And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free                                                                                         John 8:32 (KJV)

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves…”                                Viktor E. Frankl

I talked yesterday about the spiritual element in our human nature which gives meaning to our life. As I discussed, all spheres of the human experience ideally should be addressed when we are in counseling. I also understand, and completely agree, that the client will direct where they want to go in the counseling process. The client, in coordination with the counselor, sets the goals of treatment. My job as counselor is to help guide that path, honoring the destination that the client wants.

A few years ago, I had a client who told me right from the start that she wanted no part of a spiritual discussion in counseling, after I had discussed my general theoretical approach. Of course, I honored that request, and we proceeded several sessions, discussing her depression, and some of the lifestyle choices that she shared that were her attempts at finding some joy and pleasure in her depressed state of mind.  

One time, early in a subsequent session she said that she felt that something was missing in her life, and she could not get her hands on what it was. There was a void that she could not fill. I asked her about her earlier request to not bring spiritual values into the counseling. I told her that I wanted to continue to honor her request, but without at least exploring that part of her life, we may not make the progress she would want.

The client agreed to the idea of discussing her spiritual values and beliefs, and how that influenced her life and decisions. Our discussions became deeper and more thoughtful. She opened up about some very difficult past experiences with religion that had wounded her. The counseling took a better turn, and opened up for the client some resources that she said she wanted to consider more fully.

I bring this up to demonstrate that without a holistic approach, paying attention to our inner being and our behavioral responses to that, progress is usually hindered. Indeed, I am not saying by any means that clients must adopt my belief system. I do think that it is necessary for people to be completely honest with themselves about what they do believe, or do not believe, and that such truth will set them free. Then the choices that we make can be with our full ownership and acceptance of the consequences.

Prayer: Thank you for the meaning you set in our soul and life, Amen

“In some ways, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”                                                                                                                                                                  Viktor E. Frankl

The empty-headed treat life as a plaything; the perceptive grasp its meaning and make a go of it.

Proverbs 15:21 (The Message)

I have stated many times that my view of counseling involves a holistic approach. This means that I try to pay attention to, and incorporate, all the levels of human experience- physical, spiritual, and mental/emotional. Each area affects the other because we are integrated beings. When we are physically sick, it affects our mental outlook, and, of course if we are mentally or emotionally challenged, it affects our physical health, namely sleep, appetite and other necessary bodily functions.

Less discussed is the effect of spiritual distress, which as a society, we typically pay less attention to. Some in society may see spiritual health as a “nice add-on” if one has time to pay attention to it. Yet, spiritual health is critical to overall function. It gives us meaning.

Viktor Frankl wrote a great deal about this in his works. As a holocaust survivor, he came to develop an entire field of therapy called Logotherapy. He recognized that the life force that kept he and many of his fellow survivors alive was the understanding of a larger view than just physical survival. If your spirit dies, you die. Frankl saw this time and again in the concentration camps he was in.

I will be talking more about this in the next blogs.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the gift of life and meaning in it, Amen

Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee.  As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”                                                                                                                Luke 17:11-13

I wrote yesterday in this space that Jesus healed those suffering ten lepers “along the way” as he sent them out. Just some additional thoughts on that.

Those ten lepers were a mix of Samaritans and Jews. Now we know that Samaritans and Jews hated one another and had serious religious and cultural differences that separated them. Yet, their common plight of leprosy seemed to level the playing field. Suffering can do that. Things that once seemed important, pale in comparison to a devastating event which somehow levels the ground we hold. Suffering can be a common crisis that over-arches mere religious, class, economic status, and cultural differences.

 In the end, human beings suffer, and they need one another intensely at those times. Stuff like race and religion take a back seat to the need for common understanding and compassion for our brothers and sisters. So, these Jews and Samaritans traveled together, the common bond being the outcast status that leprosy handed them.

Jesus was not a discerner of race, religion, gender or status. He came to heal all who asked for his hand of healing.  Sad that it takes cataclysmic events for people to determine that artificial distinctions between human beings need not get in the way of our common need for one another, regardless of superficial differences.

Prayer: Lord, help us always keep in mind that we hold in common, as a human race, our need for you, Amen

And I will come down and have talk with you there: and I will take some of the spirit which is on you and put it on them, and they will take part of the weight of the people off you, so that you do not have to take it by yourself                                                                                                                                              Numbers 11:17 (Bible in Basic English)

Empty nights echo your name
Whoa, sometimes I wonder
Will I ever be the same?

The Four Tops (Baby I Need Your Lovin’)

 Will we ever be the same again? You know, COVID-19 has changed our lives, and I think that they are changed forever. Not all change is bad, of course, and some of the things we have learned in the pandemic will actually help us in the future.

