Control

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.                       Galatians 5:22-23

Recently I was talking with a client who struggles with anger. He has a lot of stress at work and at home and he does not want to be an angry guy around his kids. He feels bad about yelling at his kids, and he sincerely wants help. We talked about his triggered responses and the need to “hit the pause button” when he gets a stimulus that may trigger his anger.

We went through the anxiety “tool kit” that I work out with clients, and we discussed his need for control of his kids. We went through his perceived need for control, and he came to realize that if he cannot control himself, he will never be able to control his kids. Control of his emotions must be present before he can exert any control over his children’s’ misbehaviors.

The only things we can really control are our own attitudes, feelings, and behaviors. We cannot control anything without control of our own emotions and behaviors.

We want to control a lot of things in our environment. Yes, we are all “control freaks”. Let’s just agree that we would love total control, and that we also will never have it. Just saying that out loud says, “I cannot control everything”.

That is a good start.

Prayer: Lord, you are in control, and we are not. There, that felt better! Amen

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