Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own                                                                          II Corinthians 5:14-15 (The Message)

Today is the highest holy day for the Christian faith- the day we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. This miracle is an article of faith for Christians, and the cornerstone of Christian belief. The very idea of resurrection is so refreshing, so life-giving, that it is compelling as a foundation for a new way of life.

The fact that the Christian faith is one that believes in a new life from what has died is the most hopeful concept one can imagine. We humans, by nature fail, sin and let one another down. Yet, there is provision for new starts- recovery from addictions; redemption of broken relationships; restorations of lives broken in many ways.

No matter what your faith orientation might be today, take heart that whatever you may have done to fail another person, or yourself, can be forgiven, and a new start is available. Isn’t that the most compelling thing that life has to offer?  A new start!

Happy Easter, my friends, have a new start!

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the new starts you give to us over and over, Amen.

My heart is overflowing with a beautiful thought! I will write a lovely poem to the King, for I am as full of words as the speediest writer pouring out his story.                                                                                                               Psalm 45:1 (The Message)

When my kids were little, they often used to ask me to tell them a story. I was usually glad to oblige.  People love stories, and children especially love stories told to them by parents and grandparents. So, if your child or your grandchild asks for a story, by all means, tell them a story!

Rituals like this are reassuring to children. As we reflect back, we see that those times are likely more reassuring to us, the tellers, than it was to the kids. When my kids were little, I would tell them what to dream about.  This practice was reassuring to them, even though they may well never dream about what I suggested. It gave me an opportunity to give them reassurance to recall good things that had happened to them- to let them sleep peacefully.  Sometimes it was about what their future might be like. Sometimes, it was just about a positive experience in their life.

As we have opportunities to speak good things into the lives of our children and grandchildren, we need to grab those times while they still remain. As I was talking with a friend today, he related to me that he had given his grandson a story of family legacy. I told my friend that his grandson would likely never forget that experience.

Much of our history has been oral history. We pass down family stories that become family lore. That has been the case for centuries. I suggest that we keep on doing it.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the legacies that you give us. Help us to pass them down to the next generations, Amen.

Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
    sweetness to the soul and health to the body.                                                                                                              Proverbs 16:24

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.                                                                    Proverbs 17:22

There is, of course, great wisdom in the book of Proverbs. Even though it was written perhaps 2500 years ago (or so), it contains wisdom that is timeless. In today’s blog, I am looking at the power of words. As the book says, words have the power to lift up a spirit or to crush a spirit. From the same mouth can come blessings or curses.

I note that the passage from Proverbs 16:24 indicates that words are like a honeycomb. Later in the book of Proverbs, it alludes to the fact that a “broken spirit dries up the bones”. While this language is meant to be figurative, I really think that there was an allusion to literal physical health. Depression feels like it goes all the way to the bone. We also know that the health of our very blood manufacturing process takes place in the bone marrow. That marrow in the bones is like…a honeycomb.

So, just maybe, those kind words can “get into our bones”- deep into our soul, and heal us. Maybe it is not such a stretch to say that words can be healing and health-giving. Proverbs tells us that words are health to the body, and that a joyful heart is good medicine.

I’m going with words can literally be healing to one another. The more we use those words of encouragement, the healthier we all are.

Prayer: Lord, you have literally given us the power to heal with our words. Help us to use them wisely, Amen

Simon Peter answered, “Lord, there is no one else that we can go to! Your words give eternal life…   John 6:68 (Contemporary English Version)

Disappointed with God. That was the title of a book written by Phillip Yancy many years ago. Do you feel that way sometimes? If so, you’re in good company. The Psalmists, including David expressed such feelings very clearly and openly to God in their writing and in their prayers. Other Bible writers expressed that sentiment also. If you’re honest, there were plenty of times you felt that way too.  

The fact that we can be open and honest with God about such disappointment speaks to the very relationship that we have with him. Hiding those feelings from others, and ourselves, is not healthy. Sharing such disappointment with God is not only honest, it is proper. The fact that we can even be disappointed says that we have expectations of God to be part of our life. He simply does not always react the way that we would want or like.

