For Abraham will certainly become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth will be blessed through him.                                                                                                                                                          Genesis 18:18

Abraham was one of the Old Testament patriarchs who is used to exemplify a temperament. Temperament is another way of saying how we are basically wired from birth. Abraham is an example of the Phlegmatic Temperament. Some illustrations of Abraham clarify this view.

Abraham was a very trusting man, one who obeyed God when he was called to a foreign land where he knew no one, and where he must leave his family and tribe behind. Once, when he was in a bit of a land dispute with his nephew Lot, Abraham tried to settle the differences by offering Lot whichever part Lot wanted. “If you want the east, I will take the west, if you want the west, I will take the east.”

Later, when he and his wife Sarah traveled to Egypt, Abraham told the Pharaoh that Sarah was his sister (a technicality, but not exactly the truth), which saved him from destruction, but landed Sarah in Pharaoh’s harem.

Abraham, when tested by God in being asked to sacrifice his son Isaac, he did not hesitate to follow that incredible ask. God rewarded his faith with a miracle of redemption which was an image of the sacrifice of Jesus for us.

Abraham was a peacemaker. The Phlegmatic Temperament seeks peace and harmony- a wonderful trait, and one you want on your team. That strength however, if not managed, can cause a problem- one might sacrifice truth for peace.

Phlegmatics are team players whose goal is cooperation. They do not care for conflict, and they simply want the team to succeed. They might come across as cool and aloof because they do not burn hot- they bank their fire so as to conserve energy. They typically are more introverted, and will gladly join the party- when invited to do so.

I like to think of the Phlegmatic Temperament like the chemical catalyst platinum. When platinum is added to certain chemical reactions, it speeds up the process dramatically, but it then precipitates out of the solution, not ending up in the new product. Phlegmatics make the process go better, but they do not seem to be as involved as the other temperament types. Phelgmatics are more observers of the action than participants in it sometimes.

Abraham was a trusting, gracious man who loved peace and harmony more than material goods. He would choose family over wealth and possible conflict.

Gotta love Abraham!

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the example of Abraham and his love for you and his trust in you, Amen.

So, God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.                                                                                                                                                           Genesis 1:27

I had the opportunity to talk with a client recently about her sense of humor. As we talked, it became evident that this gift arose out of the pain of a somewhat negative self-image. It was her way to divert others away from getting to know the real person inside who was insecure and hurting.  Some of this lowered esteem came from body-image issues from when she was a girl.

I see this often from both men and women. Our Western culture heavily influences women to be very body conscious, and that emphasis can transcend into a negative overall image problem. Indeed, body image comes into play with men as well. I have had many male clients who, while of essentially normal size, see themselves as that husky pre-teen whom others taunted as “fatty” or some such adolescent moniker.

It is funny how the image of our body becomes the definition of how we perceive ourselves. Somewhere in our head, we are still that husky adolescent who was wounded by the words or actions of others. Or maybe, we were the ones ourselves who were the ones giving negative feedback to ourselves.

The truth is we need to be able to see, to remind ourselves, that we are made in the Imago Dei – the image of God. Our soul and spirit are the things that last. Our bodies?

Well, we know what eventually happens to them.

Prayer: Lord, help us to remember that we are made in your image, Amen

God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.                                                                                           Psalm 46:1

That phrase always leads to a story, so here is a story!

When I was young (yes, there was a time), I was involved in a rollover car wreck. I was 22 years old, and in my 1969 Rambler American. I had with me two young women. All three of us were in the front bench seat of the car. For those familiar with a Rambler American, it was a compact car. It was also a pretty generic and modest vehicle, fit for economy in all ways. Comfort or style? – not so much.

By the way, the young women in the car were my girlfriend, (now my wife of 51+ years), Deb, and her best friend Valerie. Of course, Deb was comfortably close to me in the front seat, and Valerie was perhaps not so comfortably sitting next to the passenger side door. We were, however, enjoying our ride from Oxford, Ohio to Dayton, Ohio.

That evening, it was raining, and the frugal owner of the car had managed to neglect the fact that the tires were in need of replacement. Money was tight, always, and tires cost maybe $25 or $30 apiece! I mean, whitewalls and steel belted radials were out of the question. But I digress- the tires were pretty bald.

As we approached a curve on a country road near Gratis, Ohio, I was going too fast for weather conditions (did I mention that I was 22 years old and had two young women in the car?). The nearly inevitable accident happened when I ran up the side of an embankment and the car seemed to stop and then slowly roll over.

So, here we are, upside down in the middle of a country road, rain coming down, not a light within sight, and on a curve where any car coming around the bend would easily smash into our helpless Rambler, which was sitting like a stranded turtle.

