Just a quick note as I write this blog on the shortest day of the year in the Northern Hemisphere- December 21. It is dark outside and it is early evening. This is the least light we will have this year. But you know the good news? From now until June 21 in this Hemisphere, the days are getting longer! More light is on the way, little by little. Yes, it is incrementally small, but we are going in the right direction again!

So, my dear friends, not only is Christmas really close, Spring is on the way (sort of)!

Blessings to you – baseball season can’t be far off!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the cycles of life and light that you give as rhythms to our life, Amen

I recently spoke with an older couple who were having some communication problems. I was pointing out to the wife that she often projects her own assumptions about her husband’s wants and needs. For example, she believes that it is her job to provide a good meal to him when he returns from work. This stresses her, because he is not very forthcoming about what he wants- he just figures that she will do a good job, because he thinks she always does. In fact, he does not want to stress her with any expectations, because she tends to worry and become self-critical. Unfortunately, his lack of communication causes her stress!

His lack of communication about what he wants is interpreted by her as his being dissatisfied. When we got this into the open, he said to her, “Your assumptions of what I need are much greater than my expectations- I don’t want you to stress out, I’m worried about you”. She laughed at his statement, saying, “He doesn’t say much, but when he does, he’s pretty good at it!”

Would that such communication discussions were all this easy! The point is, however, when we make assumptions, we are often projecting our values onto someone else. It’s easy to project our feelings on to others because they are so close to us, so obviously true to us, that we assume others must think the same way.

This was another reminder to me that everyone does not think the same way I do. Well, diversity of thought is so healthy, we ought to embrace it more often!

Prayer: Lord, help us move beyond our own thinking to embrace other views, Amen

“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.                                                                                             Deuteronomy 6:4-5

And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”                                                                                                           Mark 12:30-31

 You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.  This is my command: Love each other                                                     John 15:16-17

As a special treat to my readers this Christmas season, I have the pleasure of having my daughter join me in this blog today. Indeed, the topic was her idea….

In all the controversy these days about the Christian message to the world, and frankly the misuse and misunderstanding of what the Bible says about how God would have us to live, there remains this one thing.

Love one another.

In the Old Testament, the message from the famous Shema of Jewish tradition remains as a pillar of how we can understand God. His message has always been, “Love one another”. The passage in Deuteronomy indicates that we are commanded to love God. When it was reiterated by Jesus in the book of Mark, and again in John, Jesus made it clear that love was not an option, nor is it a feeling that we have. It is a sacrificial decision that we make. Jesus expanded the Shema to include the second part as equally important – “Love your neighbor as yourself”

So, if you want to know the Christian message (not the “thou shalt nots”, but the “thou shalls”), and how God would have us live in the world, be aware that the formula has been repeated many times.

When the world hands us a dose of political or religious vitriol, Jesus hands us love. When we are divided by race, ideology, economics, or gender, Jesus comes in and unites us with a simple message of love. In this world where social media entices us to debate, outwit, out smart, or out do one another, Jesus says “Where there is any uncertainty, just choose love.”

Even within the Christian church, there has been much division about how to welcome those who don’t look like us, worship like us, or love like us. Our natural human reaction is to build rules around love: you are welcome if you vote like me, look like me, marry like me, live in a home like mine. But there is no model from Jesus for these kinds of rules. We saw Jesus approach a woman at the well who carried shame, and he welcomed her. We saw Jesus love and heal the paralyzed man who was dropped through the roof to reach him; quite an unconventional approach, but it phased Jesus none at all. Indeed, we saw this loving Jesus flip the tables as a sign of his disapproval of the business of the church that was drawing attention away from love and towards bank accounts instead.

There is so much that is confusing in this world today, including the church that so many of us grew up in. While we may never fully understand it all on this side of heaven, Jesus provides us a way through. He offers us the holy way of love. Just love. Just listening and holding space for each other. That’s it. It doesn’t have to be a battle. Jesus says to us, “Where there is any doubt what way to choose, choose love.” There is no greater command.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the love you have shown to us through the ages, Amen

Jesus was born in the town of Bethlehem, in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. At about that time some astrologers from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, “Where is the newborn King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in far-off eastern lands and have come to worship him.”                             Matthew 2:1-2

I have been looking at the clear night sky lately, and the stars and planets have been especially brilliant. The one advantage of winter is the clarity of the sky due to the cold temperatures and relative lack of clouds and haze. I was really taken aback the other evening with the brightness of Jupiter. Venus, the morning star is similarly brilliant.

Then I happened to hear a podcast which discussed a possible explanation of the Christmas star. That same star the Magi were tracking when they sought the newborn ruler whom they believe the star portended.

