So, in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.                     Galatians 3:26-28

There was a controversial social experiment done by a teacher named Jane Elliott in 1968 with her third-grade students. In the aftermath of the recent assassination of Martin Luther King Jr., she wanted her students to understand in a very practical way what racism, exclusion and prejudice feels like.

She divided her students into two groups- blue eyed kids and brown eyed kids. She later stated that one of the reasons she used this arbitrary determinant was that in Nazi camps during the holocaust in World War II, eye color sometimes decided who went to the gas chamber and who was spared. Blue eyed persons were not likely to be Jewish, but some brown eyed people tried to pass as non-Jews. Often, blue-eyed persons were spared.

She divided the students into eye color groups and proceeded to tell them that children with blue eyes were inherently superior to brown eyed children. She then gave some favored treatment to blue eyed children, including extra recess time. If children with brown eyes made a mistake, she would call it out, and attribute it to the fact that they had brown eyes and were thus inferior. The children also were instructed to wear arm bands indicating their eye color so as to make the distinction clear to all. This too harkened back to the Nazi practice of having Jewish people wear armbands with the Star of David to rapidly indicate who was the shamed group in the country.   

The children quickly picked up on this, and began to become very clannish within their eye color group, and to see themselves as inferior, or superior according to the arbitrary eye color distinction. Fights broke out, and each group began to take on the role of superior or inferior, to the detriment of both groups.

The sad point of this experiment was this- we can easily fall into a tribal and exclusionary mindset. We identify with those most like us, and we exclude and marginalize those that are different.

In looking back at our immigration policies over the past 150 years, some groups, at various times, have been favored, and others have been excluded. That is just one example of how we separate ourselves into little clans and tribes, and how we try to exclude others.

Paul weighed in on this in an early letter to the Galatians as quoted above. His letter rings as true today as it did many centuries ago. Human nature has not changed, only the nature of God can prevail in our broken world.

Prayer: Lord, help us to remember who we are- all equal in your eyes, Amen

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we also have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and so we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also boast in tribulation, knowing that tribulation produces patience,  patience produces character, and character produces hope.  And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who has been given to us                                                      Romans 5:1-5

There is real value in the simple phrase- “There is a solution to every problem”. The reason that this is so powerful as a fundamental belief is that it allows us to continue to seek for solutions. If our core belief is that there is a way to figure out something good out of a problem situation, we will keep looking for that solution.

The solution might not be one that we originally considered. The solution may be that we need help from others to solve a problem. The solution might be acceptance of things that we cannot change. The point is, if we believe that a solution is possible, we will continue to pursue it.

The saying is really of value in terms of the idea of looking for solutions rather than assuming that what we face is impossible. Yes, many people face daunting and terrible problems, often not of their own making. Yet the concept of finding a way out of our current difficult situation is worth the consideration.

Prayer: Lord, help us to continue to persevere, even when things look bleak, Amen

The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.                                                           II Timothy 2:2

I was speaking with a client recently and he mentioned that now in his late-sixties, he is struggling with continuing to be relevant. He had been in an influential career years ago, and now that he is semi-retired, he feels a bit lost, irrelevant, and is generally casting about for meaning in his life.

I shared with him a quote from my old pastor, Mike Slaughter who, when he turned 60, said that he saw himself as a “tribal elder”. I really liked that idea. The truth is, when we reach a certain age, we find that we have wisdom to share. Certainly, we have less physical ability, less stamina, perhaps diminishing senses of hearing, sight, etc., but we do have the wisdom of experience.

We may now have more perspective, more tolerance, more charity toward those who have not seen the blessings we have seen. It is our job now, as tribal elders, to impart that wisdom to a generation that desperately needs it.

Prayer: Lord, help us to share wisdom with grace and charity, Amen.

Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights                                        Proverbs 18:15 (The Message)

The way that we consume news has taken on some interesting, but not necessarily good, cultural shifts over the last number of years- actually over the last two or three decades. As we are aware, people seek out news and information from certain personally preferred sources. Social media has, by virtue of algorithms, sent us information that seems compatible with our usual choices. Therefore, we have become consumers of increasingly narrow news sources.

What we know about news these days is that it is not delivered to us as it used to be. In the past, we were typically treated as citizens needing to hear the news. The print media, especially local newspapers were a kind of guardian, being a check on government. That “fourth estate” could generally be relied upon to keep government as honest as reasonably possible.

Now that news producers, and social media, see people more as consumers, whatever information they dispense that will generate more income becomes what they will peddle to a curated consumer audience. Further, local newspapers are rapidly becoming obsolete, removing some of the truth guardrails that used to exist in the news business.

So, now we have news as more of a business than as a way to keep the public aware of the political landscape. News cannot be relied upon as being objective, but it is rather a choice to reinforce accepted views. We need to challenge ourselves to hear views that differ from our own beliefs. Our current beliefs may not be informed by facts as much as by our emotions.

In America, we are inundated with political news that is designed to sell, not necessarily to inform. It takes discipline to listen to all information, from various sources, and then make an informed decision.

Prayer: Lord, give us the wisdom to listen well, Amen

“The servant who knows what his master wants and ignores it, or insolently does whatever he pleases, will be thoroughly thrashed. But if he does a poor job through ignorance, he’ll get off with a slap on the hand. Great gifts mean great responsibilities; greater gifts, greater responsibilities!                                Luke 12:48 (The Message)

I recently looked at some statistics on charitable giving. Statistics can be interpreted in many different ways, so keep that in mind as I make some sweeping generalizations. I looked at giving in the United States, and I would encourage my international readers to check on giving patterns in your country. By the way, thank you again for my readers in Ireland, Canada, Germany Sweden, South Africa, Belgium, China, and India- as well as several other countries. I appreciate you!

The Bible states that to whom much is given, much is required. So true! Yet consistently, people in lower income brackets tend to give disproportionately more than their wealthy counterparts. Why is that? Probably a lot of reasons. People who attend churches which encourage a tithe may give a high proportion of their income- perhaps 10%.

Another possible explanation is that people with limited means understand the value of helping others who struggle with fewer resources. Those making less than $50,000 a year give more in relation to total income than those in all other income ranges except the highest earners.

Whatever the explanation, know that America is a generous country. Despite political and cultural diversions that tend to divide us, the American people give consistently to charitable causes that move them.

So, my dear friends, keep giving like somebody’s life depends on it.

That may well be the case.

Prayer: Lord, help us to continue to care for your people, Amen

“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” Psalm 46:10

I often give homework to clients that involves taking a few moments during the day for some self-awareness. Just take the time to be still and reflect. It begins by taking control of breathing – inhale 4 seconds through the nose, hold the breath about 4-5 seconds, and exhale slowly through the mouth for 8 or 9 seconds. Do this several times until you feel relaxed, having expelled more of the carbon dioxide which has built up.

Then, just think about how you are feeling at that moment. Be honest with yourself, you need not share it with anyone else if you don’t want to. Become aware of the feelings you may have. Are they negative feelings in the moment? Angry, scared, hurt, sad, frustrated? etc.

Then just accept that those are real feelings in the moment. Perhaps you feel none of those things. Maybe you are feeling happy, grateful, excited, loving. Just be in touch with what is happening at the moment.

Then decide, “what do I want to do with that feeling?” Do I want to record it like a journal entry?  Do I simply want to be aware of my current state and accept it? Is there something that I could/should do with such a feeling?

Just the honest awareness of our current state is healing. There may or may not be anything that one can do at that moment, but the honest reflection allows us to feel control of our current state. That alone is a healing moment.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the gift of presence and self-awareness, Amen

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,                                      James 1:19

To answer before listening—that is folly and shame                  Proverbs 18:13

I spoke with some clients the other day who really were starting to understand what it is like to truly listen to one another. The woman in the relationship even remarked, “Before, we were listening to be able to respond to the other. Now we are listening to understand one another.”

