Our pastor delivered his sermon from II Corinthians, and explained to us how we are ambassadors for God on earth. It reminded me of a teaching I did for our Lay Pastor community many years ago. I dusted it off to share today for your consideration…

These are essential attributes of a faithful ambassador:

Trustworthy. He/she will represent the interests of the sending authority– Remember who the Sending Authority is

• Has the full credit and authority of the sender– God has given us all that we need. Like Moses, our staff in our hand is enough! We don’t go in our own strength, but that of the King.

• Is empowered to act on behalf of the sending authority– God has chosen to limit Himself by sending us broken vessels to propagate the Kingdom on earth. He has empowered us to deliver the news of His love and salvation!

• Trusted not to exceed authority vested in her/him–We can do nothing without Christ, nor should we want to act outside our given authority. 

• Spreads good will on behalf of the sender– Our job is to win friends for the Kingdom, not win arguments. Judging others does not win friends!

• Understands the customs and culture of where he/she is sent– We are in a foreign land, but we need to respect the customs to gain a hearing.

• Understands the mission given by the sending authority– Our mission is to love people into the Kingdom, to reflect the loving nature of God.

• Speaks with the authority of the president/leader– God has given us Truth as the standard so we speak the truth in love to others. We speak the truth boldly toe who do not understand it.

• Maintains close, regular communication with the sending authority We can do nothing without prayer as a connection to our Sender

• Citizenship remains in the sending country– Remember who we are and whose we are. Our citizenship is in the Kingdom of God.

• Must learn to understand and affiliate with foreign assignment without losing sight of the mother country and citizenship. In the world, but not of it…

• Helps to protect the interests of fellow citizens in a foreign land– Above all we must tend to the needs of brothers or sisters in Christ as we journey this world together.

Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience that can have a profound physical and emotional impact on a person. It can be caused by a single event, such as a car accident or a natural disaster, or by repeated exposure to stressful or traumatic situations, such as child abuse or domestic violence.                                                                                                       Dr. Mayank Saxena

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.                                           I Peter 3:8

I spoke with some clients recently who experienced trauma fairly early in their lives. Now, years later, they still report the lingering effects of those early traumatic events. We know that trauma literally changes the way that our brain processes information. It is not uncommon to have some dissociative effects during the trauma event, and even many years later.

Why does this happen? I don’t know. Perhaps neurologists and other specialists in brain functioning may have an explanation. What I do know is that trauma is a baffling thing. What constitutes trauma for each of us may also be very different. Trauma can be a physical event, a psychological event, or an emotional event- or all three.

We all know of someone who has experienced trauma to the point of having the diagnosis PTSD. Indeed, as I write this, hundreds of thousands of people, perhaps millions of people, in the world are living with daily traumatic events.

As we consider the behavior we experience from others, we may not often pause to think about what events may be informing their behavior. So, think about the story that others may live, and what they have experienced. People live with trauma that is often not shared with others.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to pause and think of the stories that others may silently carry, Amen

To answer before listening is foolish and shameful.

Proverbs 18:13

I have had several clients this week who have suffered with anxiety, as well as grief, and I noted once again that just having someone really hear the pain that they are in is a start to their healing. Sometimes, clients are dismissed by others, who sometimes have good intentions, by responses like, “just let it go”, or “you take things too seriously”.

People with anxiety know that they need to let things go, and that they do overthink. What they need is understanding, validation of the pain, and then some solid support from those that care for them.

Just getting into the space that people who have clinical anxiety live in can be a start to healing. They can be encouraged that they will learn to control their anxiety- that they can manage this monster in their life. I let people know that the anxiety simply won’t “go away”, but that with some time and tools, and perhaps medication, they will be able to manage the anxiety, and they will learn to control the anxiety- the anxiety won’t control them.

So, my friends, good empathic listening is a wonderful healing tool. We all have more power to heal than we realize.

Prayer: Lord, you have given the gift of healing to all of us in some forms. Help us to see that gift, Amen

 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?”