The theory put forth by this scholar was that on the morning of April 17, in 6 B.C. an unusual alignment of the planet Jupiter, rising early in the morning, before sunrise in the eastern sky, caused the Magi to follow this omen. Since it arose in the astrological house of Aries, it caused them to believe that this omen meant that a significant king would be born in Judea. Judea evidently was associated with the astrological house of Aries.

It is interesting to note that these Magi were astrologers from perhaps Mesopotamia or Babylonia. They were skilled in the arts of astrology, and when they determined that this new king would be born in Judea, they headed to Jerusalem to inquire of the current king about this amazing birth.

Jews were prohibited from practicing the astrological arts, so Herod, and the other Jewish inhabitants were unaware of the significance that the pagan world associated with this sign. Of course, Herod wanted to hear about a king who might supplant him. Herod wanted names and addresses so that he could destroy this usurper king!

The mind-blower for me was that on December 19 of that year, Jupiter seemed to stand still in the sky. It shone brightly because of a confluence with the moon, and it seemed to just stand still. There is a technological reason for this phenomenon- Jupiter did not stand still. However, it appeared to stand still relative to the position of the earth in its course around the sun relative to Jupiter at that point.

Now this theory is just that- a theory. However, it does have some scientific backing and it could have been an explanation of the Christmas star followed by those wise men from the east.

Whether this theory flies or not, there are some interesting aspects to it. The Judeans would have been clueless about the astrological significance of this momentous event, but the rest of the world may have seen something that the Jews of the time did not.

A new King was being born.

Prayer: Lord, you give us wonderful gifts that we sometimes fail to see, Amen

Simon Peter said, “You’re the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus came back, “God bless you, Simon, son of Jonah! You didn’t get that answer out of books or from teachers. My Father in heaven, God himself, let you in on this secret of who I really am. And now I’m going to tell you who you are, really are. You are Peter, a rock. This is the rock on which I will put together my church, a church so expansive with energy that not even the gates of hell will be able to keep it out.                                                                                                                                                          Matthew 16:16-18 (The Message)

I saw an article in the paper today that church attendance is down to 30% participation by the U.S. population. In prior decades, going back into the 1960’s that percentage was around 40-45% in most decades. However, in the past decade, partly due to the effects of COVID-19, that percentage fell significantly, and now stands at around 30%.

COVID of course took a big toll on church attendance, but so also did the unhappy marriage of religion and politics. Younger people see that as politics becomes more intertwined with religion, both institutions suffer.

Church attendance for a group of believers is more than just a Sunday exercise. The bond that comes from social and spiritual interactions is healthy in every way to the human spirit. From a mental health standpoint, I typically encourage church attendance for my clients as a way to become part of a movement that is larger than ourself. Involvement in a church is good for both mind and spirit.

I am not really worried about the sustained existence of the “capital C” Church. The Church will prevail because God said that it would- it will just look a bit different in future decades.  In the meantime, we need to remember that participation in church is healthy, and that even though it looks different these days, the Church will survive.

Prayer: Lord, bless your Church so that it can bless others, Amen

Luke Chapter 1

This time of year, I always like to look back at Luke chapter one for his telling of the story about the birth of Jesus. He gives a rich background too. He tells the story of Mary’s relative, Elizabeth, who also had conceived a child, and with whom Mary stayed for three months. That was about the timeframe which coincided with Elizabeth’s delivery of her own son, John.

I also found it interesting that Gabriel, the angel who delivered the good news to these families, told Mary that her relative Elizabeth (cousin perhaps), had also conceived in a miraculous way. Luke relates the beautiful words recited by Mary, Elizabeth, and Zechariah (Elizabeth’s husband) as they tell of the glorious miracles that God had delivered to them. Maybe this was encouraging to Mary, who now had a kindred spirit to share these life-changing (world changing) pregnancies.   

Luke’s background gives the very human touch to these miraculous happenings. Indeed, the idea of miracles becomes a part of our wonder in this Christmas season. How often do we see unexplainable things in our life and later recognize the presence of modern-day miracles?

The miracles still happen, even if they look a little different than the ones we see in Luke.

Prayer: Lord, you are the author of miracles, yesterday and today, Amen

 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.                                                                                                                                               Genesis 50:20

Enjoy this replay of an earlier blog from last year…

Imagine if you will…

These are the familiar words from the beginning of the iconic TV show Twilight Zone. I was addicted to that show, which unfortunately aired late on Friday nights when I was a kid. I loved the show, but when it was over, I had to run upstairs to my bedroom to get to the safety of lights and comfort. Yes, some of the shows really creeped me out.

And I wouldn’t have missed an episode of that show for the world!

I write about the program, and its creator Rod Serling, because he was born around this time of year- on Christmas Day, 1924.

Rod Serling, was a World War II veteran who served in the South Pacific, and he was awarded the Bronze Star and the Purple Heart for his service. The war had a deep effect on him, and I am guessing that he had what we might now diagnose as PTSD. Serling seemed to write in the science fiction genre in order to exorcise some of the demons of war he may have fought. He was able to get his points across in this genre and it was accepted as genius. I think he truly was a genius.

