Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done. Proverbs 19:17

So, how inspiring is it that the book of Proverbs is explaining the nature and character of God in this way? In the days when that book was being compiled, the current way of relating to a god was a very transactional process. People would find a deity who was the giver of certain gifts (fertility, good crops, health etc.) and, should one make sacrifices to that god, they might be rewarded. There were even societies that made child sacrifices to the god Molech to appease this evidently angry and powerful being.   

Then you have the one true God worshipped by the ancient Hebrews who gave them a moral code that looked quite different. The true God, Yahweh, said that if his people took care of the poor, it was like lending to him, and he would reward those who cared for the “least of the brethren” in the community.

That is still a concept that is true. In the New Testament, there are dozens of assertions that one loves God by loving others. That is a radical concept. Yet, when you think about it, why would anyone want to follow any other Supreme Being? We worship the one who loves those that society discards and marginalizes.

That is all the Truth I need.

Prayer: Lord, what a plan to have us love you by loving your creation, Amen

 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” 

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

The man replied to Jesus “Who is my neighbor?

Luke 10: 25-27

I am reading an excellent, thoughtful book entitled The Ethics of Encounter, by Marcus Mescher. The book is based upon the parable of the Good Samaritan that Jesus told, as recounted in the book of Luke. The parable was in response to the question of a follower who asked the definition of “neighbor”. Jesus had just explained that one gains eternal life by loving God with one’s whole heart, and loving one’s neighbor as one’s self.

The nature of the question seems to be one of trying to define limits to the generosity one must extend by limiting the definition of “neighbor”. We are used to thinking of neighbors as being people we can summon by shouting out our door. Those that hear us are neighbors.  Pretty small definition, right?

Jesus expanded the whole story by not only not limiting who can be considered a “neighbor”, he upped the ante by making the story’s hero a hated Samaritan. He doubled down by having a Priest and a Levite disregard the fallen victim. Jesus knew how to stick the needle into those who would stubbornly try to limit the length of love to be extended outside their own tribe.

We will talk more about this in future blogs. For now, just read the passage in Luke, and take in the beautiful irony that Jesus uses to make his point.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to expand our own definition of neighbor, Amen.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres        I Corinthians 13:4-7          

Love has many meanings in English, but we really just have one word for it. According to research on definitions of love in the Bible, the ancient Greeks were very specific and particular in their words for love, and they broke it down this way. They had four words to describe different forms of love precisely: “Storge” or family love; “Philia”, or brotherly love; “Agape”, or sacrificial or unconditional love; and “Eros”, sexual or marital love.

The “Storge” type love (pronounced Stor-hay), was for family love, a deep and protective affection that binds families tightly together. Philia, or brotherly love, is commonly known. We all know Philadelphia (City of Love), and the irony of the “loving” Philly sports fans showing love to people on the field in their own unique ways. They actually booed Santa Claus one year, but that is another story. Phileo type love is “I love you as you love me”. Good type of love for neighbors and communities, but not the highest ideal of it.

Eros, the one we are likely most in touch with in popular culture, has to do with passion and sexual attraction. It arouses a lot of energy, but often, like an intense fire, it can burn hot and quickly, and it may burn itself out.

Agape love is the ideal. It is the love God has for his creation. Selfless and unconditional, there is nothing the loved one can do to escape such love. It is there despite any actions that may try to thwart it. It is supernatural.

At times, we all display these types of love for others. They are all good in their own way, but the key is to recognize each for what it is, and not to deceive ourselves that we love better than we actually do. We love imperfectly. But as I said in an earlier reflection, acceptance of imperfect is OK. We just need to be on the right path.

We are called to a more perfect love. Fortunately, we have a Friend who loves us right where we are, wherever that might be along the road.

Prayer: Thank you Father for the unconditional love you have for us, Amen.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.                                                           Romans 12:9-13 (NIV)

In reading the book of Romans, I see that the writer, Paul, encourages us to “honor one another.” One of the things that is so remarkable about the Bible is that it is a book which gives excellent instructions for how we should treat one another. While it is a guide to understanding God and his creation, and his relationship to that creation, it also is very practical advice for how to truly survive in a world that is not always easy to navigate.

