“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.                                                                                                                                                                     Luke 1:38

In former blogs, I have talked about the unique use of the word “grace” (charitoo) used only twice in the Bible. Once it was used as the word to describe the grace given to Mary when she assented to accepting the role of “God carrier” from the angel who declared her to be the vessel to carry Jesus into the world. The other instance is when Paul told the Ephesian believers that they had that same grace to carry the message of healing to a broken world. So, I think we have established that this seems to be a unique calling that we have, akin to Mary’s role as giving birth to the Savior.

It also struck me that Mary had a say in this. This was not some edict that God enforced on Mary. While she had been set apart for this important mission, she did have a decision to make. She did not need to sign up for this assignment that was fraught with pain, anxiety and uncertainty. She could have said “No”.

But Mary did not say no. Because of that, we have a wonderful plan, an unsurpassed story that we celebrate every year. Mary agreed to be the human host of the “Lamb of God”.

So too do we have a say in our part of the plan of being “God carriers”. We can agree to it and bear the costs attendant with it, as well as the rewards of it. Mary’s agreement was the start of God’s plan of redeeming his lost sheep. Our agreement keeps that legacy going forward.

Prayer: Every day we have the opportunity to say “Yes” to your plan. Give us continued grace to do so, Amen.

 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye                                    Matthew 7:3-5

I recently saw a client who is struggling in her marriage. As we talked it became clear that she was feeling resentment for being manipulated by her husband over many years of her marriage. She also recognized that she was complicit in this, allowing such behavior because she is a pleaser who tries to avoid arguments.

After much discussion, she saw that those resentments were her responsibility. Yes, she had allowed her husband’s manipulations, yet she harbored resentments. We discussed the fact that she could control her reactions to his manipulative behavior. He is not a bad man, or even a bad husband, but he does have his own problems, which get played out on her. He needs his reckoning, but that is his responsibility to own. She will not be able to force it on him.

Once she realized that she did have control- of her own reactions, not his behavior- she felt a sense of relief. She will be more aware of her own reactions and feelings in the future. She will give up trying to “read his mind” to ensure that he feels OK, because she is not responsible for his feelings, only her own.

I love it when client’s take good ownership of their own feelings and behaviors, and do not cast blame on others. Yes, we are all broken, and we do things that are selfish and hurtful. When we can take ownership of that, and change our own response, and not expect that we can change others, we get peace.

Prayer: Lord, help us to own our own responses before we blame others, Amen.

Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 46:10

You’ve heard the expression many times- “Less is more”. So true in many situations. Have you seen some of the outdoor decorations for Christmas? Let’s just say that some of them put Clark W. Griswold to shame. The same is true for many public speeches. An oration that goes on for an hour typically loses its listeners after 20-30 minutes. Some of you may recall a recent post where I reprinted the Gettysburg Address. This exceptionally brief speech is venerated over a century and a half after it was given.

Less is more.

I was thinking of this earlier today as I pondered the daily Jumble in the newspaper. (Yes, I do the Jumble, don’t judge me.) Often when I cannot think of the word, I simply look away and take my mind off the puzzle word. Bam! The answer appears. Working less hard on it often gives success.

Such is true of many things in life. When we let go of overworking or overthinking on something, the pause gives us the answer. So, let’s embrace the paradox. Know that God has the answers that we do not, and that is where the answers need to be.

Prayer: Lord, help us to pause to hear your answers, Amen

But you, Bethlehem, David’s country,
    the runt of the litter—
From you will come the leader
    who will shepherd-rule Israel.
He’ll be no upstart, no pretender.
    His family tree is ancient and distinguished.
Meanwhile, Israel will be in foster homes
    until the birth pangs are over and the child is born,
And the scattered brothers come back
    home to the family of Israel.
He will stand tall in his shepherd-rule by God’s strength,
    centered in the majesty of God-Revealed.
And the people will have a good and safe home,
    for the whole world will hold him in respect—
    Peacemaker of the world                                                                                                                                         Micah 5:2-4 (The Message)

The Book of Micah in the Old Testament was written about 500 years before the birth of Jesus, which it prophesied. The above passage predicts that the birthplace of the anticipated Savior would be in the very unlikely place of Bethlehem. The Hebrew people were waiting for the arrival of the Messiah who would relieve them of their constant oppression at the hands of pagans and infidels who enslaved them and persecuted them constantly.

