Build houses and dwell in them; plant gardens and eat their fruit.  Take wives and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons and give your daughters to husbands, so that they may bear sons and daughters—that you may be increased there, and not diminished.  And seek the peace of the city where I have caused you to be carried away captive, and pray to the Lord for it; for in its peace you will have peace.                                                                                                                                                 Jeremiah 29:5-7

You may have noticed that I was gone this weekend and did not post a blog. I took a few days for R&R. Glad to be back with you. I wanted to share a little lesson from my time away…

I took this picture while on a weekend getaway in southeastern Ohio. I immediately thought of the verse in Jeremiah where the prophet, exiled in Babylon cried out to God about his plight. God replied to him, essentially, “Jeremiah, pray for the prosperity of the people around you- even that pagan city of Babylon, for as they prosper, you prosper.”

Even in the roughest, most hostile environment, this tree found a way to grow. It grew on a rock! So, the word for us is, don’t fret about your current circumstances, grow where you are planted!  

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.                                        Proverbs 17:22

I have discussed many times in this space the connection and correlation of mental, physical and spiritual dimensions of our life.  Each dimension affects the other in complex and mysterious ways sometimes.

I was recently listening to a podcast about the effects of isolation on general health. Some of the discussion centered around the effects of COVID-19 and the isolation it brought on due to quarantine orders and distancing rules during the pandemic.  It was no coincidence that during the pandemic, we became highly sensitized to the rise of mental illness in the world. As we became more isolated, stressed and hopeless, our mental health was adversely affected by the pandemic.  

One of the findings of research indicated that not only our mental health was affected. As loneliness and isolation became more numbingly prevalent, several health indicators also declined.

This led me to consider again the Broken Heart Syndrome. This condition is caused by acute stress, or loss of a loved one. The heart can literally begin to malfunction, and it can lead to death. Yes, people could actually die from a broken heart. Our emotional health is tied to our physical health in amazing and sometimes, frightening ways.

So, when the book of Proverbs talks about the heart, maybe it can mean both our physical heart as well as our soul and spirit.

Wow.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us connectional beings, so fragile in some ways, and so strong in others, Amen

 If you refuse criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept criticism, you are on the road to fame.            Proverbs 13:18 (Living Bible)

I was talking to clients in marriage counseling the other day, and I observed the interactions between them. Sometimes, our behaviors become so ingrained that they become invisible to us. In this particular case, the husband was talking to his wife about an issue where he wanted her to be involved in a venture with him. He felt that it was important, from a professional standpoint, that she join him in this venture.

As I reflected back on their interactions, I noted that her response was very hesitant and even a bit tearful. His tone in discussing her willingness to join him in this venture seemed like more of a command and an expectation. She felt like she didn’t have much of a choice in her answer.

I pointed this out to the husband, and he at first was a bit defensive, but then quickly understood my observation. He had essentially given her a command, not an invitation. Once he went back and explained what he really wanted, and why he wanted her involved in the venture, she was grateful, relieved and affirmed. The husband, is a really good guy- insightful, caring, thoughtful- but he needed an observation from outside that he had come across in a way that was not respectful to his wife. This kind of thing is not unusual. All of us fall into certain behaviors and patterns that can become invisible to us over time.

Sometimes the nuance of how we approach others for what we want is misinterpreted. Sometimes, our tone or language is perceived in ways we did not intend. Such things happen often.

In this situation, this husband’s willingness to see other ways that were better methods to communicate really carried the day. I really appreciated his humility and grace in receiving coaching, and I told him that.

Indeed, humility is the beginning of wisdom.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to keep a humble and teachable spirit, Amen

Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires                                                              James 3:4

I recently spoke with a client about homework that I had suggested for him to do. There were two or three things on the list, and he said that he would do all of them. I told him that his approach and willingness were commendable, but if he only did one of the new disciplines we had discussed, it would be great. In fact, I told him that if he only did one of the things we had discussed, and he would be regular in doing it, this would give traction to the others and make them easier to accomplish.

