…not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others           Philippians 2:4

I recently read a piece in the newspaper about the effectiveness of “Wellness Programs” in the workplace. Such programs have been proliferating for the past ten years or so with the goals being increased employee production, higher employee morale, better employee satisfaction, and increased staff retention. Perhaps the companies also are truly interested in the well being of their employees. I hope so.

The results of a recent British survey indicate that many such programs have not produced the desired goals in employee mental health and well-being. That is, except for one option offered to employees- engagement in volunteer activities. This activity outpaced things like self-help apps, coaching, relaxation classes, courses in time management and classes in financial counseling.

It is no surprise to me that activities that are focused outwardly, and not self-directed, are the ones that produce the most effective results. Becoming involved in a mission larger than our own well-being is the most effective way to become truly healthy socially and emotionally.

In fact, my homework for clients frequently involves a suggestion to check out volunteer work in the community or at church. When someone is positively involved in the lives of others, and the goal is the betterment of those whom we can help, we end up helping ourselves.  

Isn’t that an interesting paradox about human nature?

Prayer: Lord, you have made us to have missions larger than ourselves, Amen

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God                                          Matthew 5:9

In his sermon on the mount, Jesus spoke about what later came to be called the “Beatitudes”. One of those beatitudes was the one mentioned above- peacemakers. Jesus obviously valued peace, stating that the peacemakers were to be called “sons of God”- indeed, a high calling.

I think we are all called to be peacemakers, wherever we are. Think about situations where you have a choice to escalate a tense situation with an opinion, or to deescalate the situation by remaining silent. Or, you see an injustice happening, and you have the opportunity to take up the cause of someone being oppressed.

In my role as a counselor, I have the responsibility to evaluate situations, and try to bring healing and peace, as best I can into the situation. That does not mean that I cannot call out behaviors which are destructive or harmful. On the contrary, I am compelled to speak truth into situations as I see it. Yet, how does one bring peace into situations where there is strife and conflict?

Recently, I was on a phone call where there was much pain and anger, and indeed, some yelling and raised voices. My job was to deescalate the emotional overload, and be the voice of reason since I could be objective. My role was to try to restore a sense of calm as best I could. I found myself speaking very slowly and deliberately. I tried to listen empathically since it was clear that the person on the phone was in a great deal of pain at the moment. I asked that the person just give himself some space for a while, making sure that he was going to be safe.

I continued to speak slowly and calmly, trying to model the sense of calm that the caller desperately needed. I knew that time could give this person the needed space to regain his own sense of peace. Until then, he needed me to have a sense of peace and hope that he currently could not get to- understandable in his current situation.

I mention this because at times, we all can and do play the role of peacemaker. We can only do that if we ourselves have a sense of peace that God is in control. Whatever the situation, there is a solution. Our job is to be present, physically or emotionally, until that peace that passes all understanding can be felt by those whom we are trying to comfort.

Above all, the thing we all need is peace, the peace that comes from God.

Prayer: Father, thank you for calling us to be peacemakers. Give us the strength and opportunity to be your ambassadors of peace, Amen.

 And Jesus asked him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Legion”; for many demons had entered him.                                                                                                              Luke 8:30

You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world                                                                                                          I John 4:4

When Jesus exorcised demons from people, he would call them out by name. I was discussing this with a client the other day- not because of any kind of demonic possession certainly- but just to draw a message from the actions of Jesus.

The point of naming the demon becomes a metaphor. We must call out the thing that is oppressing us and keeping us in bondage. It may be an addiction; it may be long-held resentments; it may be fear, etc. The point is, until we can name the bondage, and then directly address it, it will maintain a hold on us.

As for demonic possession, or affliction- well, that is above my pay grade. I don’t really understand it, and I do not attempt to. I know that there are battles in spiritual realms, but I do not attempt to understand or rectify such issues. I trust that the Holy Spirit, in his work, is able to do things that we cannot in that realm.

I do believe, however, that often it is easy to blame a demon for our own poor choices and decisions, and that is where we need to take the hard inward look.

Prayer: Lord, help us to name the things that become bondage for us, and the strength to address them, Amen 

…but glory, honor, and peace to everyone who works what is good, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.  For there is no partiality with God.                                                                   Romans 2:10-11

I was recently speaking with a client about his concerns over the troublesome societal ethic of “value tiering”. His Christian experience compels him, (and all Christians) to regard every human being as made in the image of God, and therefore worthy of respect and dignity. We had a deep discussion of how his soul is hurt when people are devalued, and how he sees that people who devalue others will, and are, devaluing him.  

This is a good reminder for us that God is “no respecter of persons” (Romans 2:11), and that if God values people without respect to culture, race, even belief, how can we do less?

Prayer: Lord, help us to better see people the way you see them, Amen

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding                   Proverbs 3:5

I was talking with a client the other day discussing the idea of doubt. This client was a bit troubled by his tendency to question his own faith commitment, and he wanted to discuss that. The more we talked, it became clearer to him that questioning faith is actually important. Without questioning faith, there is no room for faith. In other words, if one does not question their beliefs, there is no need for faith.

