By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”                                                            John 13:35

Throughout the history of the Christian Church, Christian witness to the world has been demonstrated through benevolent acts of grace to the community. The early Christians were known to take in babies abandoned by Roman families- unwanted babies who had been left out to die. Infanticide was then often considered as a form of birth control.   

Move on to the early and Middle Ages Church which established schools, orphanages, hospitals and schools for the benefit of the community. Today we see the legacy of those movements in so many schools, hospitals, healthcare organizations and non-profit corporations founded by Christian entities for the benefit of the community in which it exists.

The Christian movement has been marked by love of the community in which it resides, and even in places where it does not reside. Love of people, extension of grace and benevolence to friend and stranger are hallmarks of the faith.  

Today, the perception of some of the population is that the Church is known by what it disapproves of rather than for providing love and care for others. How sad that the message that Jesus lived and died for is so misunderstood by so many.

The Church needs to continue to be creative in how it shows love for a broken world- by providing solutions, rather than condemnation. Child care, job training, education, health and mental health care are just a few areas where the Church can impact the world in positive ways.

I am confident that the message still resonates – God so loved the world…

Prayer: Lord, you reminded us that Christians shall be known by their love, Amen

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.                                                                                                                                          Philippians 4:8-9

I recently spoke with a client about connection with her husband, and the fact that she feels right now like she is “on an island”. She feels isolated and alone. I discussed the idea that we are three-part beings, and that we need to be connected, as much as possible, on all three levels- spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

I asked her to think about connection with her husband as bridges from her island to the mainland. Those bridges are the emotional bridge, spiritual bridge, and the physical bridge.  Ideally, all three bridges remain open and unblocked, but sometimes, there are blockages. In that case, we need to look at what bridges might be open.

We decided that the spiritual bridge might be the most open at this time, so we discussed ways to work together to make that a way to spiritually connect at this time. We came up with a plan, and she will be discussing this with her husband.

The thinking here is that there is a solution to every problem if we just are willing to look at the positives that may lie before us. Just because one way is blocked does not mean that we cannot find a way to connect.

Assuming solutions is important. Assuming failure is failure.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see that there is a solution if we are willing to look for it, Amen

Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.                                        Proverbs 3:5-6 (The Message)

I recently saw a client who is going through the period of her life where she is in the “letting go” stage. That is the period of life when we are launching our late teen/ early adult age children, and at the same time letting go of aging parents. This is a hard period of life. Loss seems to be all around, and we need to find ways to reinvent our lives for a new stage.

I talked with the client about recognizing that this is a time when we are more acutely aware of the sense of loss of control. Our children are going off and making career and relational decisions that are exciting for them but maybe a bit scary to us as parents. Losing aging parents to declining health, or death, brings us to a more acute awareness of our own mortality. We are the next generation that is going to pass away. How do I redeem that remaining time so it is meaningful and impactful?

I suggested that our mindset is critical to this period in our life. If we can see that we are “letting go” vs. having things “taken away”, we will feel much more control of our emotions and our ability to accept change.

For my readers who are experiencing this stage, know that God is in control and we are not. Accepting that we are in a position that feels so precarious and unpredictable is hard, but it is for our ultimate good. It is growth which produces wisdom, and finally peace that passes all understanding.

Prayer: Lord, you are in control of our life, and of those that we love. We trust your care, Amen

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”                                               John 8:12

Here we are in early January-S.A.D time. S.A.D. of course stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder, a recognized form of depression that is triggered, or exacerbated, by the decreased amount of light we have this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere.

The symptoms are often subtle, but nonetheless they can be frustrating, and often are superimposed on an already existing depression, making the mood that much worse for the sufferer. Lethargy, increased appetite, (especially for carbohydrates), an increased sense of loss, loss of optimism, irritability, sleep disorders, isolation- the list can go on- are all possible symptoms.  

Most living things tend to move toward light as a source of energy. Of course you have noticed those houseplants that stretch themselves to the sun (phototropism) to get ever ray of sun that they can. Even those nocturnal critters around us need light to produce the energy for their food. However, when one is depressed, it is hard to muster energy to do the things we need to do for health.

From a behavioral /mental health standpoint, I insist that good behavior beats negative thinking. What do I mean by that? We sometimes need to force ourselves to do the things that are good for us. When one is depressed, that is very hard! Yet getting outside and experiencing even low levels of light, especially when exercising, is almost guaranteed to be of benefit.

As I was thinking of this blog, I was struck by the spiritual implications of seeking light. Jesus called himself the light of the world. I see this as both a spiritual and even a physical fact. He was the Creator of light, and he is the sustainer of life. Without light, there is no life.

