Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me                                                                                                        Psalm 23:4

I recently spoke with a client about the need for stepping forth in faith in order to overcome fears. I used the example from the Indiana Jones movie– In Search of the Holy Grail. You may remember the scene. Indiana Jones comes to a deep gorge which he must cross in order to get to the Holy Grail. He is almost to the end of his arduous search, but he must cross the gorge, and there is no obvious way across. He knows, however, that the instructions say that he must take a step before the bridge appears. What a leap of faith was required!

As we know, when he took that fateful step, the bridge did appear, and he was able to cross to find the grail. How often do we find in life that we need to take that frightening first step in order to see the way out of our situation. It is extremely hard, and we are often turned away by fear. But, the reward can be great for taking that step.

Prayer: Lord, help us when we need to take that first hard step, Amen

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love                           I John 4:18

This is Holy Week. It started with Palm Sunday, and it will end, of course, with Easter Sunday. This annual church liturgical calendar is important and reassuring. Liturgy gives us a sense of predictability in a world that is anything but predictable. Year after year, we are reminded of the great story of redemption and love that the cross, and ultimately the Resurrection, provides.

This also is a reminder of how quickly people can go from praising Jesus as Messiah to calling for his death just a few days later. Of course, the Roman and Jewish leaders were instrumental in finding a way to dispose of Jesus who posed a threat to the established religious hierarchy. Jesus did as he said- he came to fulfil the law, not to abolish it. Those who put him to death were driven by fear, because Jesus represented something that they did not yet comprehend. Their response to something they feared? Simply kill it.

Fear is a dangerous emotion. It can cause people to react violently when they are threatened- or even think they are threatened. The misunderstanding of the message of Jesus caused the authorities to be fearful of loss of power. His message of love was completely overwhelmed by the power of fear.

I trust that we pay attention in our own turbulent times to that message. Perfect loves casts out fear.

We have cause to celebrate because the grace of God has appeared, offering the gift of salvation to all people. Grace arrives with its own instruction: run away from anything that leads us away from God; abandon the lusts and passions of this world; live life now in this age with awareness and self-control, doing the right thing and keeping yourselves holy.             Titus 2:11-12

I have worked with a lot of people over the years who have addictions of various types. We can be addicted to anything. Anything.  The reason for that is the natural tendency to avoid pain or unpleasant situations or feelings. So, we look for remedies. The problem is that the remedy itself often becomes an addiction.

 Addictions are shortcuts to feel better. They offer immediate gratification, and numb the pain. People use substances, at first to feel good- later they must use them just not to feel bad.

Some of our addictions are somewhat innocuous and socially acceptable- for example,             my addiction to caffeine. That is one we even joke about, and it is a very common addiction. Then there are food addictions which are often socially acceptable, but are not good for our bodies, such as addiction to sugar- more or less a societal addiction.

Obviously, many addictions are not so harmless, and they are complex and dangerous. Anything that makes us feel good right away- something that immediately takes our brain’s pleasure center captive, is addictive. There are complex physical and emotional reasons for this, but suffice it to say, once the brain gets used to such chemical changes and the addiction takes over, recovery is monumentally difficult.

So, what are some of your addictions? We all have them!

Prayer: You have given us the remedy for a broken world, help us to deal with our own remedies which can be destructive, Amen. 

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.  For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.  But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load. Galatian 6:2-5

As has been often quoted, “The goal of counseling is not happiness”. A true statement. I tell my clients, the goal of counseling is not happiness, but rather, responsibility. If one takes responsibility for their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors, then they can attain a level of happiness.

Taking responsibility for our own actions and feelings is sometimes difficult. We can tend to project onto others the reasons that we are angry or hurt, or sad. Other people are not the cause of my emotional responses.

Yes, people can and do hurtful or insensitive things to us. We all can be selfish and thoughtless. Our actions may cause hurts and harm to others. However, the response we have to such actions are the things under our control. We have the choice to hurt those that hurt us, or to blame others for our responses. Or, we can own our own responses and deal with our own emotions in a healthier way.

Prayer: Lord, give us the strength to take responsibility for our own emotional responses, Amen

Come to me and I will give you rest—all of you who work so hard beneath a heavy yoke. Wear my yoke—for it fits perfectly—and let me teach you; for I am gentle and humble, and you shall find rest for your souls; for I give you only light burdens.                                                 Matthew 11:28-30 (Living Bible)

Five years ago. It was a shared trauma that we experienced together, and it changed us. COVID-19 slammed into the United States in early 2020, and we have not been the same since. I think it will take even more perspective of time passage before we really understand how profoundly our world has changed since the onset of COVID-19.

We saw caskets being unloaded in cities around the world. New York City morgues were overflowing. We saw pictures of Italian hospitals and morgues where they could not find space for more bodies. We saw burials on an island off New York City that was pressed into service for the bodies of poor and homeless victims who had succumbed to the disease.

There were plans to bring the HOPE ship into the New York harbor to alleviate overcrowded and overwhelmed hospitals. We saw doctors and nurses who had lines etched onto their faces from having worn surgical masks for untold hours non-stop. My daughter was one of them.

I have not even begun to mention the fear of the unknown that we dealt with early in the pandemic. We went to grocery stores (or had groceries delivered in many cases), and we wiped down boxes and containers with Clorox or alcohol wipes. We just did what we could, and worried that it might not be enough.

We saw heroic actions of emergency and medical workers trying to save lives at the risk of their own. We prayed daily for protection from an unknown killer. We just didn’t know what was coming next. We prayed for the delivery of a vaccine that offered some protection.

