You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.                 James 3:18 (Living Bible)

One of the roles of a counselor is to help clients refute the irrational beliefs that anxiety constantly brings into their mind. I recently had a client who suffers from social anxiety who had the belief that she was not interesting enough for other people. This was one of the lies of anxiety- “you are not worthy”.

We looked into some of her past and saw that she had become adept at trying to determine emotional safety by trying to figure out what might please or displease others. She had become risk aversive, and the irrational thought that supported this was that she should avoid others because they would find her uninteresting. In short, she felt that she might get rejected.

As we work through this, she is beginning to see herself as a person of worth and value. Further, it was not her responsibility to ensure that the other person would approve of her. It is her job to be truthful and caring, not to make herself “interesting” to others. Indeed, I told her “When you show interest in others, they find you interesting!”  This client has high empathy for others, and I know that if she takes the risk of reaching out to engage others, they will find her interest in them, “interesting”.

It is so rewarding to be able to give people the assurance that they may not have had in the past. I ended by asking the client to consider that she was well worth knowing, and that people needed to see her gift of empathy in action. To her credit, she agreed to try to engage one person next week to get to know them.

She is going to do just fine in that homework.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us in your image, and worthy of respect and care, Amen

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.                                               Psalm 19:1 (KJV)

Just right! That was the exclamation of little Goldilocks as she entered the house of the Three Bears. Goldilocks had tried out the porridge, and the chairs, and the beds of the Three Bears, and she would always find one too hard or too soft, or the porridge too hot or too cold. She would always land on one that was “just right”.

That is how astronomers and astrophysicists describe the conditions of the earth for the sustenance of life. The Goldilocks Effect. Other planets are too hot, or too cold, or just too toxic to sustain life. In all the universe, we only know, at this time, one planet of the billions out there that can sustain life. Our little old Earth- it is just right.

It is not a cosmic mistake or some crazy coincidence that Earth is the planet of life. The confluence of events that needed to happen for life to be sustained on Earth was a God-ordained miracle. If the angle of the Earth’s tilt varied much off of the mean of 23.5 degrees, life could not be sustained. If our distance from the sun was greatly different than the average of 93 million miles distant, we would boil or freeze, depending on the difference.

So, when we say, as does the Bible, that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and made intentionally, and with purpose, we speak the truth.   

So, at times we may feel insignificant and wonder about where God is in this world. He cared enough to create this place which is just right for life. What we do with that life is up to us. God gave us all the conditions that we need to live that life.

Prayer: Lord, we are amazed at this unique creation, which includes little old us! Amen

“Political activity has become obsessed with winning, eclipsing a shared commitment to the common good”.

Lilliana Mason, from her book “Uncivil Agreement: How Politics Became Our Identity”

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.                 Matthew 5:43-47 (Living Bible)

So, think of that quote above from Lilliana Mason, and consider how unfortunately true that statement is. Politics no longer concerns itself with the common good, it is obsessed with winning. For many people, politics has become, or has actually displaced religion. Our compass for what is the right thing becomes the expedient, or winning political strategy, never mind the moral implications, or even what our Christian faith would direct us to do.

We have entered into a type of encounter with others that does not first consider what is the best way to uplift them, especially those who are poor or marginalized. The first question is one of political calculation, and what might be the winning position. We have normalized incivility to the point that cruelty, shaming, name calling, and slander have become the currency of political discourse.  

When politics becomes religion, winning is all that matters. Politics is draped in a type of religious fervor that wants people to believe that it is “saving the culture”. Don’t be fooled my friends, the only one that can save our culture, our anger and isolation from one another, is Jesus, who did not align himself with a political party. Instead, he said that we would not be popular for taking a stand that shows love for others. Popularity, or winning, was not the first consideration of Jesus.

Loving others is.

Prayer: Lord, save us from the myth of political power, Amen

Immature love says: “I love you because I need you” Mature love says I need you because I love you” Erich Fromm

I have an exercise that I give to my couples counseling clients that involves asking five simple questions that they share with one another in order to connect physically, spiritually and emotionally. One of those questions is “What do you need right now?”

A simple question, but an important one for several reasons. First, this gets each one in touch with what their own needs are. Often, we do not stop and think for ourselves what we might need at this moment. We need to first identify what we need before we can ask for it.

