The Furnace Filter

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows                                                                          Matthew 10: 29-31

Yes, it is an odd name for the blog today. The topic came up in a session with a client where I was explaining the Intentional Positive Self Talk (IPST for short) homework. Intentional Positive Self Talk, if you recall, is an exercise I ask clients to do at the end of the day- maybe right before nodding off to sleep. The object is to identify two or three behaviors from the day that you felt good about. Little decisions that were good for you or someone else that indicated a good decision, however small.

Hence, the furnace filter. My client was having a hard time coming up with things she did during the day because they never quite measured up to what she would consider a good decision worthy of recall at the end of the day. It was never quite enough for her. That is when I gave her an example from my own life.

I had on my “to do” list to change the furnace filter. I did that this morning because it was on my list, and I wanted it off the list. I wanted it to be completed. So, it may have taken me two minutes or thereabouts to do it. Clearly it was a small thing. But since it had been on my list, and I completed it, it qualified as an item for IPST. Yes, something that small can be a bigger thing if it checks a bigger box that just a “chore”. It became a promise I kept- a promise to myself, however small.

I used this illustration for my client because it was such a little deal- but it meant more in the larger picture. So, dear readers, what might your “furnace filter” story be?

Prayer: Lord, we know even the small things in our life are important to you. Thank you, Amen

“You Can Observe a Lot by Just Watching”

You Can Observe a Lot by Just Watching                                                                                                                                                                                          Yogi Berra

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.                                                                                                                         Jeremiah 29:11

We had a robin who had built her nest in a wreath on our front door. This must have been a good idea for her, since she is the second bird who has built a nest in that wreath this past spring. It was not, however, a good idea for us. She had built the nest pretty quickly, and we really only took notice after she had laid her eggs. We decided that we would give her as much privacy as one can, given that the nest is on a door that does need to open periodically.

We decided to use other egress out of the house when we would leave- usually the garage, or the door to the deck. She had become as comfortable as a bird can be under the circumstances, living just on the other side of our door, and always visible through the windows on the door.

One day while working in the front yard, I upset her and her boisterous mate who jealously helps her guard “their territory”. They squawk, yell, chirp and make whatever other bird sounds that signal – I suppose – fear and anger.

I thought about this from another perspective. This is my house, and they are mad because I am present on my own property. I mean them no harm. In fact, we have gone out of our way to give them a safe place, undisturbed (generally) for them to prosper. If they only knew that we are trying to help them and protect them so that they can launch their little ones into the world.

Yet they are skittish, angry at my presence, and feel threatened when we get too close.

Then I thought about how we sometimes treat God in his creation. We sometimes fail to remember his love and protection for us, even becoming angry at him when our plans go awry. He means for us to prosper, even when we don’t understand the situation.

Prayer: Thank you for your plans, your ways, which are higher than our ways, Amen

Exit Strategy

I spoke with a client recently who was recounting to me her experience in getting an MRI. I’m sure many of my readers are familiar with the MRI machine, a narrow tube which gives excellent images of the body for diagnostic purposes. The bad news is- it is a narrow tube.

Many people feel confined and claustrophobic in such an environment. This induces terror into some people who feel that they cannot deal with such a situation given the anxiety that it triggers.

I recently talked about this with a client who had experienced an early trauma where she had been pinned down and molested as a young girl. The idea of confinement in this long tube was frightening. It was a trauma trigger. Fortunately, she was given an exit strategy. If she simply squeezed the ball she had been given, that would signal to the staff that she needed help.

This reassured the client such that she was able to undergo the procedure with no mishaps, and she did not even need to squeeze the ball.  Why did this work? Because she had been given an exit strategy. She did not need to use it, but knowing it was there if she needed it made all the difference.

This was a great example of the anxiety tool kit that I talk with my clients about. Just knowing there is help, or a way out, makes all the difference. The idea that we have some control in an anxiety producing situation gives us what we need to get through the anxiety.

Even if we never have to use it.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us many tools to ease our anxiety. Thank you for your provision, Amen

Blocked View?

Dear friend, guard Clear Thinking and Common Sense with your life; don’t for a minute lose sight of them. They’ll keep your soul alive and well, they’ll keep you fit and attractive. You’ll travel safely, you’ll neither tire nor trip. You’ll take afternoon naps without a worry, you’ll enjoy a good night’s sleep. No need to panic over alarms or surprises, or predictions that doomsday’s just around the corner, Because God will be right there with you; he’ll keep you safe and sound.                                                                                Proverbs 3:21-26 (The Message)

Funny, or maybe not so funny, how others can see things in us that we cannot see in ourselves. I have had occasion several times this week to reflect to clients some positive traits that are almost invisible to the client themselves.

