Going Toward the Good or Escaping the Bad?

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.                                                                                                                                               Philippians 4:8-9 (The Message)

One of the concepts that I frequently discuss with my clients is that of motivation. Motivation can be positive or negative. In aspiring to a goal or a “desired place”, we may have several motivators in place. We are complex beings, so simple answers are often insufficient to explain all the factors that move us. Yet it is good to try to determine, “what is my true motivator?”

I tend to think that positive motivators, that is, going toward a goal is a better and more satisfying motivator than a negative one. A negative motivator looks like, escaping from a painful or disagreeable situation.

Take a job change, for example. If we are in a bad job, one that drains us or causes undue anxiety, we probably want to get away from it. The motivation is escape. While in the short run  another job may look like the answer, it may not solve the real problem. We may take the first job opening that comes up as an answer for the bad job. If that new job is not satisfying either, we have just traded problems, with no solution.

If, on the other hand, we are drawn to another job that is really part of our skills, experience and calling, that is a much better motivator. There is a much better likelihood of success and fulfillment.

This concept is true for many decisions that we make. Moving toward a high value is more energizing that trying to escape a bad situation. Running away is tiring. Moving toward a vision is energizing.

Prayer: Lord, help us to discern the things to move toward, and what we may be running from, Amen.

Every Time I Think of You…

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.                                                                                              Philippians 1:3

Just a simple thought and a humble request today. Join me in praying for our front-line health care workers. The physical and emotional toll on them during this COVID-19 pandemic is incalculable. They experience chronic trauma, dealing with very sick and dying patients- patients for whom they toil to save, and grieve when they are lost.

I personally see the mental health effects on my clients, who already carry the burdens of anxiety, depression, PTSD, or a host of other mental health problems. Add to this the stress of quarantine, feelings of loss of control, uncertainty about loved ones, management of co-morbid physical conditions, marital stress, etc. and we see that the long-term consequences of this disease will not be known for some time to come.

Our health care workers carry even more stress than I can imagine. So, when you see a physician, nurse, nurse practitioner, aides, health-related staff of any kind, and hospital support workers, etc., THANK THEM sincerely, then pray for them.

Prayer: Father, you know the stress and pain our health professionals carry. Lift them up now, keep them safe, and have your Holy Spirit remind them that they are loved and appreciated, Amen.

Reasoning Together

While Paul was waiting for them in Athens, he was deeply troubled by all the idols he saw everywhere in the city.  He went to the synagogue to reason with the Jews and the God-fearing Gentiles, and he spoke daily in the public square to all who happened to be there.

 He also had a debate with some of the Epicurean and Stoic philosophers. When he told them about Jesus and his resurrection, they said, “What’s this babbler trying to say with these strange ideas he’s picked up?” Others said, “He seems to be preaching about some foreign gods.”

 Then they took him to the high council of the city. “Come and tell us about this new teaching,” they said.  “You are saying some rather strange things, and we want to know what it’s all about.”  (It should be explained that all the Athenians as well as the foreigners in Athens seemed to spend all their time discussing the latest ideas.)

 So, Paul, standing before the council, addressed them as follows: “Men of Athens, I notice that you are very religious in every way,for as I was walking along, I saw your many shrines. And one of your altars had this inscription on it: ‘To an Unknown God.’ This God, whom you worship without knowing, is the one I’m telling you about

Acts 17:16-23

I have always been fascinated with how Paul, the noted follower of Jesus and advocate for the Good News was able to engage people in order to talk with them about Jesus. The best example for me was when he went to Athens, the seat of various philosophies of the world. Paul did not simply go to the marketplace and tell people that they were heading in the wrong direction. He went to engage the Epicureans and Stoics who were the leading philosophical minds of the time. They had built numerous idols, not wishing to upset any of the possible gods they worshiped, and they even set up an idol to the “Unknown God”, just to be sure to cover their bases.

Paul listened respectfully to these philosophers, and then noted the idol to the “Unknown God”. He took this opportunity to explain that this unknown god was the God he worshiped. The one unknown to them, he would make known.