So here is the part where God does things for us that we can’t do for ourselves. As we sat in the car crawling around in the car’s interior (of course we did not have seat belts on), the next car that came upon us was the Preble County Sheriff. He ensured that traffic was stopped, helped us out of the car (which for all we knew might explode or erupt in flames), and took care of three scared and bewildered college kids.

Injuries were remarkably minimal. Valerie had a cut on her knee, Deb had a few bumps and scrapes, and I had some slivers of glass in my eyes from the shattered windshield. Valerie’s boyfriend from Dayton came and took us to Miami Valley Hospital where we were treated in the Emergency Room and released.

We often look back on this story as a provision from God that could literally have saved our lives. Often such interventions happen and we are not even aware of God’s provision for us.

This is one of those times that it was pretty obvious.

Prayer: Thank you, Lord for your presence in times of need, Amen

So, we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.                                                                      I John 4:16

I recently spoke with a client who shared that he feels inadequate, and that he doesn’t matter. He knows spiritually and intuitively that this is not true, but he struggles with the negativity that it brings to him regularly. We also talked about his relationship with God, and the struggle he has with “pleasing God” vs. simply “trusting God.”

Trying so hard to please God was like his efforts to please an abusive and distant father. His father is long ago passed away, but the concept of pleasing a father who was not able to be pleased affects this man’s view of God.

As we talked, it became clearer to this man how differently God loves us than a human father does. We human fathers will inevitably fail at some aspect of parenting no matter how hard we try. But we need to be reminded that God’s love for us is transcendent, and it is not based upon performance.   

So, take heart fathers. You do the best you can, and you are probably doing much better than you think at being a dad. The best thing you can do is remind your kids that God loves them more that you do- and you love your kids a lot!

Prayer: Lord, you have loved us with an everlasting love- what a gift! Amen

Like a city whose walls are broken through
    is a person who lacks self-control.                                                                      Proverbs 25:28

Do you remember when politicians disagreed but didn’t call each other names? Do you recall a time when the prevailing motivator of political differences was passion, but not hate and anger?

I do.

I miss those times when people of character could disagree, heartily, passionately and vigorously, yet did not stoop to name calling. We expect our elected leaders to show some character and leadership. We take some degree of comfort knowing that those who may hold the highest offices can actually discipline themselves. Self-discipline seems to be a lost trait. If a person cannot control him/herself, how can they expect to lead others?

I often talk to clients about how the Bible talks about self-discipline. The writer of Proverbs stated that a person who cannot control themself is as defenseless as a city with broken down walls. In those times, a city with broken walls was defenseless and vulnerable to any and all attacks from enemies. That, of course, was a terrible situation.

If we are being led by people who have no self-discipline, we too are in a terrible situation.  

Prayer: Lord, we look to you for our protection in perilous times, Amen

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?                                                            Matthew 6:26

As I sit writing this blog entry, I am listening to the songs of birds. That is a pleasant experience all by itself. It is even more encouraging that, while I listen to those birds, my blood pressure is likely a bit lower, my cortisol levels have dropped, and my mood is just that much better. How do I know that? Well, it is a personal experience, but it is also backed by several studies, which show the beneficial effect of listening to birds’ songs.

Yes, walking in nature, listening to birds’ songs, is a significant way to elevate mood, lower anxiety, and promote a sense of well-being. The walking in the sunlight part is just added benefit in keeping blood sugar levels in check, enhancing blood flow, and strengthening lung capacity.

As regular readers know, I am prescriptive to my clients about regular exercise. Now we add the benefit of walking outdoors and listening to the sounds of bird songs, which has been clinically proven to have beneficial effects on mental health.

So, even if you are not physically able to do the walk, try to be in a place where you can hear the birds sing.

It is good for body and soul.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us healing in so many places in your Creation, Amen.

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.  Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.                                                                                             II Corinthians 9:6-7

Since the start of the “drive-up window” of fast foods, there has existed this great phenomenon whereby a person in line at the pay window tells the cashier to charge him/her for the bill of the person in the car directly behind. This giving chain can last for dozens of cars at times, and it generates a sense of goodwill that lasts for a long time. It often has a carryover effect that results in more positivity toward others, a more hopeful outlook, and a sense of satisfaction for the giver (who, in this case, may also be a receiver).

An even better variant of this “pay it forward” plan, involves picking out someone, (or ideally, a family) in a restaurant and discretely telling the server that you would like to arrange to pay the bill for that family- anonymously.

This blesses the giver, the recipient, and the waiter/waitress- especially if the donor includes a generous tip for the server. This whole process reminded me about the levels of charity set forth centuries ago by the Jewish philosopher, Moses Maimonides.

