Name Your Team

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

I often am in the business of educating my clients about their anxiety and depression. Specifically, I give them tools to be able to handle such conditions, and one of the things I typically tell them is that fighting these problems is a team sport, not an individual one. By that I mean is that success in dealing with mental health issues is achieved by naming the teammates who are in the fight with you. Don’t try to go it alone.

Healing is done in community. Those that love us are wanting to engage in the fight with us. When the anxiety feels overwhelming, you call on a teammate. When you are awash in depression and feel defeated, call on a teammate.

What stops us from getting the help? I suppose there are lots of reasons. First, we must be willing to admit that fighting alone is not usually successful. Reaching out for help is difficult, it can be awkward, and it makes us feel vulnerable.

However, reaching for that help is the first victory. Just by admitting that we need help, want help, is the first and most important step in that healing. Contacting a therapist is an important step, but it is not the only one. Gather a team of people who care about you, and let them know of your plan to seek help.

You are on your way to healing.

Prayer: Lord, help us to see the power of a helping team, Amen

Contra Mundum

 “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

Matthew 14:12-14

Jesus used various opportunities to teach his disciples. Once, on the way to a party of a prominent Pharisee, he chose to heal a man on the Sabbath. This was just the warm-up for future paradoxical teachings that day.

Upon arriving at the house of the Pharisee, he noted that people were jostling for position at the head tables. He told his disciples to pick the lower, less prominent seats. In that way, they could be asked to move up to the front. If they chose a front seat, they risked the embarrassment of being asked to move down in the social pecking order.

Finally, he told his host, When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid.  But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.”

His message? Don’t follow usual social conventions. He was saying that his world view flew in the face of the world’s expectations. This is the concept of “contra mundum”. That is, going against the conventions of the world system.

We as Christians are always being asked to determine our values in light of how Jesus sees the world, not popular conventions. So, care for the poor and marginalized is a value that Jesus holds. We need to decide how that drives our own value system.

Prayer: Lord, help us to follow your road less travelled, Amen

Mind-Body Connection

What drains your spirit drains your body. What fuels your spirit fuels your body.”                           Caroline Myss

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.                                                                                                                                                                  Psalm 139:14

The mind-body connection is a fascinating thing. I mean, we really cannot sperate the two because they are part of the whole- the components- that, along with our soul makes us…us. Our physical health and our mental health are inextricably connected. In fact, both affect one another constantly and often in subtle ways.

People who are under chronic stress age more quickly than those under less stress. The presence of stress hormones coursing through our body, especially when they should not be present at high levels, causes us to die prematurely.

I was recently talking with a client who had been raised in a dysfunctional family, where neglect was a way of life. It is the only way she knew to perceive the world. We discussed the effects of this, and it can properly be called trauma, even though she was not physically or sexually abused. Her way of looking at the world, and relationships, was altered in a way that caused her chronic stress.

She was always vigilant of the world around her, a world which was not seen as particularly safe or supportive. She learned to “read people” and find ways to navigate situations to ensure that she was emotionally safe, perhaps even physically safe.

Eventually, her body began to tell her that this was not healthy. She got into counseling, found that vigorous exercise was a way that she could find control and safety, and she eventually came to have excellent insight into how to better navigate a world that was not perpetually threatening to her.    

Our health care system seems to do an excellent job at treating illnesses when they are discovered. But our system does not do very well at prevention of problematic lifestyle issues, and the chronic stresses that we face which can lead to physical health problems.

Our reminder- physical, spiritual and emotional health are inextricably tied together. Proper healthcare means that we pay attention to all aspects of our being.

Prayer: Lord, you have designed us to have true integration of mind, body and Spirit. Help us to care for all parts of us, Amen

The Wayback Machine

Feeling like visiting the wayback machine again. Even that reference, “the Wayback Machine” harkens back to a wonderful, underappreciated show from my youth, The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show”.

I got into the mood as I was grilling some pork chops for dinner, and listening to 50’s and ‘60’s music on Pandora radio. We had pork chops, corn on the cob, and tomatoes for dinner- the perfect summer fare, right? Yes! Except that tomatoes aren’t tomatoes anymore. You know, “old timey” tomatoes had great texture, wonderful fresh taste, and… well, they just don’t taste that way anymore.

