You will notice that the variety of bodies is stunning. Just as there are different kinds of seeds, there are different kinds of bodies—humans, animals, birds, fish—each unprecedented in its form. You get a hint at the diversity of resurrection glory by looking at the diversity of bodies not only on earth but in the skies—sun, moon, stars—all these varieties of beauty and brightness. And we’re only looking at pre-resurrection “seeds”—who can imagine what the resurrection “plants” will be like!                           I Corinthians 15:39-41 (The Message)

I know what you’re thinking. What in the world is up with a headline titled Bananas. Well, bananas illustrate an important biological fact. The bananas that you eat are likely Cavendish variety bananas. In fact, about 99% of all exported bananas are now the Cavendish variety. That was not the case 100 years ago when the Gros Michel (Big Mike) was the predominant variety of banana that hit the export market.

Why does that matter you say? Well, about 50 years ago or so, a fungal infection overcame the Gros Michel variety, and it was found that the Cavendish variety was able to withstand the fungal plague that has all but eliminated the Gros Michel variety. The good news for banana lovers is that the Cavendish variety seems to have immunity to that killer fungus.

Except, now maybe it doesn’t.

Here is where the point of the story emerges. The Cavendish variety has been bred so that it is actually reproduced by cloning itself. It is genetically so lacking in diversity that it has no resistance to menacing predators that might now come along. It is so inbred, that if that certain fungus attacks the Cavendish, we are out of bananas! Current research indicates that the nasty fungus that devastated the Gros Michel may now be able to attack the Cavendish variety also. Lack of diversity tends to doom life forms that are not diverse.

God’s plan for diversity is an insurance that there is a healthy response to diseases and predators that would overwhelm highly inbred life forms. That is just the way it works. We humans tried to get “pure stock” (the eugenics debacle of the late 19^th and early 20^th centuries), by naming some races inferior, or some people as “defective”.

God’s plan is for the marvel of diversity- accepting that differences in nature work for the good of preserving life.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the beauty of diversity in your creation. Help us to truly appreciate it, Amen

 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!                                                                                                                          Matthew 6:22-23

Interesting passage of the Bible which deals with the eyes. It discusses, I think, the importance, both physically and metaphorically, of how we use our eyes. In the earlier passage, Jesus had discussed the ways that we look at wealth. Is it our primary focus, or is our primary focus how we treat other people?

I just heard a podcast about the learning abilities of wolves and dogs. It seems that both wolves and dogs rely heavily on the eye contact of the trainer to learn. The experiment they did involved how well both wolves and dogs learned cues about how to find food. (The wolves won, by the way) The point again drove home the fact to me that eye contact is extremely important in human relationships. Holding good eye contact for communication is an important tool in learning solid communication. We read a tremendous amount into non-verbal communication, like eye contact, to determine warmth and the credibility of other people.

As a counselor, I really like to make as much eye contact as is comfortable with my clients. Virtual counseling can be a challenge in this new remote telecounseling environment, (but that is the subject for another day). I read a lot into eye contact. I look at when people give it, and when they withdraw it. We can tell if someone is “with us” by virtue of the eye contact and other non-verbal cues we get from them.

Jesus in this Matthew account, states that our eyes are the “lamp of the body”. What he meant was that, we read intent and virtue into how we meet other peoples’ eyes. The old saying “the eyes are the window into the soul” likely came from this Bible verse. Indeed, as humans, we rely on cues such as eye contact to validate what we hear. If there is a disconnect between what we hear, and the non-verbals that we see, like eye contact, we will likely rely upon the eye contact as the cue we believe.

I will have more to say on this subject in future blogs. In the meantime, consider how much you value eye contact to determine the sincerity of the person to whom you are talking. We humans require complex mechanisms to communicate, but then again, so do dogs and wolves.

It seems like eyes are indeed the “lamp of the body”.

Prayer: Father, give us eyes to see the important things in life, Amen.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.                                                 II Corinthians 3:17

I recently discussed with a client the idea of considering some changes in her holiday traditions. Her family situation is changing, and she was wondering out loud if she had the “permission” to make changes in these traditions because her mother had recently passed away, and she wanted to maintain these traditions for her mother’s sake.

As we discussed this, I suggested that the one standing in the way of giving permission for these changes was her, not her mother. I knew that she had been very close to her mother, and that her mother would just want the best for her daughter after she had passed. The client readily agreed to this and saw that, if she could shed the lingering sense of guilt that had been self-imposed, she could actually make a choice for herself in this situation.

