He has given you Paul and Apollos and Peter as your helpers. He has given you the whole world to use, and life and even death are your servants. He has given you all of the present and all of the future. All are yours                                                                                                                                                            I Corinthians 3:22

I was speaking with a client the other day about some of her future fears, specifically a fear of chronic pain like her father endures. She too has some chronic pain, related to joint conditions which are possibly hereditary. She worries about this because she has chronic anxiety. This, of course, is not uncommon, but it should also not be discounted. People with chronic anxiety suffer. If they could simply stop worrying, they would!

 We discussed her fears, and I suggested that she work on behaving her way out of the anxiety, not trying to think her way out. What did I mean by that? I meant that there are certain actions she could take that might help to head off her dread of the possible future she faced.

Rather than simply filling her mind with fears of the future, she could take some present actions that could head off that fear. Note that I was suggesting that she act in the present time, the time she has currently available, rather than the future which she cannot control.

We talked about the exercise of swimming, which is gentle on the joints, but is vigorous in aerobic conditioning. The vigorous exercise she gets, which is also gentle on her joints, will be beneficial to her both physically and emotionally. She can take present action to control a dreaded future.

Living in the present is the key to anxiety control. As they say in recovery work, that concept is simple, but enacting it is not always easy.

Prayer: Lord, you control our future. Help us to take actions in the present that can help that future, Amen

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”                                                                                                                                                                I Samuel 16:7

I was talking recently with a client who had concerns about her body image. Many young women (and men) suffer from the sometimes crippling societal expectation that one’s worth is tied to body image. This client is coming to see that she cannot meet the expectations of everyone else, and that she does not need to, in order to be the best “her”.

We discussed the value of working out, not for the sake of her body image, but for the sake of her health, both physically and emotionally. Her value is not in how she looks, but in her intrinsic worth. She is a woman of high character and values, but she has been rejected in relationships, and she is hurting from that.

We discussed the value of accepting first her own sense of worth before basing her worth on the acceptance by others. I reminded her that self-esteem is based upon keeping promises to ourselves first. When we can learn to trust ourselves, our self esteem rises. Then others can see a confident person whose worth is not dependent on the judgment of other people.

God’s view of us is not based upon our appearance, or even our performance. God loves us right where we are, even if we are not yet where we want to be.

So, remember the formula for self-esteem- keep those little promises to yourself. As we keep those little promises, good disciplines grow, and we gain confidence.

That is an attractive quality.     

Prayer: Lord, thank you for accepting us right where we are, Amen

That depends on who you ask!

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day                                                                                                       II Peter 3 :8

When we think about God’s “timing” as we sometimes call it, we are in way over our heads. Why is that you ask? Because our idea of time, and God’s idea of time are in completely different time zones (pardon the pun).

We humans operate in a finite, linear time zone. There is a past, a present, and a future. We have relative scales to understand time like clocks, watches, calendars, etc. If you are like me, you live by those calendars, and we do that so that we can feel a sense of control and order. Indeed, society needs to have such structures in order to prevent chaos and to have some level of predictability.

But God is timeless. He sees and lives in the past, the present, and the future all at the same time. He sees eternity past and eternity future, all in what we call the present.  We often talk about God’s timing in our life, and that we must have patience. But what we really need is trust.

God asks us to trust him, because he can see what we cannot see or comprehend. We cannot really conceptualize eternity because we are finite creatures who can only live in specific time dimensions as I described above.

So, when we are thinking of God’s timing, I think it is better to view that in terms of trust, rather than “waiting” for his timing in our life. We don’t know the time, but he does because he holds the future as well as the present and the past.

Prayer: You are Lord of the universe and of time itself. We are awed by your presence! Amen

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you                                                         Philippians 4:8-9

Hans Selye was an endocrinologist in the 1940’s who pioneered the work on the effects of stress on the body. He was among the first scientists to recognize the role of what we now call “stress” by naming it the general adaptation syndrome. He called it this because the body responds to stress by producing certain hormones, and eventually inflammation, that causes the body to react in very negative ways. In others words, stress can make us sick, and it can make sickness even worse.

Stress has always been a part of human life, but it plays out differently in our modern culture. We are surrounded by access to news of local and world problems to a degree never imagined in prior centuries. I have had many clients talk with me about personal problems such as marriage, job, financial problems, etc., but there is an added burden many say. They may not be able to put their finger on it exactly, but when asked about specific stressors, they may add something like, …”and you know, all the stuff going on in the world today…”

Yes, I know what they are saying – all the stuff going on in the world today. It is easy to get caught up in the bad news all around us. That can give us a negative attitude, whereby we start to expect that all the news is bad.