I was struck this morning with the idea of a long wait. Waiting is hard when we are looking for relief of pain or suffering. It is hard to wait when we are anticipating a great blessing that has been promised. We want relief and resolution NOW!

During this Christmas season, children can hardly contain themselves in waiting for December 25^th. I remember as a child, the agonizing wait until we could open presents on Christmas Eve before we went to midnight Mass. Waiting is hard! The time goes by s-o-o-o s-l-o-w-l-y.

I am sure that the Hebrew people were used to waiting. Indeed, the annual Seder meal ends with the phrase “Next Year in Jerusalem!”. The idea of course is to call to mind the hope of eventual redemption in a Jewish homeland that is secure. The Jewish people are the model for the ability to wait!

Americans, generally, are not very good about waiting. We are restless and impatient, wanting to make things happen now. That is a strength of the American people, but to the extreme, like any strength, it becomes a weakness. It is so hard to wait.

Advent is a season of waiting. We await Christmas. We await good news to alleviate suffering around the world. We await a return to normal when our lives are disrupted. The Book of Micah foretold an event that was some 500 years away, and its fulfillment was perfect in its timing.

I trust that our wait is worth it. The delivery that God promises is on time, even if it is not always on OUR time schedule.

Prayer: Lord, your timing is perfect, even as our abilities to wait are not. We trust in your timing and provision, Amen.

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,..

 Philippians 1:3

Happy Thanksgiving my dear readers! Other countries around the world also celebrate a day of thanksgiving, and I think that is a natural and right thing to do. We recognize the blessings we have been given by God, especially the gift of life itself.

So, on this Thanksgiving Day in the United States, I am so thankful for the life that has been given to me, my family, my health, and so much else. Also on this day, I am thankful for you, my readers. May you have a blessed and joyful day, wherever you may live, in whatever country you may be reading this.

Happy Thanksgiving!

For many of my readers, I need not write any more. When they see that date, they instantly remember what I am talking about, where they were when they heard the news, and how it changed their life. That was exactly 60 years ago today.

Of course, this was the date of the signal event of the Baby Boomer generation, and indeed, of all who were living on that date. It was the date of John F. Kennedy’s assassination. My younger readers may say that September 11, 2001 was their signal event, and I certainly understand that.

In my eyes, November 22, 1963 was the real date of the end of the halcyon days of the post World War II 1950’s. After that date, the 60’s began. Life got a little more unsettled. The American culture changed over the 1960’s ushering in a new generation and a new way of looking at America. We were less certain of things, and the pace of change in government, music, popular culture, style, education, entertainment etc. became dramatic.

I am sure that other eras of time could also be explained in the same type of terms by other people. My perspective, and that of many of my generation was changed that day. Maybe that was because I was 13 years old and starting adolescence. Maybe because I think America had a significant loss of innocence that day. Maybe because that was the gateway to a very violent 1960’s which witnessed the gun deaths of Martin Luther King Jr., Robert Kennedy, Malcolm X, and the attempted murder on presidential candidate George Wallace.

At any rate, take a moment to pause and reflect upon how that day affected you. Where were you when you heard the news? How did that feel to you? With whom did you share your pain and grief that day?

So, I will end on a better note. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a day to be grateful to God for his blessings and protection. May you have a wonderful day with friends and family!

Blessings…

He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak                            Isaiah 40:29

Often, other people see things in us that we do not see in ourselves. One of the things that I do as a counselor is get to know my clients, and try to see in them things that they may not see for themselves. Indeed, clients give me permission to speak into their lives, giving them constructive feedback, as well as encouragement. It is an act of humility on the part of a client to give such permission, especially to someone that they do not know. They are showing a level of trust in me before they even know me. I deeply appreciate that trust, and it is my job to honor that by being truthful, holding their best interest at stake, keeping their information confidential, and seeing them as God does as best I can.

As people unfold their story to me, I can gradually get to know how they see the world. I also begin to see strengths in them that they may not see, or maybe they have never given the chance to develop. It is my job to look for those strengths so that we can employ them in dealing with problems, or helping them to manage those strengths better. Remember, strengths to an extreme can become weaknesses, so we must learn to manage those strengths well.

