Just as there are many parts to our bodies, so it is with Christ’s body. We are all parts of it, and it takes every one of us to make it complete, for we each have different work to do. So we belong to each other, and each needs all the others.                                                                                                                                            Romans 12:4-5

On our trip to Italy, we visited the beautiful cities of Florence, Siena, and Rome. Each of those ancient cities are saturated with art, done by some of the most brilliant artists the world has ever produced.

The Piazza del Campo in Siena is a huge area, and it is the home of a famous horse race, the Palio di Siena, which pits each of the seventeen contrade (neighborhoods, but more than that really) of the city against one another. Actually, there is a lottery to pick ten of the seventeen contrade to participate in the race. Each contrade has its own flag, its own traditions, and there is a great rivalry about the race.  It is run twice each summer, coinciding with feast days which honor the Madonna of Provenzanzo, and the feast of the Assumption of Mary. The event has been going on annually for a shade over four centuries, so there has been time to build up some rivalry.

While we were in the area near the Piazza one day, we heard loud singing. It was joyful and hearty. I had to check it out. Upon turning a corner in a small alley (there are only thousands of them in Siena it seems), I saw a group of young men standing on tables, drinking wine straight from the bottle, and celebrating some type of event. Maybe it was a bachelor party, or maybe a college fraternity. Maybe they were simply celebrating that it was Tuesday- who knows. The point was that they were exuberant in their expression. Besides that, they sang in unison, on tune, and at the top of their lungs.

I loved it.

The free expression of emotion seems to be an enduring trait in Italy. Uninhibited singing, expressive hand gestures, a gusto for life. Those are some of the things I appreciated on our trip. The art was spectacular, the ancient Roman technology was unsurpassed, but the people were just fascinating.

Traveling gives us perspective on other cultures. We learn to appreciate differences, and celebrate those differences. That sounds like a good idea, whether we travel five thousand miles, or five blocks.  

Prayer: Lord you have made us in your image, yet so different in expressions of it. Help us to appreciate the differences, Amen

Dear friend, when you extend hospitality to Christian brothers and sisters, even when they are strangers, you make the faith visible. They’ve made a full report back to the church here, a message about your love. It’s good work you’re doing, helping these travelers on their way, hospitality worthy of God himself!                                                                                                                                                             III John 1:5-6

I hope you have enjoyed some of my old blogs while I was away. My time off from the blog was the result of a vacation. Vacation was wonderful, but I am also glad to be back! My wife and I, along with my daughter and son-in-law, went on a long anticipated trip to Italy. I could not possibly convey all the things we experienced there because it was truly a cultural as well as an educational venture. I will just cover a few highlights, and I hope to expand them into a format that allows you to see some of the insights I was given.

As we travel to new places, and especially to places where the language and customs are different, we become more vulnerable. The things to which we have become accustomed are often no longer available. We become dependent on others for help in getting directions, as well as learning the way things are done in another culture. Simple kindnesses from others become larger than we may have expected were we not in that more vulnerable state.

I give as an example a small thing that illustrates the point. On our flight from Paris to Florence, the flight attendant was very busy, trying to please so many passengers in a short amount of time. I saw that as she was serving the drinks off the cart that time was running thin since the flight is not a very long one. I was actually feeling a little stress for her as she went down the aisle, patiently serving her guests. She wore a smile that could be seen even with a mask. She was attentive, giving time and consideration to each of us as if there were all the time in the world available. She even took the time to offer us encouragement about our concern about later airport connections.

A small thing. I am quite certain that she had no idea that she had made an impact on us, because this is simply what she does. She serves people with grace and kindness. But like I said earlier, when we are a little more vulnerable, we see things in a different light. Her kindness to a traveling stranger WAS noticed. I wonder how often we take for granted some little kindness given that may deeply affects others.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the mercy and kindness of strangers, Amen

Jesus wept.                                                                                                                                                                  John 11:35

Human tears are another of those incredible, intricate gifts of creation. I am continually amazed by what I learn about things we simply seem to take for granted. Tears, for example are more than a salty liquid which indicates our deep emotions. In fact, there are three kinds of tears. One type is for lubricating our precious eyes as a protection against foreign elements and dryness. A second type is a “response tear”. If you have peeled an onion or had smoke get into your eyes, you are familiar with “response tears”.  Finally, there is the type of tear which gets the most attention. It is the emotional tear.

I have read that there are hormones and enzymes in emotional tears which are actually healing when released by crying. Our tears are therapeutic. Indeed, many of my clients will become tearful in sessions, and note that they feel better after the release of crying. Crying is actually good for us, yet we men often go to great lengths to try to suppress the expression of those tears.

Sometimes at movies, I have been known to try to suppress crying. Once, at the end of Les Misérables my neck and chin actually hurt from trying to suppress my emotional response. Yes, that was kind of a dumb thing to do, but hey, I’m a guy.

