And that’s about it, friends. Be cheerful. Keep things in good repair. Keep your spirits up. Think in harmony. Be agreeable. Do all that, and the God of love and peace will be with you for sure.

II Corinthians13:11-13 (The Message)

I have written in the past that political rhetoric, over the years, has risen to bombastic and even ridiculous levels. This noise is around us at seemingly every turn, so what can we do for respite? How can we build some margins around us so that we can restore some peace amidst the chaos?

Here are some ideas for building those margins:

• Erect some boundaries on social media. Take a respite of a few days from Facebook, Twitter, etc. and the myriad of social media which engulfs us. It will be OK to do that, trust me.
• Make sure you make time for exercise, just for you. Walk outside, do the treadmill, do your aerobics in your own home- whatever you do. Just do it (to co-opt a phrase).
• Get into nature. Visit a lake, a woods, the mountains, a beach. Enjoy God’s marvelous creation.
• Exercise silence. Nothing wrong with being silent. In fact, silence can be very healing.
• Journal your thoughts and feelings. It is just your time to go inward.
• Listen to music, it can soothe your soul

These are just a few ideas which can be restorative. Let me know what works for you!

Prayer: Father, you want peace for us in all ways. Give us the desire to seek your peace, Amen

(def.):

a seemingly absurd or self-contradictory statement or proposition that when investigated or explained may prove to be well founded or true:

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.”                                                                Isaiah 55:9

One of the things, maybe the biggest factor, in my admiration of how God works, is the way that the Bible turns things upside down. Actually, it is the way that the Bible describes how God turns things upside down. Let me give you a few of the many examples in the Bible:

• The last shall be first (Matthew 20:16)
• The poor of the world to be rich (James 2:5)
• The meek shall inherit the earth (Matthew 5:5)
• When I am weak, then I am strong (II Corinthians 12:10)
• Rejoice in suffering (James 1:2)
• The weakest and youngest are to supplant the older and stronger (David chosen as future King); (the story of Jacob and Esau)
• The story of David and Goliath (I Samuel 17)
• Rich to be humbled (James 1:10)
• Those who lead must first be servants of others (Matthew 20:27)

A reasonable understanding of the ministry of Jesus was that he came to turn religious thinking on its head. He criticized the religious leaders of the day because they had lost the spirit of the law, and the message of the heart of God.

It is not just these isolated instances (cited above) that point to the truth of how God works. The fabric that they weave in the Bible is one of paradox. What we logically think is the way things should work, turn out to be, in God’s economy, exactly backwards.

So, maybe it was the rebel in me that was drawn to this type of thinking when I was a teenager and young adult. But maybe now it is the truth of how I believe God works that keeps me thinking that way.

Prayer: Lord, your ways are higher than our ways, Amen

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”                          Abraham Lincoln

 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.                    Galatians 6:2

On the surface, these two sayings, at first, may seem somewhat at odds with one another. Paul in Galatians is saying we need to watch out for one another and carry one another’s burdens. That other wise elder, Abraham Lincoln, in his own homespun way, is saying each person can determine their own level of happiness- it does not depend on the actions of those around us. We decide if we are going to be happy.

Well, both are right. Lincoln is speaking a truth when he says that we essentially will determine our level of happiness- it is not up to the world to make us happy. I see too often that some people blame those around them because they are not happy, or fulfilled, or prosperous, or whatever.

Paul, in Galatians, was reminding his little group of believers that they were interdependent, and that they were to be supportive and loving to one another, and to share the burdens when they became overwhelming for a brother or sister. Paul essentially said, when the burdens get beyond a person’s ability, it is your job to help them carry it.

So, we need to be responsible for our own happiness, but we also need to look out for a brother or sister in need. Makes sense to me.

Prayer: Lord, give us the wisdom and empathy to see when others need us, Amen

Show me your ways Lord, teach me your paths.
 Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,
   and my hope is in you all day long.                                                                               Psalm 25:4-5

I was talking with a client recently about her anxiety, and the control she tends to exert in order to mitigate that anxiety. It works for her, to a degree, but it can be costly to her relationships. The reason for this is that she projects onto others, at times “the right way to do things.” While her systems and somewhat rigid rules are often helpful for her in controlling her environment, and therefore lowering her anxiety a bit, those around her sometimes feel controlled and judged by her.  

