So it is with faith: if it is alone and includes no actions, then it is dead. But someone will say, “One person has faith, another has actions.” My answer is, “Show me how anyone can have faith without actions. I will show you my faith by my actions.”                                                                                                     James 2:17-18 (Good News)

I have a love of science, and I am fascinated by physics and chemistry. However, I am a complete amateur at these subjects, and my fascination with them does not mean that I understand those topics well. In high school, I was just glad to pass Physics, the final exam in my senior year. I tossed the Physics book into the trash can as I was leaving the building, glad to be finished with that course! As I got older, I was drawn to the subject, and now I love to read about it- now that there is no grade attached!

I think that Physics principles are true in every area of life, including mental and emotional health. There is a certain beauty and truth about the idea in the law that states

 … the total energy of an isolated system is constant; energy can be transformed from one form to another, but can be neither created nor destroyed.

Isn’t that cool? The Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun, and indeed, that is true. Energy and matter can be transformed one into another, but we are not going to create energy. That has already been done. We are living off the sun’s energy, created long ago, in this “closed system” of our universe.

One of Newton’s Laws of Motion states-

…an object either remains at rest or continues to move at a constant velocity, unless acted upon by a force

This law is true of human behavior as well. The principle of inertia says that unless I do something, add a force, supply some energy, I will stay at rest. Unless I make some decision to act, and then do it, I will stay at rest. In order to feel better, to lift my mood, I must add energy- act on my decisions. I must act to improve my mood and situation. It seems obvious, but how often do we wait for “some one” or “some thing” else to change so that we can feel better? Yeah, we all do that sometimes.

So, the principle is true in physics and human behavior. Do, then feel. It works, it’s a Law of Physics! J

Prayer: Thank you for the beauty and genius of creation. Your ways are indeed higher than ours, and I am amazed every day the exquisite plans of yours, Amen

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.                                                          John 1:5

Maybe it is no coincidence that we traditionally celebrate Christmas in the darkest (literally) time of the year. The Winter solstice occurs on December 21^st, and, of course, Christmas is celebrated on December 25^th. The Northern Hemisphere is having the shortest days of the year around that time. Perhaps symbolically we see that when we are at our darkest points, the light from above is sent to guide and encourage us. Many people in the world need that right now.

The people in Ukraine are suffering at the hands of evil. People in Gaza and Israel suffer long standing political violence. People in the United States are reeling from multiple mass shootings this past year. Violent, senseless, political rhetoric separates people.  

We need the light.

God in his mercy and wisdom did send Jesus, the Redeemer, to give us hope and a way to live. He sent his son into a dark world to show us that love can conquer the worst we have to offer- and we have a lot of “worst” to offer.

But take heart my friends. God does not leave us in that darkness without a remedy. This Christmas season, let’s remember that hope.

Prayer: Lord, we anticipate the renewal of Christmas as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, Amen

I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified                                                                                                            I Corinthians 9:27

I hear those statistics about how long it takes for some practices to become habits. You know, “continue to do this thing for three weeks and it becomes a habit”. I have no idea about that because we are all different. I do know that habits are not automatic. We have decisions everyday about how we are going to behave that day.

I do know that the discipline of exercise has now become a habit for me. That is, the thing I used to force myself to do became the thing that I miss if I do not do it. It started several years ago when I really realized that I was not in top physical condition. Yes, my health was good, thank God, but I was not in shape. I was overweight, and my stamina was not what it should have been.

So, I decided to practice the discipline of walking at least 30 minutes per day. That discipline grew as I heard that really, 10,000 steps per day was a goal that we ought to have. I do not know the science of that, if any, but the idea seems right. We Americans simply do not move enough. We are sedentary, and that, by any measure, is not healthy.

I bought a Fitbit, (then an Apple Watch), and I became addicted to those 10,000 steps/day. That was about 5 years ago. Now, if I don’t get at least 13,000 steps per day, I am not happy with myself. The point here is that the discipline that I started several years ago grew into a habit. Good disciplines make good habits.