For example, we have learned that many meetings can be done quite efficiently on a virtual platform. Working from home will actually lower costs of some businesses and services. Hopefully we also have learned the value of better health practices, including mask wearing and hand washing/sanitizing. Because of these practices, I believe, as well as the high level of social distancing practiced, the seasonal flu this year was practically non-existent. Better attention to such hygienic practices really does work.

But the cost of these benefits was terribly high. The level of isolation, alienation, the limited options for fellowship and gathering, all extracted a heavy price on our mental and emotional health. And that is not to mention the educational losses that our children sustained. Maybe we will never know the true cost of this pandemic in those regards.

I do telehealth in my counseling practice, and that has certainly been a major blessing. New Creation Counseling Center administration cannot be praised enough for the quick and efficient transition to telehealth for the safety of all involved. However, telehealth has its limits too. I am not able to actually be in the same room with my clients, and there are certain cues and non-verbal behaviors that are simply missed.

It is ironic that one of the signal symptoms of COVID-19 is loss of smell and taste. One of the senses taken away in telecounseling is the sense of smell. The other sense taken away in telehealth is that of touch. Granted, these sensory losses are not always critical to counseling. However, it makes the experience just a bit more sterile. I find myself concentrating so much more on that screen to look for eye contact and eye movement, blushes, sighs, etc. that it can be a bit more exhausting than in-person sessions. In-person sessions allow a much richer contact.

So, we accept that there is a new landscape present. Perhaps another good thing we re-learned is that human presence and contact is so essential for mental health and stability.

In short, it reminds us again -we need each other.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us to rely upon one another, help us to do that in new and helpful ways, Amen

Don’t let anyone think little of you because you are young. Be their ideal; let them follow the way you teach and live; be a pattern for them in your love, your faith, and your clean thoughts.                                         I Timothy 4:12 (Living Bible)

Relay races are exciting events. In a relay race, there are usually four runners on a team, each one designated to run a “leg” of the race. It takes speed, skill and amazing teamwork to put together a relay team.

The crucial part of winning a relay race, other than speed, is the deftness and agility in handing off the baton. In order to do this, the runner with the baton must time his/her steps, without losing any ground, to slow down just enough so that the baton can be passed to the teammate running up behind them. Precious seconds can be lost if the hand-off is not near perfect. Dropping the baton means that the race is lost.

The analogy with leadership is much the same. One generation of leaders must learn how to efficiently and skillfully pass on the baton of leadership. That means that the baton holder must know when the time has come to hand off the baton. Doing so too quickly or too slowly can mean serious problems for an organization. Knowing how to slow down just enough to get the successor ready is crucial. Then, when the baton has been passed, the former holder must peel off and make way for the teammate who will now carry on.

We older leaders have, or are in the process of, handing off the baton. Our job is to make sure that we have done our part, and only then can we, (and we must), depart from the track.

There is an old saying that the Church is one generation away from extinction. We are to carry the baton of our faith and successfully hand it off to the next generation so that the Kingdom can continue and prosper.  

Prayer: Lord, give us the wisdom and grace to hand off the baton well for future leaders, Amen

In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps                                Proverbs 16:19

I’m not sure what made me think of this today, but maybe it is the fact that I am sitting outside, feeling a warm breeze as I am at the computer. It brings me back perhaps 60 years to another day just like it.

I was sitting under a tree across the street from my house on Mayfair Ave. in Cincinnati. Our gang of friends was gathered, because that morning had been the last day of school. It was an early June morning, and we had just come home from St. Martin School. We were very excited to be out of school, and this was the official beginning of summer vacation in the neighborhood. We had all summer to ourselves, free to do whatever we wanted! That oppressive school year had just ended, and the nuns no longer controlled us until the day after Labor Day some 3 months hence. What a joy!

We pondered what to do. Should we play war? Always a good option for the guys. Should we plan another neighborhood show to fund raise for Muscular Dystrophy? We had done that last summer to dismal financial success, but we sure had a grand time putting on a show with our chemistry sets for the neighbors. Should we ride bikes? Maybe strap on the roller skates?

After just a little deliberation, we all decided on what would be really fun. We would play school. Yes, just hours after leaving the “jailhouse” of school, we would play school! Why did we think that this would be a good idea? Because WE were in charge of the school. We made up the rules. We decided how things would be in our little schoolhouse.

I think there is a lesson here (OK, pardon the pun). When we are in charge of things, we are fine with it. However, if we need to submit to the authority of others, the venture loses something. We are not in control anymore.

Human nature at work. I am much more apt to do something if it is my idea, and under my control, rather than something that might be imposed upon me. Just an interesting observation about us. Funny how we like things our way right?