For one client I gave the visual analogy of my hand directly in front of my face so that all I could see was my hand. That, I said, (my hand) were the failures and missed objectives that he could see. His range of vision was blocked by the things he had missed on. As I drew my hand out further, I had a larger field of view, and I told him that if he can look beyond the things that he might have missed, there were a larger number of things that he had successfully accomplished.

As we get perspective, we can better see the whole field of behaviors that had been blocked by a narrow and blocked analysis. In fact, this client had been working almost heroically to care for an aging mother with cognitive decline. In his view, it was never enough. In my view, it was selfless caring.

I suggested that my view was a bit clearer since I had an objective picture, untainted by negative self-talk. Gradually, the client began to understand that perhaps his view was incomplete. Not totally in error or wrong, just incomplete. Sometimes, we just need a fresh look at things so that our picture becomes more complete.

What say you?

Prayer: Lord, help us to hear the input of others when our view might be inadequate, Amen

Cheers

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.                                                     John 13:34-35

Cheers was the name of a popular comedy show in the 1980’s and early 1990’s. It had a great cast, excellent writing, and it had a recurrent theme – a welcoming community- that resonated with a country that was increasingly becoming less connected socially.

The theme song of the show had a refrain that went:

 Sometimes you wanna go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name

I always thought that the things that hooked people about the show were the relationships of the quirky characters, the care that they had for one another, and that in a world that often felt uncaring and impersonal, where people felt increasingly isolated, at least at Cheers, “everybody knew your name”.

We seek community, yet we are embroiled with social isolation that often looks like pseudo community. The silos of social media and various news media that have a particular slant on news (both right and left), tend to drive people into competing camps.  

The early church thrived on a sense of community. They could survive persecution and privation because they were together. We need community more than ever these days as the political environment becomes increasingly bifurcated. A return to the simple commands of Jesus that Christians will be known for their love of one another can be a beacon of hope in a time when again we want that sense of belonging and acceptance that everyone needs.

Prayer: Remind us again of your commands to love one another, Amen

Friend of God

 Lord, who may go and find refuge and shelter in your tabernacle up on your holy hill? Anyone who leads a blameless life and is truly sincere.  Anyone who refuses to slander others, does not listen to gossip, never harms his neighbor,  speaks out against sin, criticizes those committing it, commends the faithful followers of the Lord, keeps a promise even if it ruins him,  does not crush his debtors with high interest rates, and refuses to testify against the innocent despite the bribes offered him—such a man shall stand firm forever.                                                                      Psalm 15 (The Message)

 So, if we say we are his friends but go on living in spiritual darkness and sin, we are lying.                   I John 1:6 (The Message)

In Psalm 15, David, also known as a “friend of God”, was asking how he could dwell closer to his friend. “How do I live in the tabernacle on the hill with you?” he asks. The answer follows in the rest of the short Psalm. Be sincere, and don’t slander others; don’t gossip; don’t hurt your neighbor; speak out against sin; call out those who do hurt others; keep promises, even if it hurts; do not crush others financially with high interest rates; don’t take bribes.

This is a list of behaviors that indicates how one should treat one’s fellow human being. Basic stuff, really, but it indicates that the way to please God- to be considered his friend and dwell closely with him- is to treat others well.

Many people want to call God their friend. We can cite the verses, sing the songs, and look pious, but if we do not treat others with dignity, respect and honor, God is not interested in having us share close space with him.

I am always amazed that the God of the universe, the first cause, Creator and mighty God, simply asks us to treat our brothers and sisters well, and he will be satisfied. The way to God’s heart is by loving others- even those we don’t really know.  He sent his son to be the sacrificial example of this.

Prayer: Lord, you would have us be close to you. What you ask in return is to have us favor your creation, Amen

Shiny Things

And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth.           Acts 17:11

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if anything is excellent, and if anything is praiseworthy, think about these things.                                                                      Philippians 4:8

If you have cruised the internet headlines on some sites, you will find many items disguised as news that are, in reality, “click bait”. You are undoubtedly aware of that phenomenon- click bait- and I say it is destructive to our nation and our soul. Two things, (likely more) that serve well as click bait are political stories, and sex. People are lured into those two hot button items that rouse the brain’s neural response system.

Many problems flow from this, of course. One is, people are drawn into rabbit holes of ads, lies, and lurid stories that typically lead nowhere. Do they edify and build you up? Uh, No. Do they bring us closer to truth? Almost never. Do they make our attitude positive for the day? Are you kidding?

But, they grab our eyes, and that is all that they are intended to do. They also may make us angry, feeding some pre-existing belief that simply reinforces an anger response. The headlines are written to draw us in. “Incredible admission by …”; or “beloved character states why he no longer has faith”; or “terrible news for_______  due to …”

The sex draws are pretty straightforward. Beautiful women, or men, in skimpy clothing are shown in click bait for real estate, medical news of no value, or just because they will get you to click the site – for anything. Sex sells, and anger sells. Unfortunately, truth often does not, especially in an age when truth is in short supply, and sensationalism is rampant.  