Some “vacations” from news might be helpful. Cut back on social media; just don’t turn on or surf for the national newscasts for a while; find an uplifting book and remind yourself of the positive things in your life.

We all know that the bad news will be there waiting when we return to viewing it, but maybe we should consume a little less of the stuff that, “you know, is going on in the world today.”  

Prayer: Lord, help us to remember all the good news that is around, and find comfort in your words, Amen

Dear friend, if you’ve gone into hock with your neighbor
    or locked yourself into a deal with a stranger,
If you’ve impulsively promised the shirt off your back
    and now find yourself shivering out in the cold,
Friend, don’t waste a minute, get yourself out of that mess.
    You’re in that man’s clutches!
    Go, put on a long face; act desperate.
Don’t procrastinate—
    there’s no time to lose.
Run like a deer from the hunter,
    fly like a bird from the trapper!

Proverbs 6:1-5 (The Message)

Do you ever procrastinate? Yeah, I do too. Some of us are better than others on this, and for most of us, it depends on what the activity is. Typically, the things we put off are the unpleasant tasks. Maybe they are the ones which we feel less confident about. Typically, also, the things that we put off or try to avoid, are the ones that will cost us something extra by putting them off. They get harder to do for several reasons.

One of those reasons is that the task gets bigger in our mind the more we delay it. We build it up beyond the actual difficulty of the task. Possibly, the longer we put it off, the more awkward the task becomes. A time delay may really work against us, especially, of course, if the task is time sensitive. Calling at the last minute, for example, to cancel a meeting, can cause more problems than that same phone call would have caused two days earlier.  

Whenever we put something off, we usually have to pay with interest. It seems it is like a universal rule of some kind. With bills, that may be literally true. With social capital, it works much the same way. We usually have to pay extra mentally, socially, or emotionally for that delay that we made. Those hard conversations that are put off can cause more pain by their delay. We would save ourselves some pain by what we could have done much earlier.

So, while the tendency may be to procrastinate, remember, it almost always has to be paid with interest.

Prayer: Lord, we avoid the hard things. Give us the courage and the nudge to act in a timely manner for our own good, Amen.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us                                                                                                                                                                                            Hebrews 12:1

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.                                             II Timothy 4:7

Since I am a baseball guy, I have this image of a baseball player, maybe an aging outfielder playing what may be his last game. He knows it, maybe others do too, maybe they don’t. But he is on the field on October 1, the last day of the long season. His team is hopelessly out of the playoffs, and have been for weeks. The game he is playing has no value for either team, both just playing out the string. It is late in the game, his team down by four runs in the eighth inning, and fans, the few that showed up, have mostly long abandoned this contest.

The pitcher winds up and delivers a ball that the batter sends screaming on an arcing line toward the outfield. Runners on first and second move with the hit as it appears to be well out of fielding reach. Our aging outfielder responds immediately, tracking the ball as it soars into the outfield gap, headed for extra bases. He does not give up on it. He tracks it toward the wall, leaps at the ball and makes contact with the ball and the wall at the same time. He crashes down, the ball in his glove. He manages to right himself, and throw the ball into the cut-off man who completes the double play on the stunned runner who had occupied first base.   

The game, that season, are essentially meaningless, and those around him have essentially given up on it. The fans had mostly left, and the game meant nothing in the standings, yet he poured himself out on the last play of his last game ever.

This is the scenario I think about when I think about effort- effort to the end. The aging fielder is doing his very best to the very end, no matter what others thought about the meaning of it. It meant everything to him.

That dear readers, is how I want to go out. How about you?

Prayer: Lord, help us to finish strong, doing the right thing for the right reasons, Amen.

Today is June 19^th. I always remembered it as my parents’ anniversary. If they were alive today, they would have been married 87 years. However, many people in the United States would remember June 19^th as Juneteenth. It was June 19^th, 1865 when African-American slaves in  Galveston, Texas first learned that they had been freed from slavery. Yes, the Emancipation Proclamation had been promulgated in 1863, but that monumental edict was not experienced in Texas until this particular date in Galveston. They celebrated that date, and it eventually became a day of remembrance of the freedom from oppression that came to light that day.

Interestingly, I too was unaware of the importance of this date until I was 22 years old, graduated from college, and working in the human services field. It was the summer of 1972 before I knew what Juneteenth was.   

I recently attended a gathering where Ruby Bridges spoke about her experience in the integration of a school in her hometown in Louisiana in 1960. You may, or may not know, that Ruby Bridges was the little girl depicted in a Norman Rockwell painting showing her flanked by U.S. Marshals walking into a previously all-White school.   

