“After all is said and done, more is said than done…”
–Attributed to many sources
Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! II Corinthians 5:17
The new year is just days away, and we will soon welcome 2021. Perhaps that welcome of a new year will be more heartfelt this year, given the track record of 2020. We are hoping and trusting that 2021 will bring a slow end to COVID-19 as the vaccines begin to become more available. We are hoping that 2021 will bring a release for the pent-up economic demands, and the heartfelt desires to see people face-to-face once again without the strange limits we now face.
The start of the New Year also brings resolutions for changed behaviors of some kind. Typically, people decide to lose weight, exercise more, drink less, become more disciplined, etc. These are fine goals, and well-intentioned.
There is an old saying, “When all is said and done, more is said than done”. We are more prone talk action than take action. As we prepare for 2021 “resolutions”, may I suggest what I say to my clients- make your goals small, achievable measurable, and practical. Don’t get caught up in idealistic goals that will not be attained. Shoot for small, but meaningful changes.
Also, as you consider goals for 2021, consider making small goals for each of the levels we exist in- physical, spiritual, mental/emotional. I will talk more about this as we close out this “remarkable” (nicest word I can rightly use) 2020!
Prayer: Father, we are grateful for every day that you grant to us. Help us to redeem each day to your purpose and glory, Amen.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matthew 5:16 (KJV)
“Even the smallest light shines bright in the darkness” Donna Raye
Have you ever been in a cave? You know, like those tours in Mammoth Cave or some other spacious cave? If you have, you know how dark it is when the guide turns out the lights. Yes, it is almost painfully dark. You literally cannot see your hand three inches from your face. That dark. Then the guide lights a match some distance away, and it looks like a laser beam.
So, think about what it is like when you are in an emotional darkness. You feel that there will never be light again. You cannot remember what it is like to see or even feel the light again. Then comes a little note, or call, or card. Someone just sent a little thoughtful connection. Not a big deal in anyone’s thinking, but that day, that moment, it was as bright as a star.
You see, when it is REALLY dark, a little light shines inordinately bright. In comparison to the present environment, it becomes a huge event. Small by some standards, it is a ray of hope.
I spoke with a client recently who said that the little card and gift that she received from her church during the Christmas season, “made my week”.
So, don’t try to judge or minimize the effect of a small gesture. It really could be the brightest spot a person gets all week.
Prayer: Lord, help us to really see the little lights you send to us from others, Amen
Lots of people who are “in the trenches” every day serving others in a selfless manner, do not see themselves as heroes. Those doctors, nurses, police officers, paramedics, emergency room staff, and other first responders (and many others) will tell you that they are simply doing their jobs. And they are. The thing is, they have chosen heroic careers, even if they do not see themselves as heroes.
As this COVID-19 pandemic reaches into 2021, we are looking at over 9 months of battle with an invisible enemy. Yes, we all fight the fight. Most of us are defensive fighters- we mask up, social distance, sacrifice gathering with friends and family, etc. We are trying to cut down the overrunning of hospital capacity by our prudent behavior.
Others are on the offensive, running toward the battle. They see people falling and they run to help. Yes, that is their chosen profession. I contend that those people on the front lines are heroes, no matter whether they agree with that assessment or not.
I could not be prouder of my own children in this battle. My daughter, a physician who encounters patients at their most vulnerable times, has had to spend time away from her own family, at times, when she thought that she might be exposing them to a possible virus danger. My son, a police officer, typically makes the first contact with dangerous situations, no matter whether he knows if there is COVID-19 present or not. He does not have the luxury to ask.
Many, many front-line workers do the same, and they have done so for nearly a year without much respite. This story is repeated daily throughout this country, and indeed the whole world. I simply ask that we pray for these heroes, and thank them whenever we can.
OK, we will not call you heroes. We will just say, “Thanks for your service, and we love you”
Prayer: Lord, please protect those who protect us, Amen.
