There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.                                                                                Galatians 3:28

Today is St. Patrick’s Day. Whatever your genealogical background, today is the day you reach back and try to find some Irish in your background.  As far as I can tell, there is probably no Irish in my line, or at least not much. However, there are some distant English genes there, so who knows?

There has been a lot of interest in the past decade or so about genealogy, thanks to programs like Ancestry and 23 and Me, and perhaps some other services that offer genetic testing to delve into our distant origins. It is kind of fun to find out how our DNA has been passed on. The interesting thing to me is that we find that our genetic histories show a great deal of diversity if we go back far enough.

So, this St. Patrick’s Day, celebrate your background, even if it is not Irish. Put on a bit of green, eat some corned beef and cabbage, try your luck at a bad Irish brogue, and wish someone a Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

And have a celebration of your own background, no matter what it might be!  

Prayer: Lord, thank you for your plan of diverse backgrounds, united in Jesus, Amen

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets                                                     Matthew 7:12

I was speaking with a client the other day about his relationship with his wife. He is in a good marriage, and the couple has some family challenges which they handle with grace and care. The husband told me that he often does not feel a great deal of warmth and empathy from his wife. He recognizes that she carries a big load in primarily taking care of the children, and also working a part-time job.

We discussed some ideas about enhancing communication, and he found that to be helpful. We later discussed the idea of modeling the type of behavior to her that he would like in return. Much of the communication that we truly pay attention to is non-verbal, as well as tone of voice when words are spoken. I have often said that the experience of warmth comes from effective non-verbal communication- smiles, eye-contact, and gentle touch.

The old concept of treating people the way we would like to be treated gives us a sense of control. We can actually reinforce the things that we would like to experience from others. We can be the model to others of what we expect from them.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be the examples of you in the world, Amen

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens                    Ecclesiastes 3:1

Just a quick observation today. I was recently watching a commercial that featured Kareem Abdul Jabar (whom I originally knew as Lew Alcindor), and he looked old. That is because Kareem Abdul Jabar is old. He is advertising a product that fits my demographic.  Yes, apparently, I am old too.

It does not seem like that long ago that Lew Alcindor broke onto the national scene at UCLA under coach John Wooden, and his freshman team beat the defending national champion upperclassmen Bruins. In those days, freshmen were not eligible to play varsity. Had Alcindor been allowed to play, UCLA would have won the national championship his freshman year.

Alcindor literally changed the game of college basketball. Because of his dominance, dunking the basketball was disallowed for several years- just to level the playing field due to his talent. Later, Alcindor led UCLA to national titles, and later, as Kareem Abdul Jabar, he had earned several NBA championships.

But now, he is an old man, like me. The memories are great, but reality remains. Another generation takes over. I don’t really, in some ways, see myself as old, but when I am in meetings and some other social gatherings, I am the oldest guy in the room.

Funny how we see ourselves just a bit differently than reality, right?

Prayer: Lord, you have been so good to allow us to see seasons of change over our lifetime, Amen

Since we, God’s children, are human beings—made of flesh and blood—he became flesh and blood too by being born in human form; for only as a human being could he die and in dying break the power of the devil who had the power of death.  Only in that way could he deliver those who through fear of death have been living all their lives as slaves to constant dread.

 We all know he did not come as an angel but as a human being—yes, a Jew.  And it was necessary for Jesus to be like us, his brothers, so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God, a Priest who would be both merciful to us and faithful to God in dealing with the sins of the people.  For since he himself has now been through suffering and temptation, he knows what it is like when we suffer and are tempted, and he is wonderfully able to help us.                                                                           Hebrews 2:14-18 (Living Bible)

Did Jesus experience fear? Yes, I am sure that he did. He took on life as a human being, and therefore, took on the fullness of humanity. This included all of the human emotions – sadness, anger, hurt, joy, fear, etc. Jesus had voluntarily given up control of certain situations where he could have simply commanded a certain response, and it would have happened. The man who could raise the dead, walk on water, cure the sick, and feed 5,000 people with a few fish and loaves could do anything he chose.

