The Lord will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life                                   Psalm 121:7

In their classic book Boundaries, Henry Cloud and John Townsend make a great analogy about the difference between “hurt” and “harm”. The give the analogy of going to the dentist. This was brought to mind recently when I went to the dentist to get a crown. The process included removal of a filling, then preparation for a crown.

My dentist is great, and she is ably assisted by a fine caring staff. However, the process involved some pain and a lot of discomfort. Nonetheless, the process was important for my general health. In fact, dental problems and/or poor dental hygiene are responsible for a number of significant health problems, including possible heart attacks and even brain infections.

Therefore, the Boundaries point was well made- some hurt was necessary to prevent greater harm. Sometimes we must do the hard things to avoid the catastrophic things, both physically and emotionally. So, that tough love that must be exercised with a loved one may save them from irreparable harm.

Great life lesson.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see the value of some pain in order to prevent harm, Amen

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.                                                                       Psalm 121:1-2

Look at the news around you. Better yet- don’t. The world is filled with suffering and bad news. The people of Gaza are suffering terribly from the actions of Hamas terrorists and the Israeli response attacks. The people of Ukraine are daily suffering from the exploits of Vladimir Putin’s war of aggression and terror. Untold thousand around the globe suffer from war, disease and poverty. If we keep our eyes on these atrocities, we get jaded and depressed. Perhaps outraged as well.

It all depends on where we look for relief. The Psalmist said that we must look up to the mountains, where we see God’s hand promised. Looking up is hard when we are distracted by looking around.

No, we cannot, and should not, ignore the suffering of those around us. Indeed, we are called to help in any way that we can. We donate to relief agencies in hope that some of the suffering we see around us may be somewhat ameliorated. It is a small gesture, but taken collectively, it helps.  

In the meantime, we must look up to where true relief is found.

Prayer: Lord, help those who are suffering in a world where hunger and pain abounds, Amen

God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.  And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.

 Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.  We love each other because he loved us first.

I John 4:16-19

I have always marveled at the truth and simplicity of these verses. What great mental health principles! One of the things I often tell my clients is that “It is better to go toward the good than  try to avoid the bad!”

I point out how weary and discouraged we can become if we are always trying to escape that thing chasing us. As hard as we run, that bad thing is going to eventually catch us we think. But if we are driven by a positive goal, an aspiration, we can find the energy to keep on.

So it is with love vs. fear. The natural consequence of living in fear is anger. People who live in constant fear end up with resentments and bitterness. Fear often is driven by a perceived loss or potential loss.

The natural consequence of living in love is gratitude. Understanding that God is love frees us to have security in him. It also frees us to love other people, and not to fear them.

Prayer: Lord, help us to lean into love, not fear, Amen

Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds                             Luke 12:24

As I have mentioned before, I feed birds- and secondarily squirrels, chipmunks, raccoons, ducks, and possibly a whole phylum of animals. Who knows who eats in my yard? The point is, I find it to be fun and entertaining to feed God’s creatures. It makes me think of the fact that they have no idea where the food comes from, they just know to show up and eat it.

In some ways, we eat off the land too. The process of how food comes about – the intricate chemistry of photosynthesis, the habits of the animals that we eventually consume as protein, are in many ways still unknown to us. Yes, we can produce crops, raise domestic animals, and even hunt wild animals for food, but the intricacies of nutrition are still being uncovered by humans.

So, I take the provision of my daily sustenance, my “daily bread” if you will, as being produced by God in ways that I do not fully understand. That is what sort of levels the playing field for me with the animals I feed. We are all simply grateful consumers in many ways!

Prayer: Lord, you provide for your creation in marvelous ways, Amen

Most of us, whether we do it consciously or not, set some goals for the day. We may or may not write them down- I typically do not. Nonetheless, they are in my head. For example, every day I have an exercise goal, as recommended by my smart watch. I am committed to post a blog every day, and three days/week, I have counseling clients to see. Then there are usually some chores around the house- not many because my wife does a lot!

All this to say that meeting those somewhat modest goals feels good. It is an accomplishment. These are pretty simple things usually, but completion gives me a real sense of accomplishment and control.

As I have mentioned in a previous blog, it can help with the bedtime exercise of reviewing the day and listing things for intentional positive self-talk- a homework I often give to clients, and one that I also practice.

So, there it is. The simple act of achieving practical daily goals ends up as a motivator, and as a source for a sense of accomplishment!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the simple things in life that give us joy, Amen.

 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.     Philippians 2:3-4

I first became aware of Buck O’Neil when I watched the marvelous Ken Burns series on PBS about the grand game of baseball. Buck O’Neil was a Negro League player and manager, and he became the first African-American coach in Major League Baseball in the 1960’s with the Chicago Cubs.

He should have been inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2006 with other Negro League greats, but instead, he gave a powerful speech about the inductees without any reference to his own snub. Buck O’Neil was able to celebrate the success of others with grace and joy.