Her story is profound, in that she recognizes that racism is not the problem we face today, it is the problem of good versus evil. Good people must unite to combat the evils of racism. We recognize that hatred and rejection of “other” is the basic problem.

So, as we recognize Juneteenth, let’s remember that we wrestle with evil in this world, and racism is just one of those evils that divides us.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.                                                                        Matthew 5:9

In his sermon on the mount, Jesus spoke about what later came to be called the “Beatitudes”. One of those beatitudes was the one mentioned above- peacemakers. Jesus obviously valued peace, stating that the peacemakers were to be called “sons of God”- indeed, a high calling.

I think we are all called to be peacemakers, wherever we are. Think about situations where you have a choice to escalate a tense situation with an opinion, or to deescalate the situation by remaining silent. Or, you see an injustice happening, and you have the opportunity to take up the cause of someone being oppressed.

In my role as a counselor, I have the responsibility to evaluate situations, and try to bring healing and peace, as best I can into the situation. That does not mean that I cannot call out behaviors which are destructive or harmful. On the contrary, I am compelled to speak truth into situations as I see it. Yet, how does one bring peace into situations where there is strife and conflict?

Recently, I was on a phone call where there was much pain and anger, and indeed, some yelling and raised voices. My job was to deescalate the emotional overload, and be the voice of reason since I could be objective. My role was to try to restore a sense of calm as best I could. I found myself speaking very slowly and deliberately. I tried to listen empathically since it was clear that the person on the phone was in a great deal of pain at the moment. I asked that the person just give himself some space for a while, making sure that he was going to be safe.

I continued to speak slowly and calmly, trying to model the sense of calm that the caller desperately needed. I knew that time could give this person the needed space to regain his own sense of peace. Until then, he needed me to have a sense of peace and hope that he currently could not get to- understandable in his current situation.

I mention this because at times, we all can and do play the role of peacemaker. We can only do that if we ourselves have a sense of peace that God is in control. Whatever the situation, there is a solution. Our job is to be present, physically or emotionally, until that peace that passes all understanding can be felt by those whom we are trying to comfort.

Above all, the thing we all need is peace, the peace that comes from God.

Prayer: Father, thank you for calling us to be peacemakers. Give us the strength and opportunity to be your ambassadors of peace, Amen.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.                                                                                                         Matthew 5:8

So, what does it mean to be “pure in heart”? It does not mean a “perfect heart”- that is not possible. It does mean that we have looked into our heart and we have seen it for what it is. It is selfish and pleasure seeking, if left to its own devices. Our job is to cut down on how often it is “left to its own devices”. In other words, we are to be stewards of an inherently selfish nature.

In the book of Jeremiah, the prophet asserts “The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be. Jeremiah 17:9-10

We are clear that we are not perfect in heart, but we can be pure of heart. We can do that by agreeing with God on it. He knows our frailties, and he detests the practice of trying to cover it up, pretending we are something that we are not.

The counseling principle of ownership of our innermost being frees us to become who we are truly meant to be. Truth in agreeing that we are sinners in need of a Savior is the step of freedom and change. It is the “moment of clarity” for those in addiction who now see the need for help in overcoming the addiction. It is the moment of salvation for those who see that they cannot solve the sin problem alone.

I have been writing about the relationship of faith and science. Science can explain and solve many world problems. It cannot solve the sin problem. That is the work for faith.

Prayer: Thank you Father for the solution to our heart problems, your son, Jesus, Amen

Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.                                                           Ephesians 5:2

One of the concepts that I talk with my counseling couples about is sacrificial love. The concept is not new to them, but often they need to be reminded that there cannot be love without sacrifice. Love costs something. In order for a relationship to thrive, there needs to be sacrifice.

Jesus was the great example of this. His love for mankind cost something- the sacrifice of his life. So, there are no shortcuts to loving relationships. Parents well know that it costs a lot to raise kids. Not just the financial costs, but the emotional investment.  We make ourselves emotionally vulnerable when we love others because we know that we cannot possess them, and someday, we will lose them. We launch them to the place they need to be to become independent and successful. We invest our time, money, energy, and emotions into the well-being of someone(s) outside of ourselves.

What higher level can humans reach than to pour themselves out for the benefit of others? God gave us the example, and when we follow that, we can live at our highest level.

So, the idea of sacrifice for those we love is obvious, yet we fall back to our selfish nature of wanting what we want when we want it. Yes, the human story. But don’t despair, because this idea of sacrifice is one that we grow into. Hopefully, we have passed it on to our own children, who will pass it in to theirs.

Yes, the circle of life.

Prayer: Amen!