Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! It is amazing to think about. Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it.                                                                                                             Psalm 139:14

Just a quick note today as I complete my client records. I am struck once again by the resilience of my clients, and the life stresses they endure. The human spirit is both fragile and strong at the same time. Often, I am struck by the strength that my clients show in the face of some very difficult traumas and life stresses.

My friends, I do not know what you are facing, but I know that you likely have the strength and resilience to handle whatever you face, because the human spirit is made just that way. As God said to Moses at the burning bush, “You have everything you need in your hand…”

Prayer: Lord, bless my readers today to remind them clearly of the strength that they have, Amen

A cheerful heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit makes one sick         Proverbs 17:22

I told my kids it does our hearts good to see our family acting the way they do toward one another. It just happened coincidentally that on the same day our son flew to Kansas City to see his older sister, our oldest grandson flew to Colorado to see his younger sister. Seeing the pictures that they sent – the warm smiling faces of their joy of being together- did our hearts good!  

Later, I began to think what it would be like if my parents could see this reunion of their grandchildren and great-grandchildren?  Wilder still, what if my grandmother and grandfather (the ones that I knew in my lifetime), could have seen this? They could not, I’m sure, conceive of this prospect. Their progeny, decades after they are gone from this earth, still carrying on the loving family connections that they had carried on from their ancestors in their own way.  

Well, the point is, such connections of our children, and their children, is such a joy. I wanted to share this, dear readers, as a reminder of our need for legacy. We are building legacies with our actions in our families. Stop and think of how powerful that is. Think about 50 or 75 years from now when perhaps those people in similar pictures will look back at you and say, “I wonder what they would have thought about this…”

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the blessing of family, Amen

Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done. Proverbs 19:17

So, how inspiring is it that the book of Proverbs is explaining the nature and character of God in this way? In the days when that book was being compiled, the current way of relating to a god was a very transactional process. People would find a deity who was the giver of certain gifts (fertility, good crops, health etc.) and, should one make sacrifices to that god, they might be rewarded. There were even societies that made child sacrifices to the god Molech to appease this evidently angry and powerful being.   

Then you have the one true God worshipped by the ancient Hebrews who gave them a moral code that looked quite different. The true God, Yahweh, said that if his people took care of the poor, it was like lending to him, and he would reward those who cared for the “least of the brethren” in the community.

That is still a concept that is true. In the New Testament, there are dozens of assertions that one loves God by loving others. That is a radical concept. Yet, when you think about it, why would anyone want to follow any other Supreme Being? We worship the one who loves those that society discards and marginalizes.

That is all the Truth I need.

Prayer: Lord, what a plan to have us love you by loving your creation, Amen

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.                                                           Romans 12:9-13 (NIV)

In reading the book of Romans, I see that the writer, Paul, encourages us to “honor one another.” One of the things that is so remarkable about the Bible is that it is a book which gives excellent instructions for how we should treat one another. While it is a guide to understanding God and his creation, and his relationship to that creation, it also is very practical advice for how to truly survive in a world that is not always easy to navigate.

In this passage, Paul is reminding believers that they are to honor one another. That is, we are to show respect for one another by listening carefully to what they say. We are to show that respect by giving eye contact, warmth, and affirmations where we can. We are to give others the benefit of the doubt and not be quick to judge them. We are to let them know that they are valued by us and by God. We are to recognize that they have gifts and strengths that are to be celebrated.

Those are ways that we can “Honor one another above ourselves.” Paul did not say to lower our own esteem, but rather, when we honor others, it lifts us up as well.

So, it appears that the Bible is a pretty good manual for counseling as well!

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the inspiration given in the Bible which helps our relationships, as well as giving honor to you, Amen.

 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?” 

He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

The man replied to Jesus “Who is my neighbor?

Luke 10: 25-27

I am reading an excellent, thoughtful book entitled The Ethics of Encounter, by Marcus Mescher. The book is based upon the parable of the Good Samaritan that Jesus told, as recounted in the book of Luke. The parable was in response to the question of a follower who asked the definition of “neighbor”. Jesus had just explained that one gains eternal life by loving God with one’s whole heart, and loving one’s neighbor as one’s self.

The nature of the question seems to be one of trying to define limits to the generosity one must extend by limiting the definition of “neighbor”. We are used to thinking of neighbors as being people we can summon by shouting out our door. Those that hear us are neighbors.  Pretty small definition, right?

Jesus expanded the whole story by not only not limiting who can be considered a “neighbor”, he upped the ante by making the story’s hero a hated Samaritan. He doubled down by having a Priest and a Levite disregard the fallen victim. Jesus knew how to stick the needle into those who would stubbornly try to limit the length of love to be extended outside their own tribe.

We will talk more about this in future blogs. For now, just read the passage in Luke, and take in the beautiful irony that Jesus uses to make his point.  

Prayer: Lord, help us to expand our own definition of neighbor, Amen.

This is a reprint of an older blog to enjoy while I take some time off for vacation. Hope you enjoy it…

I looked back in some old files and found a document that I had written just after my wife and I had led a leadership group for a select group of 17-year-olds from our city. In that program, we introduced them to community leaders, showed them how a number of non-profit agencies in the community worked together to help people, and taught them things we had learned from our own experience as we lived and worked in our town.

After that program, I wrote a list of the 10 things that I wished someone had shared with me when I was 17 years old. Here is that list that I shared with those young people…

1. It takes so little to be above average. An extra 15 minutes a day spent in reading, journaling, self-reflection, or writing a note to someone can set one apart as “above average”
2. Whenever possible, do not use the word “they” when talking about a group or place of employment of which you are a part. Try to use the word “we”. It implies ownership of what is going on, not shifting blame when something goes wrong.
3. Other people generally want to be liked as much as you do.
4. Life is about people, not projects, not success, not grades, not money.
5. Jobs come and go, but you only get one family.
6. Employers are usually looking for character more than skill. They can teach skills, not character
7. If you can laugh at yourself, you will receive grace from others.
8. Be able to say “I’m sorry”
9. Praise people in public, and correct them in private.
10. Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive!