Prayer: Lord, you give us free will, and I think you have joy in giving that to us. Help us to use it wisely, Amen

We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God’s original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment. And when it comes to the church, he organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body. Colossians 1:15-17 (The Message)

 I was speaking recently to a client about energy. He is depressed and grieving, and he is having trouble coming up with the energy to do what will be most helpful for him. We need to supply energy into a behavior, like exercise, in order to accomplish the goals we want. When we are depressed, there seems to be very little energy available. There are, I think both physical and emotional reasons for this. However, somehow, we need to find a way to manufacture energy to do things, especially when we lack motivation to do them. At that point, it is sheer discipline to do the things that are good for us, regardless of whether we are motivated to do it or not.

In thinking a little further, I see that all energy in the universe comes from the hand of God. He is the creator and sustainer of life- even those wild sub-atomic particles which make up matter- those things that I do not really understand.

So much of life is in the invisible realm. Coming up with the energy to do anything comes from a place of the invisible. We cannot see God, but we see his creation. We cannot see the cellular interactions in our body that give energy, but we rely on them for every movement we make.

So, it takes faith to move ahead, even when we do not want to. Faith that as we move, we will actually gain some momentum to move a little farther.

Prayer: Lord, your creation is marvelous, and your best work is invisible. Help us to make your presence more visible to others, Amen

Give us today our daily bread…                                                                                                             Matthew 6:11 (NIV)

Day by day
Day by day
Oh Dear Lord
Three things I pray
To see thee more clearly
Love thee more dearly
Follow thee more nearly
Day by day

Lyrics from “Day by Day” (Godspell)

When it comes to eating, we like to plan menus, think ahead, stock up the pantry and fridge, etc. During the pandemic, we learned to store up food (and, of course, toilet paper), and we got into a “store-it-up” mentality. That is a natural response for modern times.

Back in the time of Jesus, people had to make sure that they got their food for that day each and every day. Very little food would keep fresh, and refrigeration and more modern preservation methods were not available.  They counted on going to the local market to buy bread, fresh- caught fish, and perhaps, occasionally, freshly slaughtered meat. They literally were “day-to-day” in finding their daily bread.

The Israelites in the desert too were dependent on daily sustenance from God in the form of manna. God provided for them with a fresh coating of manna daily, which could not be stored up except for the day before Sabbath when they could gather two days-worth of manna.

Why was this the plan? God wanted the wandering tribe, the people of his name, to count on him day by day. He said he would provide for them, and he wanted them to see that, but more importantly, he wanted them to learn to trust him to do it. That gathering of extra manna, when not gathered the day before the Sabbath, would rot and become loathsome to eat. The point was, they were not to count on their own cleverness when God had told them to simply trust him.

Trusting God day by day is hard to do. The daily discipline of reliance is a hard-earned habit.

Prayer: Lord, you have asked us to trust you day by day. Your provision is always there when we look for it, Amen

“Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”                                                                                                                                                          Jeremiah 29:7

This passage from the book of Jeremiah has always intrigued me. The context is that God is speaking to and through the prophet Jeremiah, who is crushed in spirit about being carried away from his beloved Jerusalem. Jeremiah and the captive Israelites were lamenting that they were no longer in the Promised Land, and that they were now cut off from their destiny.

God gives Jeremiah a new plan. Really, I am thinking it was the plan all along. Jeremiah was to tell the captive Israelites that they were to plant gardens in Babylon. They were to marry and have children. They were to participate in the economy of this pagan Babylon and to help make it prosper. I’m sure that this was hard for Jeremiah to hear, and then to relate to his people, about participating in the hated Babylonian society and economy.

I think that message was also for the Church today. It was a cornerstone of my philosophy at New Creation Counseling Center. Christian organizations ought to be an integral part of society, helping in every way possible to enhance the physical, social, economic and spiritual health of where we are planted.

The history of the Church involvement through the centuries has been to start schools, hospitals, and benevolent organizations to help people in every walk of life- especially carrying out the mission Jesus set forth to help the poor and disenfranchised.

So, we grow where we are planted, and as our city prospers, so do we.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for this simple plan- to grow where we are planted, Amen

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”                                                                                                                                                                                 Psalm 46:10

Sitting here on my patio enjoying this beautiful day, I prepare to write my blog. I am struck by a thought. We seem to need to be intentional about staying in the present moment. You know, just experiencing what is happening right now- what I am seeing and hearing? What are my thoughts?

Without that intentional idea of concentrating on right now, it is so easy to drift into the past or the future. So often, I see that we live much of our life in the past, rehashing regrets or memories. At the same time, we may be living in the future, worried about possible problems or upcoming events. While it is certainly appropriate, and important, to consider both our past and our future, maybe we need to slow down and just consider, “where am I spending the majority of my time?”

If too much time is spent on past failures or regrets, that can cause depression. If too much time is spent on anticipation of the future, it may cause anxiety as we come up with problems that may never happen.

As my old friend Pastor Michael Bowie used to say about staying in the present, “The present is a gift, that’s why they call it the present!”

Prayer: Lord, help us to slow down and enjoy this very moment, Amen.