Maimonides, a Sephardic Jewish philosopher from the 12^th century, defined eight levels in giving charity (tzedakah), each one higher than the preceding one. On an ascending level, they are as follows:

8. When donations are given grudgingly.

7. When one gives less than he should, but does so cheerfully.

6. When one gives directly to the poor upon being asked.

5. When one gives directly to the poor without being asked.

4. Donations when the recipient is aware of the donor’s identity, but the donor still doesn’t know the specific identity of the recipient.

3. Donations when the donor is aware to whom the charity is being given, but the recipient is unaware of the source.

2. Giving assistance in such a way that the giver and recipient are unknown to each other. Communal funds, administered by responsible people are also in this category.

1. The highest form of charity is to help sustain a person before they become impoverished by offering a substantial gift in a dignified manner, or by extending a suitable loan, or by helping them find employment or establish themselves in business so as to make it unnecessary for them to become dependent on others. Anonymous giving is a blessing, and Maimonides identified the value of things like United Way long before such organizations existed. Giving is good for the giver, a plan that is central to our faith.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the plan to provide for one another. It is good for all of your creation, Amen

All things continue the way they have been since the beginning.

What has happened will happen again;

there is nothing new here on earth.

Ecclesiastes 1:9

This is a picture of the “Maggie Tree”. This time of year, it blossoms and it reminds me of our dear Maggie, our pet mixed breed (OK, mutt) dog whom we cared for and loved from 1988- 2005. She is buried under this tree. In fact, when I buried her, I planted the tree right on top of her. In this way, her body was the basis of the nutrients of this growing tree. It gives me some comfort to know that she still “lives” in this tree. Literally the molecules that comprised her are now living in this tree.

The beauty of creation is that there are no new molecules around. All the molecules that existed in the beginning of time are still with us. There is no new creation or destruction of matter- it simply takes a different form. Amazing right?

So, the cycle of life remains with us very closely. God has promised us that we matter, and we will continue to live with him, in some form, for eternity. What an amazing and comforting thought.

Prayer: Lord, your creation and plans are amazing, Amen

I recently spoke with a client about emotional check-ins during the day. It is a practice that I exercise regularly. Just like we need to have physical disciplines to maintain our physical health, we need emotional check-ins to maintain emotional health. Of course, we also need spiritual check-ins to keep our spiritual health fresh and alive.

The emotional check-ins are really simple. Periodically during the day, one just takes a moment alone, takes a deep breath or two to make a little break from whatever activity we are currently doing, and then we ask ourself, “What is going on with me right now?”

Am I feeling sad, angry, scared, stressed, lonely, grateful- whatever- and we get in touch with it. One must be completely honest and open with what is going on at the moment. Any feeling is just that- it is present at the moment. The feeling need not be negative, although it might be, and we must make room for that possibility.

As we acknowledge what we are feeling- and more than one thing is certainly possible- we accept it and allow ourselves that feeling. Once we acknowledge it, we can decide how we want to react to it. Honesty is the most important part of the exercise. If we are angry, we might want to explore what that is about. Maybe the anger is toward ourself. Maybe it is really fear that looks like anger. Maybe in the moment we don’t really know, but at least we are in touch with what is going on at the present time.

When I suggested this to my client, he admitted that he had never thought to do this, partly because he was more in the practice of checking in with others and how they felt. He agreed that this would be a good little exercise to keep him grounded and self-aware.   

So, just a quick little exercise that we can do to stay aware and healthy.

 How are you feeling?

Prayer: Lord, help us to take time to breathe and be aware of you and our own current state, Amen.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.
 The life of mortals is like grass, they flourish like a flower of the field;
 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.
 But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
 and his righteousness with their children’s children—with those who keep his covenant
 and remember to obey his precepts.

Psalm 103:13-18

I typically give homework to my clients as I have noted in this space in the past. Sometimes I will assign this passage from Psalm 103. What beauty and simplicity is found in this passage. I tell my clients that the Bible writers would often give analogies to teach about the character of God. We can only know of God through the senses, and the tools given to us to understand our world and our environment. Of course, the Spirit of God enlightens us as we give him the room to do so also.

This passage reminds us of God’s love for us – like we love our own children. We can relate to that. I especially like the idea that God knows how we are formed, and he has pity on us. He knows that we are like failed children sometimes, yet he has compassion for us, like we might for a four- year- old child who makes foolish mistakes at times.  God is not interested in shaming and humiliating us. Like a loving Father, he has compassion, grace and understanding.

Remember that.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for these simple reminders, Amen