But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law…          Galatians 4:4

The Christmas season is upon us, and I do love this time of year! I sit writing this blog listening to Josh Groban Christmas music. I look out the window at 4PM EST, and it is already starting to get dark. That’s the thing about my latitude and longitude here in North America. It starts to get dark really early as we approach Christmas.  

That paves the way for an abundance of artificial lights as we decorate for the season. I strung my outdoor lights weeks ago when the weather was a bit more favorable. I lit them just before Thanksgiving- yes, I rush the season. You see at my age, I really don’t know how many more Christmases I’ll get to enjoy. I’m not trying to be maudlin or pessimistic, I am just looking at the reality of the situation. Actually, it makes me cherish every Christmas, indeed every day, more fully.

Given the contentious nature of our culture these days, the Christmas season is a brief respite of joy and hope in a suffering, and often angry world. Today also happens to be the first Sunday of Advent. This Christmas season, this Advent, take pause to cherish each day. We are counting down to Christmas Day, the birthday of Jesus. Celebrate it!

On another happy note, willkommen to my newest German readers! I am so encouraged by your presence!

Prayer: Lord, help us to cherish each day, especially as we celebrate the birth of your son, Jesus.

We felt we were doomed to die and saw how powerless we were to help ourselves; but that was good, for then we put everything into the hands of God, who alone could save us, for he can even raise the dead. II Corinthains 1:9

Often when I speak with clients, and they appear to be angry, or if I ask them how they are feeling, they may say, “I’m not angry, I’m just frustrated!” It is interesting that we would rather not identify a feeling we are having as anger- we label it as something else. I suppose it is more acceptable to be feeling frustrated than feeling angry.

I often explain to my clients that frustration is actually a combination of anger plus the perceived loss of power. So, frustration is a little more complex than just anger. It actually is somehow worse, because we also then feel unable to go about acting on the difficult situation we may be in.

Sometimes it helps if we can more clearly identify the complex feelings we are having. We can own the idea that we are angry, and we can also clarify that we also are feeling helpless at the time. Usually, we are not totally helpless. There are things that we can do so that we feel more agency in directing ourselves or regulating our emotions. Indeed, sometimes it is merely acceptance of the fact that we cannot do anything to change our current situation. However, we can decide to accept our situation, and that in itself gives us some sense of having the ability to make the decision to accept.  

This reminded me of Viktor Frankl, who famously said of his Nazi captors- “They may control everything about my situation, but they cannot control my attitude about it.”

Prayer: Lord, help us when we feel powerless, knowing that you are always in control, Amen

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.                                                  Matthew 5:48

In thinking about the words of Jesus that we should “be perfect”, like the heavenly Father, I recognize that this is an aspirational goal. Interesting that Jesus invokes this message right after he tells us to love our enemies. How in the world can we do these things?

I believe that he is saying that we need to be on the road to perfection. You know, this side of heaven, we will never be perfect. But it is important to be on that road to perfection. As long as we are taking the right road, we can get to our destination. Yes, there may be potholes, and detours, traffic jams, wrong turns, etc. But as long as we are on the right road, we will eventually get to where we want to go- as long as we persevere.

Being on that right road is following the teachings and examples of Jesus. Having humility, loving others, recognizing that without Jesus we can do none of those things- that is the road to follow.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for giving us Jesus as the guide to the right road, Amen

For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that anyone who believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life                                                                      John 3:16 (Living Bible)

Here it is, the day after Thanksgiving and this is the unofficial start of the Christmas season! Yes, I know, the unofficial start of Christmas season may actually start from the day after Halloween, but let’s just say that it starts today. The “official” start should be the first Sunday of Advent which is coming this Sunday.  

As many of my readers, I love the Christmas season. It celebrates the coming of God to earth in the form of his son, Jesus. This Incarnation (in the flesh) visit to the earth is an amazing indication of God’s love for his people.

We take this opportunity as a human society to make merry in so many ways. We give gifts, we sing songs, we have parties, we decorate homes, and even illuminate cities with lights. It is a festive time indeed!

Indeed, our celebrations go far beyond the humble beginnings of the arrival of the Savior of the world. Yet, I don’t get too bothered by the fact that the culture has appropriated a holy, miraculous event and made it a worldly, marketing holiday. People need to set aside a time of year to show kindness to one another, and to take some time out of hectic schedules to ensure that they connect with friends and family in a special way.

As long as we remember that the coming of Jesus is the reason for the celebration, I think we’ll be OK.

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for the season to celebrate the incarnation of your son to a needy world, Amen

As I was thinking about a short Thanksgiving word to my readers, I was struck this morning about the decisions I make about breakfast. Do I want oatmeal, or cold cereal- maybe Cream of Wheat? Perhaps eggs and toast?

Easy and comforting decisions that I have as a person of privilege. I can decide what I want and then go to the pantry or refrigerator to prepare my breakfast.  Then I thought of the people in Gaza, Ukraine, and perhaps dozens of countries in the world where such choices would be agonizingly out of reach.

We are so blessed with food abundance- that is most of us. I am thankful for such an array of good food that I can choose from. Many people in the world do not have such luxury. So, as we prepare to feast today on delicious food, at the blessing that precedes the feast, thank God for his provision, and pray for those who do not have such options. Better yet, find a charity that helps to deal with food insufficiency and donate to it as an offering of thanks.

Happy Thanksgiving my friends!  