Another consideration is that sometimes we unconsciously assume that our partner knows what we need. We somehow expect that our partner can read our mind! It is just fine to identify what we need and then to ask for it. If we do not do that, we may get frustrated, and then we may blame it on the wrong person when that need is not met.

So, asking for what we need may seem like a simple thing- and it can be- but it does take some thought and communication.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us all the tools we need to communicate our needs, help us to use them well, Amen

Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you?  You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone.  You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.     II Corinthians 3:1-3

‘Preach the gospel at all times. And if necessary, use words.’                                                      St. Francis of Assisi

Just a quick observation today. Paul was telling the people at Corinth that they themselves were the fruit of his teachings and ministry. Yes, he wrote letters, but the real message is the lives of those who hear and respond to that message. The word itself can be sterile, or misused if not informed by the Spirit of God. We are the living message of God’s plan.

Have you seen people twist the words of the Bible to their own ends? Didn’t some of the preachers in the Deep South in the early 1800’s pervert the words of the Bible to justify slavery? Yes, we can make the Bible say what we want it to, but the test of truth is the transformation it brings in the lives of the hearers.

Prayer: Lord, help us always to test the truth of your word with the Spirit’s guidance, Amen

Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?”  Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.” Luke 12:13-15

There was a time when Jesus was providing a teaching to those following him when he was interrupted by one man in the crowd. This fellow piped up and asked Jesus to intervene for him to his brother to ask that the brother share his inheritance with him. This man evidently was not really catching the message that Jesus had been teaching. The man was hoping for Jesus to use his authority to set his brother straight. You know, he seemed to be saying “Jesus make my brother do right by me!”

The response Jesus gave made it clear that he was not going to get involved in the petty dealings of this man and his brother. Jesus told him essentially, “I’m not the judge of this dispute!” Then, Jesus went on, in my opinion, to tell this man “Have you actually been listening to what I have been saying?”

We hear things the way we want to hear them. Some people in the “prosperity gospel” world hear that Jesus is the giver of wealth to those who do certain financial dealings. Jesus could not be more clear as he goes on in this passage in Luke to say that we store up treasures by giving wealth away to those in need. God knows our financial needs and provides for us, but he is more interested in our heart attitude.

God is looking for hearts that are turned toward caring for their fellow human beings.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to see the deeper truths you have for us, Amen

I look up to the mountains. Where does my help come from?
 My help comes from the Lord. He is the Maker of heaven and earth.

 He won’t let your foot slip. He who watches over you won’t get tired.
 In fact, he who watches over Israel won’t get tired or go to sleep.

 The Lord watches over you. The Lord is like a shade tree at your right hand.
 The sun won’t harm you during the day. The moon won’t harm you during the night.

 The Lord will keep you from every kind of harm. He will watch over your life.
 The Lord will watch over your life no matter where you go, both now and forever

Psalm 121

This beautiful Psalm is one of the Hebrew Songs of Ascent. I understand that it was sung by pilgrims as they made their way up toward the heights of Jerusalem for holy worship. These travelers might become weary on the long trek, and they encouraged one another by singing these Psalms that they had committed to memory.

The King James translation renders that first line “I will lift up my eyes unto the hills…” That catches my attention, not only because of its poetic beauty, but because of the literal value of the idea- I will lift up my eyes. There is a specific value in deciding to look up. It talks about a decision to look up when we are weary, not to hang our heads.

Have you ever seen athletes on the basketball court or on football sidelines put their hands on their hips? It is a sure sign of fatigue. Many coaches caution their players, even when fatigued, to not give in to a gesture that might give others the idea that they are exhausted.

Deciding to look up when the journey gets hard is a good concept. After all, the Psalmist reminded the pilgrims that their help comes from the Lord- the one who made the mountain that they were trudging up. God would give them strength if they looked up to him.

So, fellow travelers, when the journey gets hard, lift up your eyes to the Creator who gives strength.