Earlier, he had written Emmy award winning shows like Requiem for a Heavyweight which helped to bring serious social and interpersonal issues to the light of public awareness. Serling was able to work out his emotional pain in a creative way. He turned his pain into our gain.

The Twilight Zone series still impacts our culture, even though the show left the airways in the late 1960’s. Syndication, and media like YouTube and the SY-FI channel keep this marvelous series alive in the public. It still influences audiences after all these years.

I cannot speculate if Rod Serling would know how his writing has continued to influence the culture decades later. His courage and writing genius responded to and helped heal his emotional pain in a creative and healthy way.

Thanks Rod Serling. Maybe you are standing in the corner, commenting as we acknowledge your impact on us…

Prayer: Lord, help us all to continue to redeem pain into gain, Amen

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.                                                                                               John 8:12

It’s dark here in the Eastern Time Zone of the United States at this time of year, and it is only 5:30 PM as I write this blog entry. Yes, this time of year it gets dark pretty early here. In the farther eastern part of the time zone, it gets dark even earlier.  Suffice it to say, this feels like the dead of Winter. The darkest day, December 21 is, of course the shortest day in the Northern Hemisphere.

I suppose that such facts really color my thinking about the Christmas season in this part of the U.S. We tend to relate the dark days of mid-winter with Christmas. Hence the reason we love the outdoor illumination of the season. It just brings light into the dark.

The metaphor of Jesus being the light of the world comes to life in such a setting. When it is so dark, even a little light brings refreshment and hope. So, we celebrate Christmas at a time when we need a little more light, a little more encouragement.

This reminds me that Christians are, of course, all over the world, and my brothers and sisters in the Southern Hemisphere are basking in a season where light abounds this time of year. That also reminds me that my United States view of Christmas is hopelessly parochial, and not at all relevant to a different cultural perspective.   

So, while I enjoy my cultural understanding of the Christmas season, I also understand that the true reason for the season has nothing to do with seasonal light changes, or snow, or Currier and Ives prints. It has to do with a celebration of true Light in a dark world.  

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the gift of True Light, Amen

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things                                                                                                                                                                   Philippians 4:8

What is the deadliest animal in the world in terms of human deaths caused? Is it sharks? Maybe snakes? How about scorpions or spiders? Well, you can add up all the deaths caused by all of the above animals, multiply it by a thousand or so, and you are still not close to the biggest killer.

Mosquitos.

Yes, mosquitos are responsible for about 2.7 million human deaths each year, and about 500 million mosquito borne illnesses. Yeah, they are deadly, not to mention completely annoying. But mostly those of us in the Northern Hemisphere just find them annoying. People in the Southern Hemisphere, especially children, find them to be deadly.

I was watching a documentary on NOVA (PBS) the other evening about the search for a malaria vaccine. The scientists, doctors, researchers, and human aid groups have been diligently searching for a malaria vaccine for decades, and in October, 2023, one was approved by the World Health Organization. I was captured by the reactions of the scientists.

They wept.

I write this because I saw the reactions of these heroic workers when the vaccine trials showed effectiveness. Spent of emotional energy from years of frustration, they wept and celebrated as they anticipated the millions of children, especially children in Africa, that would be spared the devastation of malaria.   

Mostly these days, we are inundated by the news of inhumane actions of evil in Ukraine, Gaza, and many other places. I can get pretty downcast by the cruel actions of humans toward other humans. But in this Christmas season, I was looking for uplifting stories. Stories of people who love their fellow man and work for the best interests of humankind.

They are all around us to be sure if we are looking. We just need to remind ourselves to look.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the loving kindness we see in others when we look, Amen

I often have clients who are dealing with anxiety, and they find that when they leave comfortable places, they may have increased social anxiety. That certainly makes sense, as predictability helps to lower anxiety. To the extent that we can exert control in situations, we have lower anxiety.

I recently had a client who told me about her “safe place” in her home, a large closet. She can go in there for periods of time, pray, meditate, and feel safe. It is enclosed, but she does not have claustrophobia, so the enclosed place actually gives her comfort.

We talked about the comfort she has there, and the idea is to “bring as much of the closet as she can” in to her normal work environment. She likes the idea, and she will think about the ideas we discussed. She may actually wear a piece of clothing or jewelry that she wears in the closet when she goes out.

We need reminders of who we are when we go into places that may bring some perceived risk. Having a familiar piece of clothing, a ring, a wrist band, whatever, can be of some small comfort to us as we make ourselves aware of those items.

So, that proverbial “rabbit’s foot” is not a magic charm, but we can find value in items when we can ascribe our own value to it as a familiar token of comfort.

Prayer: In this season of peace, help us find some comfort, even in uncomfortable places, Amen