Seeking the light of truth in Jesus, and seeking the healing light of the sun are almost two sides of the same coin in my reckoning. So, as you seek out the light of the sun (dim as it might be this time of year), remember the maker of the light, and your mood will become lighter as well.

Prayer: Lord, help us see the light in every way possible, Amen

“When a defiling evil spirit is expelled from someone, it drifts along through the desert looking for an oasis, some unsuspecting soul it can bedevil. When it doesn’t find anyone, it says, ‘I’ll go back to my old haunt.’ On return it finds the person spotlessly clean, but vacant. It then runs out and rounds up seven other spirits more evil than itself and they all move in, whooping it up. That person ends up far worse off than if he’d never gotten cleaned up in the first place.                                                                    Matthew 12:43-45 (The Message)

I was talking with a client the other day about her teenage daughter who admitted that she has an addiction to electronics- specifically her phone. First of all, I believe that such addictions are really a thing. Devotion to electronic media is insidious and it is clearly addictive. There is a built-in reward in the brain when the proper stimulation is provided. Media devices can provide the perfect stimulation to start an addictive process. Easy access, immediate gratification, and the initial sense of it being a benign influence all set up addiction potential easily.

Typical of all addictions, there needs to be initial abstinence before recovery can take place. Abstinence itself is not sufficient to sustain recovery, but it is necessary for the recovery to begin. Also true with recovery, it is not a journey to undertake alone. The addicted individual needs the humility to ask for help. In this case, she has caring parents who are willing to help her in the journey of recovery.

Finally, I suggested to the parents that simple abstinence will not help, because if there is nothing substituted for the addictive behavior, relapse is much more likely. I suggested that she become involved in healthy groups, sports, a part-time job or volunteer work. All such activities involve the input and cooperation with others, breaking the isolation and self-interest that electronic media feeds. I reminded them of the parable that Jesus spoke as a remedy for demonic oppression. I take that parable (cited above) to be a powerful metaphor for healing- a good principle of mental health.

Simply voiding our mind of damaging thoughts is not sufficient. We need to “fill the void” with behaviors that are positive and productive. If we do not do that, we are apt to drift back to those same damaging behaviors that gave temporary relief or pleasure.  

That is why the 12^th Step of Alcoholics Anonymous is so powerful. If a person in recovery directs themselves to the care and healing of others, they ensure their own sobriety.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the recovery plans that Jesus set forth for us, Amen.

The fool says in his heart,
    “There is no God.”

Psalm 14:1

I just finished a book about John Glenn and Ted Williams, titled Wingmen. The title is derived from their relationship as U.S. Marine pilots in the Korean Conflict. Both were veterans of World War II also, but Williams did not see combat in World War II. He was a pilot trainer in that war. Both wars cost Williams almost four years off a Hall of Fame Baseball career.

It is a touching and revealing story of two American heroes whose lives were quite different. Glenn was a devout Christian, and Williams was more or less an agnostic. Both were extremely talented and disciplined, and both were American heroes in their own right.

I was struck by John Glenn’s response to his space flight, which included being the first American to orbit the earth. When he did it, America was in the midst of the Cold War with the USSR, and his feat of orbiting the earth gave Americans something to cheer about when the Soviets were winning the space race.

Glenn remarked that upon seeing the earth from space (he also went into space on the Shuttle at age 75), that he could not imagine how one could deny the existence of a Master Creator. One does not need to see earth from space to recognize that, but I can hardly imagine the awe of such a sight!

I am reminded daily of the majesty and wonder of creation. Indeed, how can one not see the hand of an infinite Creator?

Prayer: Lord, your creation is beyond awe and wonder! Amen  

Some of you of a certain age will remember the song by Kenny Rogers and The First Edition, titled Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In). This was essentially an acid rock song that alluded to an LSD trip. Back then, such music was cutting edge, counter-cultural, and therefore, popular with people in my age group at the time.

I was not one to use drugs, especially psychedelic drugs, but the music was interesting, so I liked it. Back then, lyrics were not terribly important to me if I liked the beat and the innovation of the music. Also, it seems funny as I look back at the lead singer, Kenny Rogers, who went on to perform more traditional music, including country ballads and contemporary music that brought him much more fame and fortune than hard rock music.

But I digress! The point of today’s reflection is that the idea of periodically checking in on our own condition is a very healthy practice. No, not with the use of psychedelic drugs or hallucinogens, but with full awareness and mindful thinking.  

