True and Helpful

 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.                                                                                               Ephesians 4:15

The other day I got to thinking about a situation with one of my clients, and I asked myself, “would I share that particular thought with my client?” I had been thinking about some issues the client had discussed, and while that issue was no longer relevant to treatment, I stopped for a moment because it struck me that, while my observation was probably true, it would not be helpful to share it as feedback.

The idea of having a filter of “true and helpful” struck me as a pretty solid framework for deciding feedback. I can have a certain idea that I feel is true, but if it would not be helpful to share, I do not share it. Obviously, if something were not true, even if it would possibly helpful, I would not share it. By that I mean, sharing a false affirmation or sentiment that I did not believe  would not ultimately be helpful.

It is similar, perhaps, to “speaking the truth in love”, though not exactly the same. If I have a truth, but cannot deliver it in love, then it should not be shared. Often, I think truth cannot be truly heard unless it is delivered in love.

Alas, I am not perfect in this since I love imperfectly. Yet, I like these ethical standards as guidelines for care.

Prayer: Lord, you have entrusted to us care for one another. Help us to steward it well, Amen