I think Paul was brilliant in how he engaged people. He did not talk down to them. He did not disrespect them. He engaged them to discuss truth. What an example in these days when we have divided into camps of “us and them”. Engaging people is a loving thing to do. Paul knew that all he needed to do was to speak the truth in love. The Holy Spirit of God does all the rest.

Prayer: Lord, give us the patience and wisdom to simply speak the truth in love, and let you do the rest, Amen.

Joseph Shepherd Chs. 17-18

Chapter 17

As the Intrepid was being sailed into port, Shepherd and I were having a conversation with William Bradford and James Mullins. “Such a shame about the Intrepid, what really happened on that voyage?” asked Bradford. I began to try to explain to Bradford what had happened on board the Intrepid, but I realized that I had no explanation for the strange tale of the Intrepid. How does one begin to tell of treachery, disease, battle, deceit, natural disasters, and, in the end, destruction? “The ship lost its purpose”, said Shepherd. “The grab for power overcame the natural purpose of the ship. In the end, ambition, glory, and pride caused this disaster.”

“Could a good leader have prevented this?” asked Bradford. “Yes, a courageous leader could have kept the focus”, said Shepherd. “A leader who knows his mission can lead people past disaster into promise,” he said. “Like Moses?” asked Bradford. “Yes, like Moses” said Shepherd.

“I have been reading about Moses”, said Bradford. “He led his people through the perils of the desert, selfless in his desire to get them to the Promised Land.” “Yes, said Shepherd, “that is true, but his goal was not the Promised Land, his goal was to do the will of God.”

Bradford reflected on that statement for a while. He had been thinking a great deal about his own ability to lead his people to the Promised Land of America. He wondered how he could govern his people, and lead them on a ship across an ocean. He desperately wanted to be a good leader, and he needed to do more than simply get them safely to America. He must care about their souls as well as their bodies. He must help them to true freedom in every sense, not just religious freedom from King James’ tyranny.

Shepherd continued, “People need something to reach for, not just run away from.” “You will never succeed if you simply escape the tyranny of King James, you must build a land of freedom for your people”, said Shepherd.

“I know that I must lead in that way”, said Bradford, “and I want to establish a place where people are free to worship God without the King deciding the religion of the land.”  “Yes”, said Shepherd, “and the people need to govern themselves. Government is good in that it allows people freedom to serve God and man”, said Shepherd. “In the book of Romans, Paul tells the Christians that government is established to preserve the peace so that people can worship and serve freely. People who govern themselves can only do so properly if they have a higher goal in mind. Look at the Intrepid. Pride and ambition are the sins which destroyed the ship. If people are dedicated to serve the Lord God, they will be able to govern themselves in peace, and God will prosper them.”  

“We must have a document that proclaims these ideas”, said Bradford. “We must make a compact which lays out these ideals which will serve as our basis of governance and order in America”, he said. “May God bless you in that endeavor”, said Shepherd.

Dr. Mullins was near tears as he listened to this discussion. He had, for years, struggled with his own convictions about personal and religious freedom. The upcoming trip to America would be his vindication of beliefs, as well as a chance to have a new start in life. His life had been broken by the execution of his brother because of his outspoken religious beliefs. Mullins had sworn to live a life worthy of his brother’s legacy, and to pass on to his children the need to stand up for convictions. He was already teaching his 10-year-old son to stand true to his beliefs. The trip to America would be a challenge for his young family, but he relished the chance to give his family a better life than his parents had experienced. In fact, his decision to become a physician was part of his idea to care for others as his life mission.

I too was quite taken with the conversation between Shepherd and Bradford. These were fascinating ideas being discussed, and I was enjoying the session immensely. “Be sure to bring cannon and powder”, I said, “not everyone has such lofty ideals.” Shepherd laughed, “Dr. Greene must always insert the other side of the equation.” “Leave the guns for King James”, Mr. Bradford, “you concentrate on leading your people to your King, not just away from the king of England.” 