All of the literature on depression indicates that physical exercise is equally effective as medication in mitigating mild to moderate depression. I always advise my clients to add exercise into their lives because it is good in every way for us, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Just to be clear, I am not advocating that people simply stop taking antidepressant medication- it is effective, and sometimes necessary in treatment of depression and anxiety. However, if my clients are physically able to exercise, I always make that part of the homework.

Keeping the promises that we make to ourselves is the basis of healthy self-esteem. I know that regular exercise for me is important, and I plan to continue. That discipline has become a healthy habit.

Prayer: Thank you father for the gift of our bodies- precious gifts that we must nurture and protect, Amen.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.                                                                                                                        James 1:17

Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. We set aside this particular day to collectively show gratitude for the many blessings that have been bestowed upon our country. Of course, every day should be Thanksgiving Day given that we have so very much to be thankful for. Every good gift, our very life itself, is a gift from God the Creator.   

An “attitude of gratitude” as many people in the recovery community say, is the way to stay clean and sober. I would say that such an attitude is proper and even necessary for our well-being and success in life. No matter what we have, or what we have done, none of it is possible without the gracious hand of God who provides what we need.

So let us rededicate ourselves to that attitude of gratitude every day. In that way we can keep proper perspective, humility, and grace which are qualities that all of us need every single day.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for who you are and for what you provide, Amen.

Today is November 22. For those of us of a certain age, that date will forever be connected with the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. That day marked the end of an age of innocence, both for those in my generation as well as the United States in general. If you were old enough to have experienced that tragic event, you remember exactly where you were and what you were doing when you heard the news. There are just a few certain events in life that burn such indelible memories into our brain.

Who knows what course the nation may have taken had Kennedy lived, and possibly won a second presidential term. Our course as a country would certainly be different. Perhaps the course of events of the world would be different as well. Would the Vietnam War have taken the same course? Would Richard Nixon have won in 1968? Would the distrust of government which has grown since the Warren Report, and then accelerated after the Nixon debacle, have gotten such traction?

All questions that will never be answered.

I do know that I had such a sense of sadness after November 22, 1963, that it helped to shape my adolescence. My generation got a shocking awakening at a vulnerable period in our life. I think it also gave rise to the turbulent 1960’s which changed the course and attitude of the nation.

I do not know how my readers around the world were affected by this event. They probably have their own signal events that were “game-changers” for them. I also believe that the assassination helped shape world events also, so in a sense, everyone felt the disruption of that tragic day.

So, as we remember that 59^th anniversary of the assassination, pause to consider how one event can literally change your world, and the world around you.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8 (KJV)

As we enter Thanksgiving week, I thought it would be a good time to re-run this blog from last November. I hope it reaffirms our faith in the goodness of everyday kindness all around us…

The police officer who pays for groceries for a vagrant instead of arresting him. The minimum wage clerk at McDonalds who pays the bill for a customer who forgot her wallet. The first person in line at a Starbucks drive-thru who pays for the person’s order behind him, setting off a chain of events of people paying for the person behind them. The teacher who buys school supplies for her students who cannot afford them. The truck driver who stops to change a flat tire for a stranded motorist. The line of people at the blood bank giving life-saving plasma. The volunteers who go to California to help fight forest fires. The outpouring of support after a natural disaster.

Should I go on? Not enough room in the blog. These events happen EVERY DAY. There are actually too many instances of giving and sacrifice to be documented here. These events typically do not make headlines. Maybe because they are too commonplace and we take them for granted. Maybe they do not fit the narrative of sensationalism that our news cycle craves. Whatever the reason, we must not lose sight of this aspect of our human character.

It is important to celebrate these little daily exercises of goodwill and humanity. Take heart my dear readers, goodwill and kindness abound, it just gets shut out of the headlines. Keep up your silent and important everyday deeds that help your fellow traveler on this earth.

That is what we need to keep in mind to stay focused on what our country, indeed every country needs. These things are what makes America great. Let’s not let that knowledge slip into the background too far.

