Love and truth form a good leader; sound leadership is founded on loving integrity.                                     Proverbs 20:28 (The Message)

On March 15, 1783, Washington delivered his Newburgh Address to the senior officers of the Continental Army. The speech contained important themes that would later reemerge in the Washington presidency – national duty, the submission of military to civil authority, and the importance of dispassionate and good faith debate. He reminded them of their duty to the American Republic and of his own personal sacrifices for the nation. “A grateful sense of the confidence you have ever placed in me—a recollection of the cheerful assistance, prompt obedience I have experienced from you, … and the sincere affection I feel for an army I have so long had the honor to command, will oblige me to declare… the great duty I owe my Country, and those powers we are bound to respect.”

At the end of his speech, Washington reached into his pocket and put on a pair of spectacles to read a letter from Congress. “Gentlemen,” he said softly, “You will permit me to put on my spectacles, for I have not only grown gray but almost blind in the service of my country.”

According to later accounts, many of the soldiers who heard the speech were moved to tears. As one veteran of the war recalled, “I have ever considered that the United States are indebted for their republican form of government solely to the firm and determined republicanism of George Washington at this time.”

Compliments of National Constitution Center (constitutioncenter.org)

I often use George Washington as a model for leadership when I teach on the subject. He was an imperfect man, as are we all, but his wisdom and foresight paved the way for a fledging country to be born. The excerpt above indicates his sense of duty. In fact, when he delivered this speech to his old soldiers who had fought and bled with him during the Revolution, the future of this new Republic was far from certain. These same men who Washington addressed were angry (they had not been paid for months, some even years), and they were armed! They were in no mood to submit themselves to a civil authority which had not treated them well.

Yet Washington was a visionary and he was a strong and courageous leader. He implored those men to have faith and patience in a dream that they could not yet see. He had the vulnerability to let them see the frailty he had as a result of his service to his country. He had the courage to face them, and shame them into not acting in their own self-interest, but in the interest of a larger goal- a new country.

Leadership is about acting in the interest of a cause larger than ourselves.

I yearn for that type of leadership today.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us many gifts, but they will fail if we do not use them in the service of others, Amen

“For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and I am sure that it is in you as well.” II Timothy 1:5

In a recent talk I gave about leadership I discussed the value of acknowledging those leaders who have influenced us. As we grow, we are all influenced by people who have invested in us in some way, and we often fail to let those people know how important they were in our life.   

When Paul wrote his letters to Timothy, he acknowledged the legacy of faith that Timothy had by virtue of godly women in his life- Lois and Eunice.

Such legacies were discussed in the workshop I gave as I asked participants to share about the person(s) in their life who served as a model, a mentor, or an example of how to lead well.

So, I give this simple word to you today. If that person in your life is still alive, contact them, and let them know how much you appreciated how they spoke into your life and invested in you. When we share such stories, it lifts up both the speaker and the one being thanked.

This practice is good for the soul.

Prayer: Thank you Father for sending leaders into our life, Amen

Simon Peter answered, “Lord, there is no one else that we can go to! Your words give eternal life…  John 6:68 (Contemporary English Version)

Disappointed with God. That was the title of a book written by Phillip Yancy many years ago. Do you feel that way sometimes? If so, you’re in good company. The Psalmists, including David expressed such feelings very clearly and openly to God in their writing and in their prayers. Other Bible writers expressed that sentiment also. If you’re honest, there were plenty of times you felt that way too.  

The fact that we can be open and honest with God about such disappointment speaks to the very relationship that we have with him. Hiding those feelings from others, and ourselves, is not healthy. Sharing such disappointment with God is not only honest, it is proper. The fact that we can even be disappointed says that we have expectations of God to be part of our life. He simply does not always react the way that we would want or like.

The hard part is to “trust him anyway”. That is what the Psalmists usually ended up saying. I mean, what else can we do? As Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, there is no one else that we can go to! Your words give eternal life…”

So, it is, in my humble opinion, good to let God know that we are hurt, sad, disappointed- whatever it may be. He already knows that anyway. But we also know that we must “trust him anyway”, because truly, there is nowhere else to turn, and he has the words of eternal life.