Chapter 18

Lord Kensington and William Harvey set off for Portsmouth when word reached London that the Intrepid had arrived in port. The story had already taken on a life of its own, embellished by the reports of Alvin Toll. Toll had been spreading the news that he had saved Portsmouth from the rogue ship Intrepid. Toll’s story was that the shore batteries under his command had hit the Intrepid, split her mast, and forced the crew into surrender. The buzz from the story had been getting a good deal of attention in southern England, and even King James had heard a few variants of the story.

Kensington had left his wife behind in London where she and Edwin Carr were renewing their old friendship. Kensington seemed to care little that there was also some talk about the balls and gatherings they were attending together, and that Lady Kensington seemed to have reverted to her “pre-lady” days. Lord Kensington was putting his attention to the business to be done in Portsmouth. He also seemed to have an interest in the approaching departure of the Mayflower for America. Kensington believed that there might be a way to secure some trade connections with the trip. He would visit William Bradford to discuss such thoughts. Harvey was only interested in talking to Shepherd and me about the medical aspects of the Intrepid’s voyage.

Shepherd and I were about to say farewell to William Bradford and James Mullins as the Mayflower was ready to depart. Lord Kensington and William Harvey met us as we were heading out to the busy Mayflower. I was thrilled to meet Harvey who I had come to believe was a genius of growing proportion.

“Dr. Greene?” greeted Harvey as he jumped out of his carriage to meet us. I quickly introduced Harvey to Joseph Shepherd. I was amazed that they embraced on the spot in a spontaneous recognition of one another, though they had never met before that moment. Lord Kensington also seemed astounded at the sight, but he quickly recovered, and introduced himself to me. It somehow seemed that the two brilliant men in the group had gravitated to one another, leaving Kensington and me to recede into the shadows together. Our mundane conversation quickly led to expedient matters of the Mayflower’s departure, and Kensington’s desire to meet William Bradford. I told Kensington that I would arrange a brief meeting with Bradford if he so desired. Meanwhile, Shepherd and Harvey were already discussing new and fascinating medical ideas.

“Dr. Harvey, I know that you have had the benefit of studying with some of the masters on the Continent”, said Shepherd. “What is the most fascinating thing that you have discovered in your travels?” Harvey replied that his study of human cadavers had led him to speculate on the role of blood in the body. Harvey stated that he believed that blood circulated through the body, pumped by the heart, and conveyed by the veins throughout the entire body. While the exact process was not yet clear, Harvey could see the implications of radical changes in medical thought if this theory were true.

As usual, Shepherd had ideas of his own on the matter. As was also usual, Shepherd had both clinical and philosophical ideas on the blood. Shepherd began to explain to Harvey that the Bible indicated that the life of the body is in the blood, citing Leviticus 17:11. From this, Shepherd had, by intuition, agreed with Harvey that the life of the body is nourished in every organ by a fresh supply of circulating blood. Shepherd continued that he had seen healthy people become ill after having touched the blood of a sick person. Shepherd also said that he had seen people who were sick being bled by physicians as a treatment, and that he was appalled by the practice. Yet, many physicians persisted in the practice, despite limited results. Shepherd said that he was amazed that so many physicians would persist in a practice that did not yield good results. Harvey nodded in agreement. Harvey too was concerned that medical practice was carrying on treatments which could not be proven to be effective.

“Dr. Shepherd, I have heard that you are a man of faith, and that spiritual ideas seem to dominate your treatment methods, yet you defend scientific principles. How do you explain this paradox?” asked Harvey. “Well Dr. Harvey, I see no conflict between faith and science”, said Shepherd. “The same Creator who formed the earth put those very scientific principles in place. There is no conflict there. A man’s body can be healed in very predictable, scientifically explainable ways, yet the cure may be the forgiveness of his sins and the cleansing of his conscience”, continued Shepherd. That’s what Jesus said in the book of Luke, “Is it easier to say ‘get up and walk’, or ‘your sins are forgiven’. Both messages are healing.” 