The choice is absolutely under the control of my client, and I wanted her to see that she had the freedom of that choice. It was not her mother or anyone else who might judge her choice- it was her.  

Traditions and rituals are important to us. They are reassuring, especially in a time of uncertainty. We do have the choice to make new traditions also. Changing circumstances cause us to re-evaluate those choices that we have routinely made. Empty nest, the death of family members, etc. all cause us to re-think those time-honored rituals and traditions.

I am all about tradition- I am a guardian of traditions. Yet, changes happen, and we adjust to accommodate those changes. So, as we approach the holiday season, take a look at your family traditions. By all means, maintain important connections which those traditions celebrate, but be aware that changes are allowable- if you give yourself permission.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us to value family honoring traditions. Help us also to see our freedom in how we mark them, Amen

Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach;
    good talk is as gratifying as a good harvest.

 Words kill, words give life;
    they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.                                                                                                       Proverbs 18:20-21 (the Message)

In the past, I have talked about how people can speak into our lives things that we do not see- potentials that we would not have imagined without the input of others. There are instances that I spoke of regarding disciples like John and Simon Peter who lived up to, or into, the lives that Jesus saw for them.

Unfortunately, some people live below their God-given potentials because parents or others in positions of influence did not sow into them the belief that they could do things beyond which they could envision for themselves.

There was a study many years ago with teachers and first graders where students were tested to see the academic abilities they had in preparation for first grade. In one case, the gifted students were placed in a room with a teacher who was told that the students were average to below average students. In another room, less gifted children were placed with teachers who were told that these were gifted children.

In both cases, the children tended to live up to (or down to) the expectations placed upon them. Children who were not gifted, but treated as if they were, tended to outperform their expected outcomes.

I think that people often, for various reasons, perform better than they think they can because someone believes in them. We often hear of students who say that a particular teacher motivated them to do better than they ever had- academically and socially- because of the confidence placed in them, perhaps for the first time, by a caring adult.

I think it is our opportunity, indeed our responsibility, to build up others, not artificially, but genuinely. If may be as simple as an encouraging word, or following through with helping someone be accountable for what they say they are going to do. We have the power to unlock potential in others by simply being an encouragement to them and believing in them, even when people may not be confident in themselves.    

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the gift of encouragement. It is health to the soul, Amen

“This is God’s Message, the God who made earth, made it livable and lasting, known everywhere as God: ‘Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.’                                                                                                                                          Jeremiah 33:2-3 (The Message)

So, that is what God said to the prophet Jeremiah. We can’t even begin to understand the marvels of creation.  Every day it seems we learn more about how incredible the human body is designed. Intricacies of animals and insects can scarcely be understood, even by brilliant scientific minds. 

While I was listening to a podcast the other day on my walk (yes, you know I am a podcast addict), I was fascinated by a discussion of the chemical make-up of wasp venom. Yes, I am also a nerd- I like that stuff. At any rate, the podcast host was explaining how there are certain complex enzymes and proteins in the wasp venom that make it incredibly effective. Such detail in the design of a wasp!

We take so much for granted in our creation. Indeed, we get preoccupied with so much noise of bad news around us that we fail to breathe in the wonder of creation and appreciate the most common things in life.

I often tell my clients that the first thing we need to take control of in situations where we feel no control is our breathing. We can take voluntary control of an involuntary function. It helps us to slow down and regain our cognitive control when emotions carry us to an anxious place.

The very act of inhalation and expiration is a complex chemical reaction of enormous proportion. Maybe when we take control of that breathing, we can also be thankful just for the opportunity to do it.

Sometimes I marvel at the innocence of lower life forms who are not sentient and are unaware of their own existence or significance. Maybe, in our own way, we are sometimes just as clueless.

I think that there are marvelous and wondrous things we will never figure out on our own…

Prayer: Thank you Lord for this amazing life you have given to us. We are truly fearfully and wonderfully made, Amen.

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well                                                                                                                                                    Psalm 139:14

I had a discussion the other day with a client about self-worth. This client had struggled for much of his life with pleasing other people to get their approval. He had gotten the message early in life that the approval of others was the key to feeling good about himself. His worth was being determined by the reactions and behaviors of those outside himself.

As we discussed this further, I assured him that this is something common to all. Everyone wants affection and approval to some degree, especially from those people important to us. However, we need to cling to the truth that our worth is not determined by that approval of others. We have inherent worth and unwavering love from our Creator. Yes, the affection we receive from others is critically important to our emotional health, but while it is necessary, it is not sufficient to sustain us.

