person’s eye, or heart as it may be, to offer a remedy. We need to get our own sight better first. Jesus went on to suggest that once we deal with our own problems, we may well be able to help a brother or sister with the same affliction.

I often discuss with clients that they can find personal healing by sharing their story for the benefit of someone else going through the same or similar problem. In this way, we get out of the pity, as well as the projection problems that can beset us, as we work to help another person.

But first, we need to see clearly in order to do that. We own our problems, work to deal with them, then we share our story for the benefit of others.

First step- we get the plank out of our own eye.

Prayer: Thank you Father for the wisdom of Jesus on human nature. He knows us better than we know ourselves, Amen.

 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently                                            Romans 8:24-25 (NIV)

Hope, by definition, is not currently seen. Hope lives in the future, but makes the present palatable. We hope for different outcomes for our current situation. Collectively, we have had a shared hope of coming out of the COVID-19 era unscathed and “back to normal”. Isn’t it funny that the old normal never looked so good? We always seem to strive for the next “better thing”. Yet, right now, a return to 2019 reality looks pretty good!

Every generation strives for better conditions, more prosperity, better health, more convenience, an easier lifestyle, etc. This is normal, and indeed, this aspirational thinking drives us to better ideas, innovation, inventions, and envisioning a better lifestyle for our children.

Hope is good. We live on it and especially in these times, we look for specific solutions. That there will soon be a COVID-19 vaccine is a hope. Pre- 2020 life, when the routines of life were taken for granted, is the hope of 2021. We will get there, but in the meantime, we live in the hope of getting there.

My hope for my readers is that we do not lose the present in the hope for the post-COVID-19 future. Time is precious, so let us live in the present, enjoy it, and savor it, as we hope for a post COVID-19 future.  

Prayer: Lord, past generations have turned to you for hope, and indeed, so do we. Help us to live fully in the present as we have hope for the future, Amen.

Or, God’s kingdom is like a jewel merchant on the hunt for excellent pearls. Finding one that is flawless, he immediately sells everything and buys it                                                                                               Matthew 13:45-46 (The Message)

Years ago there was a great movie titled City Slickers. It starred Billy Crystal, a genius comedian and Jack Palance, a veteran “tough guy” actor. The movie is a story of some men who were casting about in their life with career and relationship problems. They left for a western adventure and came away with some amazing life experiences and changed lives.

In one scene, Billy Crystal’s character, Mitch, is riding alone with Curly (Jack Palance). Mitch asks Curly some probing questions about his life, and Curly replies, “You just have to find that one thing and go after it”. Mitch says, “What is that one thing?”. Curly replies “That’s what you have to find out”.

Jesus spoke in parables often to teach his followers the great answers to life. Jesus said in response to a question from a follower, Or, God’s kingdom is like a jewel merchant on the hunt for excellent pearls. Finding one that is flawless, he immediately sells everything and buys it.

Jesus was talking about the Kingdom of God- the source and final goal of salvation. He related to them that once one finds that “One Thing” he or she will give up everything for it, because it is the prize worth everything.

Finding our source of redemption, the sacrifice that Jesus made for us, is that jewel, that “Pearl of Great Price” as the old translations called it. So too, we have aspirational goals- the life missions we have been called to. We search for that, and upon finding it, we sell out everything to pursue it. That is what gives life satisfaction and fulfillment.

So, to go back to Mitch’s question, “What is that one thing?” for you?

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the teachings of Jesus which change our life and give us life, Amen.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8 (KJV)

The police officer who pays for groceries for a vagrant instead of arresting him. The minimum wage clerk at McDonalds who pays the bill for a customer who forgot her wallet. The first person in line at a Starbucks drive-thru who pays for the person’s order behind him, setting off a chain of events of people paying for the person behind them. The teacher who buys school supplies for her students who cannot afford them. The truck driver who stops to change a flat tire for a stranded motorist. The line of people at the blood bank giving life-saving plasma. The volunteers who go to California to help fight forest fires. The outpouring of support after a natural disaster.

Should I go on? Not enough room in the blog. These events happen EVERY DAY. There are actually too many instances of giving and sacrifice to be documented here. These events typically do not make headlines. Maybe because they are too commonplace and we take them for granted. Maybe they do not fit the narrative of sensationalism that our news cycle craves. Whatever the reason, we must not lose sight of this aspect of our human character.

It is important to celebrate these little daily exercises of goodwill and humanity. Take heart my dear readers, goodwill and kindness abound, it just gets shut out of the headlines. Keep up your silent and important everyday deeds that help your fellow traveler on this earth.