But he willingly gave up control in the end so that he could suffer and die at the hands of the Romans and the ruling Jewish leaders. So, yes, Jesus got angry at injustice and the callous treatment of the poor and oppressed. He became angry at the money changers in the temple who had turned that place of worship into a profit center. And I am guessing that in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before his crucifixion, he was anxious and afraid. He had even asked the Father if that cup of suffering he was facing could be avoided, knowing that it could not.

There are many instances of Jesus experiencing the true emotions of humans, because he became one of us. During this Lenten season, I am reflecting more on how Jesus loved us to the point of joining us here on Earth in all that we do. He had joy, sadness, fear, anger, disappointment, frustration, hope and overwhelming love.

Something to ponder as we approach Good Friday and Easter, my friends.

Prayer: Lord, help us to have more perspective on a love that gave all for us, Amen

That great philosopher, Ted Lasso, said the line “be curious, not judgmental” on his popular streaming series of the same name. Okay, Ted Lasso’s character was that of a soccer coach, not a philosopher, but he was truly good at both.

The series, Ted Lasso, arrived around the time of COVID-19 scourge, and boy, was that series ever needed at the time! Ted Lasso’s (Jason Sudeikis) gentle, optimistic philosophy on life, and his humility and open kindness were a real balm in the midst of the pandemic.

The line, be curious, not judgmental, has often been attributed to the poet Walt Whitman. After some rather cursory research, it appears that this is not actually correct. However, the source does not really matter- the truth of the statement matters.

As I have engaged various friends over the past months about our differing political opinions, the truth of the statement, “Be Curious” keeps resonating. Trying to convince one another is much less important than being curious and trying to understand why others think about things in a different way.  

Of course, this takes discipline and humility, and those are some of the virtues I appreciated most about the character Ted Lasso. I am far from perfect in this, but it is a great aspirational goal.

So, my friends, Be Curious!

Point your kids in the right direction—
    when they’re old they won’t be lost.                                                                                                                 Proverbs 22:6 (The Message)

There are many complicated parts to the relationship of parent and child. Almost everyone can identify some way that one (or both, perhaps) of their parents made a mistake(s) in raising them. This is true- because it is! Parents are human and we are imperfect.

 Every one of us who is a parent can identify things we could have done for (or with) our kids when they were young. There are things that we could have said or not said, different decisions that we could have made with them, etc., etc. That being said, the vast majority of parents wanted to do the right thing by their kids. Their motives were good even if follow through was not perfect.

I often end up speaking to my clients (all of whom at this point are adults), about their need to have the approval of their parents. No matter the age of the client, or their parent, there is a part of them that wants approval from their parents. I suspect that there is good reason for this. When we are young, children are completely dependent upon their parents for survival. From just an evolutionary concept, it certainly behooves kids to please those who hold their life in their hands!

Beyond that, there is a bond that develops that encourages a nurturing relationship between parent and child. That need to please our parents changes over time, but the concept remains true. We want mom and dad to approve of us- to be proud of us.

I also talk with clients about the fact that parents almost universally did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time they were raising their kids. They did not intentionally set out to mess up their kids!

So much to be said about the complicated world of parenting!

Prayer: Lord, we can better understand your love for us as we love our children…

Regular readers of this blog are familiar with my beloved Maggie, our cherished mixed breed dog who has rested in our back yard gravesite since 2005. I recently wrote about Maggie and her longevity as a “mutt” and our affection for her over the 17 years of her life.  

What I have not yet shared is that my son’s dog, Griffey (a namesake of former Reds baseball star Ken Griffey Jr,), also now lies in rest with Maggie in that same little plot. Griffey, a beautiful mix of Australian Shepherd and Poodle, did not live as long as Maggie, but his life was no less meaningful.

Griffey darted in front of a car several months ago- something very uncharacteristic of him. He died quickly, and that was the blessing in this very sad affair. Griffey had helped my son through a somewhat difficult stretch as a loving companion. Now Griffey rests with Maggie in a little plot that I tenderly care for, and he will now help nourish the crabapple tree planted in Maggie’s honor.   

