^…then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others       Philippians 2: 2-4

While recently listening to pastor Adam Hamilton preach on the Sermon on the Mount, I heard him mention the Platinum Rule. This is a bit of an upgrade, I think, to the famous Golden Rule. The Golden Rule, of course is “treat others as you would have them treat you.”

The Golden Rule is certainly a time honored and respected way to deal with other people. Yet, the idea of a more thoughtful approach is this- “do unto others, wherever possible, as they would want to be done to them.”

Do you see how respectful that is? It takes me out of the position of assuming that others would like to be treated like I am treated. I am no longer judging what I think is best for them, rather I am asking, “what is it that you need?”

As a counselor, one of my jobs is to formulate a treatment plan with my clients. As we proceed, I ask them what they want from the counseling process. How can I help get you where you would like to go?

By paying attention to the client needs, I can check myself to ensure that I am not imposing my goals on their treatment.

So, I like the idea of a Platinum Rule. Sounds pretty respectful to me.

Prayer: Lord, help us to keep in mind how others may want to be treated, Amen.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it.                                                                                                             Psalm 139:14

Just a quick note today as I complete my client records. I am struck once again by the resilience of my clients, and the life stresses they endure. The human spirit is both fragile and strong at the same time. Often, I am struck by the strength that my clients show in the face of some very difficult traumas and life stresses.

My friends, I do not know what you are facing, but I know that you likely have the strength and resilience to handle whatever you face, because the human spirit is made just that way. As God said to Moses at the burning bush, “You have everything you need in your hand…”

Prayer: Lord, bless my readers today to remind them clearly of the strength that they have, Amen

So, I want men everywhere to pray with holy hands lifted up to God, free from sin and anger and resentment.                                                                                                                                       I Timothy 2:8

I recently had a discussion with a client about her resentments. She said that periodically, she has a flare-up of resentment toward her son-in-law, who had hurt her daughter emotionally some years ago. She says that this is a burden she is tired of carrying. I recognized that this is an understandable response, but the fact that it bothers her says that she has not really given it up.  Perhaps she wants to dredge this up periodically in order to feel some control of her emotions. If she hangs onto it, she can drag it up at times to give vent to her “justified anger”. She has reserved the right to hold onto this resentment because she is “entitled to it”.  

All of this rang true to her. We discussed that perhaps considering the idea of giving up control of this entitled feeling- justified as it feels at times- might work to her benefit. She agreed that this is a matter of control. Could she give this to God, to control something that she cannot control anyway? Might this be a good idea?

She thinks so. I agree.  

It is not easy to give up resentments. Resentments linger because we feel entitled to them. Giving up control of those resentments to God is a process, but it is also a decision we need to make. Can God handle it better than we can? Do we feel freer when we give these things to God so that he can handle them.

Yes, and yes.

Prayer: Lord, help us to look at resentments we hold, and give them to you, Amen.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction

Newton’s Third Law of Motion

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.                                                                                                                                                                         Philippians 4:8

We are all familiar with this law, postulated by Isaac Newton. It is a truth of physics, and we are surrounded by proof of it every day. I find it fascinating that there is such balance in nature. The very atoms that make up matter are living in an equilibrium of balance. Positive and negative forces keep the atom together. There is a positive charge in the nucleus, and the electrons surrounding that nucleus are negatively charged.

So too, I think in our attitudes, there is a positive and a negative that exist at the same time. An event that happens can be seen as a positive or a negative event. It just depends on which way we decide to look at it.

The other night, I woke up to go to the bathroom. Yes, that happens with some regularity to people of a certain age- and even often to people NOT of a certain age! At any rate, on this particular night, I had to get up twice. Upon returning to bed, I was thinking in my groggy state, (but definitely awake) that waking up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night was such a nuisance of age.

 Negative thinking.

Then I thought, yes, but what a blessing that our bodies are configured in such a way to signal us to wake up so that we can USE the bathroom.

Positive thinking.

There are many situations that, given some thought, can be seen to have a potentially positive side. Certainly not all situations by any means, but many things, which on the face of them look negative or annoying, can have that positive aspect if we look at it the right way.

Please understand, I am not always that positive guy by any means! But it is good to consider the possibilities of things that happen to us as possibly having that positive aspect.

