“The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.” Robert C. Dodds
I spoke with a couple the other day who presented with marriage problems. There were some typical problems that they identified, including blended family, finances, and difficulty with emotional communication. They were a very open couple and they were able to hear some of the hard things I might need to say to them.
I noted that they were both very successful, driven individuals, and both quite strong-willed. I suggested to them that they could certainly have an improved marriage if they were willing to work. I also pointed out to them that they should not expect a smooth road in their marriage. They were going to have some rocky times due to their strong wills and difficulty compromising or sacrificing. The couple acknowledged this, and even seemed to welcome that clear honesty. They both smiled and essentially said, “yes, that is true of us!”
Some couples have smoother roads on their journey together than others. This couple was going to have a marriage that would be intense and conflictual at times, but that would give the energy to the relationship that both seemed to seek. The very things that drew them together were going to be the potential points of conflict in their marriage. Their candor, and willingness to acknowledge their temperaments will bode well in helping this relationship to survive and even thrive.
The point here is that the road in marriage does not need to be, and will not be, always smooth. We need to acknowledge the rocks in the road and deal with them. The commitment to look for those rocks together and to face them together is the answer to making the relationship great.
Prayer: Lord, give us the wisdom to be able to identify the rocks in the road of relationship, Amen.