That is what we need to keep in mind to stay focused on what our country, indeed every country needs. These things are what makes America great. Let’s not let that knowledge slip into the background too far.

Prayer: Lord, you have created us to live in community and to bear one another’s burdens. Help us to remember that wonderful aspect of your creation, Amen

Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. James 4:1 (The Message)

I typically give homework to my clients between sessions. After all, most of the work of change needs to take place outside the counseling session. My job is to equip clients with the tools they need to effectively handle life challenges. I encourage, I challenge, I give feedback, and I provide accountability for my clients. Above all, I try to listen closely to them and give them the respect that they deserve. They have entrusted me with very precious parts of their lives, and I have a duty to honor them with confidentiality and accountability.

Recently, I gave a set of Rules of Engagement to a couple who was having a hard time communicating effectively. I thought that I would share them with you to see if you might also find these rules helpful in times when communication gets tense or even counterproductive.

Rules for Healthy Engagement

• We agree to engage in a reasonable discussion where no threats are made
• We agree to each take ownership of our part of the problem
• We agree that no blame is to be given to the other party
• We agree to own how we are feeling
• We agree that spiritual solutions should be sought for whatever problems we are having
• We agree to stay engaged in this discussion as long as we can participate in a courteous, respectful manner
• We agree that a “timeout” can be requested by either party with no questions asked, and no blame assessed, when tensions are getting too high to manage

I realize, of course that these, in some ways, are ideal goals and practices, but they are also reasonable and possible. It takes discipline and determination to follow these rules, but if we do, it works. I suggest that these might be applicable to political and social discourse as well. This list is far from exhaustive, but if followed, it will produce better communication for both parties.

So, there it is, and as they say in recovery meetings, it works if you work it!

Prayer: Lord, give us ears to hear, and discretion in our speech, Amen.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

Today we conclude my daughter’s (Jennifer Hartwell) guest blogger comments on faith and science. She had an experience somewhat similar to mine when we confronted God’s handiwork in shaping the human body. It solidified our faith in ways that were strong, and strangely beautiful. Here is the rest of Jennie’s story…

Science alleviates fear.

Is it our natural human reaction to fear the things we don’t understand. In the absence of understanding, we fill in a narrative of what we think, pieces of what we have heard, but it falls short of full understanding. There is an interesting misunderstanding of science in some circles…that it will undermine one’s faith, divert one from spiritual principles, or contradict the teachings of Christ. I posit that this is a position of fear. A position of mistrust of one’s self to study in depth the things that are uncertain. I trust my Creator to endow me with enough wisdom and insight in my journey to not retreat from my faith, but grow in it, as a result of my deeper understanding of the world He has made and the way we function in it. It is not science we have to fear, but rather the unknown. It is not science that subverts our faith. Science brings understanding, value, and worth to all things previously unknown. When we say we don’t believe in science, what we mean is we don’t understand science. When we say we are upset by the outcomes of scientific exploration, what we mean is that we are concerned about how disingenuous humans use the knowledge gained by science in malicious ways. Inquiry, understanding and knowledge are neutral, neither spiritual or evil. The methodical process of science can do much to alleviate fear, not exacerbate it.

Science affirms our understanding of our Great Creator.

As a first-year medical student in gross anatomy lab, I stood over and studied the incredible gift of the donor who, after her death, gave her body to our study group to learn every artery, vein, muscle, nerve, organ, and tissue. Then, in physiology class, I learned how all of these pieces work in beautiful concert together, to give us life. The intricacies of the human body, the delicate balance of every fluid and electrolyte and hormone to keep us healthy…it’s truly incredible. I remember sitting in class and saying, “How could anyone study this complex design and not wonder if there was a Creator?” I say the same when I see fall’s colorful leaves and huge waves crashing on a beach. It’s hard to experience the vastness, beauty, and fascinating inner workings of our earth without feeling inspired.

What is more, as I grow in my faith, as I am challenged by cultural, theological, moral and ethical dilemmas, science gives me a paradigm to question, study, reason, and make sound decisions. My study of science has bolstered my ability to be a critical thinker and a methodical student. When we write scientific papers, we always follow the same format: Background, Methods, Results, Conclusions. Following the same method, I am able to rise about the noise of social media, the sway of politics, the slant of media, and simply seek the facts that inform a sound conclusion. A question, followed by a well-designed study of God and his word, along with the wise counsel of spiritual teachers and mentors, leads me to the results that help me form a sound conclusion.

Prayer: Thank you Father for your amazing creation and the ways that science can complement and enhance faith, Amen.

Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life; don’t for a minute lose sight of them. They’ll keep your soul alive and well, they’ll keep you fit and attractive. You’ll travel safely, you’ll neither tire nor trip. You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry; you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep. No need to panic over alarms or surprises, or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner, Because God will be right there with you; he’ll keep you safe and sound.                                                                                         Proverbs 3:21-26 (The Message)

Today I would like to share another technique that I use in dealing with anxiety. It is known as “Designated Worry”. In this technique, we acknowledge that anxiety is a real thing, and it signals things to us about how we are interacting with the environment. As I have said earlier, “worry” is our anticipation of potentially harmful events (or in some cases, past events) over which we exert little control. The antidote for anxiety and worry (they are related) is behavior- over which we DO have control.

We all worry at one time or another. People who struggle with anxiety have difficulty containing the worry to controllable behaviors. For example, I have clients who struggle with anxiety, and they are aware that this is a more or less chronic thing running in the back of their mind at all times. Kind of like background music, but not nearly as pleasant.

When specific worries come up, like a presentation at work, they feel increased tension and their anxiety gets worse. One technique is to use “Designated Worry”. This “Designated Worry”- let’s just use DW for now- serves a purpose. Indeed, that presentation at work is important, and anyone may spend time anticipating it, worrying about it, because that is a common and reasonable thing to do.

 In order to give the proper justice to the worry, we should agree that the presentation is important, and that we should spend some time worrying about it. We can take control of that worry by setting aside a reasonable amount of time to worry about it. Further, we should designate the time- schedule it in and plan for it. When the DW time is set, the worry time should be behavioral, not just thinking about it. So, the DW time becomes a practice session for the presentation. It actually helps us to “overprepare” for the worrisome event. This way, the worry has become a tool for success. It is employed to help make the project successful.

Taking control of the time that the worry occurs, the WAY that the worry occurs, and to have control of it as a useful tool, actually honors the event. The event is not minimized (like someone saying “Don’t worry about that, you’ll do fine”).  I often tell clients to write down the things that deserve worry. Then promise yourself that you indeed WILL worry about that tomorrow at say, 8:30, or whenever they decide. They control the time and priority of the event.

This is especially helpful if the worry is keeping one up at night. I tell my clients to have a pad and pen next to their bed, and write down tomorrow’s DW list. Promise yourself that you will worry about it tomorrow (hopefully, have a behavior around it to actually gain some control), then follow through and do the worrying tomorrow.

People who struggle with anxiety are fighting a war every day, and that gets wearisome. Specific worry is only part of the battle. I want them to have the tools to beat that anxiety so that it does not beat them.

Prayer: Father, you promise to be with us in all of the things that trouble us. We trust your provision for us, Amen.

P.S.  I posted another section of Joseph Shepherd, chapters 2-3. Hope you like them.

by John Jung and Jennifer Hartwell, M.D.

The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out. Proverbs 18:15

This essay is my daughter’s first part of her exploration of science and faith in her life journey. She is a woman of deep faith and a deep love for people. Therefore, she finds it not incompatible in the least to use science as a way to heal people as a physician. That is the way she is using her gifts as a healer to live out her faith journey to love people. Science does not deny the presence of God, it helps to explain it. Loving people by using science is my daughter’s gift back to God of the gifts that he has given to her. A link to one of her journal articles can be viewed below

Here is her story…

Thanks to my dad for inviting me to write with him on his blog! He asked me to write about science and faith. Over the next two days, I will share with you some of the ways science and faith dance together in my life.

Let’s begin with some definitions:

Science: A branch of knowledge or study dealing with a body of facts or truths systematically arranged and showing the operation of general laws (Dictionary.com)

Faith: Confidence or trust in a person or thing (Dictionary.com)

Science helps us critically appraise our beliefs and empowers us to change our minds when we find we were wrong.

A story will illustrate this best. As a junior trauma surgeon, I started working at a medical center where the standard practice was to admit for observation all patients who suffered a concussion. As this was a deviation from the way I was trained, I was convinced this was a waste of time and resources, so I set out to prove it. I developed a study to retrospectively review all of the patients admitted to our medical center with a concussion over the past several years. We read through each chart in detail and gathered the data on a series of 395 patients. In the end, we found that nearly 1/3 of all patients we admitted, after evaluation by the cognitive specialist, needed ongoing therapy; therapy that would have not been offered had I simply discharged each patient from the ED. I changed my mind. Applying the scientific method gave me the framework to challenge what I believed, and to confidently redirect based upon rigorous study, not just a feeling or assumption. The data clarified the truth. My practice changed and my patients benefited.

Science brings clarity and hope to an often chaotic world.