All of God’s creation is special. Our pets are, of course, a little more special to us, and remembering them is right and honorable. God gave us animals for our enjoyment and our sustenance. We need to be thankful for all of his creation, but forgive me for being partial to certain dogs who lie in peace in my back yard, forever to be remembered and cared for.

Prayer: Thank you, Lord, for the gift of pets who are so special to us, Amen

“We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.”                                                                                             Vince Lombardi

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls                                                                                  Hebrews 12:1-3

                                                                                         

This is one of my favorite quotes from the Hall of Fame Green Bay Packer Coach. He was a great motivator, and this saying is at once an affirmation and a challenge. He essentially built up his guys by saying, “you guys are winners- no one can beat you!” He also was challenging them by implying that the only way that they could lose is if they quit trying (or time ran out).

I really like the idea that the only way we can fail is if we quit trying. Losing a game is not failure if you have put in your hardest work, and never quit trying. Failure is when you quit trying.

In the analogy of our lives, we need to keep moving, keep working, keep trying, even when we don’t feel like it. Jobs, relationships, parenting, maintaining health, etc. can be hard things that we need to work on. As long as we are striving, we are in that game of life. However, when we quit trying, when we give up hope or striving to succeed, failure will come eventually.

I tell my clients that movement is life. We were designed to be in motion. Working our disciplines, whatever they are, is critical to maintaining physical and mental health.

When we stop caring, we begin to fail.

But what about a person who is depressed? Good question- we talk about that tomorrow…

Prayer: Lord, continue to give us strength and hope for the future, Amen

Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I’m not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd’s crook makes me feel secure.                                                              Psalm 23:4 (The Message)

I was speaking to a client the other day about breathing. Obviously, we take breathing for granted- we have to do it every few seconds in order to remain alive. However, breathing is both voluntary and involuntary. In other words, we can take control of our breathing (voluntary), but if we don’t think about it, we will breathe involuntarily. That is one of the remarkable things about how we are made. The incredible sympathetic and parasympathetic systems that are built into our brain.

In dealing with anxiety, I tell my clients that when we are stressed, we need to take more control- control being the antidote to anxiety. The more control we have, the less anxious we feel. The natural place to start taking control is our breathing. If we can take control of that, we are in control of our bodies. The message to our brain is- “I am in control of me”. Therefore, anxiety is not in control of me, but I can control the anxiety.

Anxiety, as I have stated before, is our “unwanted travelling partner”. So, I say, let’s make peace with that partner, but let the anxiety know who is in control. We are in the driver’s seat, and anxiety is in the passenger seat- whether or not we want that partner riding along!

Everyone struggles with anxiety at some point- some a little, some a lot, but we all deal with it to some degree. Since this is a common characteristic of humankind, I say we ask one another for help with it when we need it. Nobody needs to struggle alone with anxiety- it is a “team sport”.

So, we do what we can on our own, and we CAN do things to control anxiety, but when we need help, we ask for it.

That, my friends, is healing.

Prayer: Lord, you told us so often in the Bible to “fear not” Help us to remind ourselves of that promise, Amen

Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven.  And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.                                           Matthew 16:17

 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”                    Matthew 16:23

In the Gospel of Matthew chapter 16, in the space of just a few verses, Jesus tells Peter that he will become the rock upon which his church will be built, followed by an admonition that Peter had more human concerns than godly thinking.

Pretty wild sequence, right? Peter goes from favored child to clueless follower in a short space of time. Now, I am not a Bible scholar, but I think those actions came pretty close together in time. Peter was human, and he could have great insights, as well as thoughtless moments in a very short sequence!

Yeah, he was just like us. We make these kinds of mistakes all the time, yet Jesus never throws us away. Jesus did not strip Peter of his place as a leader just because of a thoughtless sequence of events. Peter was impulsive and passionate. That passion was the very reason Jesus chose him.

Yet, our greatest strengths become our greatest weaknesses if we do not manage them well. Peter was just like us. We have strengths that we must manage in order to become the most effective selves that we were designed to be.

Prayer: Lord, help us to manage our strengths well, Amen