He had his own credentials for induction, and finally received that honor this year. It is very sad to me when people do not get to experience the joy of being rightly honored in their lifetime. How might he have felt if he had been able to stand at the dais and make the acceptance speech for his own induction?

Yet, he loved the opportunity to see those whom he helped to prosper. He helped to establish the Negro League Hall of Fame in Kansas City, a shrine I intend to visit this summer.

Buck O’Neil, a victim of Jim Crow racism found a way to overcome hatred with love of others. I think he embodies Paul’s words in Philippians above. Buck O’Neil loved his God and fellow man. That is the best tribute one can have.

We love you Buck O’Neil!

Highlight, then click on this link below to see the great speech and warm embrace he gave to the crowd in 2006…

 The Greatest Thing – YouTube

Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be…                                                                                   Psalm 139:16

Just a random thought for today. We are, of course, the product of generations before us- many generations. Some people can trace those generations back for centuries through the help of ancestry websites and diligent research. As for my lineage, I can go back to the mid-18^th century on the Jung side. If I were more diligent, I am sure that I could go back even farther in the family tree.

Nonetheless, I found it fascinating, as I ruminated the other day, that I was held in the arms of grandparents who were born in the 19^th century. That struck me as both a very cool fun fact, and  a reminder that we are part of a grand chain of human beings who were put on this earth for a reason.

I am so grateful for the life I have, and for those who went before me in this grand scheme of a life that God had planned in eternity.   

Prayer: Lord, we are grateful for your plans, and for those who came before us, Amen.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.                                                                                                                                                      II Corinthians 12:9

Remorse: a gnawing distress arising from a sense of guilt for past wrongs 

Merriam -Webster Dictionary

I speak with my clients about guilt and remorse. Guilt is a negative emotion that does actually have a purpose. Its job is to get us in touch with things that we have done wrong in order to remedy the situation. Unfortunately, many people live in guilt long after its usefulness has passed. Guilt is useful only to the extent that it can get us to a higher level of awareness and functioning. It can cause us to act upon the deeds we have done that are not praiseworthy, and ask forgiveness for them.

Remorse is the next level- the healing level- that guilt can bring us to. Remorse is the distress caused by the fact that we have hurt someone else. We feel bad because we have hurt others. Our pain is the fact that we have caused others pain.

Unfortunately, there is cheap guilt that is self-serving. This guilt is hurt that we have been caught. We feel bad because our reputation has been hurt, or because we have consequences to pay. We are upset because we got caught or found out.

I discuss this because remorse is a higher level of self-awareness. Those who experience true remorse seek forgiveness not because they want to feel better. Rather, they want those whom they have hurt to feel better in some way.

So, words matter, and the context of levels of awareness are part of that. True self-awareness needs language in order for it to be understood.  Living in guilt is a bad way to live. Defining ourselves in terms of shame is even worse.

Prayer: Lord, you have provided the remedy for guilt and shame. Thank you for your grace and forgiveness, Amen

Be curious, not judgmental…

Ted Lasso

I just had the privilege of interviewing three people from my church about their stories. Specifically, it was about their “God stories”, that is, special times in their life when they felt the hand of God moving in a particular manner. I asked them about how their lives had taken unexpected turns, even amidst some tragedy or traumatic situations. I approached these people with curiosity, and compassion, because I knew that it was a precious thing that I held- their most intimate and vulnerable times, now to be shared for the benefit of others. These were, of course, not clients of mine- they were fellow church members seeking the good of their friends and church community.

I left the interviews invigorated. These people had shared stories with me that were powerful to them, but also to any listeners. That was my job- to elicit their story to expose it to others who may find it transforming.

Interviewing people is a specialty of mine, of course, and it was great to be able to help expose ways that God had worked in their lives in ways that still seemed awesome, even inexplicable to them.

We all have a story. Don’t be afraid to share your story for the benefit of others.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us testimonies of your power and grace, and we thank you for it, Amen

 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us                                                                                                                                                  Romans 5:8

In his sermon on Sunday, our pastor, Dennis, finished up a series on the Beatitudes. It was an excellent series from the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus outlined how we should live our lives. As he summarized the last Beatitude, Dennis pointed out that Jesus was the embodiment of each of those qualities discussed.

Jesus was poor in spirit (humble); Jesus was a man of sorrows; Jesus was gentle; Jesus hungered for righteousness; Jesus was merciful and pure of heart; he was a peacemaker, and finally, he was persecuted. He came to Earth to live out his life as an example to all of us.

We have been given an example of righteous living, and the world, for the most part, has rejected it. Yet God in his mercy pursues us to continually offer a better way. The way of love is often misunderstood, and sometimes even punished. However, we are comforted by the example of Jesus who extends his love toward us continually.

Prayer: Thank you, Father, for the gift of Jesus as an example of your love toward us, Amen