 So He said, “I will certainly be with you. And this shall be a sign to you that I have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain.”                                        Exodus 3:11-12

I spoke recently with a client about her difficult marriage. She was very upset that her husband was not really paying attention to what she needs and asks of him. Her husband told her that he loved her, but his actions did not reflect a willingness to do things for her that he saw as “uncomfortable”. She told him that mere words do not help how she feels about being isolated and minimalized.

She very much wanted his approval, and she was frustrated that she cannot change the way he looks at her or their marriage. I suggested to the client that she could make changes that will help her rather than waiting for her husband to make changes. This is especially important because she does not have the ability to change his behavior. She can only change hers.

I certainly understand where this client was coming from. She was hurt and frustrated and she wanted things to change. The problem is that if there is going to be change, she is the one who can make the changes that will give her a sense of validation. First, however, she needs to see her own self-worth. It cannot be dependent upon her husband.

We often look for behavior changes in others that might make us feel better- validated, worthwhile, even loved. Yet, we have in our hands the tools to improve our own lives. When Moses met God at the “burning bush” and God told Moses that he would be the one to lead the Israelites out of Egyptian captivity, Moses quickly declined, saying that he did not have the ability for such a task.

God’s response was to tell Moses in no uncertain terms that he had, “all that he needed in his hand”- his shepherd’s staff. Read the story as I cited above in Exodus chapter 3, and you will see that God seemed to get frustrated with Moses and his lack of self- confidence as well as his lack of trust that God would cover him in whatever he undertook.

I think the lesson for me is this –

You have all that you need in your hand; trust God and use it.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see that you empower us to do the things that will give us assurance and hope, Amen

Then Jesus turned to the Jews who had claimed to believe in him. “If you stick with this, living out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you.”                                                                               John 8:32 (The Message)

I recently spoke with a client about her anxiety. It had been exacerbated over the past few years by a domestic violence scenario whereby she had to be in a heightened state of alertness to protect herself and her young children. She has been out of that marriage for a couple of years, but she still states that she “overthinks things” and cannot sleep well. Little things are blown out of proportion, and she has a hard time not seeing herself as “damaged goods”.

I pointed out to her that her anxiety, at one time, served a somewhat protective service for her. She was hyperalert and vigilant in the past because she had to be for herself and her children. It was protective. Now that state of vigilance and hyper-alertness was causing problems. It was affecting other areas of her life.

After some discussion, she was able to see that she tended to project her own feelings onto others, believing that she was not accepted or acceptable. She had trouble accepting positive feedback, because her anxiety always “whispered to her” that she was inadequate and somehow broken.

The truth is that she is amazingly resilient, courageous, and very successful in her career. She is gradually being able to hear the truth about herself, and that is a wonderful thing to behold.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see things in us that others do- that you do-

 Amen

 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband.                                                            Ephesians 5:29-33 (The Message)

In putting together a workshop on partner counseling, I came up with a few things I will share with my readers…

I like to approach all my counseling work from a strengths-based perspective. We all have gifts and strengths from birth, and we exercise those strengths in our daily life and relationships. The very strengths and gifts which draw people to their partners are the very ones that drive each other crazy some years later. Aren’t we just a confounding creation?

We need to give hope to couples who are seeking our help. They may have lost hope for their relationship, but we as counselors can offer them hope for a better life and relationship.

Humor can deflect escalating tensions in relationships. We need to be able to laugh at our own foibles and quirks.

As much as possible, we as counselors need to affirm our clients, recognize their work, and tell them that we know the counseling process is sometimes not easy, but it is worth it.

Just some thoughts for today from a counselor’s perspective.

Prayer: Lord, give strength to relationships that are struggling at this time, Amen

Luke chapter 15

I do love the Book of Luke, possibly my favorite Bible book. Luke captures Jesus as a great storyteller. Those stories indicate the love that Jesus has for those that are lost. He talks about lost sheep, lost coins, and finally a lost son in Luke chapter 15.

These parables were related for a reason. Luke knew that Jesus would want no one to be lost and wandering alone, so he recounted those parables that Jesus told. We are familiar with these stories- they are redemption stories. That which has been lost is found and restored.

In some ways, we all get lost at times, and are wandering alone it may feel. Take heart in the stories that Jesus told. You are not alone. Jesus is always looking for you. Sometimes he does that through friends, relatives, even strangers. Always be open to being found when you are wandering alone.

