Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.  Don’t just think about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and in what they are doing.                    Philippians 2:3-4 (Living Bible)

There is a story in Alcoholics Anonymous about how Bill W. met Dr. Bob for the first time. These two gentlemen were the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, and they first met in 1935 in Akron, Ohio. There are many versions of the story, but the general outline is that Bill W., travelling and away from home and sober less than six months, was struggling with an alcohol craving.  He recognized that what he needed to do was to find another alcoholic in order to maintain his shaky sobriety. In a bar in the hotel, he met “Dr. Bob”, and from there is history. Their relationship and commitment to sobriety led to the formation of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).

I recall this story because recently I spoke with a man in recovery who said that he maintains his sobriety by finding other addicts to help. He helps himself by helping others. That constitutes the 12^th Step of AA – Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

This statement may at first seem paradoxical, but it is completely consistent with Christian theology. By looking out for the needs of others, we in turn are fulfilled and healed. We are all vulnerable, and when we can share that with others, we can help them on their healing journey. In turn, it reinforces our own recognition of dependence upon God.

Mighty good strategy, right?

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the simple wisdom of Jesus, and all those who recognize dependence upon him as higher power, Amen

After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought on him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring. The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part…  Job 42:10-12

The book of Job is one of the oldest writings in the Bible, and it has been quoted, misquoted, and used out of context for centuries.  Don’t get me wrong, my guess is that I too will use it out of context and derive my own meanings, which may or may not adhere to orthodox interpretation. However, I will do my best to give you my ideas on the book.

The Book of Job is about suffering. That is why it has been so quoted and studied over the centuries. The one thing that is constant in the human story is suffering. I have pointed out before that Job’s “comforters” initially were very helpful to him when they simply sat with him and allowed him to share his terrible fate with them. It was when they offered their own ideas about why God had allowed such suffering that they caused Job more pain than ever. They accused him of having done some sin, perhaps something unknown, that God was punishing him for.

Finally, after what seems like an interminable amount of soul searching, speculation, and accusations, God appears on the scene and takes charge of affairs. God lets the men know that he alone was around when he created the earth. God alone has his reasons, or non-reasons for what he does, and because he is sovereign, he can, and will, do what he pleases. He owed the men no explanation for his actions, or for simply what he allows to happen.

After these men- good men by the way, well meaning people- finally got that message, God told them that they owed Job an apology, and he told Job to pray for them. God said that he would forgive them for the pain they inflicted on their friend, Job.

I thought this following sentence was very interesting- After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. It was only after Job prayed for his friends and essentially forgave them that God restored to him more than he had ever lost.

I am not suggesting that this is a formula for wealth or success. It was simply the way God worked. He restored Job’s dignity, then he restored his wealth after he had learned his life lesson.

There is so much to learn in this, but my takeaway is that God is God, and he certainly does not answer to me.

It’s just that I would like him to do that, and I need to catch myself on that one. How about you?

Prayer: Thank you for the lessons you give us. Forgive us when we expect that you, the sovereign God, owe us an explanation, Amen

I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn’t bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken.                                                                                                                                       John 15:1-3 (The Message)

This is a great time of year as gardeners plan and start to plant their gardens. Early crops like spinach, peas and potatoes can go in as early as next week. So, the cycle begins!

Gardening always includes pruning, and I was never great at that. I am a conserver, and I hate to prune back and cut plants, and thin those that can make room for others, etc. Yet, this is a necessary and important step. Healthy plants demand pruning in order to maintain health and growth.

Jesus knew this as he spoke to his disciples. He gave them the analogy that pruning is a part of growth. It is another of nature’s paradoxes that cutting off parts of a healthy branch can make it produce better than if it were never pruned.

Such is our life. Certain things must be pruned away to make room for healthier growth. Some habits and practices that we have must be cut out in order for better, healthier habits to take root. We have to be willing to let go of some old certainties in order to be open to newer, healthier lifestyles. “We’ve always done it this way” needs to make way for, “this new practice may work better”. Being open to new learning is essential for us to thrive.

Jesus tried to prepare his disciples for the new message his life brought to earth. He had to die in order for others to live.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the plans you have. Plans which are for our good and growth, Amen

You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.                                                                                                                               Matthew 7:5

I was recently speaking with a couple in marriage counseling, and I saw that one partner was essentially taking the position, ‘if my wife could get the help she needs for her problems, our marriage would be fine’.