Prayer: In the words of Peter, we know that you are the person that we turn to, and to “trust in anyway”, no matter the circumstances, Amen

 “The tongue has the power of life and death.” The stakes are high. Your words can either speak life, or your words can speak death. Our tongues can build others up, or they can tear them down.                                                                                                                                                             Proverbs 18:21

I had an interesting discussion the other day with a client about some communication with his wife. As we have explored in past blogs, communication can be very complex. First, there are all the non-verbal communications which are very powerful -things like eye contact, smiles, body posture, spacing, and gestures, to name a few. Verbal communication involves not just words but tone of voice, emphasis on certain words, and of course, the words themselves.

Little nuances in wording can make a big difference in communication. I was talking with my client about how he can communicate his needs to his wife regarding alone time. “Alone time” is something that everyone needs, some, of course more than others. Asking for that need was one of our discussions. He was concerned that his wife would misunderstand when he asked for time alone. In fact, that had been the case at times, and he worried about having that happen again.

He told me he would say things like “Could you give me some time alone?” This statement alone does not seem to be a problem, but if you put it in the context that there have been frictions over “control”, this statement may have taken on a different meaning than intended. Further, I have no idea of the tone of that message, or the non-verbals connected with it.

First, he was asking her to give him something that he could do for himself. It is not up to her to “give” him time alone. Another little nuance, not a big thing, but maybe a big thing, is the wording of “time alone” I suggested that he use the phrase “alone time” which is something that does not infer that he wants to be away from her, but a needed space of just having time to himself. 

Again, I realize I am getting into the weeds here of nit-picking words. Yet, attention to how those words may come across to the listener is important. I was trying to sensitize the client to see that his wife may see his words differently than he intended. That he was perhaps unintentionally giving a message to her that he did not want to give.

So, words matter. Thinking of how those words might be perceived is important. True, we are not responsible for how people receive our messages, but we do need to have consideration for how to best present that message.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the gift of language and communication, what a precious and powerful gift, Amen.

Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights                                                           Proverbs 18:15

I was speaking with a client recently about her anxiety, and we talked about her husband’s frustration with her about her need to have him communicate with her. In fact, she needs it a lot. She wanted a great deal of information from him- not because she didn’t trust him, but because she has anxiety. Her need for information, to know as much as she can, is her way of controlling her anxiety. Unfortunately, for her husband, it feels to him like her way of controlling him.

I explained to the client that information is an antidote to anxiety. The more information we have, the less we need to “fill in the blanks” which our mind will readily supply- most of it with negative narratives. Information is a form of control. The more we know, the better prepared we are to deal with whatever may come down the road.

This was a great relief to my client. She does not want to control her husband, yet her behavior looks like that to him. I told her that she is not trying to control him, she is trying to control her anxiety.

With that relief, we brainstormed ways to discuss this with her husband, who truly does want to help her, but he must know how he can do that effectively. After all, they are on the same team, but teammates need to have a consistent set of signals to one another that they can trust- just like an effective football team. Both need some tools to communicate their needs to one another better, and they are working on that.

Partners need to know how they can help one another. Often, things like anxiety make things look different than they really are in reality. We just need to be able to identify those things, and engage our partner to help.

Prayer: Lord, give us the patience to clearly communicate and hear one another, Amen

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt                                          Abraham Lincoln

But even so their evidence conflicted. So, the High Priest himself got up and took the center of the floor. “Have you no answer to make?” he asked Jesus. “What about all this evidence against you?” But Jesus remained silent and offered no reply.                                                       Mark 14:59-61

The value of silence. I have written a number of times about Job, and that when Job had all his troubles, his friends came and just sat with him without saying a word. Job felt their presence and he was comforted, even though they didn’t speak.

Jesus, standing before his wild-eyed accusers, who were making up vicious and untrue stories about him at the time of his crucifixion, was silent. In so doing, he gained power. They became desperate, angrier- and louder. There is an old saying that some attorneys have- When you have the facts, pound the facts. When you have no facts, pound the table! Somehow, we believe that if we just get louder, we can be heard better. The truth? The softer we speak, and the less we speak, the more people listen.

I am reminded of Jesus being silent before his accusers. We recall the dignity and character of Jesus as he was falsely accused. He knew who he was, and he knew the truth. That is what mattered to him.

So, as we engage others in disputes or disagreements, the discipline of silence and soft words has high value.

People can often hear our words better when they are unspoken.

Prayer: Lord, give us discernment about how and when to speak, Amen

Verb: (used without object)

to feel, show, or express grief, sorrow, or regret.

to mourn deeply.