Faith is like a muscle- it needs to be exercised regularly to maintain strength and viability. Faith that can stand regular scrutiny becomes stronger. It forces us to face ourselves in a very honest way, and to admit that while we do not have certainty, we have trust. Trust is what God requires of us.

There is an old metaphor about faith and trust. The question was “do you have faith that the chair there in the corner can support you? “Yes” is the typical answer. The response then from the questioner is, “then go sit in it, because faith is believing that the chair can hold your weight, trust is sitting in the chair.”

Questioning faith is natural and healthy I believe. Trust is knowing that God can sustain us, no matter how weak or questioning our faith is.  

Prayer: Lord, we do have trust in you, not our own strength of faith, Amen

 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends                              John 15:13

A week or so ago, I wrote about PTSD and how it has come to be seen over the past century. We now, of course have extended the concept of war related trauma to any trauma experienced in life- abuse, injuries, witnessing death and accidents- indeed, there are hosts of possible causes of trauma, and subsequently, PTSD.

While some people are in a world where trauma is rare (thankfully), first responders live in that world every day. My adult children, one a police officer, the other a trauma surgeon, experience trauma on nearly a daily basis. They are professionals, and they know well the costs of their professions. They can discuss PTSD, they understand it, and they find ways to handle it extremely well. They are among thousands of first responders around the world who serve us well.

That however does not mean that it doesn’t affect them. They are committed to their professions, and I am so proud of them. I also write this to remind my dear readers that we need to support our first responders, pray for them, and recognize those costs of keeping us all safe.

Prayer: Lord, we once again pray for those who serve and protect us, even at their own peril, Amen

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
    the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?                                          Psalm 127:3

I recently had the opportunity to celebrate my son-in law’s 50^th birthday with a family gathering. What a joy to have families meet to celebrate a milestone birthday. More importantly, it was a reaffirmation of family. We walked a good distance from the baseball game we attended, and on that walk, there was wonderful heartfelt sharing of life. It was not necessarily intended- it just happened, as many such conversations do. It was one of those “by the way” talks that are so impactful.

I have shared in the past that many impactful discussions happen “side-to-side” rather than face-to-face. Perhaps this gives some freedom to be more open and vulnerable than in discussions that are planned to be more intense.

Whatever the reason, I will cherish such discussions with my children and grandchildren. What a blessing is family…

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for the love of family, Amen

“Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time  – Jim Rohn

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. ..

From Ecclesiastes 3

How many hours do you spend on your phone each day? No, don’t tell me, but just be aware yourself of how many hours a day you devote to screen time. I get that report on my iPhone every Sunday morning. Sometimes I am really shocked at the amount of time I spend scrolling on social media.

We as a society are spending way more time in front of screens than we are say, reading books. What is this doing to our general well-being? Are we truly better informed, or are we just getting the feeds that algorithms have set before us?

When we choose books or articles to read, we ourselves are curating the content that we want to consume. Hopefully, we choose a wide variety of reading material- current events, fiction, non-fiction, history, specialty information for our careers and interests, etc.

Management of our precious time allotment on earth is so vital.

As we all know, it is pretty easy to get sucked into a reading environment that has been curated for us by some social media giant’s algorithm. Let us just be sure we are in charge of our own reading habits.

Prayer: Lord, help us to use the time that you have given to us wisely, Amen

Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid. Do I act for God? Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I’ll take care of you and your children.” He reassured them, speaking with them heart-to-heart.                                                                                                                                 Genesis 50: 19-21 (The Message)

I see so many clients who have overcome traumatic situations in their lives. I feel that it is important for me to affirm the struggle that they have had. Admittedly, some do better than others in their recovery, but their experience needs to be validated.

I remind these clients that they are not mere survivors of trauma. They are overcomers. That is, their life is not defined by the trauma, but informed by it. They have used that adverse experience(s) to make their lives better than they would have been without the trauma.

How is that possible? They found strength in themselves that they might not have known that they possessed. They refused to be victims of the trauma, but determined to grow from the trauma, and used it to better their own lives and the lives of others.

So, I always tell these clients to not say that they are survivors. They are overcomers.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the resilience that you have built into us, Amen

Now also when I am old and gray headed, O God, do not forsake me,
Until I declare Your strength to this generation, Your power to everyone who is to come.

Psalm 71:18

There is a basketball term, used mostly in the past, called “dribbling out the clock”. That was when the team with the lead and possession of the ball would not attempt to score anymore- they would just kill the clock by dribbling the ball until time ran out.

I have used that analogy with people who are in retirement age who are trying to determine what the rest of their life looks like. Will they use retirement to start a second career? Volunteer their time to worthy charitable endeavors? Travel and spend time with grandchildren?

For me, the option of dribbling out the clock is a non-starter. Studies have shown that seniors who have continued to work, or to volunteer their time to the good of the community live longer and healthier lives.

We are not meant to shut things down at a certain age. Certainly, there are those who are physically unable to work or do many activities outside the home. Even people who are limited physically can still be vital in causes and activities that expand their mind, including life-long education programs.

So, dear readers, the question is do we live until we die or do we exist until we die?

I choose to live my life as vigorously as I am able- no dribbling out the clock for me.  

Prayer: Lord, I am grateful for the health and the desire to continue to contribute to the gift of life you gave, Amen