Away in a manger, no crib for a bed,
The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head.
The stars in the sky looked down where he lay,
The little Lord Jesus asleep in the hay.
The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes,
But little Lord Jesus no crying he makes.
I love Thee, Lord Jesus, look down from the sky
And stay by my cradle ’til morning is nigh.
Be near me, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever, and love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children in thy tender care,
And take us to heaven, to live with Thee there.

I love the traditional old carols, don’t you? The Christmas season brings back these beautiful little songs to be sung each year to get us in the mood of celebrating the birth of Jesus. Of course, many of the lyrics, sweet and lovely as they are, just simply aren’t true.

There wasn’t deep snow in Bethlehem when Jesus was born (The First Noel), and when Jesus was a baby, I am sure he cried when he was wet, hungry or upset.  The three wise men didn’t arrive at the manger hours after Jesus was born. Poetic license allows for these pictures to remain in our collective psyche to form a sweet narrative about the birth of Jesus.

I will keep singing these carols not because they contain actual true statements, but because they are traditional reminders- culture carriers if you will- that Jesus came to earth as a baby to start his redemptive mission.

Let’s remember that Jesus humbled himself to become a human being, and to have a life filled with all the physical and emotional anguish that life can bring. He can relate to us in every way. He cried when he was hurt, he had to grow in wisdom of relationships, and he had to be taught and encouraged by those who loved him.

Yet his mission was special and God-ordained. Only he could do it. And he chose to do it because of his great love for us.

Prayer: Lord, how can we thank you for the gift we celebrate at Christmas! Amen

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah,
out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel,
whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.”                                                      Micah 5:2

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts     Isaiah 55:8-9

Once again, we see how the smallest and least significant of places, Bethlehem, becomes the ancestral place of the birth of Jesus. The Bible is replete with upside-down explanations.

Young David, the least honored of his clan, becomes the King of Israel and leader of a mighty nation. Then he becomes part of the lineage of Jesus. Jacob, the second born twin (Esau’s brother) also becomes an ancestor in the chosen lineage of Jesus. Then of course, there are the scorned women- Rahab, Ruth, Tamar, and Bathsheba, all of whom had stories not expected in a royal lineage.

The list goes on. Unexpected people who play a major role in a holy story- because the story is one of a savior who does not find race, ethnicity, wealth, privilege or bloodline to be a preferential value in his Kingdom economy.

Ah, but we have corrupted the story, right?  We are “respecters of persons”. We rank privilege and race as demarcations of preference. We think that because of heritage, perhaps we have a corner on the truth.

Let’s remember that the last shall be first, and first shall be last. What appears right to mankind is not always the way God sees things. Remember the principle of paradox. God’s economy differs from ours. The beginning of wisdom is humility- the humility to know that God’s plans and ways are higher than ours…  

Prayer: Lord, gives us wisdom to be able to see your way, Amen

During the Christmas season, we are often asked, “What do you want for Christmas?” A good question, and one that we also ask of our children and grandchildren. Of course, as we age, we get much more joy in giving than receiving gifts. Yet we also recognize that it gives joy to others to give gifts to us. Others want to surprise us, or think of that “perfect gift” in order to make us happy. What a wonderful set of circumstances this Christmas season brings!

This also gives me pause to consider what things I really need for Christmas. No, I do not need anything material, thankfully. What I want is for my wife, my kids and my grandkids to be happy. That is really the large consideration for parents and grandparents around the world.

As for material things, yes, they can be fun. Generally, however, people would much prefer experiences over material gifts. That is why cruises, trips, and vacations are so popular in our affluent culture. In an affluent culture, luxuries become necessities, and expectations are raised for givers and receivers.

So, during this Christmas season, revel in the joy you give to others through gifts or great experiences. Of course, we all need to remember that the best present is presence. That is the most remarkable gift of all.