So, do you see the problem here? I explained that each partner needs to take ownership of personal deficits, limitations, harsh words, etc. Only if we look at our own behavior can we get to a solution in relationships. In fact, I posed this question to each – consider this, “what would it be like to be married to me?”

I suppose that a fairly clueless person, or one who was in denial might say, “Boy, being married to me would be a great experience!” A more considered response might be “Well, I suppose that it might be a bit of a challenge at times being married to me”.

So, that’s the word for today. Jesus called it “taking the log out of your own eye”. Jesus had a way with words…

Prayer: Lord, help me see the log in my own eye, Amen

On your feet now—applaud God! Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence.                   Psalm 100:1-2 (The Message)

Some of my readers may recall a comic strip titled Calvin & Hobbes. It was a brilliant comic featuring young Calvin and his stuffed tiger, Hobbes. Calvin is named after the famous theologian, John Calvin, and his tiger, Hobbes, is named after philosopher Thomas Hobbes.

Calvin is a precocious, adventurous, six-year-old boy who often poses difficult questions to his parents. Calvin sees the world from a very egocentric world view, as most six-year-olds might. Hobbes, his stuffed tiger (but only to others, to Calvin, Hobbes is a real friend), is an observer of life who helps Calvin understand a confusing world.

I often think of the truth that we find in humor, such as that of comic strips. I have mentioned in the past the great work I enjoy in The Far Side, B.C., Peanuts, and many other comics. Reading the comic page is a daily routine for me because I need to start the day with the refreshment of humor. Maybe it is to wash down the stuff I read on the front page.

I like Calvin because he reminds us that in all of us there is a bit of that egocentric 6-year-old- who at times thinks that the world did not really start to be modern until he made his appearance. His experience of new things seemed (to him) to be a new revelation for everyone for the first time.  In his little mind, his experience was the one that really counted.

We as adults know that such childish thinking is just that- childish. Yet don’t we at times lapse into the egocentric worldview- that our experience is the one that counts?

Well, think about that one for a while!

Prayer: Lord, you have given us a sense of humor, and we are blessed to have it to get through this world, Amen

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.  He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.                                                                  I John 4:7-8

Understanding the love of God is a mystery, I think, no matter your parental state. I have a little better understanding of it because I am a parent. At least for me, the unconditional love that I feel for my kids is somehow my dim understanding of the love God feels for me. I have some inkling of that love, and it took parenthood for me to get even there. I had to have the experience of loving a child in my own arms to get that better understanding.

Many of my readers may not have children, either by choice, or because they were unable to have biological children. Some may have chosen to adopt children. I simply explain my understanding of God’s love in terms of my own parenthood. That does not mean that those without children do not have a good understanding of God’s love – in fact, far from it.

I know childless people who have poured their lives into others in the most beautiful ways. Their time, energy and resources have gone into people not related to them, and they, in turn have shown God’s amazing love to others.

God as a loving parent is demonstrated in his investment in us through his son, Jesus. That too is a mystery. Rather than being caught up in theological explanations, I find it easier to just accept that God is a loving God who created us in his image. He wants us to share that love with others and his creation.

Keep it simple for me. God is love, and he wants us to be loving too.

Prayer: Lord, what an amazing plan you have, Amen

A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.                                   Proverbs 14:30 (The Message)

One of the things which I suggest as homework to my clients is a periodic “check-in” during the day on their emotional state- a self-awareness exercise. What do I mean by this? It is taking a brief pause out of daily routine, and perhaps taking a little breathing exercise -that is inhale 4 seconds in through the nose, hold about 5 seconds, then exhale through the mouth for about 7 seconds.

Doing this a few times gives a little distinct pause to allow one to center briefly on their personal emotional state. In other words, “What am I feeling right now?” This may take some time to really become effective, because people are often not truly aware about their current emotional state. This requires some honest personal searching about current feelings.

“Am I angry right now? Why?” “Am I sad right now? Why?” “Am I scared right now? Why”. Maybe you are feeling just great! Wonderful! You fill in the blank of the feeling. Many people, not being used to asking themselves this question, are used to covering it up with “I’m just tired” or “I don’t know what I feel”, or “How can I tell what I am feeling?”

This check-in is good to keep us calibrated and honest with ourselves. We are very used to denying feelings or covering them up. We find it hard to be honest with ourselves about what we are feeling. Indeed, some might say, “It doesn’t matter how I feel, I just need to press on today!”

The truth is it DOES matter how you feel, and it is important to just recognize it and own it. If you are angry or scared, that is fine- those are honest emotions. We are not looking for blame, just honest evaluation of what is “going on with me right now.”