Prayer: We are weary Lord, but our strength is renewed in you alone, Amen

“But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father                                                                                                      Matthew 24:36

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.                                                   Micah 6:8

We look around and we see that the world is in a precarious place. Dire situations in Gaza, Ukraine, and other lesser noted hot spots have produced untold suffering for people. Political unrest in the United States seems to be as vile and volatile as one can remember. Religious institutions have lost much credibility, with younger people simply opting out of traditional faith orientations. Such world affairs have led many to question whether we are approaching those dreaded “End Times”.    

For me, speculation on the “End Times” is not a very fruitful pursuit. First, I have no control of when and if such times are truly upon us. Maybe they are- but then does it really help to panic about such things? Jesus didn’t seem too excited about when the end was coming, saying that only the Father knows, and He is not telling. Jesus told us to occupy until the end, living out our faith and caring for one another no matter when the final bell rings.

Speculation about end times prophecy fulfillment, mystical interpretations, and dire warnings are, to me, not helpful. Maybe it’s just me, but trying to cram some apocalyptic meaning into scary world events just does not seem a good use of my time.

Even if time is short, shouldn’t we just concentrate on making this place we call earth a little bit more livable for those who suffer?  

Prayer: Lord, help us to keep first things first, caring for those who need our help, Amen

Without wise leadership, a nation is in trouble; but with good counselors there is safety.             Proverbs 11:14

Being a counselor, I of course advocate for people to get counseling. It is a normal, helpful tool that anyone can benefit from. Over the years, the stigma of going to counseling has decreased markedly, and that is a very good thing. There is no big secret about how or why counseling works. You get to talk with someone who is going to listen to you- hear your story- in order get rapport and show respect in order to help you through some of life’s difficult times. They will help you to see things objectively, and will give you feedback about that. They will be honest, and they will be loving in their approach.

As I have said numerous times, deciding to go to counseling can be difficult because people may not know what to expect. They may fear showing vulnerability, and yet that is the very essence of human healing. Acknowledging (not admitting, acknowledging– big difference when you think about that) that we are vulnerable and in need of help is a courageous step, not a sign of weakness. It is the beginning of a healthy journey.

My job as a counselor is not to judge you, but to engage with you to find solutions for problems. It is to come alongside you as a support and also an accountability person to keep you on track. Frankly, our job as counselors is to show God’s love to people as human vessels of support, encouragement, and engagement.

Yes, we have developed tools to diagnose and treat clinical conditions that need treatment- things like anxiety, depression, trauma recovery, mood disorders, relationship problems, and many more issues. We will refer to helpful resources, and typically, we will refer our clients to doctors for a physical examination, and/or to psychiatry for medication if needed. We will give homework, and we will ask for accountability on that work. The work of counseling is not all played out in the counseling session, it is effected through the work of the client outside the counseling venue.

I mentioned earlier that we acknowledge our vulnerability, not admit to it. You see, admission has the connotation of wrong doing. Acknowledgment is acceptance of a purely human condition. See the difference? Yes, words matter!

So, if I have opened the door just a little to make counseling a good alternative, I have done my job.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us one another to share the journey marked out for us. Give us wisdom in helping others along the path, Amen.

Jesus watched him go and then said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the Kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God.”                Luke 18:24-25

This passage from the book of Luke took place after Jesus had told a rich man that he needed to sell everything and give the money to the poor. Then he was to follow Jesus. That was what Jesus said he needed to do in order to get to heaven. The rich man had turned away- the price of following Jesus was too high. Then Jesus made that statement about it being easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.

I think the point here is that it is impossible to get to heaven on our own merits- even if we did sell everything, give the money to the poor, and say that we are following Jesus. No amount of good deeds, generous gifts, or grand gestures can merit the grace to get into heaven.

But I think what Jesus was pointing out to the rich man was a condition of his soul that said the man was not willing to rest on the merits of anyone other than himself. He may have been a “self-made man” in his own eyes. He was used to finding out the cost of what he wanted, and then making the purchase. The cost of his soul was something he could not pay. Only the grace of Jesus can do that.

But let’s think about our own hearts before we judge the “rich man” in this story. The vast majority of those who read this would be considered “rich people” by any worldly standard. Are we really “selling out” everything in order to find the justice for others that Jesus asked? Do we conveniently donate to causes for others or are we “all in” to make this world a better place for all God’s children?

Prayer: Lord, help us to see where we can be the instruments of peace and justice in this world, Amen