Harvey and Shepherd continued discussing such ideas as Lord Kensington and I were boarding the Mayflower. While their minds were contemplating higher ideals, Kensington and I were thinking more along the lines of business and treasure in the New World.

“Lord Kensington,” I asked, “what is your interest in the voyage of the Mayflower?” “My interest,” said Kensington “is to start more tobacco planting in the New World. I would like Mr. Bradford to consider raising tobacco once his colony is established. The money from tobacco may be the real salvation of his religious journey”, sniffed Kensington. “They are not bound for Virginia”, I stated. “I do not know if tobacco grows in all parts of the New World.” 

Kensington seemed to have little interest in my comments about the climate in the New World. In fact, it appeared that he knew surprisingly little about America at all. I was stunned at this apparent ignorance. A man who made his wealth on commerce through trade and sailing ships around the world should be more attuned to such matters I thought to myself. Lord Kensington was more one-dimensional than I had imagined. His world was money.

Lord Kensington was looking for ways to grow tobacco outside of the control of Virginia. King James had restricted the importation, as well as the growing of tobacco. Kensington hoped that finding other places in the New World would allow for ways around the royal restrictions. Tobacco grown outside of Virginia, controlled by Kensington, and imported to England could bring great wealth. He knew also that men like Jacob Carr could help to arrange such deliveries. What Kensington needed was a connection in America. Perhaps William Bradford would see the value of marrying his mission with a way to finance it.

As we reached the Mayflower, there was a buzz of activity and excitement all around the port. William Bradford was buried in the flurry of details in preparation for departure. As we approached Bradford, he was cordial to me. As I tried to introduce Lord Kensington to him, Bradford was suddenly cool and distracted. Kensington pressed to discuss his idea of tobacco farming with Bradford. He quickly explained his idea to Bradford, and pointed out the economic benefits that tobacco could bring to the new settlement. Bradford heard Kensington out for a few minutes then interrupted, “My Lord Kensington, I thank you for your interest in our well-being, but I cannot commit to growing anything but food for my people. We are not interested in commerce, we are interested in freedom. We cannot be distracted from our mission. Now I really must be about my business.”

With that, Bradford was off to oversee the loading of salt fish, fresh water, and other provisions. Lord Kensington was angry, but he managed to hide it from those around him. He was very good at this. However, anyone who knew him, also knew that his anger, while hidden, would someday come to expression. Lord Kensington was always amazed at people who turned their back on making money. He simply could not understand them. 

Harvey and Shepherd were still engrossed in their conversation, which now had wandered to such topics as poverty, nutrition, and the divine right of kings. Harvey was fascinated by Joseph Shepherd, and he invited Shepherd to return to London with him.

“I beg you to come with me”, said Harvey, “have you ever been to London?” Harvey queried. Shepherd replied that he had not been to London, but he had done a good bit of traveling around the world, and Shepherd agreed that London would be a fascinating destination. Shepherd also stated that he had no immediate plans, and that he would accompany Harvey to London.

“Good, then it’s agreed, we shall leave tomorrow”, said a smiling Harvey. “I shall introduce you to King James”, continued Harvey. Shepherd thanked Harvey, and then he approached me. “Dr. Greene”, began Shepherd, would you please accompany me to London? The good Dr. Harvey has invited me, but I will not go unless you come also.”

I thought about the offer, and I realized that I had made no provision whatsoever for my next plans. My medical practice had virtually disappeared after the death of my wife three years earlier. I had begun to drink more heavily than I cared to admit, I had left my practice, and I had entered into the service of the Royal Navy. I too was running from my past, much like many of the sailors on the Intrepid.  I had supposed that I would go on to sail on the next voyage of one of the Royal Navy vessels, but I had not given much thought to that even though I had no real source of income secured. “Yes, I will come with you”, I said. I could not believe that those words had come from my mouth so quickly and comfortably. There just seemed to be something about Joseph Shepherd that drew me to where he was, and I agreed to follow him, having no plans, but having also, strangely, no fears.