The hard part is to “trust him anyway”. That is what the Psalmists usually ended up saying. I mean, what else can we do? As Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, there is no one else that we can go to! Your words give eternal life…”

So, it is, in my humble opinion, good to let God know that we are hurt, sad, disappointed- whatever it may be. He already knows that anyway. But we also know that we must “trust him anyway”, because truly, there is nowhere else to turn, and he has the words of eternal life.

Prayer: In the words of Peter, we know that you are the person that we turn to, and to “trust in anyway”, no matter the circumstances, Amen

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt                                          Abraham Lincoln

But even so their evidence conflicted. So, the High Priest himself got up and took the center of the floor. “Have you no answer to make?” he asked Jesus. “What about all this evidence against you?” But Jesus remained silent and offered no reply.                                                                                     Mark 14:59-61

The value of silence. I wrote a few weeks ago that when Job had all his troubles, his friends came and just sat with him without saying a word. Job felt their presence and he was comforted, even though they didn’t speak.

Jesus, standing before his wild-eyed accusers who were making up vicious and untrue stories about him, was silent. In so doing, he gained power. They became desperate, angrier- and louder. There is an old saying that some attorneys have- When you have the facts, pound the facts. When you have no facts, pound the table! Somehow, we believe that if we just get louder, we can be heard better. The truth? The softer we speak, and the less we speak, the more people listen.

I am reminded of Jesus being silent before his accusers as we are in Holy Week. We recall again the dignity and character of Jesus as he was falsely accused. He knew who he was, and he knew the truth. That is what mattered to him.

So, as we engage others in disputes or disagreements, the discipline of silence and soft words has high value.

People can often hear our words better when they are unspoken.

Prayer: Lord, give us discernment about how and when to speak, Amen

So, he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables

John 2:15

So, yes, I think the passage above allows us to say that Jesus was pretty mad. He took the time to make a whip to herd out the animals, and he threw out the coins and overturned the tables of the money changers. This action was not just a spur of the moment thing. Jesus had witnessed this, I’m sure, many times. Finally, he got tired of how people were misusing what was meant to be a place of meaningful worship, and had turned it into a carnival of greed.

This passage is often cited as the justified anger of Jesus, and rightly so. Jesus got angry when the right use of things became perverted, and therefore diminished the proper meaning of them. People can get discouraged when this happens, and they can lose faith in leaders. Jesus became quite upset when the simple faith of people became a point of manipulation for those who would profit off those trusting worshippers.

The fact that Jesus got angry is representative of his human nature. He owned it, and he used his anger to try to rectify a wrong. Unfortunately, much of our human anger is for far less noble causes. Worse, we often do not even properly own our anger, but we call it something else. Like, “I’m not angry, I’m just frustrated!”.

Well, the truth is, frustration is a combination of anger and inability to effect change. There is nothing wrong with it- it is normal to our human condition. I just think it is a bit healthier to recognize that there is anger as part of that emotion. We often do not want to own the fact that we are angry. Anger isn’t the problem. The problem is “what causes us to be angry?”

If our anger is kindled because of someone being wronged or hurt, that’s one thing. If it is because we don’t get what we want? Well, that’s another thing. Let’s just consider, “What are the things that trigger my anger?” Then we can get to a better place of dealing with it.

Prayer: You have given us the richness of emotions. Help us to recognize them and use them in a healthy way, Amen

I thank my God every time I remember you…                                                                                                         Philippians 1:3 (NIV)

It is hard to believe that this daily blog will be one year old on April 1, 2021. The COVID shutdown was really starting to squeeze us, and I decided to begin writing a daily blog on April 1, 2020. The blog was, as it turns out, actually about helping my own mental health, and hopefully, that of my readers.

 The blog is about mental health perspectives, with an emphasis on holistic care which includes spiritual, physical, and emotional health. I hope that it provides encouragement, as well as the healing perspectives that we all need as we travel on this journey together.

I am so grateful for my beloved readers, who tap in from various parts of the globe, including faithful readers in the United States, Ireland, China, France, Germany, Singapore, Netherlands, India, UK, and the Philippines. Love to all!

So, on April 1, 2021, this daily blog is a year old. It also happens to be Opening Day for the Cincinnati Reds, my baseball obsession since I was a child. Of course, the Reds have been doing this since 1869, so, I have a way to go!

