Set Free

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”                                                                        John 8:32

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves…” Step 4 of Alcoholics Anonymous

I was recently talking with a client about his latest anxiety diversion- eBay shopping. As we talked further, I noted that the addictive aspect of this behavior was the bidding part. Yes, the purchase itself was a sort of “retail therapy”- getting some product to temporarily divert from anxiety or depression.

As we talked further, however, it appeared that the product itself was not the big part of the reward. The big reward, I felt, was the “win” of winning the bid from someone else. This is not a surprise. We know that in gambling addictions, the big payoff is not necessarily the money, but the idea of winning. Indeed, there is a surge of adrenaline and dopamine involved in the entire process. Even the prospect of losing has a certain stimulation that keeps gamblers gambling.

We know also that in slot machines, people feel that when the line comes up just short of, let’s say “three cherries” for a win, you are no closer to winning than you ever were. It just looks that way.

In this day of social media, we are more aware than ever about the allure and addiction of algorithms. Those who engineer such algorithms in some ways tend to direct our life in ways that we are unaware.

So, as in so many things, awareness of the situation is a large part of the strategy of regaining control over our own life. Of course, fearless self-honesty is what saves the day.  

The courageous people of 12 step traditions have had it right for a long time!

Prayer: Lord, help us to reflect honestly on our own behaviors and habits, Amen