“Lord Kensington”, said Harvey, “I fear that I have prevailed upon your good nature to invite these men back to London with us.” Kensington looked unfazed by the prospect. “As you wish, Dr. Harvey” said Kensington. “I would think that we could put these two men to work profitably for the East India Company.” I looked at Shepherd, amazed at my good fortune. Perhaps I would have plans after all, even if they were not of my own making. Perhaps those were the best plans to have.

Resumes and Epitaphs

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,                                                                                                                                                                                    Hebrews 12:1

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.                                                                         II Timothy 4:7

Just the other day I was thinking about my resume, and it dawned on me that, at my stage in life, a resume no longer serves me. It is the epitaph that now looms larger in importance. Now, I do not want to appear maudlin or melancholy here. I am perfectly fine discussing this idea, and it does not cause me any sadness. It merely is that stage of life where we are looking more backward than forward. My epitaph will actually contain my resume. However, we cannot lose sight of the fact that we must look forward!

All this to say, I need no resume for employment any more. Though we stop working for a living, we never stop our work. We have our calling and our abilities, and we must continue to use those abilities to serve out that calling. I believe that there is truth to the saying that “if you don’t use it, you lose it”. This is certainly true of our physical bodies, and I think it is true of other skills or conditions as well, whether emotional, mental or spiritual.

Paul talked about our need to “run our race”. I think that race lasts our whole lifetime.

I am thankful for that.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for giving us our calling, and the will to play it out for our whole life, Amen

Be Kind

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you                                                                                                    Ephesians 4:29-32

There is a little sign under the large message boards which post the symbols of city organizations and non-profits in my city, Troy, Ohio. Troy may be like a lot of little towns in this country. I love my city, as do most people who live in such quiet and caring communities like Troy.

That little sign says simply, “Be Kind”. It is a nice sentiment, and one that can be easily tossed aside as a trite saying. But the writer of Ephesians, Paul, gave this as a command for the little group of Believers in Ephesus. Paul told them to be kind and compassionate to one another. By treating others in that manner, they could show themselves to be different from angry and volatile religious leaders who were out punish those who might deviate from their own rigid stances.

Simple command, “Be Kind”. I suppose I will leave it at that dear reader.

Just be kind to one another.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be kind and compassionate to all whom we encounter, Amen

The Greatest…

 They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, “What were you arguing about on the road?”  But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.

 Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, “Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all.”

 He took a little child whom he placed among them. Taking the child in his arms, he said to them, “Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me.”                                                                                                           Mark 9:33-36 (NIV)

So, I can just imagine the conversation among the twelve disciples before Jesus confronted them about their bickering. They were ashamed because they were trying to decide among themselves who was the greatest. Maybe, most likely, they argued about who was the favorite of Jesus. These are grown men mind you, and they had been around Jesus for a while, and they were arguing over who was his favorite. They had, of course, completely missed his message, and the irony was, they were, in effect, trying to decide who missed his message the worst!

Jesus had to call them out by showing them, again, the paradox of power- the ones who give it away most effectively, are the ones who are the most successful.

I think about religious denominations which essentially argue, “Who has the path to God?” In other words, “who are God’s favorites?” The answer is, those who most effectively serve others without worrying about who gets credit. Wars have been fought over which Christian denomination is “right”. Pretty ridiculous, right? Yet it is human nature to be competitive with “closeness to God”.

So, we shouldn’t be too hard on the disciples. They just wanted to be the closest to Jesus. Great goal. The way to do that is to do his will, and to serve his children.

Prayer: Lord, your message is so simple that we often miss it. Thank you for your plan to be childlike to be close to you, Amen.

Words That Help…

Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
 Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
 who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
 who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
 who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

Psalm 103:1-5

I get the news from several sources during the day, and I guess that I watch or follow the news a bit too much. Maybe I am looking for a glimpse of hope about more vaccines rolling out. Maybe I want to see that the hospitalizations are declining in several places (they are). Maybe knowing is better than not knowing, even if the news is not good.