I take this to be a truth. When we find a little success in one small area, it can carry over to other areas which gives traction for further growth. Did you ever get stick in a ditch with your car? In trying to free the car, you often only need just a slight bit of dry, level area for the tire to bite, and when it does, you get the traction you need to pull the whole car out of the ditch.

So it is with new habits. If you just get a little bit of traction- a little success- you find that you get the momentum to “get out of the ditch”.

Prayer: Lord, we know that a little success can bring much joy and victory, Amen

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves    Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

…Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?                                       Job 2:10

Suffering. It is a part of the human experience. It is unavoidable, much as we try to avoid it. It is not a matter of if we will suffer, but when we will suffer. It is natural to try to avoid or minimize suffering, obviously, but it is unreasonable to think that we can simply completely avoid it.

So, as suffering is an inevitable travelling partner of human beings, it makes sense to have a philosophy of how we will approach suffering. Suffering comes in many flavors- physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, mental- in every way we can perceive the world- and often when one area is affected, all are affected.

Our attitude about suffering will be the indicator of how we survive it. As the great Viktor Frankl wrote “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” As a concentration camp survivor in World War II, Frankl was deeply acquainted with suffering. He understood that no matter what his Nazi captors could do to him, they could never control his mind and attitudes. That was under his control.

The famous Biblical sufferer, Job also had a great philosophy toward suffering. He said “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” He accepted that in this life, there is both joy and suffering, and that he could not blame God for the way this human experience on earth works.

Finally, we serve a God who chose to send his son to the earth to experience that very suffering that we all share. Jesus was a man “acquainted with grief” so that he could fully understand his creation.

So, my friends, we are joined in a fellowship of periodic suffering in our lifetime. The question is, how will we redeem it for good?

Prayer: Lord, you have given us resources to deal with suffering. Help us to use those resources wisely, Amen

 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well…                                                                                                                           James 2:8

I read a book a number of years ago by Ray Bakke, titled A Gospel as Big as the City. In this book, written in 1997, the author explains that the church must impact its community, and become, as he called it “a chaplain to its community”.

Chaplains provide spiritual and emotional care to people in times of need. They reach out to people who are hurting, marginalized and sometimes cast aside. They are on the “front lines” when people need help.

This resonated with me in a powerful way. Our church had opened New Creation Counseling Center in 1993 with the Care Pastor, Tom Sager, having the vision to undertake starting a Christian counseling center. The Center would operate with professional counselors and clinical interns, under the supervision of Linda Richards, an LPCC (Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor). The center provides care with a Christian orientation, but is open to all, and discriminates against none.  

This nascent effort grew until now it employs 14 clinical staff. The Center offers psychiatry, counseling services in 8 area schools, and counseling for disorders ranging from significant mood disorders, anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, marriage and family issues- the list goes on. All of this is done without denying treatment to people unable to pay the full cost of the services.

Our church has also led the way in providing support groups for divorce, grief issues, and a group for men with sexual addictions. There is a companion group for women affected by men with sexual addiction.

I lay this out because I think my church is acting truly like a chaplain to its community. In this day of people seeing the Christian Church (big C church, not necessarily local congregations) as a place that seems only to be railing against those in certain lifestyles, or being judgmental of people, my church is offering hope and healing.   

I am happy being part of a church that is a chaplain to our community.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the calling you have put on your Church- to help and heal the community, Amen

Do you want to be truly rich? You already are if you are happy and good.                                  I Timothy 3:6

Today was kind of a lazy day. I don’t do lazy days very well, and that is a flaw of mine, I think. We need some days when we do not need to end up with a “product” that we have produced. I sat by my pond and just pondered what was in front of me.

I watched my aged fish who has prospered in a pond where he/she is the dominator. I watched the frogs, the flowers, the birds, the squirrels, the chipmunks, the raindrops falling in their unique rhythm. I read my book and just chilled (after, of course doing my walking exercise- I mean, there are limits).

I was reminded of the song from 1967 by Spanky and Our Gang, Lazy Day. In fact, I went back to listen to that song and a few others from that era. Yes, I took the time to experience the moment.