Confusion and sadness can be powerful motivators for change. Let’s take the story of seatbelts. John D. States was an orthopedic surgeon and race track physician in New York. His experience at the track left him with stories of tragedy seeing drivers tossed from their vehicles to often deadly consequence. He was inspired to study the effects of seatbelts and, of course, found their life saving benefits. He shared his work with automobile manufacturers and legislators and in 1968 the first seat belts laws were enacted in New York. Though it would take another 11 years for 48 additional states to do the same, his steady work, his methodical study of a tragic problem, brought hope in the face of what had before been considered certain death. By 2016, it’s been estimated that seat belts save about 15,000 lives annually. Science helps us approach chaos, sadness, confusion and hurt, with a comforting, stable, consistent approach. Science inspires us to believe that we can solve unsolvable problems, and bring hope to what feels like despair.

Tomorrow, in part two of Jennie’s essay she gives her summation of how her faith was enhanced by her pursuit of science.

Prayer: Thank you Father for the gift of science and reason to help your people, Amen

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/000313481508100431

“Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg passed away the other day after a long and fierce fight with cancer. I think her battle with cancer really just emphasized the way that she lived her life- courage in the face of high odds stacked against her. She was a warrior for what she believed in, and therefore she became a lightning rod for dissent. I did not always agree with her stances, but I admired her tenacity. Clearly, she was ahead of her time- indeed she led her time- in the cause of equality for women in American society.

Much the same can be said for John Lewis, who passed on July 17^th. Coincidentally, I was reading the book, The Children, by David Halberstam, when he died. The Children is the story of the young civil rights demonstrators of the early 1960’s. It covers the lives of men and women like John Lewis who, as very young college students, took courageous stands in lunch counter sit-ins, marches, and rallies at which they were often arrested, and at times, beaten. John Lewis suffered at least two significant concussions from beatings, one at the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama. Lewis, a man of strong faith, was willing to risk his life for what he believed. I was moved by the faith that drove Lewis to lay down his life for his cause. His motives were not just political, but rather a drive for social justice informed by his belief in God. Ruth Bader Ginsberg risked her reputation and career in trying to further the causes in which she deeply believed.

Both of these individuals took courageous stands in the face of what seemed to be insurmountable opposition. Both have been controversial in how they took their stands, and I suppose that is the point. People did not need to agree with their stands to see that they had passion and courage, and that they stood for principles which advanced the American way of life.

People who stand against the current tide are often not appreciated until late in their lives, or maybe not until they have long passed. The courage that these warriors possessed is a virtue which serves us all well, whatever side of the political or social spectrum we might land.

America has lost some fierce warriors this summer.

As I end the piece, I want to invite my readers to the treat I promised last week. My daughter, Jennifer Hartwell, will be featured the next two days as we continue the discussion on science and faith. She has some terrific insights into the subject, and I can’t wait to share them with you. So, check in to see the discussion!

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the people that you bring into our lives who encourage us to listen to the better angels of our spirit, Amen  

The road to life is a disciplined life;
    ignore correction and you’re lost for good.                                                                                                          Proverbs 10:17 (The Message)

I remember reading the book years ago written by Florence Littauer titled, It Takes So Little to be Above Average. The concept is so simple, so basic, yet the results can be profound. I had the privilege of having dinner with Florence Littauer, along with my wife and a mutual friend, shortly after she wrote that book. She was very encouraging to me in my early attempts at writing. She also seemed to live the title of the book she had written. She really believed that we could, with very marginal extra effort, live a more compelling and impacting life. I think she was right.

It takes just a little effort to make our lives, and the lives around us, just a little bit better. I thought about this again recently while walking. I saw discarded paper masks, pop bottles and other assorted trash outside of the store I was about to enter. Litter, I told my wife, is a measure of how people value their community. The more litter, the less community cohesion and collective discipline.

Now, litter has been a problem for many years. Further, my hypothesis about the amount of litter and the inference about the collective care for the community has not been measured- at least to my knowledge. Nonetheless, I am disturbed by the presence of litter because it reflects poorly on my community. More importantly, it makes me believe that the general level of discipline has slipped.

It really, truly, is not hard to find a receptacle for trash. The laziness of those who litter gives me concern for the deeper, more negative implications that it holds. That is, people do not care enough about others to take a minute to do the right thing. They are thinking, at that moment, only of themselves. I think, as a society, we are becoming less disciplined, less caring, and less community focused.

As Florence Littauer wrote, it really takes very little to rise above mediocrity. I think that is true. I wonder how many people really want to do that?

Prayer: You have created us to care for one another, and our shared environment. Forgive us for our careless behaviors which dishonor you and our fellow travelers, Amen.