Not only this, but we also rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance, character, and character, hope. Romans 5:3-4 (NEV)
Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith. I don’t agree at all. They are afflictions, not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the Passion of Christ
C.S. Lewis
I like this quote from C.S. Lewis. Lewis was a deep thinker, and a theology writer of renown. He was also a man who suffered, and he wrote about his struggles in order to help others who also were suffering at various times. Yes, suffering is universal, a great equalizer if you will.
In this quote, Lewis is speaking to people who have anxiety. As I tell my clients, everybody has some level of anxiety. On the “continuum of anxiety” some score much higher than others, but all of us have our struggles with it. However, people who have a higher-level anxiety, more than your usual situational worries, have a very difficult “battle of the mind” every day.
Anxiety is like that self-destructive little voice that always reminds us what can go wrong, why we are especially unworthy, and why destruction is just around the corner. People with anxiety disorder live deep in the weeds of self agony about what can and likely will go wrong. It can be crippling unless help is sought.
C.S. Lewis in this quote tries to give some comfort. He says that people with high anxiety do not have a defect of lack of faith, they have an affliction. That affliction, he says, can be reframed into a shared suffering of a glimpse of what Jesus suffered- the Jesus who understands suffering and understands us. He is on our side.
Thank you, C.S. Lewis for that deep and comforting thought.
Prayer: Help us Lord to see you in the midst of anxiety and suffering, knowing that your grace abounds, Amen
For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given… Isaiah 9:6 (KJV)
A Note to My Readers:
Thank you for your faithful encouragement and feedback to these Reflections of a Counselor for the past 9 months. It has been a source of joy and nourishment to my soul to be able to write this blog. Indeed, I began it as a daily blog when the pandemic was starting to rage (April 1, 2020), and I just kept it up. The discipline of writing it has been good for me, and, I hope, beneficial to you.
I have periodically been posting chapters of my novel, Joseph Shepherd, and I hope that the rhythm of posting has been acceptable for those who follow it. If not, let me know, and I will arrange accordingly.
Finally, if you want to go back and find any past posts, you may have noticed that I added an archive button at www.reflectionsofacounselor.com. You can seek past posts, or perhaps ones you have missed, listed by month.
So, I simply want to end with a heartfelt Merry Christmas to all. May God bless you and keep you healthy on this journey!
The Elizabeth was now heading northwest, having long passed the straits of Gibraltar, under full sail and perfect weather. She was making excellent time, about seven knots. At this rate, the Elizabeth would be on course to reach Plymouth about three days after the Intrepid. Both ships were headed there, but for very different reasons.
Mr. North was hoping to reach port quickly to repair and re-provision the Intrepid. Given his triumphs over the pirates, he believed that he would retain command over the Intrepid. Captain Braden, poor devil, was probably dead by now. North’s crew would be loyal to him after having seen him in action. North believed that he could come back after those pirates with a repaired fighting ship, and he would surely bring glory to himself, and prizes to his men. He cared very little for England’s interests, but if he prospered, he didn’t care if it helped the English cause in Europe either. That would be nice for England, but that was not his highest concern.
Captain Carr was interested in bringing his cargo home safely. The faster he got his ship home, the faster he was paid. He also did not relish the thought of having to fight his way past the Spanish coast. He had planned to alter his course slightly west to avoid the Spanish coast after having heard of the presence of pirates. He also was considering the possibilities of finding the Intrepid. What would one find if he happened to encounter that ship? The crew of the Intrepid had set their captain adrift. It could have been for fear of the plague, or perhaps the crew had simply mutinied and had set the captain adrift rather than kill him. Maybe they didn’t even know he had a disease, or maybe he developed it after he was adrift. Maybe he didn’t even have the plague.
Carr pondered these thoughts as evening slowly exchanged places with the setting sun. The Elizabeth was now heading due west into the setting sun, taking advantage of a change in winds. The beauty of it was startling on this evening. Orange and purple hues enveloped wisps of clouds. This evening would be calm and pleasant.
“Better enjoy it now,” thought Carr, “for next week may bring trouble.”