Noun:

an expression of grief or sorrow.

a formal expression of sorrow or mourning, especially in verse or song; an elegy or dirge.                                                                                                       

(Dictionary.com)

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge                                 Psalm 62:8

There are situations in our personal life, and in world events where the only response we have is “lament”. This word is either a noun or a verb, depending on the usage and intent. We can actively lament something e.g., mourning, or have deep regret, for example. We can also be in a “state of lament” and perhaps in that state, express it, as the definition suggests, in a formal way.

Either way, it is important to become aware of this lament and own it. As I have stated before, some emotions come out in ways that are not good indicators of the true feelings inside. For example, fear may come out looking like anger. Sadness may come out as sullenness or withdrawal, and so on.

There are numerous instances in the Bible where people like David, and Jeremiah, Amos, and many others described their state of lament. They cried out to God for various situations wherein they saw themselves as helpless, and in the pain of mourning or deep sadness.

Getting in touch with our state of lament is healthy and important. Often, world situations such as the horrific invasion of Ukraine, mass shootings, dire poverty, and natural disasters cry out for lament. Personal tragedies such as a devastating illness also can bring us to a state of lament.

Lament does not necessarily mean “helpless”, but it is a recognition of the current suffering we face. That recognition may help us to share it with others, and get the help and support we need at the time.

So, we come to realize that lament is part of life, and that we are not alone in it.

Prayer: Lord, you have designed a crucial plan where you are our refuge in times of trouble, Amen

I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.                                                                   Psalm 121:1-2

The Psalm verse referenced above reminds us to “look up” to where our help comes from. I don’t know about you, but when I am faced with a task, or a problem, I tend to literally and figuratively look ahead. This implies that I need to “plow ahead”- you know, just put your head down and plow forward.

The metaphor comes, I suppose, from the rugged and numbing work of plowing a field, especially when the work implements were just a hand plow and an ox. That was hard work, and the instructions were to keep your head down and keep plowing. I have inculcated that into much of what I do, as have many in my generation, and the generations before me.

Keep your head down and plow ahead!

However, there is value in recognizing that our real help comes from looking up. Churches, especially in the Middle Ages and Renaissance, were built to bring our eyes up- clear up to the amazing ceilings and vaults high above our heads. The magnificent structures that took decades, even centuries in some cases to build, were monuments to the glory of a God who was above.

So, lifting up our eyes to the One who can give us the help we need, especially when our own efforts are insufficient, is a pretty good idea.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be looking up to you and not just trying to face things alone in our own efforts, Amen

The generous will themselves be blessed,
    for they share their food with the poor.                                                         Proverbs 22:9

Jesus said that he came to fulfill the law, not to destroy it. His words to his followers reinforced the essential doctrines of the need to care for our fellow man as set forth in the Old Testament. Time and again Jesus, and then his followers, set forth the need to display love for others, especially those who are suffering, afflicted, and in need of the help of others to navigate a difficult world.

Professing faith is not the same as practicing faith, as my friend Mike Slaughter would say. James, in his New Testament letter, warned that faith that does not produce good visible effects, is not the kind of faith that is effective. Indeed, what the world needs to see from Christians is faith in action- faith that shows love and compassion for a broken world.

THAT faith saves, and demonstrates the heart of God.

Prayer: Lord, help us to truly put into practice what we profess, Amen

 He called, “Any fish, boys?”

“No,” we replied.

 Then he said, “Throw out your net on the right-hand side of the boat, and you’ll get plenty of them!” So we did, and couldn’t draw in the net because of the weight of the fish, there were so many!

John 21:5-7

I was talking with a friend the other day about grace. Specifically, we talked about grace that is invisible to us until we are enabled to see it. I suggested that the key to have the lens to see such grace is humility.

We were talking about the incident when Jesus told Peter, (after Peter and others had spent a whole night of fruitless fishing), to cast his net on the other side of the boat. Peter, a fisherman by profession, must have been taken aback when this itinerant preacher and part-time carpenter, gave him fishing advice.

Peter did as Jesus suggested, and he came up with the biggest haul of his life. He received the grace of a bounty of fish that had heretofore been hidden from him. Peter’s decision to accede to the directions of a non-fisherman took some humility. This came from Peter’s trust of Jesus, as well as perhaps a sense of “Well, I’ve got nothing to lose” thinking. Who knows?

I do suggest that it took humility on Peter’s part to cast that net where Jesus said to. Humility is the mindset- “There are things people can teach me. I don’t have all the answers.”

Teachable people are humble people. They are successful ones too.

Prayer: Thank you for the hidden graces that await us as we trust in you, Amen.