All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one               Matthew 5:37

Have I not written thirty sayings for you, sayings of counsel and knowledge,
 teaching you to be honest and to speak the truth, so that you bring back truthful reports
    to those you serve?                                                                                                                                            Proverbs 22: 20-21

Sometimes people get confused about the difference between character and reputation. I am thinking that politicians are particularly susceptible to this, in that they spend a great deal of time crafting their reputation and electability. Reputation is the external part that they want/need to convey and protect.

Character is the internal part of us- our values and virtues that we must cultivate as human beings in order to live successfully and peaceably in this world and with ourselves. Many people spend a great deal of time cultivating and protecting a reputation that may or may not reflect their internal character.

Reputations may fluctuate over time. Sometimes reputations may take a hit when a decision of character needs to be made. None of us is perfect in this realm. Most people care about their reputation- and they should- because it is important to our standing in society.

However, we all need to spend more time in character development than in reputation management. When these forces conflict, when we need to decide whether to do the right thing or the popular thing, character is often vividly revealed.

The current political landscape has left many people deeply skeptical of our elected officials. We have seen positions taken on issues that are simply pandering to a certain political base. We do not truly know what many of those elected really believe and what they are willing to defend. We (they) just know what gets them elected. We are all flawed, but elected office, sadly, seems to bring out the worst in people. Again, this is not all politicians, but the landscape and the position make it an especially dangerous occupational hazard.

Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. What truth there is in that simple statement.

Prayer: Lord, your Spirit is the shaper and protector of character. Help us to yield to that prompting, Amen

O Lord, what a variety of things you have made!
    In wisdom you have made them all.     
    The earth is full of your creatures                                                                         Psalm 104:24

I recently watched a PBS show on NOVA about the James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) and how it was made. It was nearly 30 years in the making and planning of it, and the cost- well, let’s not talk about how much it cost.

Suffice it to say that the project was massive, a technological marvel, a monument to both the engineers and scientists that made this astronomical breakthrough. I am not able to explain the scope of the project, obviously, but it made me think of two things- the majesty of God’s creation, and the amazing gift of intelligence and curiosity that God made in mankind.

Those people pushed the envelope of technology, such as needing to plan for temperatures that could ruin the delicate machine, and how to protect its exquisite structure for the mission. The result was the ability to see into the past. Light from distant galaxies takes millions of light years to reach the earth. As the universe expands, galaxies are moving away from one another. The vastness of our universe defies explanation. It is too marvelous for words or comprehension.   

The Master Creator who made the heavens and earth also made the people who are trying to understand it. Both are marvels of God’s creation. My response?

Wow.

Prayer: Lord, your creation is too marvelous for mere words, Amen

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love                                                           I John 4:18

Today, April 24^th marks a sad and devastating anniversary. It was on this date in 1915 that the genocide on the Armenian people was begun by the crumbling Ottoman Empire. World War I was raging, and the Ottoman Empire was aligned with Germany, Austria-Hungary and Bulgaria as part of the Central Powers. They were opposed principally by France, the United Kingdom, Italy, Russia, and later the United States and much of the rest of the world (to a lesser extent).

There were many explanations of the Armenian genocide, mainly the fear of impending doom by the leaders of the Ottoman Empire. The Ottoman leaders feared that the mostly Christian Armenians would overtake the weakened Ottoman Empire, especially if the Empire was on the losing side in the World War.

Such general fear is the basis of so many irrational and inhumane acts that we witness. The Armenian genocide is recognized as perhaps the first modern genocide. Unfortunately, several more have followed in the 20^th and 21^st century. We like to think that as we evolve in our humanity and reasoning, and we make progress toward making life better for people, that such behavior would diminish. However, there remains this basic emotion of fear that can be weaponized in times of uncertainty.

I write this because we need to remember that the human race is capable of devouring itself. I also write this in order to maintain the witness that the devastation of the Armenian people should not be relegated to the dusty back pages of history. This cautionary tale reminds us that we are capable of incredible damage to one another.

Jesus came to earth as the savior of the people he loved- his entire creation. His message holds strong more than ever today- we must love one another, or we will fall prey to those who preach hate.