Healthy self-love is critical so that we can accept ourselves- our strengths, weaknesses, faults and quirks; our accomplishments, failures- the whole package that makes us. We need to remember that ultimately, we need that self-acceptance to maintain our emotional health.

We need the truth and reminder that we are made in God’s image, loved by him, and never rejected.  

Prayer: Lord, you have made us in your image, loved and accepted by you. Help us to truly appreciate this gift, Amen

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.                                                                                                                                     Isaiah 55:8-9

How easily that sentence can roll off my tongue these days- “I don’t know”. You see, the truth is the secret to wisdom is to recognize that there is so very much that we do not know. We go through life accumulating a fund of knowledge- facts, experiences, even wisdom- yet there is an amazing amount we do not know.

Sometimes religion would offer to people the idea that we can have knowledge of God and understanding of his plans. I think that such an idea is hubris at its worst. There is so much about God that we do not know, and can never know, and it is the height of pride to pretend that we can.

Job and his friends tried to understand why Job was suffering, and they used all the knowledge that they had to figure out the puzzle of human suffering.  In the end God told them that essentially, He is the author and creator of life, and that their job was not to understand his ways, but to trust his ways.

Isn’t that the truth that we try to tell our young children? They do not understand why we give them certain directions and guidance, but we do it for their good. They were too young to understand the reasons for our decisions, they just needed to trust us as loving parents.

I think that is how it is with God too. We cannot see the full picture of his master plans. We try to understand because we are curious and are made to seek understanding and knowledge. But God’s plans are bigger than our minds can understand fully. Our job is to trust him, knowing that he has our best interest at stake.

“I don’t know” is a perfectly fine phrase to say. It is especially good if we can follow it by saying, “but I trust Him”.

Prayer: Lord, we do not always understand your ways, but help us to trust them more and more, Amen.

You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form,
he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.                          Philippians 2:5-8

The essential tenet of Christian belief is that Jesus came to earth, was conceived in a miraculous way, and died to save a sinful people. He was a divine being who gave up the privileges of Deity in order to save a mankind that had turned its back on God. He took on the humility of being a human being, and gave up the privileges he owned and deserved.

This is a very hard concept for us, and understandably so. It involves miracles and faith, and it stretches our understanding of both God and man. That Jesus was fully human and fully God is a theological concept that is way beyond my ability to explain or even understand. Yet, in so many ways it is a beautiful way of understanding the world. It is an elegant explanation of how God loves his creation, and it also challenges our humility to say, “I accept this, but I do not really understand it”.

It also, for me, begs the question, “so, if Jesus was fully human, did he make mistakes?”  My answer is yes, he certainly did. He made mistakes but he didn’t sin (Hebrews 4:15). Sins involve deliberate behaviors with selfish or prideful motives. Mistakes are, well, mistakes.

In 1973, the eminent psychiatrist Karl Menninger wrote a book titled Whatever Became of Sin? The book discussed the moral decline of America which had taken place over the preceding decades before the publishing of the book. As a psychiatrist, Menninger was keenly aware of the moral dimensions of human failures and the price that people pay emotionally for such failures. He took to task the society which had excused moral excesses in the name of freedom. He asked the simple question, “Is anything considered to be wrong anymore?”

That was a good question then, and it still is today. It brings to mind to me the important distinction between mistakes and moral failures. I will share with you that a pet peeve of mine is the juxtaposition of the term “mistake” for what are obvious moral failures.

One does not have to look too far to see this subtle refuge for those who have crossed a moral boundary, and who cover it by claiming the innocence of a “mistake”. After all, everyone makes mistakes, right? Allow me to expound.

Let’s say you file your income tax and you have made a math error on the return. As a result, you are due a refund of an extra $100. That was a mistake.

Your friend also files his tax return, but he deliberately fudges a number which results in his receiving an extra $100 on his tax refund. That was cheating, a moral failure. The results were the same, but the intent was different. That is the difference between a mistake, and a moral failure, or, if you will, sin.

How many times have we heard athletes or actors, or politicians, caught in a transgression, plead that they have “made a mistake” and ask to be forgiven. The politician is caught in an affair, becomes contrite and accepts that he “made a mistake.” The athlete takes steroids, gets caught, and then pleads that he “made a mistake” and asks the public to embrace him again.