The Bible has some answers for this, but then again, truth often is drowned out. So my friends, I urge us all to simply be aware of what the lures are, because we are all drawn to the shiny things we see.

Prayer: Lord, help us to look beyond the surface that the shiny things offer. Help us to seek truth, Amen

The Search for Truth

But don’t let it faze you. Stick with what you learned and believed, sure of the integrity of your teachers—why, you took in the sacred Scriptures with your mother’s milk! There’s nothing like the written Word of God for showing you the way to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God’s way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us                                                                                                                                        II Timothy 3:16-17 (The Message)

I suppose the search for reliable truth has existed for as long as people have been on earth. Over the years, we have drifted from the sense of an “absolute truth” to a sense of relative truth, to a belief that nothing can be certain. In these days of accepting that there is no absolute truth, one “truth” is as good as another. This is seen in all aspects of life, and especially where a recognized authority weighs in on the matter. We question scientific truths, government institutions, and anything that may make us feel like our own personal beliefs may be challenged.

While “testing” for truth is critical in scientific pursuits, moral truth is a bit different matter. Although, as I have discussed in previous blogs, scientific truth is not incompatible with the absolute truth of God’s plans for his creation.

I believe that God has made us curious enough to explore our world, and to want to understand it better. In so doing, we understand God better. At the same time, I think that stipulating to an absolute truth- that is, that God has set forth ways for us to live peaceably and prosperously with one another in this world- is also a critical part of truth.

What then is the standard? For Christians, the Bible has stood as the standard of truth for centuries. I would contend that the Bible is a standard of truth that must be considered as a moral, ethical, spiritual, and even emotional fount of knowledge of how to live a healthy life, pleasing to God and to one another.

In the coming blogs, I will explore this a bit more.

Prayer: Father, thank you for giving us the ways to seeking truth, and ways to understand you better, Amen.

Finishing Strong

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us                                                                                                                                                                                            Hebrews 12:1

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.                                             II Timothy 4:7

As we are in the middle of the baseball playoffs, I thought that it would be fun to bring back an older reflection. I hope it touches your heart- I have had this story in my head for many years…

Since I am a baseball guy, I have this image of a baseball player, maybe an aging outfielder playing what may be his last game. He knows it, maybe others do too, maybe they don’t. But he is on the field on October 1, the last day of the long season. His team is hopelessly out of the playoffs, and have been for weeks. The game he is playing has no value for either team, both just playing out the string. It is late in the game, his team down by four runs in the eighth inning, and fans, the few that showed up, have mostly long abandoned this contest.

The pitcher winds up and delivers a ball that the batter sends screaming on an arcing line toward the outfield. Runners on first and second move with the hit as it appears to be well out of fielding reach. Our aging outfielder responds immediately, tracking the ball as it soars into the outfield gap, headed for extra bases. He does not give up on it. He tracks it toward the wall, leaps at the ball and makes contact with the ball and the wall at the same time. He crashes down, the ball in his glove. He manages to right himself, and throw the ball into the cut-off man who completes the double play on the stunned runner who had occupied first base.   

The game, that season, are essentially meaningless, and those around him have essentially given up on it. The fans had mostly left, and the game meant nothing in the standings, yet he poured himself out on the last play of his last game ever.

This is the scenario I think about when I think about effort- effort to the end. The aging fielder is doing his very best to the very end, no matter what others thought about the meaning of it. It meant everything to him.

That dear readers, is how I want to go out. How about you?

Prayer: Lord, help us to finish strong, doing the right thing for the right reasons, Amen.

Man Plans, God Laughs

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.                                                            Isaiah 55:9

The little statement above, Man plans, God laughs, comes, I understand, from an old Yiddish proverb. Typical of Yiddish proverbs, it is somewhat cynical, but reflective of mankind’s plight of trying to succeed on this earth. Can’t you just see Tevya from Fiddler on the Roof saying those words?

The essence of the proverb, of course, is that the best laid plans of people are always subject to change, even failure. God’s plans are higher than our pans, and he knows the direction of our life, even when we do not know (or even when we think that we do know!).

I think back to my own life, and decision points about my career. So many of the directions that my wife and I took, moving from Cincinnati, then to Dayton, Ohio, and subsequently to Troy, Ohio were already in the works of God’s plan because he could see what we did not see at the time. We regularly marvel at his provision for us, and we are always thankful for those decisions that we made, without really knowing the full story of what might lie ahead. Of course, we never really know the full story of what lies ahead of us.

Trusting that God DOES know is the whole key.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for your leading in our lives, Amen