Let him have all your worries and cares, for he is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.                                                                                                                                           I Peter 5:7

Yesterday, I began the discussion about dealing with depression with the first of our three-part response- physical interventions. I mentioned the value of a physical examination, physical exercise, and the difficulty of overcoming the inertia of depression.

One cannot over-emphasize the value of movement and physical exercise. It offers both physiological as well as psychological benefit. Exercise, along with medication, has been shown to be effective in the treatment of many depressive conditions. Add counseling to that, and you have now arrayed a strong plan to defeat depression.

The emotional response consists of first overcoming the denial about depression, and actually considering the fact that “maybe I am depressed”.  The decision to seek help is critical. Next, the attitude must be that there is a solution for every problem. “There are things that I can do to help myself. If the first things I do didn’t help, the next things will be more effective”. Such thinking is key in not becoming a victim, because, if we believe that we are victims- we are.

Creative outlets are extremely helpful. Anything that can make our world “larger” is helpful. Depression tends to make our world “smaller”. We can become inwardly focused and that can lead to brooding. Inward focus and retreat can be initially helpful, but that cannot be our on-going response to feeling depressed. I tell my clients that they can “visit there, they just can’t live there”.

So, writing, painting, making or listening to music, volunteering, connecting with others even (maybe especially) when we do not feel like connecting with others- these are extremely helpful attitudes in overcoming depression.

Depression is a serious problem, but it can be treated with a full armory of resources. Please understand that I am aware of the depths to which depression can bring people, and I admire those people who are struggling through it. I simply want people to be aware that help is available, and asking for that help is a strong statement.

Willingness to deal quickly and directly with depression, with all the resources available is the way to overcome it. As noted yesterday, a physical examination, possible medication, exercise, taking a “solution for every problem” approach, asking for help, and prayer are the resources which we have. As they say in the recovery community, the program works if you work it.

Tomorrow, I discuss the spiritual dimensions in dealing with depression.

Prayer: Father, we know that you have a spiritual solution for every problem we have. Help us to persevere in seeking you, Amen.

 

      I cry to the Lord; I call and call to him. Oh, that he would listen.  I am in deep trouble and I need his help so much. All night long I pray, lifting my hands to heaven, pleading. There can be no joy for me until he acts.  I think of God and moan, overwhelmed with longing for his help. I cannot sleep until you act. I am too distressed even to pray!                                                                                                                   Psalm 77:1-4

 

David, a man who was called a “friend of God”, wrote the passage above. Even David, a man close to God’s heart, got to the point where he felt isolated, devastated, and alone. It can happen to anyone.

Clinical depression is different than periodic down moods that we all experience from time to time. Listed below are the diagnostic criteria for Major Depression from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 5^th edition (DSM 5).

• Depressed most of the day, nearly every day as indicated by subjective report (e.g., feels sad, empty, hopeless) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful)
• Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by subjective account or observation)
• Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day
• Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day
• Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)
• Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick).
• Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)
• Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide

In order to have a diagnosis of Major Depression, one must experience five or more of these symptoms in a two-week period, and it also must represent a change from previous functioning. At least one of the symptoms must be depressed mood, or loss of interest in things that formerly brought pleasure.

You will note that some of these symptoms are subtle, and could be attributed to other conditions. You also note that there are significant physical symptoms, such as loss of (or too much) sleep; significant weight gain (or loss); and agitation.

As I suggested in dealing with anxiety, depression too must be addressed in the three dimensions in which we live- physical, spiritual, and emotional. For today, I am only going to briefly discuss the “physical” dimension, and I will address the others in subsequent blogs.

The physical dimension of overcoming depression consists of exercise, reaching out to at least one other person (communicating and initiating connection), and evaluation from a doctor. This is to rule out possible physical causes as well as to potentially initiate medication evaluation. Many physical conditions can cause symptoms which mimic depression- diabetes, thyroid disorders, neurological disorders, and a host of other physical ailments. If you are experiencing several of the symptoms below, I suggest a physical examination first. Your doctor may well refer you to a counselor as a follow-up, and I, of course, recommend that as well.