“Captain Carr!” hailed William Harvey, “I have some good news.”
Carr turned and inquired of Harvey his good fortune.
“I am confident that Captain Braden is fully recovered of his illness. Based upon such recovery, I rather doubt he had the plague. He probably had some other illness which mimicked the plague,” Harvey concluded.
“That is good news!” responded Carr. “I trust that Captain Braden can join me tomorrow at the helm to discuss our voyage home. He may be of help in navigating by the pirates he spoke of.”
Harvey agreed. “Yes, I think he would be most happy to join you. He probably wants to get back to sailing as soon as possible.”
On the Intrepid, Dr. Shepherd was asking if we could check the rest of the crew for signs of plague.
“Dr. Shepherd,” I countered, “I think the ones with symptoms will be coming to us if it still persists on this ship.”
“Perhaps you are right, Dr. Greene,” said Shepherd. “I suppose that if there is no more sickness on board, we may be of no further use to Mr. North. I also believe that if we are of no further use, we too shall be set adrift…or worse.”
I had to agree with Shepherd on this point, painful as it was to face. We would be a liability to North’s story about Captain Braden. The crew was solidly behind North, if for no other reason than that they feared him. Truth was, many of the crew actually were willing to follow his leadership. Wherever North was, action would follow. Many of this crew wanted just that – action of any type. While there were several veterans, many were very young, sixteen and seventeen years old, some of them. Adventure was getting into their blood, and a few more battles would seal them forever as fighting sailors who would need that fighting to feel alive. North could provide that for them, because that was who he was, and that was all he knew.
“What do you suggest?” I asked Shepherd.
“I suggest that we pray,” Shepherd said calmly. I was not a praying man, and I thought that we should do something a bit more helpful, hatch some plan to escape perhaps.
“Pray?” I repeated. “You go right ahead, Mr. Shepherd, you pray. I will try to find a sailor or two who might be inclined to help us,” I said sarcastically.
“Then that is what I shall pray for,” said Shepherd, “a sailor or two who might help us.”
With that he smiled and turned over in his straw bed.
“Imagine that,” I thought. “Sailors on this ship who will want to help Shepherd and me!” I laughed at the thought. Joseph Shepherd was still thought to be a Jonah, maybe even a madman. His unusual ideas, his calm in the face of storms, his confidence that was seen as arrogance – none of those attributes had won him a friend – except for me. I was his friend. I had come to respect his intellect and medical knowledge. It was beyond me, and I knew it. His willingness to help those who had tried to harm him was truly an amazing thing. Yes, I liked this man, but I could not imagine anyone else on this ship who might do anything to help him. Actually, my own insolence toward this uneducated, superstitious group of bounders and thieves had not won me many friends among them either. Up until this very moment, I had not really cared. Now, my life could be in this group’s hands. Yes, Dr. Shepherd, may God help us!
But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting Micah 5:2 (KJV)
One of the strangest and most heartwarming events of war is the story of the 1914 Christmas Eve truce. That December 24th night, British and German troops somehow suspended the killing and terror of war, and celebrated for hours together in the “no man’s land” area. Even the death and destruction of modern war that night succumbed to the human need for a little time of peace.
The First World War was unprecedented in its tools of bringing mechanized death. Machine guns, artillery, land mines, and airplanes were new ways of bringing mass death to the combatants. It was so ugly, so demoralizing, so hopeless, that there needed to be a way to bring some hope and cheer into the mind-numbing terror of total war. So that Christmas Eve night, peace broke out in time of war. Soldiers found a common theme of celebrating the miracle of Christmas to bring just a moment of relief to horror.
This Christmas Eve, 2020, we are not in a general hot war fought with guns and artillery. We are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic that has become, in America, a leading cause of death at the present time. We too need a little peace, and a respite from the anguish of the past year.
Little Bethlehem, the afterthought of Jewish villages, brought forth the birth of a Savior who is the hope of the world. Despite the present painful circumstances, “the hope and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.” Our hope is in that deliverer, Jesus, and we welcome the remembrance of his presence once again.
