“You men who are fathers—if your boy asks for bread, do you give him a stone? If he asks for fish, do you give him a snake? If he asks for an egg, do you give him a scorpion? Of course not! Luke 11:11-12 (Living)
I recently had a discussion with a client about his anxiety, which can play out as irritability and anger toward his children when they misbehave. Every parent can relate to responses to children who have displayed defiant or disrespectful behavior.
We are NOT happy!
However, this client has been deeply concerned about how his anger and his raised voice affects his children, and will affect them in the future. These are good and thoughtful questions. As we explored his interactions with his kids, he admits that he is hard on them because he is worried about their future. Will they grow up to be reckless and disrespectful adults? Will they get into trouble as adults?
As we discussed this, I pointed out that his anxiety lets his mind “run away” with irrational fears about his children’s future. As he thought about it, he realized that he was thinking of very unlikely catastrophes. His kids are being raised well by he and his wife, but it is a struggle, especially with some special needs kids. He worries about their future.
His anxiety stems from a place of care and concern. He is a good dad, and he wants the best for his children. His discipline measures are for their best future and even current interests, but he has let anxiety run away with his joy.
Anxiety has a way of being a joy robber for all of us. Taking time to breathe, and recognize that our motives are good helps to put anxiety into a little better perspective some times.
Prayer: Lord, help us to take time to breathe to gain perspective on our anxieties, Amen
Reflections of a Counselor 
amen
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