Though I am the least deserving of all God’s people, he graciously gave me the privilege of telling the Gentiles about the endless treasures available to them in Christ.                                                                                     Ephesians 3:8

This verse has always struck me. Paul a giant of the faith, one who had a deeply moving experience with God on the road to Damascus, calls himself “the least deserving” of all God’s people. Was this false humility? I don’t think so. Paul, who had also said that he had a “thorn in the flesh” from which he had not been delivered, was a man, I believe, deeply beset by a sense of shame.  

I am not a Bible scholar, and this is strictly an amateur opinion of mine. Paul was a man who lived a life deeply committed to Jesus, and was also deeply flawed. Sounds like a guy I would really like and could relate to.

Paul had persecuted Christians, and he had been present at the stoning of Stephen, an early martyr. Stephen’s last words were: “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.”Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.

If you are present, indeed complicit, in the murder of a person who is praying for your soul while you stand by assenting to that death, I have to believe that it leaves a deep impression. Was this really the moment that prepared Saul (before he became Paul) to see that those Christians were a different kind of people?

Maybe Paul, remembering those haunting words, saw himself, even after his redemption, as a man with scars. Maybe those scars were remnants of incomplete self-forgiveness. Who could blame him? Yes, he was forgiven by an amazing grace. Yet, he knew what he did. He knew that old Saul was still part of his story. 

I don’t know. This is complete speculation on my part. But I think there is something to it. We all know what we have done, better than anyone else ever can. Yes, we are forgiven, but maybe there is a part of us that always reminds ourselves of that past, however forgiven it might be.

My point? Don’t be too hard on yourself if you still harbor some lingering elements of self-unforgiveness. You are in good company. But remember also, that God is not the one remembering those faults. His plan is for us to have complete forgiveness, including forgiving ourselves.

 In the words of the old comic strip character Pogo- “we have met the enemy, and the enemy is us”

Prayer: Thank you for the truth that you have forgiven our sins “as far as the east is from the west”, Amen.

Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.                                                                 Philippians 2:5-8 (The Message)

Yes, I listened to Christmas music today while on a walk. I suppose I rush the season. My outdoor Christmas lights are up and lit- I might have been the first in the neighborhood to do that. I am wondering if I should feel guilty.

Well, no, I am not feeling too guilty. I love Christmas, and I like all the things that go with it. I know that the culture celebrates a season that worships merchandising and sales, not the reason for the season- the incarnation of God coming to earth bodily in the form of Jesus. So, I join in to the culture’s celebration, but knowing why I do it.

The season allows us a reason to display a spirit of good will toward one another. We have the example of Jesus, who came to earth, giving up untold ecstasy and peace to wander the earth as a human being, with all the suffering that comes with that. He came to lay down his life for us. His example of selfless sacrifice is played out in our tradition of giving Christmas gifts to those we love. It also inspires us to give to people we do not know. It inspires churches to generate giving campaigns to help people in their own community, and around the world. It’s a great season.

So, let the celebration begin!

 Early.

Prayer: Lord, how can we begin to thank you for the gift of your son- the reason for the season of Christmas, Amen

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters                                                                                                                                                              Psalm 23:1-2 (KJV)

Then Jesus directed them to have all the people sit down in groups on the green grass.So they sat down in groups of hundreds and fifties. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to his disciples to distribute to the people. He also divided the two fish among them all. They all ate and were satisfied…                                              Mark 6:39-42

I think we can all relate to eating. It is a basic need to stay alive, of course, but eating is something that we do with great relish (pardon the pun). Jesus recognized that we can readily relate to stories about food in order to get to know the nature and character of God.

In the 23^rd Psalm, we see that God makes provision for his people. When Jesus was walking the earth, he used that same analogy, but he brought it to life when he stopped to feed the 5000 who had followed him and were now hungry. Jesus directed the people to “sit down on the green grass” and prepare to be fed. He saved them from the “want” of hunger, and he “prepared a table for them” in the green grass.

I was struck by this beautiful analogy while listening to a sermon from pastor Adam Hamilton a few weeks ago. God gets our attention when he feeds us. Jesus made sure that those who followed him were well fed. What a wonderful metaphor of God’s provision for us.

Prayer: You feed us day-to-day with so many benefits. Thank you for that provision, Amen

^“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.                                                            Genesis 50:20-21

I call it The Redemptive Principle. The passage in Genesis 50:20 embodies the principle of redeeming something bad into something good. I use this often with couples to explain that, for example, a seemingly devastating problem in the relationship can actually become the start of a healing that never could have happened unless the traumatic problem had never occurred. The relationship can be better than it ever could have been had the problems not occurred. We see this time and again, not just in relationships, but in tragic life events. Life altering suffering can work toward long-term good.

In the story of Joseph, had his brothers not treated him so badly- selling him into slavery after planning to murder him- he would not have been in the position of later saving them, and much of the Middle East area from starvation. Joseph himself had the presence of mind, and the influence of the Holy Spirit, to see the events in a larger panoramic. He saw that the evil actions of his brothers had been used by God for the salvation of many, including his nefarious brothers.