Prayer: Lord, you have created us to live in community and to bear one another’s burdens. Help us to remember that wonderful aspect of your creation, Amen

“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men”                              Luke 2:41-52

Prayer: Father, your plans are higher than our plans, your ways higher than ours. Thank you for the plan of sending Jesus to be with us, and to give his life for ours, Amen.   

 Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

 Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people,“Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?”  They came out of the town and made their way toward him.

John 4:27-30

A favorite story of mine from the Bible is the story of the “Woman at the Well”. Here, Jesus encounters a woman who had been an outcast in her own village, and she ended up having a chance (inspired) meeting with Jesus at the well. You likely know the story. My favorite takeaway is that after Jesus spoke with her and she became aware that this was the awaited  Messiah, she hurried back to the village to share the news.

Remember now that she likely was not “Miss Popularity” in that village. After all, she came alone to the well at noon, which was not the cultural norm. She was alone for a reason I am guessing.  Yet here she is, telling people in her Samaritan village that this Jew that she met at the well is the Messiah.

And they listened to her.

So, here was a woman who was a bit of an outcast, telling her story with so much excitement and fervor that people were moved by her. While she did not likely see herself as worthy, and the villagers saw her as a five-time loser in the marriage department, Jesus saw her as an evangelist.

So, we need to define ourselves not by our own sometimes jaded opinion of ourselves, but we need to see ourselves through the eyes of Jesus.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see others as you see them, Amen

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens the wits of another.                                                                     Proverbs 27:17 (Names of God Bible)

I spoke with a client recently and she shared with me that sometimes when she looks in the mirror, she sees a woman who is not competent, not confident, and one wracked with doubt and guilt. She said, “I am just being honest with how I feel”.

I told her that I appreciated her candor and honesty. I reminded her, since I have known her  through counseling periodically over several years, that much of her guilt is actually her anxiety about her children. She wonders if she has done enough to prepare them to be launched into the world. I could honestly assure this client that she has been a great single mother, and if anything, tries to overprotect her kids.

I also told her that her honesty was a wonderful character trait, but that just being honest does not make those thoughts true. Yes, she is being honest about how she feels, and she has a right to her feelings. Yet that does not mean that what she feels is the truth. Sometimes we need the feedback of others to validate- or dispute- thinking that may be faulty.

We all have feelings, and they are valid for us, but we also need the courage and humility to bounce those feelings off trusted people who can speak truth into our lives.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be honest with ourselves, and also seek truth, Amen

All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn’t, and doesn’t, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that’s the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life—a life that goes on and on and on, world without end.                           Romans 5:20-21 (The Message)

I had the opportunity recently to share a story that a client shared with me many years ago. This is a story of the need for self-forgiveness, and it is as true and needed today as it was back then. Here it is with the name, of course, a stand-in for the actual name…

Lisa came into my office one day and said that she needed to share her story. She had been a prostitute and addicted to drugs, and one day presented at an emergency room overdosed (she presumes). She barely remembered how she got to the ER, but she vividly remembered the vision she had.

She said that you hear of people who are dying say that they are drawn to a light, perhaps a bright light. She continued, “I was not drawn to any kind of light. In fact, I was falling quickly into a deep and scary dark pit. As I was falling, I heard a voice say to me, ‘If I sent my son to die for you to be forgiven, how dare you not forgive yourself!’

With that, she found herself hovering over her own body lying in the ER bed. Soon after, she was revived, and eventually recovered. However, she was so impacted by this vision that she committed that day to make a new life. She had been forgiven, and started to work on forgiving herself- the hardest task she had ever encountered.

She related this story, which I clearly remember to this day although she shared it with me maybe 25 years ago. Hers was a life of suffering and sin, washed clean by a God who loved her. He only asked her to forgive herself, because he already had.  

Self-forgiveness is hard, but it is essential if we want to live a life free of shame. God sent his son for that very reason, so it is our job to accept his grace and forgiveness, even if we do not understand it.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for grace, even if we do not understand it, help us not to reason it, but to accept it, Amen