In this passage, Paul is reminding believers that they are to honor one another. That is, we are to show respect for one another by listening carefully to what they say. We are to show that respect by giving eye contact, warmth, and affirmations where we can. We are to give others the benefit of the doubt and not be quick to judge them. We are to let them know that they are valued by us and by God. We are to recognize that they have gifts and strengths that are to be celebrated.

Those are ways that we can “Honor one another above ourselves.” Paul did not say to lower our own esteem, but rather, when we honor others, it lifts us up as well.

So, it appears that the Bible is a pretty good manual for counseling as well!

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the inspiration given in the Bible which helps our relationships, as well as giving honor to you, Amen.

“What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body.”                           Caroline Myss

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.                                                                                                                                                                  Psalm 139:14

The mind-body connection is a fascinating thing. I mean, we really cannot sperate the two because they are part of the whole- the components- that, along with our soul makes us…us. Our physical health and our mental health are inextricably connected. In fact, both affect one another constantly and often in subtle ways.

People who are under chronic stress age more quickly than those under less stress. The presence of stress hormones coursing through our body, especially when they should not be present at high levels, causes us to die prematurely.

I was recently talking with a client who had been raised in a dysfunctional family, where neglect was a way of life. It is the only way she knew to perceive the world. We discussed the effects of this, and it can properly be called trauma, even though she was not physically or sexually abused. Her way of looking at the world, and relationships, was altered in a way that caused her chronic stress.

She was always vigilant of the world around her, a world which was not seen as particularly safe or supportive. She learned to “read people” and find ways to navigate situations to ensure that she was emotionally safe, perhaps even physically safe.

Eventually, her body began to tell her that this was not healthy. She got into counseling, found that vigorous exercise was a way that she could find control and safety, and she eventually came to have excellent insight into how to better navigate a world that was not perpetually threatening to her.    

Our health care system seems to do an excellent job at treating illnesses when they are discovered. But our system does not do very well at prevention of problematic lifestyle issues, and the chronic stresses that we face which can lead to physical health problems.

Our reminder- physical, spiritual and emotional health are inextricably tied together. Proper healthcare means that we pay attention to all aspects of our being.

Prayer: Lord, you have designed us to have true integration of mind, body and Spirit. Help us to care for all parts of us, Amen

 You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.                 James 3:18 (Living Bible)

One of the roles of a counselor is to help clients refute the irrational beliefs that anxiety constantly brings into their mind. I recently had a client who suffers from social anxiety who had the belief that she was not interesting enough for other people. This was one of the lies of anxiety- “you are not worthy”.

We looked into some of her past and saw that she had become adept at trying to determine emotional safety by trying to figure out what might please or displease others. She had become risk aversive, and the irrational thought that supported this was that she should avoid others because they would find her uninteresting. In short, she felt that she might get rejected.

As we work through this, she is beginning to see herself as a person of worth and value. Further, it was not her responsibility to ensure that the other person would approve of her. It is her job to be truthful and caring, not to make herself “interesting” to others. Indeed, I told her “When you show interest in others, they find you interesting!”  This client has high empathy for others, and I know that if she takes the risk of reaching out to engage others, they will find her interest in them, “interesting”.

It is so rewarding to be able to give people the assurance that they may not have had in the past. I ended by asking the client to consider that she was well worth knowing, and that people needed to see her gift of empathy in action. To her credit, she agreed to try to engage one person next week to get to know them.

She is going to do just fine in that homework.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us in your image, and worthy of respect and care, Amen

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.                                               Psalm 19:1 (KJV)

Just right! That was the exclamation of little Goldilocks as she entered the house of the Three Bears. Goldilocks had tried out the porridge, and the chairs, and the beds of the Three Bears, and she would always find one too hard or too soft, or the porridge too hot or too cold. She would always land on one that was “just right”.