At the time of our trauma or tragedy we, of course, are unable to see the long-range arc of God’s redemption of those events. Much later, we can often look back and see God’s hand clearly in the process. Faith dictates that we anticipate that God has his hand on the process for his glory, and our good. This is hard to do. I tell my clients that I do not expect them to see this now. It would be unfair to burden them with this at the time of their pain and suffering. But I ask them to trust that there CAN be a greater outcome than ever could have been if the trauma had never happened. The relationship can be stronger than it ever could have been had the problems never occurred.

Naïve? Pie in the sky? No. I have seen this so many times that I am convinced of the truth of this principle. Yes, it takes time and perspective to see this principle come to fruition. Is it possible?

Yes!  If we allow such thinking, and we work in anticipation of that possibility.

Prayer: Your hand is at work in ways that we cannot understand, but we trust your provision for our ultimate good, Amen.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8 (KJV)

As we enter Thanksgiving week, I thought it would be a good time to re-run this blog from last November. I hope it reaffirms our faith in the goodness of simple everyday kindness all around us…

The police officer who pays for groceries for a vagrant instead of arresting him. The minimum wage clerk at McDonalds who pays the bill for a customer who forgot her wallet. The first person in line at a Starbucks drive-thru who pays for the person’s order behind him, setting off a chain of events of people paying for the person behind them. The teacher who buys school supplies for her students who cannot afford them. The truck driver who stops to change a flat tire for a stranded motorist. The line of people at the blood bank giving life-saving plasma. The volunteers who go to California to help fight forest fires. The outpouring of support after a natural disaster.

Should I go on? Not enough room in the blog. These events happen EVERY DAY. There are actually too many instances of giving and sacrifice to be documented here. These events typically do not make headlines. Maybe because they are too commonplace and we take them for granted. Maybe they do not fit the narrative of sensationalism that our news cycle craves. Whatever the reason, we must not lose sight of this aspect of our human character.

It is important to celebrate these little daily exercises of goodwill and humanity. Take heart my dear readers, goodwill and kindness abound, it just gets shut out of the headlines. Keep up your silent and important everyday deeds that help your fellow traveler on this earth.

That is what we need to keep in mind to stay focused on what our country, indeed every country needs. These things are what makes America great. Let’s not let that knowledge slip into the background too far.

Prayer: Lord, you have created us to live in community and to bear one another’s burdens. Help us to remember that wonderful aspect of your creation, Amen

But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.                                                  Matthew 5:48

“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.”                               Vince Lombardi

So, you want to be perfect. Great goal. Even Jesus said that we should be perfect, as his Father in heaven was perfect. So, let’s do this thing. Let’s be perfect.

Perfectionism can make us very anxious because we get frustrated in not having it all just right and under control. Anxiety tells us that we SHOULD be perfect, and anything less is inadequate. We are just not built that way. Less than perfect is OK. Giving up on the pursuit is not.

I tell my clients that the road to perfection is like a hyperbola. Remember algebra and the x and y axis? Parabolas and hyperbolas?

Neither do I.

But those concepts can be instructive for this discussion. I understand that from the mathematical equations in algebra, that the formulas for a hyperbola cannot generate a figure which actually touches the x or y axis. The figure can get closer and closer to the axis, but it does not reach it until infinity. Our quest is like that. We are to do the things that get us closer and closer to the goal.

So, we are on the road to perfection. We will never get there this side of heaven, but we are told to strive for it. We can get closer and closer, and that is our striving. But do not expect perfect. Don’t get weary in pursuit of it, but don’t expect to get it- at least not in this life.

Our fallen nature simply cannot allow for perfect. We can get very close in so many ways, but there are too many things that can get in the way of perfect in this world.

So, we pursue perfection, knowing that we cannot get there. The striving is the key. We keep working at doing better, working toward the ultimate goal. The striving IS the goal. Not the perfection, but the working toward it.   

So, when Jesus told us to be perfect, I think he meant, “Be on the road to perfection- be on the right road. As long as we are on the right road, we will ultimately reach his perfect place at the end.

Prayer: Thank you Father for the right directions toward you in Jesus.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)

A gentle response defuses anger,
    but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. Proverbs 15:1 (The Message)

I had opportunity the other day to cite this verse to clients in a marriage counseling setting. The truth of this passage from the book of Proverbs has been proven time and again in so many human encounters over the ages. A soft answer defuses anger.

I remember the nuns in grade school who lowered their voice when the class got a little loud. I was amazed that this technique actually was quite effective back then. Kids settled down to hear the teacher. Schools being vastly different these days, I’m not sure that the technique would work quite as well today. Maybe it would in some cases, but I digress. Soft answers can defuse volatile situations.