So that’s it. Plenty more things that 17-year-olds need to learn, but that is my hot list for today. What’s yours?

Dear brother Christians, I love you and long to see you, for you are my joy and my reward for my work. My beloved friends, stay true to the Lord. And now I want to plead with those two dear women, Euodias and Syntyche. Please, please, with the Lord’s help, quarrel no more—be friends again.

Philippians 4:1-2

We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.       Benjamin Franklin

Seems that quarrels in the church have been going on for a long time. Paul urged two early church women to end their quarrel and be friends again. Yes, those early church leaders were just that- broken people who end up disagreeing and even holding grudges. Sounds like the church of today.

The Church these days is in turmoil, as some go off on differing political directions, splitting over policy issues, and taking hard stances on how to respond to differences in sexual orientation. There have always been lines drawn in the sand about the “right ways” to respond to issues in the world, and how we should discipline church members, etc.

I think Paul saw that a young church could not survive if it began splitting. I was reminded of Benjamin Franklin’s quote above about staying together as young revolutionaries in the face of British reprisals.

We have differences in how we see the world, our role as a Christian church, behavior of church members, etc. Paul said that Euodias and Syntyche should strive to patch up their differences.

Good idea…

Prayer: Lord, help us to seek peace and reconciliation rather than needing to be seen as “being right”, Amen

Without wise leadership, a nation is in trouble; but with good counselors there is safety.             Proverbs 11:14

Being a counselor, I of course advocate for people to get counseling. It is a normal, helpful tool that anyone can benefit from. Over the years, the stigma of going to counseling has decreased markedly, and that is a very good thing. There is no big secret about how or why counseling works. You get to talk with someone who is going to listen to you- hear your story- in order get rapport and show respect in order to help you through some of life’s difficult times. They will help you to see things objectively, and will give you feedback about that. They will be honest, and they will be loving in their approach.

As I have said numerous times, deciding to go to counseling can be difficult because people may not know what to expect. They may fear showing vulnerability, and yet that is the very essence of human healing. Acknowledging (not admitting, acknowledging– big difference when you think about that) that we are vulnerable and in need of help is a courageous step, not a sign of weakness. It is the beginning of a healthy journey.

My job as a counselor is not to judge you, but to engage with you to find solutions for problems. It is to come alongside you as a support and also an accountability person to keep you on track. Frankly, our job as counselors is to show God’s love to people as human vessels of support, encouragement, and engagement.

Yes, we have developed tools to diagnose and treat clinical conditions that need treatment- things like anxiety, depression, trauma recovery, mood disorders, relationship problems, and many more issues. We will refer to helpful resources, and typically, we will refer our clients to doctors for a physical examination, and/or to psychiatry for medication if needed. We will give homework, and we will ask for accountability on that work. The work of counseling is not all played out in the counseling session, it is effected through the work of the client outside the counseling venue.

I mentioned earlier that we acknowledge our vulnerability, not admit to it. You see, admission has the connotation of wrong doing. Acknowledgment is acceptance of a purely human condition. See the difference? Yes, words matter!

So, if I have opened the door just a little to make counseling a good alternative, I have done my job.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us one another to share the journey marked out for us. Give us wisdom in helping others along the path, Amen.

I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.             Romans 12:3 (The Message)

Recently had an interesting discussion with a client about our viewpoints on gratitude. We sometimes tend to focus on what we don’t have as opposed to what we do have. When we feel victimized or oppressed, we tend to focus on what we don’t have and what others do have. When we are in a state of gratefulness, we recognize what we do have and what others do not have.  

In the United States, we possess what a large percentage of the world would literally give their lives to have – freedom, economic opportunity, and a democratic voice in choosing our leaders. Do we have proper gratitude for that, or do we have a sense of entitlement to such blessings?

Tomorrow, I will celebrate, in this space, the 80^th anniversary of the D-Day invasion, which helped defeat Nazi oppression in World War II. Today, I celebrate with gratitude, all the wonderful gifts that we have that many in the world do not have – the pleasure of knowing political and economic choices.  

Let us make sure that we can give those gifts to our children and grandchildren.

Prayer: Lord, we are indeed grateful for the gifts that you so freely bestow upon us, Amen

You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.                                            II Timothy 2:22

I recently had a discussion with a client about the need to reinvent ourself as we go on in our career. I am at the point in my career that I can look back a lot and reflect. Yet, just looking back at the “old days” would not be a very helpful exercise if I did not use it to pass on to others some things I have learned along my journey. Sharing wisdom and experiences gained over our lifetime is not only a privilege, it is a responsibility.

I tell my clients sometimes that we need to spend most of our time looking through the windshield, not the rearview mirror. Looking back through that mirror is helpful, even necessary at times, but if we spend a majority of our time looking backwards, we will be in trouble. We won’t be able to see what is in front of us.

As we age, we need to keep looking forward- to continue reinventing ourselves to remain relevant and viable. We do have much to share with our younger brothers and sisters, but in order to do that, we need to stay current, and engaged with the culture.

Yes, there is a tendency- I have a tendency- to look back wistfully at the past. It is a nice thing to do once in a while, and it is often comforting. But we must remember that we still have a future, no matter what our age, and we owe it to those following us to give as much guidance and direction as we can.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the plan to pass on to others the things we have learned from our journey, Amen