Prayer: Thank you Father for the gift of the Prince of Peace as we celebrate this special birthday, Amen.
Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, Saying, “Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east, and are come to worship him.” Matthew 2:1 (KJV)
In recent days we have been directed to look at the uncommon confluence of the planets Jupiter and Saturn. While they appear close every 20 years or so, this year they come as close together as they have been since 1623. It is quite a phenomenon. I don’t know if these planets came together like this some 2000 year ago forming the “Christmas Star”- the one that led the Wise Men seeking Jesus to his location. Actually, I doubt it. However, this year, a celestial occurrence is welcome, no matter what.
The point is, there was a star of some kind that heralded the birth of Jesus. That light in the sky announced the birth of the “Light of the World”. Life cannot happen without light. We are reminded that light breaks the power of darkness. The light of truth breaks the darkness of lies.
I am so glad that we have been treated to the movements of Jupiter and Saturn this year. The stars and planets move in their patterns, and once in a while, they can give needed meaning to us on earth when we need to see a special light.
Prayer: Thank you Father for the light you provide to us, from the heavens, when we are so in need of that light, Amen
And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed.
(And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.)
And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city.
And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:)
To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.
And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered.
And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.
And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.
And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:1-11 (KJV)
Every Christmas, I usually insist that at some point, this passage from Luke, in the quaint, familiar language of the King James Version, be read out loud. It is the “Christmas story” in the most traditional form, and it has not lost its appeal in the centuries since it was translated in this way.
We have many traditional Christmas carols that hold dear memories as well, and they are heartwarming also. Many of those carols depict a scene that is more warming than accurate- you know, the ones about bitter cold and snow, but those songs too are comforting.
One song that never fails to touch me is this one. I print the words below for your Christmas edification. The version by Pentatonix is especially powerful. Their video version can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifCWN5pJGIE
Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would one day walk on water? Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would save our sons and daughters? Did you know that your baby boy Has come to make you new?
This child that you delivered, will soon deliver you Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would give sight to a blind man? Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would calm the storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy Has walked where angels trod? When you kiss your little baby You kiss the face of God Mary, did you know? Mary, did you know?
Mary, did you know? Did you know? Mary, did you know? Mary, did you know? Mary, did you know? Mary, did you know? Mary, did you know? Mary, did you know?
The blind will see, the deaf will hear The dead will live again The lame will leap, the dumb will speak The praises of the Lamb Mary, did you know that your baby boy
Is Lord of all creation? Mary, did you know that your baby boy Would one day rule the nations? Did you know that your baby boy Is heaven’s perfect Lamb?
That sleeping child you’re Holding is the great, I Am Mary, did you know? (Mary, did you know?) Mary, did you know? (Mary, did you know?) Mary, did you know? Oh
If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he asks a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?
Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him? Luke 11:11-13 (KJV)
The Christmas season makes us think about giving gifts to those we love. I suppose that one may need to experience parenthood to understand the depth of the desire to give good gifts to our children. How many parents in the Christmas season make a sacrifice of some kind so that their child or children can get good gifts? Indeed, as we grow older, the joy of giving gifts far exceeds that of receiving gifts.
I remember when I was about thirteen years old and had actually made my own money from a paper route. I was so excited that Christmas to actually be able to give gifts that I had bought with my own money (and yes, some borrowed from my older sister). “Mom will sure like that pen I bought her that has (the recently slain) President Kennedy’s picture on it!”; “Dad will really like this cool glass ashtray!” I was able to experience the joy of giving then, but that has been far outstripped by the joy of seeing my kids (and now grandkids) open presents that we buy for them.
Jesus knew this when he told the story about gifts he wants to give to us. He knew that we want the very best for our children, and that we would never give then anything that could cause them hurt or pain.
So, remember this Christmas season that our heavenly father sent us the best gift possible, and he enjoys seeing us receive the best gifts.
Prayer: Father, thank you for the gift of your son, which we celebrate this week, Amen.
Reflections of a Counselor 