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

I Corinthians 13:6-8

I recently had a discussion with a client about the tension between control and trust. It seems that the more control we seek, the less we trust. The more trust we have, the less need for control. When we seek to have a lot of control, it does not usually come from a position of trust- it is from a position of fear. People, religions, governments, etc. which try to exert high control seem to have little trust in the inherent nature of themselves or their mission if it must be maintained by force.

For example, during the Inquisition period, the Church would seek out “heretics” or “infidels” or “witches”, and through torture or coercion of some type, try to bring that person back into the “right beliefs” of the Church. Beginning in the 13^th Century until the early 17^th Century, such practices waxed and waned in Europe. The net effect was not only failure to control the thinking of people, it left a permanent stain on the institutional Church.

If we rely upon some type of external control, violent or subtle, in order to ensure compliance to certain beliefs, we have given up on faith and trust, and leaned into control. So, it is true in relationships as well. Partners who do not trust the other partner will try to control the other’s behavior- directly or indirectly. The result is less trust, more distance, and resentment.

We seem to naturally want to control so many things around us, but control is elusive and often selfish. Trust is the better way to maintain and enhance relationships.

Prayer: Lord, help us to trust more and try to control less, Amen

Mankind, He has told you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God.                                                    Micah 6:8

I recently saw the movie Bonhoeffer. I recommend it as a great example of the way to speak truth to power. Jesus was a perfect example of this principle. In the end, it cost Jesus his life. Bonhoeffer followed the example of Jesus and ended up being killed for his bold courage in standing up to Hitler.

The Christian example is not one of seeking power, but rather speaking truth when injustice is being perpetrated. Bonhoeffer resisted as Hitler nationalized the German Church, and Bonhoeffer founded the “Confessing Church” in Germany as a remnant of truth in a country that had given in to Hitler’s reign of terror. He spoke out against Hitler’s treatment of Jews and minorities, and it ended up costing him his life.

While the truth sets us free, it also can have a high cost.

Prayer: Lord, give us the courage to speak the truth, no matter the cost, Amen

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.                                                                                                                                   Jeremiah 31:3

Sometimes we just have to learn to accept things before we can begin to understand them. Sometimes, we will never understand. We are wired to be curious, to try to figure things out. That is a good thing. It drives us to learn, to grow. However, there are some things we just need to accept.

In addictions, the addicted individual may never really understand the biological dynamics of their addiction. Understanding the addiction won’t likely help to overcome the addiction. Only abstinence from the substance will give the addict the needed space to heal and get some recovery under his/her belt, but they may never really understand why they became addicted. They simply accept that their best efforts left them addicted, and that acceptance of the help of friends, family and sober support is what they need to stay clean.

Only after acceptance can understanding begin.  Grace works that way. We do not really understand grace, we simply accept that it has been given to us. If we can accept the beauty of grace, unmerited favor, we can enjoy its benefits.

I’m not sure that we will ever understand why God loves us as he does. But just because we don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t true. (Yes, there are a lot of double negatives here, but hang with it!) Some people try to overthink this because they feel unlovable. “How can God love me when I don’t love myself”, some may say.

I say, don’t try to understand that- just accept it.

Prayer: You have made us to be curious, to try to understand. Thank you for that. More than that we need to accept your love for us, extravagant as it is, Amen.

Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his;
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture                                      Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.                                                  Psalm 100:3-5

As we approach Thanksgiving Day here in the United States, I think that the above passage is timely. Suffering and hurt are always present with the human condition, but our mandate to be thankful is not dependent upon lack of suffering. So many people around the world are suffering devastating wars, such as the people in Ukraine, and people in Gaza, to just name two situations.  

Perhaps you are suffering from illness or personal loss at this time. Yet we are called upon to be thankful for life itself. All good gifts come from God, and we are to recognize this as his humble creation.

Prayer: Lord, we are a thankful people, Amen

He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak                            Isaiah 40:29

Often, other people see things in us that we do not see in ourselves. One of the things that I do as a counselor is get to know my clients, and try to see in them things that they may not see for themselves. Indeed, clients give me permission to speak into their lives, giving them constructive feedback, as well as encouragement. It is an act of humility on the part of a client to give such permission, especially to someone that they do not know. They are showing a level of trust in me before they even know me. I deeply appreciate that trust, and it is my job to honor that by being truthful, holding their best interest at stake, keeping their information confidential, and seeing them as God does as best I can.

As people unfold their story to me, I can gradually get to know how they see the world. I also begin to see strengths in them that they may not see, or maybe they have never given the chance to develop. It is my job to look for those strengths so that we can employ them in dealing with problems, or helping them to manage those strengths better. Remember, strengths to an extreme can become weaknesses, so we must learn to manage those strengths well.

We saw when Jesus chose his disciples that he picked people who were not, in the world’s eyes, the most successful people, or the most learned people. Yet Jesus saw something in them that they did not see in themselves.

John, for example, was called, along with his brother, “a son of thunder” because he had a volatile temper, and an arrogant view about his position in life. Simon, later called Peter, was an exuberant, impulsive, man who frequently spoke before he thought.  He was not the most stable of people in making commitments.

Yet Jesus saw in them characteristics that they did not see themselves. Their affiliation with Jesus transformed them into the men they could be. Jesus had seen that potential, and he spoke that into them.

John later became the loving apostle who wrote such beautiful commentary on how we should love one another. Volatile Simon became “Peter, the Rock”, the one on whom Jesus said he would help build his church. Imagine Simon hearing that he was a “rock”- a solid, capable man of strength. Sometimes, when we hear about the person who we CAN become, we DO become that person.

Prayer: Father, thank you for people who see things in us that we do not see for ourselves. Give us the humility to receive it well, Amen.