What a great insight and statement. When we begin to start to formulate our response to another, we have stopped listening and started to respond. It takes a great deal of patience and self-awareness to discern the difference.

 But it makes all the difference in the world.

Prayer: Lord, give us the patience to listen before we speak

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears              Psalm 34:4

I have spoken in the past about various manifestations of anxiety. Anxiety often results in worry and erosion of self-confidence. Chronic anxiety leads to depression. So, what good can come from anxiety? Well, we can leverage anxiety in ways to enhance our well-being when we can learn to manage it.   

For example, anxiety before a test or a presentation can cause us to overprepare. Fear of doing poorly can spur us to prepare more and longer to achieve our desired outcomes. When we are in a new environment and we are not familiar with our surroundings, we may be much more cautious and vigilant. This can potentially keep us safe.

There are other examples, but you get the point. If we can manage the anxiety we have, we can use it to our advantage. I tell my clients that anxiety is your “unwanted travelling partner”. Anxiety is not simply going to vanish, but it can be controlled. Once we make peace with the fact that anxiety is part of our life, we can learn to harness its warnings, to better discern the irrational fears from the possibly valid ones.

Anxiety is a part of everyone’s life. Some have a little, some have a lot, all of us have some. When we can learn to live with it, we can often use it to our advantage. Yes, some anxiety is not easily managed. That is where therapy, social supports, and medication can come in to play.

So, do not despair. That anxiety can be used for benefit- redeemed if you will- for a good purpose.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see that even potential threats can be turned into benefits, Amen

When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.  When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.  Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.                                                                                                      Job 2:11-13

In the Bible, the character Job is known for his suffering. Early in the book, his three friends knew of Job’s suffering, and they decided to visit him, to be available to him in his pain. Their early interactions with him were simple- they just sat with him and cried. This somehow brought relief to Job. They were with him, cared for him, and were simply present with him.

One of the most fulfilling things I find in my clinical practice is the privilege people afford me to walk with them through their most difficult life issues. Yes, this is a privilege because I have been invited in. It takes courage for people to call a counselor. It is an admission of need. It is an act of humility. I have often said in this space, humility is the beginning of wisdom.

We all, as human beings, have that privilege of walking through difficult times with others. Such interdependence is healthy, not a sign of weakness. We are made to be social and collaborative. So, my dear readers, recognize the power of presence. Just being available for one another is a healing thing!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for your healing presence with us, Amen

“But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.”                                              Matthew 5:48

Jesus said in Matthew 5:48 “But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.” So, what in the world was Jesus saying there? He wants us to be perfect? Yeah, no chance of that here.

Remember those math equations that plotted curves that come close to the graph axis but never touch it? Yeah, I didn’t either, but there are some equations whose points plot a curve that comes ever closer to an axis without touching it. That might be just like us. We get closer to perfection, and that is the goal, but we never reach it. We will not see perfection in this life on earth.

I think the idea here is that we are not to be perfect, but we are to be on the road to perfection. In other words, we have choices to make. We can decide which roads we will take in life. No matter what road we choose, we will not execute it perfectly. However, the key is choosing the right roads.

The roads we need to take are those that are not the easy roads- the ones which do not challenge us to be the best we can be. The roads we must take are the hard roads which challenge us to make choices larger than ourselves. Those are the roads that are of benefit to others whom we love. Because we have decided that following Jesus is about sacrificing so that others may have access to some of the benefits we have enjoyed, we have then followed Jesus.

Keeping blessings to ourselves is a road we can take, but it will not lead us to the place of perfection that God has intended for us. There cannot be love without sacrifice. It costs something to love others. To the extent that we take roads that lead us toward the way of sharing blessings and helping others to find that road- that is the road to perfection.

Don’t despair, you are not perfect. But make sure to choose the right roads, and you will be heading in the direction God has called “perfect”.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see the roads you would have us follow, Amen