Jesus would have it that way.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for pursuing us when we are lost, Amen

Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life; don’t for a minute lose sight of them. They’ll keep your soul alive and well, they’ll keep you fit and attractive. You’ll travel safely, you’ll neither tire nor trip. You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry, you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep. No need to panic over alarms or surprises, or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner, Because God will be right there with you; he’ll keep you safe and sound.                                                                                Proverbs 3:21-26 (The Message)

Funny, or maybe not so funny, how others can see things in us that we cannot see in ourselves. I have had occasion several times this week to reflect to clients some positive traits that are almost invisible to the client themselves.

For one client I gave the visual analogy of my hand directly in front of my face so that all I could see was my hand. That, I said, (my hand) were the failures and missed objectives that he could see. His range of vision was blocked by the things he had missed on. As I drew my hand out further, I had a larger field of view, and I told him that if he can look beyond the things that he might have missed, there were a larger number of things that he had successfully accomplished.

As we get perspective, we can better see the whole field of behaviors that had been blocked by a narrow and blocked analysis. In fact, this client had been working almost heroically to care for an aging mother with cognitive decline. In his view, it was never enough. In my view, it was selfless caring.

I suggested that my view was a bit clearer since I had an objective picture, untainted by negative self-talk. Gradually, the client began to understand that perhaps his view was incomplete. Not totally in error or wrong, just incomplete. Sometimes, we just need a fresh look at things so that our picture becomes more complete.

What say you?

Prayer: Lord, help us to hear the input of others when our view might be inadequate, Amen

 For God has bought you with a great price. So use every part of your body to give glory back to God because he owns it.                                                                                                                                                            I Corinthians 6:20

Funny thing, pride. It is the original, and I would suggest, the only sin. All other sins, problems, errors, failures- whatever you might want to call them- come from pride. Pride is about making sure that I am the center of my universe. The needs, rights, and well-being of others follow after my place being secured. I can take care of myself, and I do not need anyone else to tell me what to do. To its extreme, it says that the rules don’t exactly apply to me like they do other people.

This description does not sound very flattering, does it? Yet, to some degree, we all fall into that mindset somewhere. Certainly not all the time, and not in all situations to be sure. Indeed, we humans are capable of some incredible altruistic thinking and behaviors. Yet at our core, we need the intervention of the Creator to redeem us to health.

Essentially, when it comes to our relationship with God, we need to recognize our inability to save ourselves by virtue of our good behavior. Recognition of God and his son, Jesus, as the remedy for our sins is the key to health and salvation.

Much like the addict who comes to realize in his 1^st step that his/her best efforts got them to a place of powerlessness, we all need to take the humility step in order to be fully free. That means that we accept that we alone do not have the answer to all life’s problems, and that we need help to navigate our life.

Self-forgiveness (or lack of it, more properly) is an example of how insidious pride is. People sometimes take offense when I point out the pride in failing to forgive one’s self for sins and errors that have sidetracked us. I point out that they would forgive others for offenses, but they do not forgive themselves for some reason. “Are the rules different for you than for other people?” I ask.

Yeah, pride is a funny thing…

Prayer: Lord, you have given us the remedies for pride. Help us to see our need for your plans, not ours, Amen

The greatest love a person can show is to die for his friends.                                           John 15:13

As we in the United States enter into the Memorial Day weekend, my thoughts turn to the character and courage of those who have defended their country in the military services. Most countries have some kind of way to recognize those who have given their lives in service to their country.

I was reminded of the service given to the United States by President Harry S. Truman as we visited his library and museum in Independence, Missouri recently. He served with distinction in World War I as an artillery commander. Later, he was elected to the U.S. Senate, and assumed the Presidency upon the death of Franklin Roosevelt in 1945.

He was a man of honor and candor. He had courage and convictions, and was willing to do the very hardest things in the service of his country. While he did not die on the battlefield, he devoted his life in the service of his country.

Many people have served this country with courage and honor. Many also have died doing that very thing.

I salute them all on this Memorial Day weekend.