This is often invisible to her, and understandably so. She talked about her need to tell her husband where he was falling short Biblically, and she was sincere in wanting the best for him. Unfortunately, he has felt that he cannot honestly share his spiritual journey with her because he feels that she will try to veer him back onto the “right course” (her course).

This client began to see that trying to shape her husband’s spiritual journey is not her job, but that of the Holy Spirit. She needs to trust that the Spirit of God can do the things that she cannot do. She wants the best for her family, and she is sincerely working on this.

Bless her on this journey. You see, this is part of her spiritual journey as well, and to the extent that she can let go of her need to control her husband’s path, both will feel freer on that spiritual journey they are on.

Prayer: Lord, we trust that you can and will lead us into your ways because you love us, Amen.

His disciples answered, “But where in this remote place can anyone get enough bread to feed them?” “How many loaves do you have?” Jesus asked. “Seven,” they replied.                       Mark 8:4-5

This passage from the book of Mark recalls the time when Jesus fed 4000 people- with seven loaves of bread and a few small fish. This miracle illustrates so much to me. First, this miracle could have taken place if Jesus had no bread and no fish. He could have performed the miracle any way he chose. But he chose to use what he had in order to illustrate some things to us. Namely, Use what you have, even if you don’t think it is enough.

I can just imagine that conversation with the disciples when they told him that they could not procure food for these masses of people. They were in the middle of nowhere. Jesus, thinking about the needs of the people, refused to send them off without feeding them.

So, Jesus said, “How many loaves do you have?” They said- “Seven”. I can just see Jesus saying, “Well that should do it. We got this”. He wanted to show them that with him, they could use their puny resources and do great things for other people.

Jesus also wanted them to be part of the miracle. He used the bread and small fish that they had gathered up in order to feed to crowd. They were to distribute the food, then collect the leftovers- yeah, the leftovers!

The intent of the story? Use what you have to serve others. Our job is to trust and serve, it is not to be fixed on the outcome. Jesus can take care of the outcome just fine.

We just bring those few loaves and a couple of small fish.

Prayer: Lord, thanks for the plan to use us in your work, Amen

Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism, but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right.  You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, announcing the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all.                  Acts 10:34-36

Yesterday was June 19^th. It is the new American national holiday, Juneteenth, which celebrates the date in 1865 when thousands of African-American slaves in Texas found that they had finally been set free. Many of my international readers may not be aware of this event, and indeed, until somewhat recently, a fair number of Americans probably were not well aware of it either.

It was not taught in the schools I attended, and I was about 21 years old when I learned about the significance of that event. My work partner was an African-American woman who explained to me this date, this celebration, as a part of Black culture.

American slavery is not a subject that White America wanted to discuss or make efforts to remember. In fact, the less it was discussed, the less guilty we felt. However, I think it is important to remember the past, not to simply feel guilty, but to understand ourselves and our country in context and in fact. We need to remember that African-Americans, and the indigenous peoples of America suffered greatly as the North American continent was slowly absorbed into an American culture that favored certain ethnic and racial groups over the years.

Yes, America was known as the “Great Melting Pot”, but that was a nice concept that often did not really ring true. Certain groups were favored over the years, and certain people groups were systematically excluded. That is the simple truth.

 So, as Christians, we celebrate the value of people in God’s eyes- that he loves everyone, and is no discerner of people. We are human and we fail in this concept, reverting to our tribal mentality which unfortunately can triumph over total acceptance of others, especially if they do not look like us.

Let us celebrate the beauty of diversity, and use holidays like Juneteenth to do that very thing every year.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us different, but equally important to you- you love us without distinction, Amen

 “Who asked your opinion, you sons of Zeruiah!” David exclaimed. “Why have you become my adversary today? This is not a day for execution, for today I am once again the king of Israel!” Then, turning to Shimei, David vowed, “Your life will be spared.”                            II Samuel 19:22-23

Our pastor gave a great message today at church as he discussed “knowing who you are”. He gave the example of King David when he was given the opportunity to give the death penalty to a man in his kingdom who had dishonored him earlier. David, in full possession of knowing his strength and his power, declined to give the death penalty. He spared the wrongdoer by saying  

“Who asked your opinion, you sons of Zeruiah!” David exclaimed. “Why have you become my adversary today? This is not a day for execution, for today I am once again the king of Israel!”  Then, turning to Shimei, David vowed, “Your life will be spared.”     