The hardest step is always the best step. The malaise of depression causes inertia which is very hard to overcome. That is why engaging a partner in the battle against depression is so important. Do not try to do this alone! The insidious part of overcoming depression is that motivation has been eroded. People experiencing depression also have a tendency to isolate, which makes the condition worse. People who are seriously depressed must find the spark to overcome the inertia that seems overwhelming. Here is where the spiritual comes in. At this point, I will add just one spiritual dimension. Pray a simple prayer to “just help me take one step”.

That is more powerful than you can imagine.

 

Prayer: Father, be with those who are feeling overwhelmed with depression. Help them to take one step, Amen.

 

 I reach out for you. I thirst for you as parched land thirsts for rain.  Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens; don’t turn away from me or I shall die.  Let me see your kindness to me in the morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for my prayer is sincere.                                                                                                                                                                                  Psalm 143:6-8

I often ask my clients to describe if they are feeling more depressed or more anxious. Frequently, they have trouble distinguishing between the two. That, I think, is because the two conditions are so closely related. We know that we are feeling bad, but it may be hard to describe the difference in these two common emotional disorders. I think that anxiety over time, chronic anxiety, leads to depression.

There was a study many years ago where experimenters electrified a grid and placed rats on the grid. The electrical stimulation was not harmful to them, but it was irritating, and, of course, the rats scrambled to get away from the mild shocks given. Over time, the grid was electrified in different areas, and the rats scrambled away, as was expected. Gradually, more area of the grid became electrified, and there was finally no space where the rats could get away. They had no escape from the irritation of the mild shocks.

Finally, the rats simply gave up, laid down where they were, and slept. Upon dissection of the brains of the rats, experimenters found that their brains were highly depleted of serotonin. The chronic exposure to the stress of the shocks had caused the rats to shut down production of this vital brain chemical- the one associated with mood elevation.

The analogy is pretty obvious. When we are subjected to chronic stress, such as anxiety, the long-term effect is depression. We shut down, and sometimes then just give up.

Fortunately, we are not rats, and we can find some remedies when we are anxious and stressed. But the lesson is clear. If we are in a prolonged stress situation, depression can well be the result. Our bodies become depleted of serotonin, and we get to a place of anhedonia- a condition where we cannot find respite or pleasure in anything.

Tomorrow, more about depression and ways to deal with it. In the meantime, recognize that there is always a spiritual solution to problems, no matter how hopeless it feels. There is help, but ask for it. Please, ask for it.

Prayer: Father, you have given us the support of one another when we are hurting. Thank you for the plans you have for us, Amen.

 

 

 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.                                         Matthew 5:13

I am fascinated by chemistry. Had my math strengths been better, it is possible that I might have even majored in chemistry in college. However, I realize that while I have an interest in chemistry, at best I could only be considered a chemistry “spectator”, or maybe admirer. I do not think I had the academic rigor to pursue the hard sciences professionally. Call me a science “groupie”.

At any rate, I am fascinated by the chemical elements and compounds. One of them is salt. Common ordinary table salt. There are many types of salts, but the one we are most familiar with is sodium chloride.

Salt has been valued for centuries, mostly, in the past, for one thing- its preservative qualities. Before refrigeration, people needed to find ways to preserve precious food supplies, such as fish. In the time of Jesus, salting fish was a common way to preserve them. Another was drying the fish, and still another was smoking the fish. All produced the result of allowing the fish to be kept much longer than in its fresh state.

Through the centuries, salt was sought after and wars were even fought to ensure steady supplies of it. Cities grew up around salt mines, and the word “salary” even derives its meaning from salt, since workers often were paid in allocations of salt. It was that important a product.

In the sermon on the mount, Jesus used the analogy of salt. He told his followers that they were to be the salt of the earth. This meant that they were to be the ones to deliver the message of grace and redemption in order to “preserve” the earth. If they failed to be “salty” they would fail in the mission.

In order to live out the full mission of being “salty”, not only are we to preserve the earth with the good news of the gospel, but we also need to display other qualities of salt- making things taste better, and making people thirsty. People will not hear our message of hope if we are not making the world “taste better”- that is, be more of a palatable place to live. If we do not make people thirsty to hear about the hope of the gospel, we will not be effective.