We saw when Jesus chose his disciples that he picked people who were not, in the world’s eyes, the most successful people, or the most learned people. Yet Jesus saw something in them that they did not see in themselves.

John, for example, was called, along with his brother, “a son of thunder” because he had a volatile temper, and an arrogant view about his position in life. Simon, later called Peter, was an exuberant, impulsive, man who frequently spoke before he thought.  He was not the most stable of people in making commitments.

Yet Jesus saw in them characteristics that they did not see themselves. Their affiliation with Jesus transformed them into the men they could be. Jesus had seen that potential, and he spoke that into them.

John later became the loving apostle who wrote such beautiful commentary on how we should love one another. Volatile Simon became “Peter, the Rock”, the one on whom Jesus said he would help build his church. Imagine Simon hearing that he was a “rock”- a solid, capable man of strength. Sometimes, when we hear about the person who we CAN become, we DO become that person.

Prayer: Father, thank you for people who see things in us that we do not see for ourselves. Give us the humility to receive it well, Amen.

Carrying out this social relief work involves far more than helping meet the bare needs of poor Christians. It also produces abundant and bountiful thanksgivings to God. This relief offering is a prod to live at your very best, showing your gratitude to God by being openly obedient to the plain meaning of the Message of Christ. You show your gratitude through your generous offerings to your needy brothers and sisters, and really toward everyone            II Corinthians 9:12-15 (The Message)

This is Thanksgiving week, and it is also a favorite time of year for me. It brings back memories of past family holidays, traditions, and feelings of warmth and goodwill. It is a reminder, as if we should need it, that we are incredibly blessed and that sincere gratitude is in order for those blessings.

I suggest to my clients that starting the day with gratitude sets the tone for the day. We can be thankful for a bed to sleep in, clothes to wear, a nice warm shower, even the fact that we woke to another day. In other words, everything that we might otherwise take for granted. People in recovery often are challenged by a sponsor to make a gratitude list in order to shape their attitude for the day. You know, “an attitude of gratitude”.

So, as we start this Thanksgiving week in the United States, we are officially and collectively called to be thankful for our many blessings. Doing this daily on a personal level is a healthy way to keep that good attitude that gets us through days that are sometimes challenging.

Prayer: Lord, you are the giver of good gifts, and we are grateful for those blessings, Amen

As I do every year on November 19^th, I reprint the greatest speech ever given on American soil.  Abraham Lincoln had the gifts of humility and brevity, and both are clear in this marvelously understated and powerful speech. I reprint it in these days of political turmoil when our politicians desperately need to see that virtues such as humility and empathy are not signs of weakness in leaders, but indicators of great strength. Without further explanation, I defer to the great President and orator, Abraham Lincoln…

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But in a larger sense we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us, that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion, that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

This is a reprint of an older blog to enjoy while I take some time off for vacation. Hope you enjoy it…

I looked back in some old files and found a document that I had written just after my wife and I had led a leadership group for a select group of 17-year-olds from our city. In that program, we introduced them to community leaders, showed them how a number of non-profit agencies in the community worked together to help people, and taught them things we had learned from our own experience as we lived and worked in our town.

After that program, I wrote a list of the 10 things that I wished someone had shared with me when I was 17 years old. Here is that list that I shared with those young people…

1. It takes so little to be above average. An extra 15 minutes a day spent in reading, journaling, self-reflection, or writing a note to someone can set one apart as “above average”
2. Whenever possible, do not use the word “they” when talking about a group or place of employment of which you are a part. Try to use the word “we”. It implies ownership of what is going on, not shifting blame when something goes wrong.
3. Other people generally want to be liked as much as you do.
4. Life is about people, not projects, not success, not grades, not money.
5. Jobs come and go, but you only get one family.
6. Employers are usually looking for character more than skill. They can teach skills, not character
7. If you can laugh at yourself, you will receive grace from others.
8. Be able to say “I’m sorry”
9. Praise people in public, and correct them in private.
10. Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive!

So that’s it. Plenty more things that 17-year-olds need to learn, but that is my hot list for today. What’s yours?