David did no need to act rashly and harshly to prove that he was in power. He knew it, and that was good enough.

I talk with my clients about knowing themselves, and accepting themselves right where they are. If you know who you are, you don’t need to be who other people expect you to be. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and you accept them. You can feel free knowing who you are. I use the phrase “Wherever you go, there you are”, meaning, you take your full self wherever you go, and others may or may not accept that, but if you are comfortable in your own skin, you’ll be fine. You can live with yourself.

What freedom that is! Some people in the public sphere need to posture with a sense of bravado, even bullying. They do not feel secure in themselves. Bullies are the least self-confident people on earth. Their need to show strength at the expense of others is a sure sign of failed self-acceptance.

So, wherever you go, there you are- enjoy it!       

Prayer: Lord, help us to see our acceptance in you no matter what, Amen                                                                

Happy Father’s Day to those readers who are fathers. What a joy it is to be a father, and a grandfather! I realize that this could be a fine distinction, but I think that it is more important to be a “dad” than a father. One can be a father without much effort and planning. One must sacrifice and love deeply to be a dad.

I am blessed to be the father of two great children, and a grandfather to six amazing grandkids. My kids remind me of the times that we played “sea monster” in our living room, with them jumping on the couch to avoid the dreaded sea monster (me). Or the bedtimes when I told them what to dream. Or coaching them in little league and girls’ softball. Or road trips in cramped cars that did not always include air conditioning (yes, that was a thing).   

What they may not know, is that being their dad was the greatest experience of my life. I had the privilege, as do other dads, to help shape young lives into being great productive people who love and care for others.  

So, on this Father’s Day, celebrate being a dad. If you are not a dad, or a step-dad, find ways to mentor and coach young people into being responsible, loving adults. That is our job, dads of the world.

It is a great job.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the opportunity to be a dad, Amen.

You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.                                            II Timothy 2:22

I recently had a discussion with a client about the need to reinvent ourself as we go on in our career. I am at the point in my career that I can look back a lot and reflect. Yet, just looking back at the “old days” would not be a very helpful exercise if I did not use it to pass on to others some things I have learned along my journey. Sharing wisdom and experiences gained over our lifetime is not only a privilege, it is a responsibility.

I tell my clients sometimes that we need to spend most of our time looking through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. Looking back through that mirror is helpful, even necessary at times, but if we spend a majority of our time looking backwards, we will be in trouble. We won’t be able to see what is in front of us.

As we age, we need to keep looking forward- to continue reinventing ourselves to remain relevant and viable. We do have much to share with our younger brothers and sisters, but in order to do that, we need to stay current, and engaged with the culture.

Yes, there is a tendency- I have a tendency- to look back wistfully at the past. It is a nice thing to do once in a while, and it is often comforting. But we must remember that we still have a future, no matter what our age, and we owe it to those following us to give as much guidance and direction as we can.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the plan to pass on to others the things we have learned from our journey, Amen

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven…                                                      Ecclesiastes 3

I guess it’s all in how we look at it. The most famous example is the glass half full/half empty. Both statements are true, but your outlook on it defines your mood. Yes, it is also true that your mood can define how you look at it too. On a bad day, a glass ¾ full can look mostly empty at times.

I got to thinking about this when considering how we look at our busy schedules. For some people, schedules are tyrants that rob them of free time and cause endless worry about too much to do in too little time. Yet I could argue that schedules are a blessing, which can give predictability and order to our lives. If we feel that we do not have control over our schedule, it becomes a harsh taskmaster. If we feel control over our schedule, it becomes a reassurance that we can prioritize our time, and get done what is most important to us.

I once had a mentor who asked me if I had put into my schedule book time to be spent with my wife. “Everything else is scheduled”, he observed, “what about the most important things in your life?”

Sage advice there. It is really the priorities and the right choosing of them that is the key. The schedule isn’t the problem, it is our use of it that can be a problem.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the precious gift of time. Help us to use it wisely, Amen