November 3^rd Edition

We are now leaving the “spooky/scary” part of the calendar and we are entering the Thanksgiving/Christmas period. Funny how that works isn’t it? Our cultural rhythms have tended to go that way these past several decades. The “scary/spooky” part carried much less weight many years ago. However, these days, we seem to be enamored with Halloween shenanigans. Maybe the Halloween and Freddie Kruger type movie series played a part, or maybe Stephen King novels captured our imagination- who knows?  What we do know is that we are now full-on into the Thanksgiving and Christmas season. So, let the fun begin!

But before that, let me speculate on why we are so enamored with the horror genres. I mean, why do people want to expose themselves to horror, fear and nightmares? I think that it is a matter of control. Remember my theorem that control is the antidote to anxiety? Horror movies, ironically, might fit right into that.

In a movie theater, we can simulate terror cinematically, and often realistically and even effectively. But in the end, it is just a movie. In fact, years ago, an effective movie trailer subtext was “it’s only just a movie…” So, we get to experience thrills and horror and fear from the comfort of a theater seat. We have control over the environment, except to the extent we choose to get lost in the movie. But again, in the end, we know that we will walk out of that theater intact, and not the meal of some monster, or the victim of brain seeking zombies. We have control of the ending.

So, my friends, for those of you who enjoy such movies, by all means, enjoy the vicarious anxiety and dread, because in the end, you can go home and be in control of your own situation!

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving/Christmas!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith…                                                        Hebrews 12:1-2  

November 2^nd is traditionally celebrated as All Souls Day in the Catholic Church- the commemoration of all the faithful departed who have gone before us. It is a time to remember loved ones- faithful people who may have been instrumental in our own spiritual development. I have a long list of those people, and I am guessing that you do too. There are many whom I do not even know, but they were part of my story before I knew them.

We have a history of people who have gone before us who paved the way, physically and spiritually. We have a debt of gratitude to many. Let us rededicate this day to continue to build that legacy for those who are following us.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us a wonderful legacy of saints who formed us, and continue through us, Amen  

 Paul then stood up in the meeting of the Areopagus and said: “People of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious.  For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: to an unknown god. So, you are ignorant of the very thing you worship—and this is what I am going to proclaim to you.            Acts 17: 22-23

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…                                                                                          James 1:19

I was recently speaking with my wife about Paul’s Mars Hill experience in the book of Acts. He met with Greek pagans who had been seeking their own “Higher Power”, and they had even made an altar to an “unknown God”. Paul commended them on seeking to know God- a God whom he would gladly explain to them.

Paul was curious enough to seek out the belief system of those with whom he would converse. Indeed, he did not condemn them, he sought to engage them. He used their own cultural language to engage them.

Too many Christians in these times are quick to condemn but slow to listen.

I like Paul’s approach.

Prayer: Lord, give us the discipline to be quick to listen and slow to condemn, Amen

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go.                            James 3: 3-4

When I see my clients who struggle with anxiety, I always look for small, practical, simple actions for the “anxiety tool kit” that I give them. As I have said before in this space, in times of anxiety, it is important that people feel a sense of control of their environment. Control is the antidote to anxiety. Of course we cannot control everything around us. Indeed, actually, trying to do that is counterproductive.

But within limits, there are thing we can control. We cannot “outthink” anxiety, but we can “outbehave” it.   What I mean is, by controlling our own actions, we can feel more in control of our environment. The three first steps I often give to people is to: Breathe; Hydrate; Move

We can take control of an involuntary action (breathing), and feel more in control of our body. There are certain steps in this, and I will cover that in another blog. Next, we can hydrate- drink some water. Very often, we feel tired, restless and anxious simply because we have not taken in enough water. Actually, (and I am pretty bad about this myself) we need to drink even when we are not thirsty. Our body needs hydration even before we feel thirst.

Finally, we need movement. Any kind of movement can suffice. Walking, working on a hobby, stretching- any kind of intentional movement- can put anxious thoughts aside, even for a brief time. That gives us the space to have a respite, to perhaps talk with a friend, do some journalling, etc. Those actions can even better deflect anxious thoughts.

So, my friends, a brief trip to the “tool shed” – the anxiety tool kit!

Prayer: Lord, you have given use what we need in times of need. We are grateful for that, Amen  

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful                                                              Psalm 139:14

I recently talked with a client about his ADHD, and how it might impact his daily life. Many adults with ADD or ADHD may suffer from depression and low self-esteem. This client had struggled in school and assumed that he did not have very high intelligence. Such thinking is not uncommon for people with these disorders. As we talked, I explained to the client that often, such situations can be likened to a car with a high-powered motor, but having problems with the transmission. This car has plenty of horsepower, but it needs to be directed with a good transmission. We work on fixing that transmission issue.

People who suffer from forms of ADD often have higher than average intelligence, but because of brain organization problems and distractibility, they may have trouble translating that intelligence in the ways they would like.  They may have trouble with memory, and can struggle with following schedules and being on time.

The sad part about many challenges we have is that we can let them define us. We are much more than the limitations that we all face in life. Encouragement from others can go a long way in helping people to see themselves in a different and positive light.