Seriously though, I do not tend to cry easily, and maybe that is good or maybe not. I do think that the process of crying can be healthy. People often apologize for crying in public. I understand that this shows vulnerability, but it does not show weakness.

Tears are an amazing part of our bodily make-up. Maybe we should celebrate that a little more.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be in touch with the emotions you gave us, and more freely express them, Amen.

Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”                                                                                               John 8:32 (NIV)

Often when I see clients, I give them a few gestures to explain the value of expressing thoughts and feelings to others. I put my forefingers up to my forehead, and I make a gesture moving those fingers away from my head forward and outward. While I do this, I say to them, “the healing thing is to get stuff out of here and out to there”. The meaning of course is, those hidden, nagging things that are rolling around in our head can cause confusion and anxiety. We need to validate those bound up things (for the most part) with others, and unburden ourselves from those thoughts that have taken on so much more power than they really should. When those thoughts and feelings hit the light of day and the ears of caring listeners, healing can happen.

Talking to others can free us, as can other expressive outlets like art, music, dance, writing- you name it. Getting it out of our head into the light of the world around us sets us free. So, whatever medium strikes you- and there are many- make sure to express those thoughts and feelings that can bind us.

The truth of expression sets us free.  

Prayer: Thank you Lord for making us relational beings. This allows us to be healers to one another, Amen.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us                                                                                                                                                                                            Hebrews 12:1

Since I am a baseball guy, I have this image of a baseball player, maybe an aging outfielder playing what may be his last game. He knows it, maybe others do too, maybe they don’t. But he is on the field on October 1, the last day of the long season. His team is hopelessly out of the playoffs, and have been for weeks. The game he is playing has no value for either team, both just playing out the string. It is late in the game, his team down by four runs in the eighth inning, and fans, the few that showed up, have mostly long abandoned this contest.

The pitcher winds up and delivers a ball that the batter sends screaming on an arcing line toward the outfield. Runners on first and second move with the hit as it appears to be well out of fielding reach. Our aging outfielder responds immediately, tracking the ball as it soars into the outfield gap, headed for extra bases. He does not give up on it. He tracks it toward the wall, leaps at the ball and makes contact with the ball and the wall at the same time. He crashes down, the ball in his glove. He manages to right himself, and throw the ball into the cut-off man who completes the double play on the stunned runner who had occupied first base.   

The game, that season, are essentially meaningless, and those around him have essentially given up on it. The fans had mostly left, and the game meant nothing in the standings, yet he poured himself out on the last play of his last game ever.

This is the scenario I think about when I think about effort- effort to the end. The aging fielder is doing his very best to the very end, no matter what others thought about the meaning of it. It meant everything to him.

That dear readers, is how I want to go out. How about you?

Prayer: Lord, help us to finish strong, doing the right thing for the right reasons, Amen.

and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:32 (Living Bible)

I was speaking with a colleague recently about the privilege we have as counselors to be able to help people to speak their truth into existence. What I mean by that is, sharing a difficult experience, or letting go of a shameful experience, into the light of day with another human being is freeing. Often, we as counselors have the privilege of being that “trusted person” to whom a client relates a deep, painful part of their life so as to free them from the bondage of secrecy.

Once we can release that deeply held information, perhaps hidden due to shame or guilt or some other reason, we become free of the shackles of the secret. I call that speaking truth into existence so that it is no longer the shameful darkness which needs to be hidden. Rather, the unburdening process becomes the fact of life that makes us human.

Everyone has some kind of darkness in them, large or small. Sharing deeply held beliefs, or even traumatic events, frees the mind and soul. To the extent that we can bring such events into the light of day, there is freedom for all.

It does not need to be a counselor with whom people share such closely held parts of us. A safe, trusted partner, friend, confidant is essential for maintaining a healthy soul.

Prayer: Thank you Lord for the plan to give light to chase away darkness, Amen.

“Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be as wool                                                                                                                                                                   Isaiah 1:18

I have several clients who struggle with various things regarding their own self-esteem, being able to accept love, feeling forgiven, feeling worthy, etc. Many of us struggle with those very issues. Sometimes, we begin to believe that God has those same issues with us- that HE doesn’t love us, that HE does not forgive us, etc. It is easy for us to project our own attitudes onto others because it seems to satisfy and condone our own personal world-view.

I talk with clients about the need to be consistent with our views and to check out what the truth is about God’s view toward us. There are plenty of places in the Bible where God is explained as loving us right where we are; that he forgives our sins; that he will never leave us or forsake us, but sometimes, we are just not feeling that.

I ask people to just take the stance of agreeing with God. We can agree that we are sinners, and flawed human beings. We can also agree that we cannot save ourselves by our own best efforts. We can agree that he is sovereign and can, and will, do as he pleases, because we do not make up the rules.