That, my friends, was a traumatic time that we experienced together. I wish that it had the effect of bringing us closer together as some traumas might. Alas, it seemed to divide us and break us apart in many ways. As we know, trauma is a crisis that has the potential to unite or divide.

Maybe we can still salvage some unity as we look back on the last five years. I hope so.

Prayer: Lord, we are reminded that our only real hope is in you, Amen

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid                                                                           John 14:27

Just a short word today about peace. In a world where peace is ever more elusive, we need to be intentional about finding it for ourselves. We cannot be at peace with others if we do not have an inner peace- a peace that the Disciple John wrote was “not as the world gives.”

I remembered the other day the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.                                                                                                      Matthew 25:40

I was recently speaking with a client who is feeling the effects of the current political upheaval. She feels helpless in light of sweeping changes in her field of employment. She has lost a sense of agency- that is, the ability to impact the world around her.

We all need to have a sense of the ability to impact our world in a positive way. The “macro” world is too big for most of us to alter in a meaningful way. We do not have vast political or financial power to effect large changes in our country. So, how do we react when we feel that we have lost our impact? What do we do when we feel small and powerless?

I suggested to her that she, in the words of the old proverb, “don’t try to change the world, but change the world for some of those people around her.”  In other words, she can still have real impact. She can volunteer at a preschool or nursing home; she can mentor kids; she can work at a food pantry; the list goes on and on.

The important thing is to not give in to a sense of powerlessness. We are called to have impact- to raise our voice against injustice, and to help others in need. Yes, we often can do very little in the “macro” world of political structure, but we can have very positive impact right where we live.

Prayer: Lord, give us the wisdom to determine how we can impact the world right around us, Amen

Do we really have it?

And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others                                                                                                         II Corinthians 9:8

I was thinking the other day about the paradox of control. As I have said often in this space, control is the antidote to anxiety. The more control we have, or believe that we have, generally the less anxiety we have. Anxiety really arises out of our sense of little or no control in situations- real or imagined.

The paradox of control is this- we have more control than we realize, but less than we think we do. What do I mean by that?

Let’s begin…

When I say that we have more control than we realize, I mean that there are often aspects of situations we are in whereby we only see the external threats. We believe that other people or situations are overwhelming and powerful, and there seems to be nothing that we can do.  The truth is, we have control over our own thoughts and actions- our adaptive assessments and behaviors.

During times of high stress and anxiety we tend to minimize our own power or strengths. Maybe that is because we are just emotionally flooded. Or perhaps, the situation seems so threatening that whatever we think we can do seems puny in comparison.

The truth is, having control over our own thoughts and behaviors is incredibly powerful. We also must consider that part of our power is the power of our team. As I have said before, anxiety control is a “team effort”, and we must be ready, willing and aware to ask for help from our team.

What about the “less than we think” part? Well, we like to believe that we can change others so that we can escape from their control. The truth is, we are unlikely to change other people, but heaven knows we try! We do not need to change others to have peace and anxiety control, so let’s not count on changing the minds of others in order to minimize our own anxiety.

Just my thoughts for the day friends, what think you?

Prayer: Lord, you have given us all that we need to face difficulties. We can rely upon you, Amen

The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.                Matthew 13:22

By any measure, the United States is a wealthy country. No surprise there. In fact, the State of the Nation Project (see www.stateofnation.org) recently released a study showing that the United States outperformed 98% of the rest of the world in “Economic Output”. Here comes the rest of the story…

The United States outperforms only 70% of the world in current life satisfaction; 66% of the world in trust in the police; 33% of the world in belief in democracy, and only 11% of the world in depression and anxiety measures.

Are you surprised? Shocked even? I was not surprised by the “Life Satisfaction” results. I had seen those types of numbers before. However, the United States outperformed only 33% of the world in “Belief in Democracy”. Let that sink in- the trust measure for the world’s oldest and most successful democracy is in the bottom third of the world!

The United States is near the bottom of the world in the mental health measures of depression and anxiety. Nearly 90% of the world fares better in what I would call “measures of personal peace”.

As has been so clear for thousands of years, wealth and a sense of personal peace are not well related. In fact, in the case of the United States, they are almost inversely proportional!

Ah, but we already know that real peace rests in relationship with Jesus and trust in his care of us.  

Prayer: Lord, you are the source of real peace, and we are grateful, Amen

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God                                      Micah 6:8

Our pastor yesterday had a sermon about God’s will for our lives. It was good, and it made me think. How do we determine God’s will? In general, of course, God would have us love him and be loved by him, just like any good father. However, he created us as curious and active beings, and we of course want to know a specific will for our lives. We ask, “What would God have me do?” “What am I created to do?” “What is my mission in life?” “Why am I here on planet Earth?”

I believe that God did not ordain any specific will or plan for our life that we need to work hard to figure out. It is not as if God knows some hidden mission and he sets us on a giant quest to find it out. In fact, I think it is far simpler than that.  

We can go in whatever direction we would like, based upon our gifts, our experiences and our passion. As long as we set out to first honor God in whatever particular field or endeavor we have chosen, He can bless our course.  

Yes, God has equipped all of us with various talents and gifts right from our conception. Perhaps some have certain musical, or artistic, or athletic, or whatever type of gift to be found- there is partly a genetic component to our gifts and talents.

We have all gained valuable experiences (both positive and negative) from our birth and on through life. This helps to shape our way of thinking. Finally, in our hearts, we all have certain things we are drawn to- things we love to do- which are our passions.   

We put together information from those three areas to find that mission: God-given talents and gifts; life experiences; areas of interest or passion.

If we direct ourselves in pursuit of God in any mission or career, we have found God’s will for our life.    

Prayer: Lord, thank you for making us in your image, and desiring a mission in this life, Amen