Prayer: Lord, you gave us the gift of your Son’s presence and we are grateful, Amen

 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things                                                                                    Philippians 4:8

“It’s all in what you are looking for”. That is what I tell my clients at times. If you are looking for reasons to see the good in someone, you can probably find it. On the other hand, if you are looking for reasons to be upset with someone, you can find that too. The question is, what will you decide to do? We have a choice in how we decide to look at others.

I am not saying to be naïve in how we interact with others. We live in a world of internet scams, phishing, and heaven knows how many other nefarious schemes out there to separate us from our money. There are plenty of bad actors in the world. But most people are not.

However, when it comes to relationships with people to whom we are close, it is a good practice to look for the best in them, not the worst. I talk to couples about ascribing best motives to their partner. Look for the best in the person you decided to trust.

You will likely find it.

Prayer: Lord, help us to extend grace to those around us, Amen

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, Philippians 2:3

I was recently talking with a client who struggles with feeling lovable. This has been a long-standing issue with her, and it was complicated by a traumatic sexual assault many years ago. She still struggles with her self-acceptance, and she has trouble seeing herself as a person of value. She felt unlovable.

She is, of course, a person of great value and worth. I pointed out to her one of the characteristics of her value in this way. She has a great desire to serve others and to give them joy. She works in various volunteer activities, and she serves home-cooked meals to families who are food insufficient. I pointed out that she performs behaviors of service, which are really good things. But beyond that, she has the desire to give others joy. That is character.

Doing good things for people is good behavior. Wanting to do good things for others is good character. I pointed out to her that she has good character, not just benevolent behaviors. She gradually saw that these are characteristics of a good and valuable person- one who is indeed lovable.

Many people struggle with feeling lovable and of value. We are of value because we are made in the image of our Creator. We display character when we desire to serve others in order for them to have joy and a sense of being loved.

Prayer: Lord, help us to love others as you us, Amen

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things                                                                                                                                                                   Philippians 4:8

What is the deadliest animal in the world in terms of human deaths caused? Is it sharks? Maybe snakes? How about scorpions or spiders? Well, you can add up all the deaths caused by all of the above animals, multiply it by a thousand or so, and you are still not close to the biggest killer.

Mosquitos.

Yes, mosquitos are responsible for about 2.7 million human deaths each year, and about 500 million mosquito borne illnesses. Yeah, they are deadly, not to mention completely annoying. But mostly those of us in the Northern Hemisphere just find them annoying. People in the Southern Hemisphere, especially children, find them to be deadly.

I was watching a documentary on NOVA (PBS) the other evening about the search for a malaria vaccine. The scientists, doctors, researchers, and human aid groups have been diligently searching for a malaria vaccine for decades, and in October, 2023, one was approved by the World Health Organization. I was captured by the reactions of the scientists.

They wept.

I write this because I saw the reactions of these heroic workers when the vaccine trials showed effectiveness. Spent of emotional energy from years of frustration, they wept and celebrated as they anticipated the millions of children, especially children in Africa, that would be spared the devastation of malaria.   

Mostly these days, we are inundated by the news of inhumane actions of evil in Ukraine, Gaza, and many other places. I can get pretty downcast by the cruel actions of humans toward other humans. But in this Christmas season, I was looking for uplifting stories. Stories of people who love their fellow man and work for the best interests of humankind.

They are all around us to be sure if we are looking. We just need to remind ourselves to look.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the loving kindness we see in others when we look, Amen

But when the fulness of the time was come, God sent forth his Son, made of a woman, made under the law…          Galatians 4:4

The Christmas season is upon us, and I do love this time of year! I sit writing this blog listening to Josh Groban Christmas music. I look out the window at 4PM EST, and it is already starting to get dark. That’s the thing about my latitude and longitude here in North America. It starts to get dark really early as we approach Christmas.  

That paves the way for an abundance of artificial lights as we decorate for the season. I strung my outdoor lights weeks ago when the weather was a bit more favorable. I lit them just before Thanksgiving- yes, I rush the season. You see at my age, I really don’t know how many more Christmases I’ll get to enjoy. I’m not trying to be maudlin or pessimistic, I am just looking at the reality of the situation. Actually, it makes me cherish every Christmas, indeed every day, more fully.