I recommend the plan. It was a great lazy day.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the lazy days, Amen

Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid. Do I act for God? Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people.   Genesis 50:20 (The Message)

Wei-Ji is the transliteration of the Chinese word for “crisis.” It is composed of two words; Wei meaning “danger” and Ji meaning “opportunity”—hence the saying “Every crisis is an opportunity!” (Excerpted from Oxford University Press journal)

Never waste a good crisis. (Winston Churchill)

For many years I instructed caregivers at my church, a group called “Lay Pastors”. They did the pastoral work of the church with hospital visits, home visits, phone calls, counseling in the prayer room, leading support groups, etc. It was a wonderful, dedicated group that did great work.

One of the lessons that we taught was about Crisis Management. One of the metaphors that we took from the Stephen Ministry Manual was a picture of a triangle. When the triangle rests on its base, it is stable- in fact, it is the most stable engineering shape. However, when a crisis happens, it is like the triangle is tipped on its point. It is very unstable, and inevitably will fall on one side or another to regain stability. The crisis, while upsetting and fraught with possible danger to our security, will eventually resolve. But which way will the triangle tip?

This is the point of opportunity. When the crisis resolves- the triangle flops on one side or another. Here is where we have some input. Based upon our reaction to the crisis, and the decisions we make, we can fall into a chronic depressive or hopeless state, or we can have a new beginning- a new way to solve problems or perhaps see the world.

So, while we try to avoid crises, naturally, there is also opportunity for new growth. Forest fires, for example can bee seen as a crisis. However, they are necessary for the renewal of the forest. Under most circumstances, the fire can cause a good outcome.

So, my friends, a crisis is an opportunity if we can find ways to manage it well.

Prayer: Lord, I pray for those readers in crisis, that they may find an opportunity in the resolution, Amen

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”

G.K. Chesterton

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.                                                  Philippians 4:8 (The Message)

I recently came across this quote from G.K. Chesterton, and it rings true with one of my themes in life. The things that truly motivate us well, and consistently, are positive things. Motivations that come from fear, and desire to escape, can be powerful, but they are ultimately short lived and draining.  

In the long run, positive motivators give energy and zest to life. Motivators based upon fear and escape deplete energy, and can wreak havoc on our emotions and our body. Chronic stress depletes serotonin levels, and raises cortisol levels. Cortisol is a hormone involved in regulating our metabolism, blood pressure, immune response, weight control, and inflammation of body tissues.

When we are in a constant state of stress- such as is caused by fear and need to escape- we are damaging our bodies and minds. Some stress, of course is unavoidable. That is the price we pay for being human. Yet, if we can keep in mind positive motivators, and recognize the negative motivators, we have a choice of how we want to proceed.

Seeking the positive goal is the motivation that energizes us.

Prayer: Lord, help us to keep in mind what our true goals and motivators are, Amen

So Paul took his stand in the open space at the Areopagus and laid it out for them. “It is plain to see that you Athenians take your religion seriously. When I arrived here the other day, I was fascinated with all the shrines I came across. And then I found one inscribed, to the god nobody knows. I’m here to introduce you to this God so you can worship intelligently, know who you’re dealing with               Acts 17:22-23 (The Message)

These days, the popular culture in which we live often does not seem too receptive to the true message of Christianity. Why is that? Well, the message is not the problem. Usually, it is the messengers. It is the way that the Gospel message is delivered by Christians to those who are not claiming that same faith.

Paul approached an alien culture of polytheists by commending them on their spirituality! He recognized that they were seekers of God, and he, by the way, was intimately acquainted with that God through Jesus. He just wanted a chance to speak with them. In order to do that, he was respectful of their culture and beliefs, and he put forth his reasoning as to why the God of the universe, the Creator of all, was not bound by earthly temples.

Paul gained a hearing by being respectful, thoughtful, confident, and articulate about his beliefs. He did not ridicule his hosts or demean them. He shared his faith with reason and care. I always loved that Paul essentially said, “You have a statue to an unknown God, let me introduce you to him!”

So, the lesson for me is this. As we engage people about our faith, we must be courteous and respectful, not damning or judging others, but sharing with others the confidence we have that God loves them, and they may not yet know that.   

Great message, right?

Prayer: Lord, help us to be caring and respectful to all as we demonstrate your love for others, Amen.