Prayer: Lord, remind us daily of your love for all people, Amen

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had Romans 15:5

  We conclude today with the last two roles of counselor. Once again, this is my personal take on such roles, and other counselors may name other roles.

The last two are “SafeSpace” and “Diagnostician.” The idea of “safe space” is just that. The counselor becomes a safe, non-judgmental person to whom the client can open up with his/her deepest hurts, fears, secrets, doubts, and transgressions.  The fact that the counseling session is confidential allows such interaction. The ability to simply bring into the open such deep feelings and thoughts is freeing in and of itself. Light breaks the power of darkness- those things which can hold us captive. And there is, of course the biblical axiom, “The truth shall set you free”. It does.

Finally, a counselor performs the role of diagnostician. Diagnosis is probably more an art than a science, although it is informed by rules and scientific research. In the world of insurance and third-party payers (such as Medicaid, for example), diagnosis becomes an essential tool.

It is important also as a way to communicate with other clinicians when a client is referred to others, and it is a way of explaining to the client that there is a name for what they are suffering, and that there are ways to successfully deal with it. It becomes an educational and clinical tool, not a label of failure. This is an important distinction which I typically share with my clients.

So there you have it my friends. I hope this little digression from typical posts has not been distracting.

Blessings!

The full list I gave earlier, in Part 1 is:

• Encourager
• Accountability Person
• Giver of Objective Feedback
• Resource Provider
• Tool Provider/Teacher
• Safe Space
• Diagnostician

Today I continue with some of the roles of a counselor. The other day, I discussed the roles of “encourager, “accountability person”, and “giver of objective feedback”. Today I will talk about a couple more of those roles.

The role of “resource provider” is important because we recognize that people need support from other people in their lives and in their community. I will also always discuss the interplay of physical health and mental health, and I will typically direct clients to make sure that they have had a recent physical exam. I want to rule out issues such as thyroid problems, diabetes, or any other neurological or hormonal basis for mood disorders.

Depending on the needs of the client, I may suggest a group like Celebrate Recovery DivorceCare, or GriefShare- nationally known groups that provide specific Christian support for specific issues. I will of course suggest AA, or Alanon, or Sexual Addiction groups for those in need of addiction recovery. The fellowship of a church is often a crucial support, as well as an accepting place to work out issues of spiritual growth. I will also suggest support groups for specific chronic illnesses, caregivers support groups- well the list goes on. The point is, part of my job is to recognize the needs of clients, research or be aware of community resources, and encourage their attendance as part of a treatment plan.

The last one to discuss today is “tool provider/teacher”. I use instruments such as the StrengthFinder test, temperament tests, handouts like “Fair Fighting Rules” or “Separation Agreements”, my “5 questions” for couples, naming just a few tools that I tend to employ. I often take on the role of teacher to explain to clients what exactly depression, or PTSD, or anxiety is. One of the tools I often give to clients is the “anxiety tool kit” to give some specific behaviors that can help deal with anxiety.

Tomorrow I will finish up the list of roles to better help explain the role of a counselor. That is all for now, blessings to you today!

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.  Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.                     I Corinthians 13:11-12

How does your faith grow? Are you in the same place now in your faith as you were 10, 20, maybe 30 years ago? As we grow, we have a different understanding of the faith that guides us. Jesus never changes, but our understanding of him certainly does- or it should.

We have, over our lives, (admittedly, some of us have lived longer than others!), changed in our understanding of God.  We have seen much and experienced much, and through those lenses, we see God acting in the world.

God is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow, but we are not. We grow in our understanding of God. So, I challenge my readers. Do you see God the same way today as you did when you were younger? Has your faith evolved as you have grown in wisdom and grace?

Prayer: Lord, help us to see you clearly, even if we see you differently than we did when we were young, Amen

He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.                    Matthew 28:6

To my dear readers, I wish you a blessed and joyous Easter! This is the highest holiday of the Christian calendar because it is the embodiment- literally- of Jesus overcoming death by his physical resurrection from the dead. There is hope in his resurrection for all. He died for us, and he rose again. What love he displayed- love that he expects us to share.

Happy Easter!

…turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding                                            Proverbs 2:2

In thinking about my role as a counselor, I decided to make a little list for my readers, perhaps some of whom are not familiar with counseling. This list of roles is in no particular order, and we don’t do all of these tasks every session or with every client. These are simply some general categories.

I will put them in a bullet point list, with brief explanations. In the future, I will expound on each of these areas. Remember, this is the briefest of descriptions for each category, but it might be a good overview.  Here is the list:

• Encourager
• Accountability Person
• Giver of Objective Feedback
• Resource Provider
• Tool Provider/Teacher
• Safe Space
• Diagnostician
• Teacher

Today I start with the first three categories, and I will continue down the list in coming days. Hope you find this helpful.

Encourager– Typically, people who come to counseling need a sense of hope that things can and will get better for them. Our job as counselor is to give honest encouragement, not false hope. But we do start with the premise that there is a solution for every problem, and that the client has the capacity to be successful in the counseling process.

Accountability Person– I almost always give homework to clients, knowing that the real work will be done outside of our one-hour session. I will ask the client about their progress in having done the homework. I will ask what barriers they had if it were not completed, and encourage them to give me feedback about the success of the homework to see if we need to make some changes. Often too, clients set forth their own disciplines that they want me to hold them accountable for by asking them each session what their progress is.

Giver of Objective Feedback– Clients come to counselors wanting some help with life areas which may currently be a struggle. It is my job to speak truth (what I see as the truth) of the situation in a loving and kind manner, even if that truth may be hard to hear. It follows the Biblical principle of “speaking the truth in love”. Friends may or may not give such feedback, but counselors are free to simply give an honest assessment without risk of losing relationship.  

Prayer: Lord, we thank you for the opportunity and privilege to engage with others on their life journey, Amen

 It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon,  for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.   Luke 23:44-46

 

Today is Good Friday. This day did, and does, hold great meaning and significance to Christians around the world.

I grew up on the West Side of Cincinnati, a strong German-Catholic community. Good Friday, in the 50’s and early sixties as I recall, was a day revered and remembered with great solemnity. Many people made a pilgrimage up a long, steep series of steps to Immaculata Church in Mt. Adams. We called it “Making the Steps”.

Stores and bars shut down from noon until 3 PM, with my dad’s bakery in Clifton Heights being one of those businesses that made such observance. Churches were filled with worshipers solemnly reciting prayers, the Station of the Cross were once again reenacted, and statues were draped in purple cloth, awaiting the glorious Easter sunrise service (or midnight Mass) when they would be ceremoniously uncovered- symbolic of the resurrection of Jesus.

These rituals made a great impression on my young mind. Such a day Good Friday was! These practices were a binding cultural event, and very impactful and meaningful. They impressed upon generations of worshipers the power and significance of the sacrifice that Jesus made that day- to save us from our sins.

While the religious practices of those days no longer seem to have the cultural impact that they once did, the message has never changed. There cannot be love without sacrifice. That principle holds true in every relationship, and in every action we do as human beings. There is a high cost of love. Today, as we remember what Jesus did for humankind, think of the reason that He paid that price. He loved us to death.

Prayer: Thank you Father for sending your son to redeem us when we were lost. Thank you for the gift of love which you showed and continue to show, Amen.

Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.  

John 13:14

Today is Holy Thursday. It has also been called Maundy Thursday, taken from the Latin word Mandatum, and shortened to “Maundy”. Mandatum is the Latin word from which we get the word “mandate” in English- that which is commanded.

It was of course at the Last Supper – the celebration of the Hebrew Seder meal- that Jesus commanded his disciples to carry on and remember to share bread together in remembrance of his body being broken as a sacrifice for people. The Passover meal is rich in symbolism of a people being redeemed by a special and miraculous work of God.

He also washed the feet of the disciples, something that Peter rebelled against, until he realized that taking on the role of servant to one another, even in the most menial of ways, is the way that Jesus followers should act.

Your church may have special services on this day to commemorate this Maundy Thursday. But whether or not you have such a service, this is a good day to remember that Jesus became the suffering servant as a model for us to follow.

Prayer: Lord, help us to remember that following Jesus is an act of serving others, Amen