Given the contentious nature of our culture these days, the Christmas season is a brief respite of joy and hope in a suffering, and often angry world. Today also happens to be the first Sunday of Advent. This Christmas season, this Advent, take pause to cherish each day. We are counting down to Christmas Day, the birthday of Jesus. Celebrate it!

On another happy note, willkommen to my newest German readers! I am so encouraged by your presence!

Prayer: Lord, help us to cherish each day, especially as we celebrate the birth of your son, Jesus.

We felt we were doomed to die and saw how powerless we were to help ourselves; but that was good, for then we put everything into the hands of God, who alone could save us, for he can even raise the dead. II Corinthains 1:9

Often when I speak with clients, and they appear to be angry, or if I ask them how they are feeling, they may say, “I’m not angry, I’m just frustrated!” It is interesting that we would rather not identify a feeling we are having as anger- we label it as something else. I suppose it is more acceptable to be feeling frustrated than feeling angry.

I often explain to my clients that frustration is actually a combination of anger plus the perceived loss of power. So, frustration is a little more complex than just anger. It actually is somehow worse, because we also then feel unable to go about acting on the difficult situation we may be in.

Sometimes it helps if we can more clearly identify the complex feelings we are having. We can own the idea that we are angry, and we can also clarify that we also are feeling helpless at the time. Usually, we are not totally helpless. There are things that we can do so that we feel more agency in directing ourselves or regulating our emotions. Indeed, sometimes it is merely acceptance of the fact that we cannot do anything to change our current situation. However, we can decide to accept our situation, and that in itself gives us some sense of having the ability to make the decision to accept.  

This reminded me of Viktor Frankl, who famously said of his Nazi captors- “They may control everything about my situation, but they cannot control my attitude about it.”

Prayer: Lord, help us when we feel powerless, knowing that you are always in control, Amen

Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.                                                  Matthew 5:48

In thinking about the words of Jesus that we should “be perfect”, like the heavenly Father, I recognize that this is an aspirational goal. Interesting that Jesus invokes this message right after he tells us to love our enemies. How in the world can we do these things?

I believe that he is saying that we need to be on the road to perfection. You know, this side of heaven, we will never be perfect. But it is important to be on that road to perfection. As long as we are taking the right road, we can get to our destination. Yes, there may be potholes, and detours, traffic jams, wrong turns, etc. But as long as we are on the right road, we will eventually get to where we want to go- as long as we persevere.

Being on that right road is following the teachings and examples of Jesus. Having humility, loving others, recognizing that without Jesus we can do none of those things- that is the road to follow.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for giving us Jesus as the guide to the right road, Amen

For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son so that anyone who believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life                                                                      John 3:16 (Living Bible)

Here it is, the day after Thanksgiving and this is the unofficial start of the Christmas season! Yes, I know, the unofficial start of Christmas season may actually start from the day after Halloween, but let’s just say that it starts today. The “official” start should be the first Sunday of Advent which is coming this Sunday.  

As many of my readers, I love the Christmas season. It celebrates the coming of God to earth in the form of his son, Jesus. This Incarnation (in the flesh) visit to the earth is an amazing indication of God’s love for his people.

We take this opportunity as a human society to make merry in so many ways. We give gifts, we sing songs, we have parties, we decorate homes, and even illuminate cities with lights. It is a festive time indeed!

Indeed, our celebrations go far beyond the humble beginnings of the arrival of the Savior of the world. Yet, I don’t get too bothered by the fact that the culture has appropriated a holy, miraculous event and made it a worldly, marketing holiday. People need to set aside a time of year to show kindness to one another, and to take some time out of hectic schedules to ensure that they connect with friends and family in a special way.

As long as we remember that the coming of Jesus is the reason for the celebration, I think we’ll be OK.

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for the season to celebrate the incarnation of your son to a needy world, Amen