He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end                                  Ecclesiastes 3:11

Does time go faster as we age? Yes, it does! And no, it doesn’t. How can that be? Well, time goes at the same pace all the time, as long as we are not approaching the speed of light, and I don’t think that we are. At least not yet.

However, our perception of time changes as we get older. Since those of us with some decades under our belt have a breadth of experience with time, time seems to go quickly. We have many years to compare the passage of time with. Younger folks have less experience with time. For instance, a year is a significant proportion of a 6-year old’s life. In fact, about 16 % of it.  

For some of us older folks, one year is only perhaps one seventieth of it, or around 1.4% of it. So, a year to a 6-year-old is a long time. For those of us in our seventies, it is a mere blip on the screen. Perhaps too, we see the passage of time differently in other ways. We feel that time may be running away from us, while a 6-year-old cannot wait until that next year is completed!

So, you get my drift. The perception of time is indeed relative. Therefore, we are encouraged to cherish each day as a gift from God. One more day he has given us to live in his amazing creation!

Prayer: Lord, help us to redeem each precious day! Amen

and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.” Then Abimelek king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her.                                                                                          Genesis 20:2

I am continuing the discussion of the “peaceful type” today. Yesterday, I explored the strengths of the peaceful type. Today, we look at those strengths if they are not managed well.

The reluctance of the phlegmatic temperament (the peaceful type) to be more proactively engaged with others can be construed by others as aloofness and a lack of involvement. Distance, perhaps, can be inferred. Their willingness and ability to see both sides can also be a way of simply not taking a stand in order to avoid social risks.

Finally, the unwillingness to commit can also be a way to avoid difficult decisions, or the desire to not offend others, leading to sacrificing truth for peace. As we see in the Bible verse above, Abraham slanted the truth (see Genesis 20:12) in order to have peace with he and his wife Sarah in Egypt.

All of the temperament types have wonderful strengths, but if those strengths are not managed well, they become weaknesses. In past blogs I have discussed the other temperament types. If you let me know, I will gladly go over those as well in the future.

In the meantime- “Go in peace! 😊

Prayer: Lord, you have made us in your image. Help us to honor you in that, Amen

So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herders and mine, for we are close relatives.  Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I’ll go to the right; if you go to the right, I’ll go to the left.”                 Genesis 13:8-9

I spoke recently with a client about her husband’s temperament. I explained that his temperament was that of the phlegmatic, a temperament type whose main strength is being a peacemaker and conciliator. That strength makes phlegmatic types great team members, ones who make the whole team function better.  

I likened this type to the catalyst platinum. If you add platinum to certain chemical reactions, it speeds up the reaction, but often it then precipitates out of the chemical solution, not being part of the final product.

Do you know someone who has the phlegmatic temperament? They are often more introverted, not putting themselves forward, and may be reticent to get involved in areas where they have not been specifically invited. They have a lot to offer, but they usually need to be invited to participate, not wanting to push themselves on people. They are peacemakers who value peace over conflict. They make great ambassadors who are able to see both sides of an issue, but they are often reluctant to weigh in on one side over another.   

Of course, this is a very brief and cursory explanation of the type, but I explained this to the client who has trouble with her husband’s temperament. Tomorrow, I will discuss the strengths of this temperament, which, if not manage well, becomes a weakness.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for how you make people in different temperament types, flavors and colors, Amen

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I often am in the business of educating my clients about their anxiety and depression. Specifically, I give them tools to be able to handle such conditions, and one of the things I typically tell them is that fighting these problems is a team sport, not an individual one. By that I mean is that success in dealing with mental health issues is achieved by naming the teammates who are in the fight with you. Don’t try to go it alone.

Healing is done in community. Those that love us are wanting to engage in the fight with us. When the anxiety feels overwhelming, you call on a teammate. When you are awash in depression and feel defeated, call on a teammate.

What stops us from getting the help? I suppose there are lots of reasons. First, we must be willing to admit that fighting alone is not usually successful. Reaching out for help is difficult, it can be awkward, and it makes us feel vulnerable.

However, reaching for that help is the first victory. Just by admitting that we need help, want help, is the first and most important step in that healing. Contacting a therapist is an important step, but it is not the only one. Gather a team of people who care about you, and let them know of your plan to seek help.

You are on your way to healing.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see the power of a helping team, Amen

 “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Matthew 14:12-14

Jesus used various opportunities to teach his disciples. Once, on the way to a party of a prominent Pharisee, he chose to heal a man on the Sabbath. This was just the warm-up for future paradoxical teachings that day.

Upon arriving at the house of the Pharisee, he noted that people were jostling for position at the head tables. He told his disciples to pick the lower, less prominent seats. In that way, they could be asked to move up to the front. If they chose a front seat, they risked the embarrassment of being asked to move down in the social pecking order.

Finally, he told his host, When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid.  But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

His message? Don’t follow usual social conventions. He was saying that his world view flew in the face of the world’s expectations. This is the concept of “contra mundum”. That is, going against the conventions of the world system.

We as Christians are always being asked to determine our values in light of how Jesus sees the world, not popular conventions. So, care for the poor and marginalized is a value that Jesus holds. We need to decide how that drives our own value system.

Prayer: Lord, help us to follow your road less travelled, Amen

“What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body.”                           Caroline Myss

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.                                                                                                                                                                  Psalm 139:14

The mind-body connection is a fascinating thing. I mean, we really cannot sperate the two because they are part of the whole- the components- that, along with our soul makes us…us. Our physical health and our mental health are inextricably connected. In fact, both affect one another constantly and often in subtle ways.