Just a thought…

Prayer: Lord, help us to look for positives whenever possible, Amen

The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility    Proverbs 15:33

I suppose it is obvious that the closer we get to the mirror, the more we can see our blemishes or imperfections. The better the light near the mirror, the better we can see those imperfections.  Yikes!

The metaphor here is that as we get closer to the light, and we are willing to see ourselves clearly in the mirror, the more we will see our imperfections. Not just physical defects, but character defects as well. No, we do not like to take that close a look very often, but it is a necessary function for emotionally healthy people.

Seeing ourselves in the light means seeing ourselves in the mirror, not another person to whom we compare ourselves in a relative sense. You know, “gosh, I’m not perfect, but compared to that guy, I’m a real saint!” Well, that might be true, but it is not relevant when we are trying to take a clear and honest look at ourselves.

The 4^th step of Alcoholics Anonymous says to Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. This is a key step in addiction recovery, but truly, it is a step of moral responsibility for everyone.

So, periodically, get closer to that mirror, make sure the light is good, and take inventory. Most importantly, don’t get into despair. The paradoxical result of a close look at our faults is that we come to understand that it takes humility and courage to do so. The more we exercise courage and humility, and the more we see truth, the better we feel about ourselves. We can accept our shortcomings, work on resolutions as best we can, and take heart that we are on a journey of integrity!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for helping us to see ourselves in light of your love, Amen.

Passage- John chapter 9

The entire chapter of John 9 is devoted to the healing of a blind man- a man blind from birth. I encourage my readers to read that passage. In it, Jesus does some amazing things, and those who would deny him, also do some pretty crazy things. The subject of the healing, a man blind from birth, and his parents, also play a role in this drama.

This chapter depicts people who have certain rigid religious beliefs, and they are desperate to hang onto them. They cannot fathom that Jesus would not only heal on the Sabbath, but that he could even heal at all given that those religious leaders thought him to be a sinner.

We all have religious beliefs that we try to hang onto because they seem to fit into our human way of thinking. Thinking like Only a certain type of person can heal, or healing must be done in a certain way, or people are afflicted because they or their parents have sinned, or there are people worthy of healing, and those that are not- etc.

The religious leaders of the time could not fit Jesus into their current religious mold. In fact, Jesus refused to play that game. He even used the common, probably “unclean” method of mud and spit to heal. Actually, Jesus could just as easily have healed the blind man by looking at him, speaking to him, or however he would choose. Jesus chose to give another lesson in healing, but moreover, he decided to tweak the commonly held religious tropes of the time.

Was that a cool story or what?!

Prayer: Lord, how you choose to teach us your ways is amazing! Amen

I live in a small town- one where on Friday evenings in the summer, people gather around the town square and listen to free concerts. I mean, what is more 19^th century America than that? Last evening, there was a cover band who played the music of Chicago, one of the great bands of the late 20^th century (still going great in the 21^st century!).

Thinking of the eras mentioned, and the generations spanning them, I began to look at the constituency of the crowd. Yep, mostly “Baby Boomers” like my wife and me. Yes, there were other generations represented of course, but my generation- “Boomers”- dominated the crowd. Chicago is Boomer music!

As I think of my generation, so named because our parents were having children in bunches right after World War II, I thought too of that earlier generation. My parents were of that generation that was toughened by the Great Depression, helped win World War II, and then built a strong economy in the post-war years. Tom Brokaw called them “The Greatest Generation”.

I have always wondered if people in my generation, or even others, thought that the generation ahead of them was somehow “just a little better”. You know, could we live up to their accomplishments? It is true that up until recently in America, each succeeding generation outearned the prior generation. So yes, we were wealthier, but were we as strong? Were we as determined? Were we as disciplined?

These are very subjective questions, and we all have our own thoughts. As for me, I think my parents’ generation was called The Greatest Generation for a reason.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth                                           Matthew 5:5

Just to be clear, meek does not mean weak. Weak means having little power. Meek means having power under control. Big difference. Often, we use the term a “meek and mild disposition” as  descriptive of certain individuals. It is fine to do that, but understand that just because one chooses to be mild in disposition, it does not mean that they are weak, fearful, and ineffective. Indeed, a truly meek person is one to be admired.

Jesus called them ‘blessed”.