So, consider how you can make the world around you taste a little better. It is only then that we can get a hearing for people to know how grace can be freely given to them.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the creation that you have spoken into existence. Even salt is part of your plan for our benefit, Amen.

 

And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus                                                                                                                                                                       Philippians 4:7

As I have written before in this space, we are three part beings, and therefore healing and recovery needs to happen in all three spheres of our being. Those three spheres are the spiritual, emotional, and physical. So let’s look briefly at a plan to deal with anxiety on all three levels.

On the physical level, exercise, particularly outdoor exercise is critically important for relief of anxiety. During this COVID experience, there is a sense of being “locked down” and there is a subtle claustrophobic response going on in the background, even if we are not fully aware of it. So, if it is at all possible, get outdoor exercise for 30 minutes per day. Even if it is only 20 minutes, or even 10, the regularity of it is very important. Our brain and body crave movement, and to the extent we accommodate that, the better off we are.

Emotionally, we need to be aware of current feeling levels. There are often a lot of emotions present in us that we have not really stopped to identify and own. When we can do that, it is the first step to freedom. The emotions are the accelerators in life, and they can get out of control if they are not checked by a good, healthy cognitive “braking system”. Our mind, our will, is the executive function that can effectively govern emotions that are seemingly out of control.  Anxiety will tell us that we cannot control those emotions. Anxiety lies to us!

Finally, submission to a spiritual solution is an ultimate answer to things that feel out of control. Indeed, we cannot control everything, but God is in control. If we can recognize that- accept that, not necessarily understand that- we can have “peace that passes all understanding”.

So, that is the nutshell explanation. Of course, there is a great deal going on in each of those dimensions, but my point here is that even when we “feel out of control”, we really aren’t. That is the insidious anxiety effect that is so painful and potentially debilitating.

There is a solution for every problem. Just hang on to that.

Prayer: Lord, we accept that you have already covered our anxiety, even when we do not understand it, Amen

 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.                                                                                                                            Philippians 4:6

Anxiety is the uninvited traveler on life’s journey with us. I tell my clients that anxiety is present with all of us at some time and at some level. It is part of the human condition. Some people indeed struggle with it much more than others, but be assured that all of us must mange the anxiety we carry. It won’t simply vanish. It is our uninvited traveler on the journey of life.

In order to manage anxiety, there are certain game plans that need to be considered. Control of our affairs and decisions is important. While it is true that we cannot control everything, we can control some things. Where there is high anxiety, there is need of high control.

Anxiety is like a cunning enemy, reminding us of the things that won’t work, what might happen, what should have happened. It fills our mind with a stream of thoughts that seems like it cannot be stopped.

And here is where we take control. We manage the battle by picking the battlefield. We decide when and where to “engage the enemy”, because it feels like a war in the mind.

So, in picking the place, I tell people to get it out of here (pointing to my head) and getting out to here (pointing broadly outside of the body). Anxiety does its best work in the silence of self- examination – typically over-examination. The remedy? Occupy yourself with things like writing,  reading, or doing service for others. External focus and commitment to doing something outside of ourselves takes the focus off of our preoccupation with dread- real or imagined.

I also suggest that we change the “when” of the battle. The technique of “designated worry” can be effective. In other words, we control when the worry can take place. We write down the worries- some are worthy of consideration after all- and we decide when we will dedicate the right amount of time to look at the worries. Then, we can come up with a plan. We can control that too.

Paul said, “Be anxious for nothing”. He said that because anxiety is something that must be addressed. He adds, “by prayer and thanksgiving present your petitions to God”. He knew that there must be action taken to manage anxiety. What we cannot control, we pray about, and that is the spiritual remedy.

Tomorrow, we look at the three- pronged approach to managing anxiety.

Prayer: We know that you have assured us to “fear not”, and we trust that you have made provision for us, Amen.