People who are under chronic stress age more quickly than those under less stress. The presence of stress hormones coursing through our body, especially when they should not be present at high levels, causes us to die prematurely.

I was recently talking with a client who had been raised in a dysfunctional family, where neglect was a way of life. It is the only way she knew to perceive the world. We discussed the effects of this, and it can properly be called trauma, even though she was not physically or sexually abused. Her way of looking at the world, and relationships, was altered in a way that caused her chronic stress.

She was always vigilant of the world around her, a world which was not seen as particularly safe or supportive. She learned to “read people” and find ways to navigate situations to ensure that she was emotionally safe, perhaps even physically safe.

Eventually, her body began to tell her that this was not healthy. She got into counseling, found that vigorous exercise was a way that she could find control and safety, and she eventually came to have excellent insight into how to better navigate a world that was not perpetually threatening to her.    

Our health care system seems to do an excellent job at treating illnesses when they are discovered. But our system does not do very well at prevention of problematic lifestyle issues, and the chronic stresses that we face which can lead to physical health problems.

Our reminder- physical, spiritual and emotional health are inextricably tied together. Proper healthcare means that we pay attention to all aspects of our being.

Prayer: Lord, you have designed us to have true integration of mind, body and Spirit. Help us to care for all parts of us, Amen

Feeling like visiting the wayback machine again. Even that reference, “the Wayback Machine” harkens back to a wonderful, underappreciated show from my youth, The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show”.

I got into the mood as I was grilling some pork chops for dinner, and listening to 50’s and ‘60’s music on Pandora radio. We had pork chops, corn on the cob, and tomatoes for dinner- the perfect summer fare, right? Yes! Except that tomatoes aren’t tomatoes anymore. You know, “old timey” tomatoes had great texture, wonderful fresh taste, and… well, they just don’t taste that way anymore.

Yes, I can perhaps rightly be accused of being that old guy in the rocker on the porch who says that “things aren’t like they used to be! Research tells us that our farming industry has made some trade-offs. Apples, tomatoes, and other produce are now less genetically diverse, more disease resistant, and much blander in flavor. They have a longer shelf life, are more uniform in size and color, but less appealing to the taste.

So, this is not so much a rant as a recognition that there is a price to pay for success in any endeavor. We just have to decide, is it worth it? Indeed, in the attempt to feed the world in an efficient and sustainable manner we must make some hard choices. I understand.

But I miss the tomatoes.  

Are there things that you are putting off doing? I would bet that there are. Just like everybody, there are some things that you have avoided doing, or been “putting them off” for one reason or another. I have found that doing just one of those things- that phone call, that appointment- whatever it is, will give you the momentum to do more of those nagging tasks that are just waiting out there that you have said you were going to do someday.

Those little things that you are putting off are probably causing a low level of stress that you may have been carrying for a long time. By doing just one of those little tasks, you open the door to change your whole attitude and outlook.

Remember one of my sayings- “change one thing, change everything”. By overcoming the inertia of completing just one simple task, you open up the door for a relief of an underlying stress. You can change your whole outlook.

That’s it. That’s the whole message today. Do one thing, one little thing, that you have been putting off, and see how relieved you will feel!

Prayer: Lord, help us to do that one little thing today, Amen

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us                          I John 1:8

I recently had a discussion with a client about taking an honest inventory of our broken areas. Such self-awareness exercises are healthy and important aspects of not only maintaining good mental health, but of accepting our personhood.

We cannot hide from ourselves. If we try, it always comes out badly in the end. Being honest with God and ourselves about our resentments, our hurts, our disappointments etc. is a healthy exercise.

The paradoxical result is that we, having come to some better understanding of our broken areas, feel better about ourselves. We can be honest with ourselves. We can recognize some resentments that have become grievance narratives that we tell ourselves that have become the basis for negative images of our situation.   

Sometimes, we have grievances toward God that we do not want to admit or acknowledge. But let’s face it- God already knows our heart, so why not admit those disappointments? Phillip Yancey wrote a book many years ago entitled Disappointed With God. In that book, he simply acknowledges that as human beings, we have a mind and will that have expectations of God that will simply not happen the way we want.

So, my friends, the truth sets us free. Let us have a look at ourselves, and take that inventory that sets us free.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for making us beings that can question ourselves, Amen

Again, I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”                                                                  Matthew 19:24

This passage, from Matthew chapter 19 is often referenced when discussing the role of wealth in salvation. I think the answer is that it has nothing to do with salvation. Yet what we do with wealth is all important.

I think Jesus gave this metaphor to let people know that wealth can actually be a hindrance to a God-directed life. Some people of wealth confuse their wealth with God’s blessing upon their life. Sometimes wealthy people feel that they have done it all on their own, and that they do not need God or anyone else in order to be just fine in life.

In other words, wealth can be interpreted in many ways that suit our personal narrative. I think Jesus used this opportunity to explain that wealth can be an obstacle for people in their search for eternal life. In this case, I think Jesus was saying, yes, it is just as impossible for wealth to get us into heaven as it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

Our own efforts and wealth can never get us into God’s Kingdom. It is only dependence upon God that can get us into his kingdom. Our own efforts will never be good enough.  

Fortunately, our remedy is trust in Jesus and submission to his plans for our life.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for your plans which are higher than ours, Amen