In the politically charged culture of today, stridency and anger often seem to be traits that are rewarded and applauded. Even among some Christians, there is a culture of “warrior Christians”. That can be a bit disturbing. For some, it can harken back to the days of the Crusades, where the intention was to convert the “infidel”, or maybe just kill him. Indeed, we are called to stand up for truth, and at the same time we are called to be compassionate and understanding. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

If we truly believe that we have been given an eternal truth about how God loves us, and that God sent his son Jesus to be an example of sacrificial love, isn’t that truth strong enough to give us the strength to show meekness? We have the strength of the powerful Holy Spirit in us, we need not engage in angry debates with those with whom we disagree.

Power under control- blessed are the meek…

Prayer: Lord, help us to show the meekness that you call “blessed’, Amen

Making your way in the world today Takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break from all your worries Sure would help a lot
Wouldn’t you like to get away? All those nights when you’ve got no lights
The check is in the mail And your little angel
Hung the cat up by it’s tail And your third fiance didn’t show

Sometimes you wanna go Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came You wanna be where you can see (ah-ah)
Our troubles are all the same (ah-ah)
You wanna be where everybody knows your name

(Cheers theme song lyrics)

Do you remember the old TV show Cheers? Of course you do, and now I’ve got you singing that song in your head. You’re welcome.

It was a funny, well-written show that was about the activities that went on in the local bar. A place where regular customers came in and bantered about life. The theme song (first stanza above) has some very interesting and true-to-life words. The words of the last two lines always struck me:

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came you wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows your name

I had a client recently who was suffering a very painful estrangement from her family. There had been much rejection, even abuse, and this client was trying to find places where she would be validated and accepted. Her family of origin, unfortunately, was not one of those places. While she was hurt by family rejection, she still longed for their validation.

I suggested to this client that such validation is necessary for all of us. We seek out places where we are accepted, “where everybody knows our name”. A place where, “they’re always glad you came”

My suggestion to her was involvement in small groups at her church, or perhaps volunteer work with others with whom she could connect in a mission larger than herself. Perhaps in places like that, she could find meaningful connections and acceptance just for who she is.

It is interesting that many people do seek such validation at bars. The show’s characters like Sam, and Norm, and Cliff, and Diane found acceptance in the bar. I would hope that perhaps churches could be places where people find the comfort of caring relationships. Where everybody (or many) know your name; where they are glad you came, and missed you if you did not come.

Maybe then more people would seek out churches rather than bars for those relationships.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us relational beings. Help us to validate and encourage one another, Amen

“You can observe a lot by just watching“                                                       Yogi Berra

Look at the birds of the air, for they do not sow, nor do they reap, nor gather into barns. Yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they?                     Matthew 6:26

My regular readers know that I think Yogi Berra was an unsung American hero. He was a wounded combat veteran of D-Day, yet he refused the Purple Heart for his wound because he didn’t want his mother to worry about him. Later, he played Hall of Fame level baseball for the New York Yankees, but he was overshadowed by players like Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle and Whitey Ford. Yet he was arguably the most valuable player on the Yankee dynasty of the 1950’s.

Today I look at Yogi’s simple, yet deceptively profound quote above- “You can observe a lot by just watching.” I was reminded of this recently when I watched the behavior of some animals in my own back yard. There were the chipmunks, squirrels and birds converging on the sunflower seeds that had fallen uneaten from my bird feeder. They would crowd one another, bluff and bully one another, and finally find some kind of order as they picked through the seeds.

They would also try to outwit one another. The Housefinches are bullies and the skittish Goldfinches are usually wary and easily frightened off. Until one brave Goldfinch stands his ground and finds that he can compete for the cherished sunflower seeds.

The squirrels will often try to raid the birdfeeder (successfully, if I do not take it in at night), then they will feast (gorge!) on seeds, burying what they cannot consume in one feeding. They will bury the seeds in the ground around the side of my house. Recently, the chipmunks found the cache and have been raiding it for themselves. Just watching this scenario felt like a drama or mystery movie, maybe even a comedy, in my own back yard.

All this to say, if I had not taken time to pause and watch, I would not have been able to make these observations.

 Like Yogi said, “you can observe a lot by just watching.”   

Prayer: Lord, help us pause long enough to enjoy your creation, Amen