Blessings to all, and I hope to continue to keep in touch…

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the opportunity to reach brothers and sisters all over the world. What a blessing to be able to have a world that can be connected in this way, Amen

A person finds joy in giving an apt reply—
    and how good is a timely word!                                                                                                         Proverbs 15:23

One of the types of homework that I often give to clients, that is my “couples clients”, is the “3 Questions”.  I find that many couples, in their busy schedules, often do not spend intentional time together. Sometimes, they just need a specific plan and format to connect with one another, so I give them this simple formula.

They are to set aside 15 minutes every day for one another. During that time, they are to ask one another, in this order, the 3 questions. Those questions are: “What is the best thing that happened to you today?”  “What was your biggest challenge today?” “Where did you see God today?”

This simple exercise can get the couple connected on a more than surface level, and it can be done in a minimum of time. Of course, they are allowed to spend more than 15 minutes on this, and I hope they do, but the regular intentional decision to connect is really the important thing.

I add that if they feel like they can hold hands and briefly pray together, so much the better. In this way, they have connected physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

So, the exercise is simple, but the hard part is being intentional and disciplined about doing it. If they do this every day for a week, it can become a habit. And, as they say in the recovery community- it works if you work it.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us communicating people. Help us to be intentional with those whom we love to connect daily and deeply, Amen

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
    but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life                                                                                               Proverbs 13:12 (NIV)

I recently saw a couple in marriage counseling, and at the end of the session, I wanted to give them some added encouragement. They have been struggling for some time, and I felt that they needed an extra boost. So, I told them that I have seen, literally, multiple hundreds of couples over the years. Based upon my experience, I told them that there was every reason that we could be successful in our endeavors, and that they have worked hard and shown perseverance. I further suggested that if they continue to work the plans we have all laid out, there is no reason that the marriage could not only be restored, but that it could prosper better than they had ever imagined.

I said this because I believe it. I also said it to give them hope, because they had seen little hope over the past several years. I noticed that the wife had tears in her eyes, and then she just let them flow. She thanked me for the confidence I had in them, and for saying out loud that this marriage could be renewed, and that it could prosper like it once had.

One of the most important jobs that counselors can do is give hope. The belief that things can get better is often just the impetus needed to make that positive change happen. Without hope, people can give up, and so, to the extent that we are able, we must continue to give people hope for a better future.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us hope for a future. Help is to spread that to others, Amen.

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”                                                       Mark Twain

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.                                                                                                          Philippians 4:6-7 (The Message)

This quote from Mark Twain bears a lot of truth in its humor. Twain is saying, in his own inimitable style, that most of the worries we have never happen. Sometimes we worry because we think that we have some sort of unspoken need to pay attention to some situation, or possibility, and therefore, we can have some measure of control over it. Almost like saying, “Well, I did my job of worrying about that so I’m not going to be blindsided by it!”

We worry because it gives us the illusion of control. As I have discussed earlier, control is the antidote to anxiety. Where there is high anxiety, there is a perceived need for high control. We tell ourselves that if we control every possible scenario, we can somehow fend off some bad outcome.

Sometimes, over-control is good. We “overstudy” for the test to minimize test anxiety. Not a bad strategy, but it’s not fool-proof. Nonetheless, it serves a good purpose, and it likely is a helpful idea.

 On the other hand, some over-control causes more problems than it solves, such as hoarding behavior or agoraphobic responses where people simply try to never leave their home. We also know that some behaviors, like superstitions, do not help outcomes, but we do them anyway for our own comfort- you know, just in case.

Like, maybe that thing of never washing the socks you wore when you pitched that shutout last year. Or never stepping on the foul lines in baseball. Or dribbling exactly six times before you shoot a free throw. Let’s not blame the athletes for their superstitions. We all do stuff that really doesn’t help anything other than make us feel like we exercised some control where we felt we had none.

So, keep in mind Twain’s quote. Much of the stuff we worry about just isn’t going to happen. Of course, if it makes you feel better, it’s OK to keep that lucky coin in your pocket!

Prayer: Lord, we know that you have given us access to you in prayer at all times. Thank you for that provision, Amen