This evening, I did not find much by way of good news. The COVID-19 mutations are gaining ground, and vaccine production is not. The usual political fighting is still polarizing. The mudslides and tornadoes… OK, enough already.

I will not gain any serenity by rehashing the news that swirls about me. My serenity comes in knowing in whose hands we rest. Psalm 103, a section of which I quoted above, is full of reassurance and comfort. If you want a respite from the chaos, read Psalm 103 every day for the next week.

I bet it calms your soul.

Prayer: Father, thank you for the reassurance of your calming hand and your love for us, Amen.

So Long Henry Aaron…

Henry (Hank) Aaron died last week.

We baseball fans keep losing our heroes. Yes, athletes from all sports age, and eventually die. For me, the baseball heroes are personal, because I was Hank Aaron, and I was Roberto Clemente, and I was Stan Musial. When my brother and I played Wiffle Ball, we played with lineups comprised of those ballplayers. My brother Ed was always the Cincinnati Reds because… well just because. He is the older brother, so he got to be the Reds, our beloved hometown team.  

I was the National League opposition- the Cubs, Braves, Pirates, Cardinals, Giants, Dodgers, and Phillies. Therefore, I was the one who got to be Mays, and Aaron, Musial and Clemente, Banks and Snider and those other great stars. I also got to be lesser- known players like Daryl Spencer, Junior Gilliam, and Del Crandall. I was a LOT of ballplayers!

In those innocent days, I had no idea of the struggles that some of those players faced in real life. The things that Aaron, Mays, Banks and dozens of other African-American players endured was well beyond my thinking. It was, unfortunately, very real to them.

So, as these icons pass away, I think about what they did, both on and off the field. I wish that I could have had an appreciation for their struggles, but that information was kept well out of the reach of fans in those days. They were denied stays at team hotels in some southern cities, they received terrible abuse from fans, and they certainly did not get the endorsements that white players were able to get. Of course, until 1947, African-American players were not even allowed to play Major League Baseball.

So, this is my little tribute to players lost, most recently quiet Henry Aaron, the guy who spoke more with his bat than any other way. I miss being you guys. Thanks for giving me the chance to play that role so many years ago.

When We Fail…

So, let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.

Galatians 6:9-10 (The Message)

There was an experiment years ago conducted with people who were in a diet study. The trait in question was the ability to move past failure and to maintain sight on the goal. In the study, participants were given highly monitored daily diets. The calorie content was regulated, and participants were to eat exactly what was put before them.

One morning, the participants were given a high calorie milkshake. I’m sure that many questioned the wisdom of drinking all of those calories first thing in the morning. It was likely the vast majority of the allowance for the whole day, however, they complied.

Here is where the study got interesting. The researchers wanted to see how the participants reacted to the experiment. They broke the group down into two cohorts, based upon this experiment. After being given the milkshakes, the participants were given more ice cream and asked to respond about their favorite flavors. They were then allowed to consume as much ice cream as they desired.

Some members, feeling that they had already “blown the diet”, went ahead and ate more ice cream, conceding that they had “already blown it anyway” Other members, believing that they needed to cut down calories as much as possible after the morning milkshake, ate only what was necessary to go along with the trial of ice cream they had been asked to do.

The point became clear about the effect of “failing once”. Some members recognized that failing once was a problem, but with determination to reach their goal, they would try to overcome the morning’s indulgence. The other members, the “hell with it” group, gave themselves permission to fail again, convincing themselves that they had already lost that day.

Further study indicated that the group who gave in to “second failures” (the “hell with it” group) did poorer in achieving the goal of weight loss. Those who were able to keep their eye on the prize, recognized their first failure, but did not allow it to get in the way of success.

We all fail. The question is, what do we do when we fail? Do we shake it off and start anew, or do we give in to shame and failure and say, “the hell with it”?

God is the God of second chances, and many more…

Prayer: Lord, thank you for never giving up on us! Amen

Disclaimer: For this blog entry, I have taken the results of several such studies and, for illustration purposes, blended them together. What I described here are the tendencies found in the mindset of how some people see failure, and how they respond.