When tensions rise in a situation, the question becomes, who are the adults in the room? Who will be the responsible leader who first lowers the temperature in a pressure packed room by lowering his/her voice in that tense time? In times of high tension, people may naturally have their voices raised. But is that helpful? I suggest that it generally is not. Raised volume does not make an argument more cogent or persuasive. It has the effect of bringing, as Shakespeare said in Hamlet “more heat to the situation than light”.

In these days of political and social dysfunction. Soft answers may just be the thing that brings clarity and peace to discussions.

Prayer: Lord, give us the patience and insight to be light bearers in discussions, not heat bearers, Amen

 Yet he has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy                                                      Acts 14:17

Yes, ‘tis the season for comfort food! There is a season for comfort food you ask? Yes, I agree, we always like comfort food. It’s well, comfortable. It makes us feel better. We eat those high carbohydrate sugar bombs and we feel better. In fact, after we eat those foods, we are called to eat more of them. Our brain sends the signal that such delights should just keep coming. “Eat that again!” our brains say.

I said “this is the season” because as light becomes more scarce here in the northern hemisphere (you southern hemisphere folks are enjoying the increased hours of sunlight I’m guessing), one of our natural sources of serotonin is diminished- sunshine.

Another source of that serotonin is carbohydrates. Those carbs are precursors of serotonin, and our body is craving more serotonin as light becomes a little less available to us. The phenomenon, of course is called Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D). We somewhat unconsciously seem to crave more carbohydrates as the amount of available light in our environment diminishes. This coincides nicely with the American holiday cycle of Thanksgiving and Christmas, where eating becomes a national pastime. That season, my friends, is upon us.

So, my word today is this. Just be aware of your food responses to the season. Yes, enjoy holiday festivities. Life is short! Just also be aware that eating is not the only way to deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Be intentional about getting whatever light you can by being outdoors. Yes, it’s cold, so bundle up and try to get some outdoor exercise.

Your body will thank you come March.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us our daily bread, and we are grateful. Give us wisdom in how we proceed with your gifts, Amen

Since you have been chosen by God who has given you this new kind of life, and because of his deep love and concern for you, you should practice tenderhearted mercy and kindness to others                        Colossians 3:12

 I was talking with a couple in a counseling session a few weeks ago, and the husband mentioned that when the couple ordered pizza for the family, his wife sometimes really didn’t consider his request for the kind of pizza they would order. She would order what the kids had asked for, but sometimes didn’t include him in what he would like. She may have assumed that she knew what he liked, or perhaps she thought that he didn’t care enough to speak up, so she just made a decision.  

A little thing to be sure. But he took it as another reminder that she wasn’t considering his needs or wants. Indeed, with this couple, there had been an emotional disconnect that is far more than about pizza. We talked about this situation, and it gave us the opportunity to discuss those issues that were underneath the little pizza situation.

Studies show that when couples practice simple kindness to one another- just showing courtesy and polite behavior- that behavior goes a very long way in increasing couple satisfaction. Yes, people can take each other for granted, and we all are guilty at one time or another of doing that, but those small kindnesses become big things over time. Practicing politeness and courtesy to one another seems like a little thing. But remember, “it’s not about the pizza”.

Prayer: Lord, keep us always mindful of those whom we hold dear so that we can display that love regularly, Amen

I remember my first New Year of the change of a decade. It was the end of the 1950’s – December 31, 1959. We had great anticipation for 1960. Lots of hype about “Go like 60!” That was even a slogan for some advertisers. There was a hamburger place in Cincinnati called the “Sixty Second Shop” and they too tagged on to the new decade with the jingle. The 1960’s were going to be an exciting time! The 1950’s were going to be over.

Little did we know what the 1960’s were really going to be like, but when you were 9, going on 10 years old, it was really very cool time to be alive. There was a Presidential election coming up, and it looked like this young, good-looking fellow named John F. Kennedy, a Catholic Democrat, would be running for the office. My family was totally behind this guy.

Of course, he was elected in November, 1960, and he served until that fateful day- November 22, 1963. That was the real end of the 1950’s.

Much has been written about the historical effects of his assassination, and I can tell you that the impact of that act affected our country in ways we cannot really comprehend or document. It was the end of an innocent age. The 1950’s were the days of post-war America where we defined ourselves as a country. Post-war periods seem to have peculiar effects on countries. The economy, the international worldview, the desire for a new start, all combined to define an era that cannot ever be recaptured- only looked at wistfully.

The day that John F. Kennedy was slain, people of a certain age can tell you exactly what they were doing when they heard the news. They can tell you what they were feeling, what they were thinking, and how their lives were changed. Everything changed. The world was no longer the safe predictable place we had grown up in. Yes, the Cold War had been on for years, but Kennedy had helped steer us through the Cuban missile crisis, and life was again safe and predictable. But on November 22, 1963, that all changed. That was the day the 1950’s really ended. It was the end of the “feel good”, carefree era. Technically, the 1950’s ended on December 31, 1959.

 But for many of us, looking back, the 1950’s ended that terrible day in Dallas, Texas, on November 22, 1963.