 But if we agree to those things, we must also agree that he loves us like his children, that he will never leave us, even if it feels that he has. We must agree that God’s nature and character is not one of punishment, but of redemption and restoration.

Agreeing with God is a lot more peaceful than trying to maintain that our situation is irredeemable. The above passage explains that God wants us to reason together. Let’s just agree that God has our best interest at stake, and he will do anything to take care of his children.

Prayer: Lord, give us the means to be able to agree with you more, Amen

Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken at the right time.                                         Proverbs 25:11

I read a book several years ago titled A Theology as Big as the City by Ray Bakke.  Lots of good stuff in the book, but one of the big takeaways for me was the idea that the church ought to serve as a chaplain to the city, or the area where it is located. Chaplains serve people with spiritual and emotional care at times of stress and crisis. We have hospital chaplains, military chaplains, hospice chaplains, police chaplains, even a chaplain for the U.S. Congress. That tells me that we value the spiritual care for people in critical situations.

The same goes for just us ordinary folks too. Heaven knows that there are daily stresses in our life that could be helped with the aid of a chaplain once in a while. The local church- that is the people who are part of that church (all of us, not the “pastor” necessarily), should be chaplains to the community we live in. We need to be ready to serve as the chaplain to the neighbor, friend, or even stranger who needs help, giving spiritual and emotional support.

If people saw the local church as a place where healthy, caring chaplains came from, they may be more inclined to check out what that church has to offer.

Just a thought…

Prayer: Lord, help us see the needs around us, and give us the will and courage to reach to help, Amen

But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.                                                                Matthew 12:25 (New KJV)

In June, 1858, Abraham Lincoln addressed the Illinois State Republican Convention and gave a speech which contained the above scripture reference. He was speaking of the impending crisis that he saw in a nation deeply divided by the slavery issue. He could see that the inevitable outcome of policies which so divided our nation would be, ultimately, civil war.  

We are once again in a nation deeply divided, and that truth still remains. Any nation divided against itself will be brought to desolation. When Jesus made his statement to the hostile crowd around him, he was letting them know that his power was not from Satan, it was from God. Indeed, he was not casting out evil spirits through the power of the Evil One himself. That would be foolish on the face of it.

We would do well to heed the words of Jesus, because his words are the words of healing. We are not going to be saved individually or collectively by the policies of the Democrat or Republican parties.

It is time we unite in the power of the only One with power to save us.

Prayer: Lord, help us remember the truth of that motto that we put on our currency- “In God we trust”, Amen

A word to parents of graduates…

Congratulations on achieving a milestone! Loving and involved parents are perhaps the best indicator of future success for students. Your encouragement and support from early on in your child’s life sets the tone for a healthy self-image which lasts a lifetime. There is no substitute for unconditional love and acceptance, and the best news of all is that is the legacy you will set for your grandchildren. You can and do influence generations to come.

Allow your kids to dream big, and encourage them to live out their life mission. Remember, it’s their vision, not yours, that will propel them to achieve great things. You have been the “greenhouse” for their nurture and growth, now they can set out to accomplish what they have been equipped to do.

The values that you have inculcated in them will continue to become more prominent as they take on increasing responsibilities of jobs, families, and community involvement. What you have demonstrated in your day-to-day living will be much more significant than what you have taught them. Gradually, they are internalizing values that you have lived. What used to be external motivation is now becoming internal motivation that they have owned.

Your job is not finished by a long shot, because if your relationship with them has been set on solid ground, they will continue to seek your counsel, your support, and your companionship. Be prepared to enjoy this next exciting phase of life for both them and for you.

A word to graduates…

Congratulations on your achievement! Graduation is a milestone achieved through hard work and discipline. Indeed, learning hard work and discipline is the REASON you went to school. The information you learned is less important than the process that you learned. The discipline of delayed gratification, pushing through to the goal when you don’t FEEL like it, and the courage to come back from failure, are the most important tools that you can carry into the future.

I mentioned to your parents that they had a role in your self-image, and I trust that they imparted that to you well. You have the full responsibility of gaining your own self-esteem. I define self-esteem as the feeling you get when you have kept promises to yourself. If you can trust yourself by keeping those small promises that you made to yourself, you will have something that no one can take from you. From this comes confidence, willingness to take risks, and the knowledge that no one else will define who you are.

Finally, if you have not already done so, I hope that you have begun the process of determining your life mission statement. This is comprised of things you already have- namely, a recognition of your God-given talents and strengths; a set of life experiences (small now, but growing) which have helped to shape you; and your passion- what is the thing that you would do in this world even if you never got paid for doing it? Put those elements together, and you come up with the reason that you were put on planet earth. May you live out that mission for the benefit of yourself, and, more importantly, those around you.