Let’s be clear that the above examples are NOT examples of mistakes. They are wrong behaviors watered down to “mistake” so that the behavior can be mitigated and the crime minimized. My mere suggestion is that we be clear about what is a mistake and what is a sin.  I believe in forgiveness, no matter if it is a simple mistake, or if it is a moral failure. However, for the sake of the individual who needs the forgiveness, it is crucial to understand that “sin” is of deliberate intent, and it needs to be acknowledged as such.

As a counselor, I try to help people get moral clarity. I do not judge people, but I do help them to take a moral self-inventory (the 4^th step of 12 Step programs) so that they can move ahead from past failures.  Acknowledging our failures, as well as differentiating them from honest mistakes, is important in the healing process- it is the start of it.

 We all indeed make mistakes, and we all make wrong moral choices at times. I believe that if we can understand the difference, and own what we do, we are then able to heal and move ahead.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for forgiveness, no matter if we make mistakes or sin. Help us have the discernment and humility to know and own the differences, Amen.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me.  There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.  And you know the way to where I am going.”                                                                                         John 14:1-4 (New Living Translation)

As we get close to Thanksgiving (yes, it is already November 1), I began to think about family and the idea that there is always “room at the table” for family. This idea of family around the table came from several directions. Mostly, I was just thinking about Lori.

As I write this blog, my own family is preparing for another funeral. My faithful readers may recall that just over two weeks ago I wrote a blog titled “Lou”, about the passing of my cherished brother-in-law. Just 20 days later, his daughter, my niece Lori, succumbed to cancer as well.

I was reminded of the promise that Jesus made to his disciples as he was preparing for his own homecoming to his father in heaven. He essentially said- “There is room for all of you in my Father’s house, after all, we are family”

Lori had been a 40-year survivor of a different type of cancer. This last cancer ravaged her body too quickly, and despite a valiant, even heroic fight, she went home to be with her father all too soon. We will all miss her terribly. Her large heart had room in it for many people too. Now she is at home with her own father, and her heavenly Father as well.   

I cling to this promise, and I am sure that my big sister, Lois and her own daughters Linda and Leanne do too. Lori’s two children, Matthew and Becky, and her husband, Doug, are an incredibly strong and supportive family, sustained by a positive and abiding faith in Jesus.

Jesus told us of the promise of rest in his own Father’s house- big enough for an untold number of families. We indeed need that kind of assurance. He also knew that here on earth, we need the strength of our physical families to survive the crushing grief that accompanies such loss.

So, as this Thanksgiving season rushes up on us, remember that there is always room at the table for those we love, and even those that we don’t know yet.

The ones who have left us are still at the table with us in our hearts.  

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the promise of room in your house. We are heartened by it, Amen

After this a lot of his disciples left. They no longer wanted to be associated with him. Then Jesus gave the Twelve their chance: “Do you also want to leave?”

 Peter replied, “Master, to whom would we go? You have the words of real life, eternal life. We’ve already committed ourselves, confident that you are the Holy One of God.”

There is a now famous saying that President Harry S. Truman had on a little plaque on his desk- “The Buck Stops Here”. The saying is perhaps a bit trite nowadays, but the principle is still relevant. Back in those days, the early 1950’s, the idea resonated bit more than it does today. We had just come through the great conflict of World War II, and military type thinking was still much more accepted. Radical responsibility said that the leader took full ownership of anything that happened under his/her watch. If there was a mishap, a failure, a problem, the leader took responsibility for it, even if the specifics of the problem were not directly attributable to the leader.

President Truman had to make some very difficult decisions. He had to decide upon dropping the atomic bomb on Japan. He had to decide proper actions on a national steel strike. He had to decide on firing General Douglas MacArthur when MacArthur defied orders. Truman made some important, and often unpopular decisions, but he owned them and accepted the consequences. 

Perhaps this is harsh, but it points out the ultimate nature of responsibility. The leader does not get to blame underlings or others for failures that happen on his/her watch. Blame is not projected onto others, and the leader cannot act like a victim. Real leaders accept that they are ultimately responsible for the organization they lead and, by extension, the lives of those people in that organization.

People can follow a leader whom they trust. People can trust leaders who accept responsibility, and those who own the consequences of their decisions. Casting blame onto others for failures is not an option. Yes, leadership is hard, and often unfair. But that is the cost of leadership.

Prayer: As Peter replied to Jesus, you are the only leader who has the words of life. Help us follow, Amen.