“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison.  Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny                                                                                                                                                                    Matthew 5:25-26

“The best way to get rid of your enemies is to make them your friends”                                                           Abraham Lincoln 

The precepts of the Sermon on the Mount are profound. In the passage above, Jesus gives an example that common people can relate to. Someone is taking you to court because you have wronged them. Jesus gives a very simple and practical piece of advice- settle up before you get into more trouble than you have bargained for. This means that one must recognize their problem, then do something, sooner than later, to rectify it.

The allegorical Judge here is God the Father, who has the power and authority demand a penalty for our wrongs. We can be reconciled long before such judgment takes place by recognizing the forgiveness that Jesus offers. I call that agreeing with God.

This is good practice all the time. I always liked Lincoln’s quote above –“The best way to get rid of your enemies is to make them your friends”  What a practical and logical thought. Endeavor to make friends and you run out of enemies. I think about the very practical and freeing idea of reconciling with adversaries long before there are serious problems that may arise.

More importantly, we need to reconcile with God. We need to agree with Him in order to lead a peaceful life.

I like that idea of agreeing with God. I mean, who would really want to intentionally disagree with God? But we actually do that a lot. So, to remind myself, I make a list of the things I agree with God about.

I agree that I am a sinner in need of his grace.

I agree that he has extended that grace freely.

I agree that he loves me, even when I am not lovable.

I agree that I am forgiven.

I agree that I am commanded to love others, even when they are unlovable.

That wasn’t so hard was it?

 

Prayer: Thank you Father for the simple truths that set us free, Amen.

 

I have decided to share today some excerpts of a column I wrote in the late 1990’s prompted by a raft of school shootings. Unfortunately, those types of shootings have continued, both at schools and in other gatherings since that time.

Yes, indeed, mental illness is a problem now as it was then. Certainly, better early identification of mental illness is crucial. I am encouraged that society seems to be paying some more attention to this critical need.

I believe that my response from those shootings still has validity, if being just a bit dated. Some principles, however, stand the test of time. I think this column bears a repeat, with some minor edits…

A sickness of the soul.  That’s what I think it is that afflicts our country and those lost youngsters who are shooting classmates in the nation’s schools.  We all are looking for reasons for the shootings of the past 9 months so that we can have some answers as to how to deal with this problem. 

I call it a sickness of the soul.

The presence of guns is not really the problem. (Yes, it is a problem, but not the core issue which underlies the chilling social problem of mass shootings). I do not happen to be a gun lover nor a gun owner, but I do not identify guns as the problem.  I think the long and complex answer is in how we see children and how we teach them to fit into our society.           

Essentially, kids feel unneeded-not necessarily unwanted, just unneeded.  We parents of children born in the 70’s and 80’s really do want our children. For the vast majority, they were planned. Indeed, ours is one of the first generations who had reliable birth control to ensure wanted pregnancies. 

Our generation even had abortion to “take care of” unwanted pregnancies. Remember how the abortion rights advocates said that abortion would help cut down on abuse of unwanted children?  Unwanted children? That is not the problem.

These children born in the 70’s and 80’s generally were born into homes where there was not poverty and hunger. The economy was basically decent, or even good, and even though both parents were working, the children were not needed to help sustain the family economically.

 The children were given what they needed, and very often, what they wanted.  What they often did not have was the sense of being needed by the family. Consequently, many have grown up soft and comfortable, with little sense of responsibility.

            I think it is not a coincidence that the strongest, the most responsible, and the most successful generation in our country was toughened by the Depression of the1930’s.  The generation of people who were children between the ages of 5 and 18 in 1930 were the ones who fought and won World War II.  They then went on to rebuild the United States and the rest of the world after the war.  That generation was toughened by the deprivation of the Depression.  They had to work hard early in their lives to help sustain themselves and their families. 

They had gained a valuable sense of responsibility for themselves and for those around them.  They had also learned reliance on God and they did not take their blessings for granted.

We parents who tend to give so much to our children economically often fail to give them food for the soul. We need to teach them to recognize that there is a God to be obeyed and worshipped, and to recognize that God values all people, not some better than others.

 I believe that such teaching feeds the soul.  If the soul is not fed it becomes sick, and then we reap the effects of a generation that longs for literal “soul food”.