Prayer: Lord help us to see the positives of how we have been created, Amen    

Late in the afternoon his disciples came to him and said, “Tell the people to go away to the nearby villages and farms and buy themselves some food, for there is nothing to eat here in this desolate spot, and it is getting late.”

 But Jesus said, “You feed them.”                                                                            Mark 6:35-37

I always liked this passage about Jesus feeding the 5000. There are a lot of elements to it, and of course the one we resonate to is the miracle of stretching five loaves of bread and two fish to feed that crowd until they were full. Yes, that was pretty major!

However, there are other themes here too. The one I am thinking about today is that Jesus told the disciples to feed the people. This is just after the disciples had, understandably, tried to get a manageable plan so that these hungry people could eat. They proposed that the people be sent away to purchase their own food.

 But Jesus had a lesson in mind for them. He wanted the disciples to begin to understand their responsibility toward those who would follow the message of Jesus. They were to serve those people, not send them off to forage for themselves. Jesus also did this to have an opportunity to let them know of the power that they had, even miraculous power, if they simply trusted the Master, and also used what was on hand to perform that miracle.

Jesus calls us to serve with what we have in our hand- our talents, strengths and abilities, employed for his service. As the old saying goes, “He doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called”.

So, we are to employ whatever gifts or resources that we have to serve the Kingdom, and God will provide what we need as we move ahead in faith

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the plan that we are called to serve, and that you will provide, Amen

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8 (KJV)

I hope this reaffirms our faith in the goodness of simple everyday kindness all around us…

The police officer who pays for groceries for a vagrant instead of arresting him. The minimum wage clerk at McDonalds who pays the bill for a customer who forgot her wallet. The first person in line at a Starbucks drive-thru who pays for the person’s order behind him, setting off a chain of events of people paying for the person behind them. The teacher who buys school supplies for her students who cannot afford them. The truck driver who stops to change a flat tire for a stranded motorist. The line of people at the blood bank giving life-saving plasma. The volunteers who go to California to help fight forest fires. The outpouring of support after a natural disaster.

Should I go on? Not enough room in the blog. These events happen EVERY DAY. There are actually too many instances of giving and sacrifice to be documented here. These events typically do not make headlines. Maybe because they are too commonplace and we take them for granted. Maybe they do not fit the narrative of sensationalism that our news cycle craves. Whatever the reason, we must not lose sight of this aspect of our human character.

It is important to celebrate these little daily exercises of goodwill and humanity. Take heart my dear readers, goodwill and kindness abound, it just gets shut out of the headlines. Keep up your silent and important everyday deeds that help your fellow traveler on this earth.

That is what we need to keep in mind to stay focused on what our country, indeed every country needs. These things are what makes America great. Let’s not let that knowledge slip into the background too far.

Prayer: Lord, you have created us to live in community and to bear one another’s burdens. Help us to remember that wonderful aspect of your creation, Amen

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.  On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:17-21

This passage came to mind today as I was looking at world events that are unfolding around us. Paul wrote these words in a similar time of strife and persecution. We are told to live peaceably, to not take revenge. We are told to feed enemies and take care of those who are not like us, or perhaps do not like us.

That same passage endures today. Hard words to live by, but we as Christians are called to do it.  

Prayer: Give us the courage to be counter to the world culture, Amen

Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.

Eckhart Tolle

I recently had a discussion with a client about the connection between sadness and anger. She has always had trouble getting in touch with the emotion of sadness, but instead she tends to become irritable and angry when upset with news that would normally elicit sadness.  

Upon further discussion of her history, it made sense that the client had tried to protect herself from sadness by getting in touch with an emotion over which she better understood and felt more control of- anger.

As I discussed this with her, I explained that irritability is often a characteristic of depression. People who are sad or depressed find it easier, or perhaps even more acceptable, to display anger instead. Anger may be more of a protection from the profound sadness that is so frightening for so many people.

We all get sad at times, and we all get angry at times. It is important to take the time and effort to really understand what is taking place in our internal emotional life. Only then can we effectively deal with either of these emotions.

Prayer: Lord, help us to take the time to look honestly and courageously at our emotions, Amen  

 I thank my God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.                                    Philippians1:3-6

I woke up with this verse in my head today, and I feel compelled to share this with my readers this morning. I have always loved this verse because it speaks to Paul’s love for his fellow believers, and it is also so encouraging. It made me think of the importance of sharing those feelings that we have toward one another on a very regular basis.

Paul’s fellow travelers in faith shared many hardships. Indeed, many faced death on a regular basis. The thing that encouraged them was knowing that others cared for them, and that God sustains them. Paul said that he was “confident that God, who had begun a good work in them, would carry it on to completion”.

We need to be reminded of this promise, especially in these trying days. We need to remind one another of this promise also. So, I want to convey that I am so thankful every day for my family, my friends, my colleagues, my readers- so many people in my life.

Pass on today that sentiment to those around you, or even those distant via our electronically connected world. Blessings on your journey…

Prayer: Father, thank you for sustaining us with your love and provision, and thank you for the plan that we travel together, Amen.