To the extent that we do regular check-ins on our emotional state, the healthier we are. The truth sets us free in every way to be more honest with ourselves, owning personal feelings, and taking responsibility for how to take care of ones-self in that moment.

So, periodically, do the personal emotional check-in. It is good self-care.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the remarkable ability to be self-aware. What a gift! Amen

Note To My Readers: This blog posting is #1000! Hard to believe that we began this journey together on April 1, 2020. So, thanks for hanging with me during the journey. Having an inventory of 1000 blogs means that there is a lot in the archives! So, please check out the archives as you wish!

Blessings,

John

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.                                                                                Matthew 5:48

Have you ever read this passage and said, “Yeah right, be perfect. What a joke.” I talked with a client about that recently because this client often feels very, very far from perfect. In fact, he often feels terrible about himself.  The call to be perfect is like a cruel joke to him.

I told the client that every single person who ever lived probably harbors those same doubts, and even resentment that there is such a standard that they are so far from achieving. Then I gave my explanation of this to my client.

It is like we are on a road in life and there comes a fork in that road. Jesus invites us to a road toward fulfillment, but a road that others may not recognize. On that road, we will fail and make mistakes. We will not be perfect as we travel down that road, but that road leads to perfection. We are not perfect, but we are on the right road.

You know, if you take the wrong turn when you are on a trip, you can make good, fast progress, but you might be going in a wrong direction. That road will not take you to where you want to go. If you are on the right road, you might have difficulties, detours, potholes, accidents, you name it -but, you are on the right road! Follow that road and you will get to your destination.

The right road is the road to perfection, it is not perfection itself.  So, take heart. None of us is perfect, but we can take the road that leads there as we follow the lead of Jesus.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for Jesus, the guide on the road, Amen.

I just want to celebrate another day of livin’

I just want to celebrate another day of life

I put my faith in the people

But the people let me down

So I turned the other way

And I carry on, anyhow

That’s why I’m telling you

I just want to celebrate, yeah, yeah

I just want to celebrate, yeah, yeah

Another day of living,

I just want to celebrate another day of life

Lyrics to the song by Rare Earth, “I Just Want to Celebrate”

This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.                                       Psalm 118:24

Those of us of a certain age remember this 1971 song by the group Rare Earth. Actually, the song is popular enough that many people, regardless of age, know it. I use that title today because people need reminders to celebrate “another day of livin’’. Indeed, every day we draw breath should be a celebration.

Yes, I am painfully aware that many people may find little to celebrate. They may be grieving, in pain, anxious, depressed- the things that life may bring us. Yet, we need to find ways to celebrate the present.

Many of my readers may recall that a few years ago, I announced that March 1 is officially a holiday (in my way of thinking). It is my “first day of Spring”. Again, I know that it technically is not the first day of Spring, but I am claiming it nonetheless. I mean, Spring is actually within sight, literally. The daffodils and crocus are near poking their heads above the ground. Even the day lilies are pushing up from under last year’s dead leaves.

Baseball has started (Spring Training), and NCAA ‘s March Madness will be on us soon. And when somebody asks you what day it is, you can say, “It’s March!”

Yes, I do make “much ado” as Shakespeare might say, but the point is this. Whatever reason you need to celebrate, use it. Celebrate this day and you will find that your outlook is just a wee bit brighter. See, even saying “wee bit” makes me think of St. Patrick’s Day!

So, find your reason (or no reason) to celebrate “Another Day of Livin!”

Prayer: Lord, thank you for another day of livin! Amen

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.                                                                                                       Isaiah 55:8-9

I am not a Bible scholar, nor am I a theologian. I am an observer of people and an admirer of grace. I recognize that there is much that I do not know about theology, but I do have a belief about the nature and character of God. He loves people. He loves his creation. He is not bound by our definitions, nor our understanding. He is sovereign, and he can do as he pleases, and I often do not understand his ways. But I trust them.

I feel comfortable with the answer “I don’t know”. I am OK with that position. In fact, in some cases, I don’t even know what I don’t know. The good news is that I do not need to have an answer for everything. I think too often we believe that there must be an explanation of why things happen, or “why does God do what he does?”

That is where this idea of prevenient grace comes in. My understanding of prevenient grace is that even before I have an inkling of who God is, or his power to redeem his creation, God provides grace for us to even begin the quest of understanding.  His grace is sufficient for my lack of understanding.

 I’m good with that.

Prayer: Thank you for the grace that you give, even before we know what grace really is, Amen