I challenge clients to take a little two-minute break during the day to honestly ask oneself, “What is going on with me right now?” Am I feeling sad, angry, happy, fearful, resentful, wistful, etc. Having determined what that feeling is, why am I feeling this?

We often neglect such check-ins because we get caught up in the day-to-day activities that demand external attention and energy. I suggest that we make it a regular practice to do some self-check-ins to see indeed “what condition our condition is in”.

It is a good, simple process, though it takes practice, and complete emotional honesty to really drill down and determine what we are feeling, and why. There are not always clear reasons for what we are feeling, and that is OK. That just means we need to continue to be aware of what things are affecting our emotions, and often, our behaviors.

So, periodically each day, “just drop in” to those emotions and see what condition you are in at that time!

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the ability to become reflective of our spirit and emotions, Amen

Point your kids in the right direction—
    when they’re old they won’t be lost.                                                                                                                 Proverbs 22:6 (The Message)

There are many complicated parts to the relationship of parent and child. Almost everyone can identify some way that one (or both, perhaps) of their parents made a mistake(s) in raising them. This is true- because it is! Parents are human and we are imperfect.

 Every one of us who is a parent can identify things we could have done for (or with) our kids when they were young. There are things that we could have said or not said, different decisions that we could have made with them, etc., etc. That being said, the vast majority of parents wanted to do the right thing by their kids. Their motives were good even if follow through was not perfect.

I often end up speaking to my clients (all of whom at this point are adults), about their need to have the approval of their parents. No matter the age of the client, or their parent, there is a part of them that wants approval from their parents. I suspect that there is good reason for this. When we are young, children are completely dependent upon their parents for survival. From just an evolutionary concept, it certainly behooves kids to please those who hold their life in their hands!

Beyond that, there is a bond that develops that encourages a nurturing relationship between parent and child. That need to please our parents changes over time, but the concept remains true. We want mom and dad to approve of us- to be proud of us.

I also talk with clients about the fact that parents almost universally did the best they could with what they had and what they knew at the time they were raising their kids. They did not intentionally set out to mess up their kids!

So much to be said about the complicated world of parenting!

More on this tomorrow my friends…

Prayer: Lord, we can better understand your love for us as we love our children…

“Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the Lord,
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be as wool                                                                                                                               Isaiah 1:18

I have several clients who struggle with various things regarding their own self-esteem, being able to accept love, feeling forgiven, feeling worthy, etc. Many of us struggle with those very issues. Sometimes, we begin to believe that God has those same issues with us- that HE doesn’t love us, that HE does not forgive us, etc. It is easy for us to project our own attitudes onto others because it seems to satisfy and condone our own personal world-view.

I talk with clients about the need to be consistent with our views and to check out what the truth is about God’s view toward us. There are plenty of places in the Bible where God is explained as loving us right where we are; that he forgives our sins; that he will never leave us or forsake us, but sometimes, we are just not feeling that.

I ask people to just take the stance of agreeing with God. We can agree that we are sinners, and flawed human beings. We can also agree that we cannot save ourselves by our own best efforts. We can agree that he is sovereign and can, and will, do as he pleases, because we do not make up the rules.

 But if we agree to those things, we must also agree that he loves us like his children, that he will never leave us, even if it feels that he has. We must agree that God’s nature and character is not one of punishment, but of redemption and restoration.

Agreeing with God is a lot more peaceful than trying to maintain that our situation is irredeemable. The above passage explains that God wants us to reason together. Let’s just agree that God has our best interest at stake, and he will do anything to take care of his children.

Prayer: Lord, give us the means to be able to agree with you more, Amen

 When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi                                   Matthew 2:16-18

Today is January 2, also known as “back to normal” day. The holiday season is behind us, (yes, it is not technically over until January 6) but today is back to work day for many. Holiday travel is mostly over, and today is the real start of the work year. Back to routine has its plusses and minuses. Now we get back to focusing on those daily tasks that have been somewhat suspended for about two weeks.

Now we, in the United States, face an election year that promises to test our will and resolve. We also see a world that is suffering with terrible wars and the suffering of innocents in war-torn Ukraine and Gaza. It is interesting that one of the lesser discussed effects of the birth of Jesus was the suffering of innocent families in Judea. Herod tried to purge the region of possible future rivals by ordering the death of male children under age two.  

Cruelty and evil remain in this world. We like to think that we have evolved as a human race, but the theme remains- without the restraint of the Holy Spirit, human cruelty and devious acts of evil remain.

So, as we return to “normal”, remember that “normal” for some people looks like fear, suffering, and sudden death from oppressors.  

Prayer: Lord, deliver us from evil, Amen