We all need to learn that we are not God, and that we are not the center of the universe. 

That is the easiest and hardest lesson to learn, and it is the most important one.

Prayer: Father, give us wisdom as we prepare our children and grandchildren how to make the world a better place than they found it, Amen.

 

 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy your whole body will be full of light.  But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!                                                                                                                        Matthew 6:22-23

This is an interesting passage of the Bible which deals with the eyes. It discusses, I think, the importance, both physically and metaphorically, of how we use our eyes. In the earlier passage, Jesus had discussed the ways that we look at wealth. Is wealth our primary focus, or is our primary focus how we treat other people?

I just heard a podcast about the learning abilities of wolves and dogs. It seems that both wolves and dogs rely heavily on the eye contact of the trainer to learn. The experiment they did involved how well both wolves and dogs learned cues about how to find food. (The wolves won, by the way) The point again drove home the fact to me that eye contact is extremely important in human relationships. Holding good eye contact for communication is an important tool in learning solid communication. We read a tremendous amount into non-verbal communication, like eye contact, to determine warmth and the credibility of other people.

As a counselor, I really like to make as much eye contact as is comfortable with my clients. (Virtual counseling has been a challenge in this new environment, but that is the subject for another day.) I read a lot into eye contact. I look at when people give it, and when they withdraw it. We can tell if someone is “with us” by virtue of the eye contact and other non-verbal cues we get from them.

Jesus in this Matthew account, states that our eyes are the “lamp of the body”. What he meant was that, we read intent and virtue into how we meet other peoples’ eyes. The old saying “the eyes are the window into the soul” likely came from this Bible verse. Indeed, as humans, we rely on cues such as eye contact to validate what we hear. If there is a disconnect between what we hear, and the non-verbals that we see, like eye contact, we will likely rely upon the eye contact as the cue we believe.

I will have more to say on this subject in future blogs. In the meantime, consider how much you value eye contact to determine the sincerity of the person to whom you are talking. We humans require complex mechanisms to communicate, but then again, so do dogs and wolves.

It seems like eyes are indeed the “lamp of the body”.

Prayer: Father, give us eyes to see the important things in life, Amen.

 

 

When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, “Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.”

 But Simon answered and said to Him, “Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless, at Your word I will let down the net.”  And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking.  So, they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink.  When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!”                                                                                                                                                                         Luke 5:4-8

 I listened to a sermon today from a pastor I really like. In fact, he is the pastor of my daughter’s church and we have come to see him and that ministry as our adopted church. He spoke about this passage from Luke 5 and his message was great, but I have always had a different takeaway from it than many people.

This passage involves our friend Peter. Peter was a business man, a fisherman. He depended on fishing for his livelihood. It was not sport or recreation, it was catch fish and eat or fail and not eat.

What I find so interesting in this passage is that it took this particular event to convince Peter about the majesty and authority of Jesus. It was not too long before this that Jesus had healed Peter’s mother-in-law from a fever. Jesus had done a flat-out healing of someone close to Peter- a healing he clearly was aware of. But it took Jesus to get Peter a great business success before he reacted in the profound way that he did to Jesus.

Peter was clearly awed by the power and authority of Jesus after the great haul of fish that day. So, that makes me think, Peter is just like me. Maybe all of us. We are of the “what have you done for me lately?” persuasion.

Yeah, I’m not really proud of that, but I also recognize the humanness of that. We all forget so easily what great things have happened in the past. Great answers to prayer, recovery from illness- whatever it may have been. We remember those things that hit close to home better than some other things. For Peter, that great catch of fish may have rescued him from financial disaster- who knows? It surely got his attention.

What I do know, is that Peter and I are probably pretty alike. Even after a long history of grace and answered prayers, I tend to say, “yes, but what about now? I need you now more than ever!”

I know that God recognizes this in his creation. I note that Jesus did not get upset with Peter in the least. In fact, Jesus told Peter that he would be, from that moment on, a powerful member of his team.

What a great fish story!

Prayer: Father, thank you for the great things you constantly do for us. Help us to remember them even in the lean times, Amen.