That is how astronomers and astrophysicists describe the conditions of the earth for the sustenance of life. The Goldilocks Effect. Other planets are too hot, or too cold, or just too toxic to sustain life. In all the universe, we only know, at this time, one planet of the billions out there that can sustain life. Our little old Earth- it is just right.

It is not a cosmic mistake or some crazy coincidence that Earth is the planet of life. The confluence of events that needed to happen for life to be sustained on Earth was a God-ordained miracle. If the angle of the Earth’s tilt varied much off of the mean of 23.5 degrees, life could not be sustained. If our distance from the sun was greatly different than the average of 93 million miles distant, we would boil or freeze, depending on the difference.

So, when we say, as does the Bible, that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and made intentionally, and with purpose, we speak the truth.   

So, at times we may feel insignificant and wonder about where God is in this world. He cared enough to create this place which is just right for life. What we do with that life is up to us. God gave us all the conditions that we need to live that life.

Prayer: Lord, we are amazed at this unique creation, which includes little old us! Amen

“Political activity has become obsessed with winning, eclipsing a shared commitment to the common good”.

Lilliana Mason, from her book “Uncivil Agreement: How Politics Became Our Identity”

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the supple moves of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.                 Matthew 5:43-47 (Living Bible)

So, think of that quote above from Lilliana Mason, and consider how unfortunately true that statement is. Politics no longer concerns itself with the common good, it is obsessed with winning. For many people, politics has become, or has actually displaced religion. Our compass for what is the right thing becomes the expedient, or winning political strategy, never mind the moral implications, or even what our Christian faith would direct us to do.

We have entered into a type of encounter with others that does not first consider what is the best way to uplift them, especially those who are poor or marginalized. The first question is one of political calculation, and what might be the winning position. We have normalized incivility to the point that cruelty, shaming, name calling, and slander have become the currency of political discourse.  

When politics becomes religion, winning is all that matters. Politics is draped in a type of religious fervor that wants people to believe that it is “saving the culture”. Don’t be fooled my friends, the only one that can save our culture, our anger and isolation from one another, is Jesus, who did not align himself with a political party. Instead, he said that we would not be popular for taking a stand that shows love for others. Popularity, or winning, was not the first consideration of Jesus.

Loving others is.

Prayer: Lord, save us from the myth of political power, Amen

Immature love says: “I love you because I need you” Mature love says I need you because I love you” Erich Fromm

I have an exercise that I give to my couples counseling clients that involves asking five simple questions that they share with one another in order to connect physically, spiritually and emotionally. One of those questions is “What do you need right now?”

A simple question, but an important one for several reasons. First, this gets each one in touch with what their own needs are. Often, we do not stop and think for ourselves what we might need at this moment. We need to first identify what we need before we can ask for it.

Another consideration is that sometimes we unconsciously assume that our partner knows what we need. We somehow expect that our partner can read our mind! It is just fine to identify what we need and then to ask for it. If we do not do that, we may get frustrated, and then we may blame it on the wrong person when that need is not met.

So, asking for what we need may seem like a simple thing- and it can be- but it does take some thought and communication.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us all the tools we need to communicate our needs, help us to use them well, Amen

Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of recommendation to you or from you?  You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone.  You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.     II Corinthians 3:1-3

‘Preach the gospel at all times. And if necessary, use words.’                                                      St. Francis of Assisi

Just a quick observation today. Paul was telling the people at Corinth that they themselves were the fruit of his teachings and ministry. Yes, he wrote letters, but the real message is the lives of those who hear and respond to that message. The word itself can be sterile, or misused if not informed by the Spirit of God. We are the living message of God’s plan.

Have you seen people twist the words of the Bible to their own ends? Didn’t some of the preachers in the Deep South in the early 1800’s pervert the words of the Bible to justify slavery? Yes, we can make the Bible say what we want it to, but the test of truth is the transformation it brings in the lives of the hearers.

Prayer: Lord, help us always to test the truth of your word with the Spirit’s guidance, Amen