Yes, I can perhaps rightly be accused of being that old guy in the rocker on the porch who says that “things aren’t like they used to be! Research tells us that our farming industry has made some trade-offs. Apples, tomatoes, and other produce are now less genetically diverse, more disease resistant, and much blander in flavor. They have a longer shelf life, are more uniform in size and color, but less appealing to the taste.

So, this is not so much a rant as a recognition that there is a price to pay for success in any endeavor. We just have to decide, is it worth it? Indeed, in the attempt to feed the world in an efficient and sustainable manner we must make some hard choices. I understand.

But I miss the tomatoes.  

That One Thing…

Are there things that you are putting off doing? I would bet that there are. Just like everybody, there are some things that you have avoided doing, or been “putting them off” for one reason or another. I have found that doing just one of those things- that phone call, that appointment- whatever it is, will give you the momentum to do more of those nagging tasks that are just waiting out there that you have said you were going to do someday.

Those little things that you are putting off are probably causing a low level of stress that you may have been carrying for a long time. By doing just one of those little tasks, you open the door to change your whole attitude and outlook.

Remember one of my sayings- “change one thing, change everything”. By overcoming the inertia of completing just one simple task, you open up the door for a relief of an underlying stress. You can change your whole outlook.

That’s it. That’s the whole message today. Do one thing, one little thing, that you have been putting off, and see how relieved you will feel!

Prayer: Lord, help us to do that one little thing today, Amen

Self-Awareness

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us                         I John 1:8

I recently had a discussion with a client about taking an honest inventory of our broken areas. Such self-awareness exercises are healthy and important aspects of not only maintaining good mental health, but of accepting our personhood.

We cannot hide from ourselves. If we try, it always comes out badly in the end. Being honest with God and ourselves about our resentments, our hurts, our disappointments etc. is a healthy exercise.

The paradoxical result is that we, having come to some better understanding of our broken areas, feel better about ourselves. We can be honest with ourselves. We can recognize some resentments that have become grievance narratives that we tell ourselves that have become the basis for negative images of our situation.   

Sometimes, we have grievances toward God that we do not want to admit or acknowledge. But let’s face it- God already knows our heart, so why not admit those disappointments? Phillip Yancey wrote a book many years ago entitled Disappointed With God. In that book, he simply acknowledges that as human beings, we have a mind and will that have expectations of God that will simply not happen the way we want.

So, my friends, the truth sets us free. Let us have a look at ourselves, and take that inventory that sets us free.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for making us beings that can question ourselves, Amen

Eye of the Needle

Again, I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”                                                                  Matthew 19:24

This passage, from Matthew chapter 19 is often referenced when discussing the role of wealth in salvation. I think the answer is that it has nothing to do with salvation. Yet what we do with wealth is all important.

I think Jesus gave this metaphor to let people know that wealth can actually be a hindrance to a God-directed life. Some people of wealth confuse their wealth with God’s blessing upon their life. Sometimes wealthy people feel that they have done it all on their own, and that they do not need God or anyone else in order to be just fine in life.

In other words, wealth can be interpreted in many ways that suit our personal narrative. I think Jesus used this opportunity to explain that wealth can be an obstacle for people in their search for eternal life. In this case, I think Jesus was saying, yes, it is just as impossible for wealth to get us into heaven as it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

Our own efforts and wealth can never get us into God’s Kingdom. It is only dependence upon God that can get us into his kingdom. Our own efforts will never be good enough.  

Fortunately, our remedy is trust in Jesus and submission to his plans for our life.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for your plans which are higher than ours, Amen

Christianity and Christendom

You are Peter, a stone; and upon this rock I will build my church; and all the powers of hell shall not prevail against it.                                                                                                                                              Matthew 16:18 (Living Bible)

Sometimes the words Christendom and Christianity are used interchangeably. They are not the same. Christendom is a term applied to countries and states where Christianity has historically been the dominant religion. In the Middle Ages and into the Age of Discovery, the concept of “Christendom” was used as a cover to give sanction to exploring powers to “Christianize heathen populations” and win those souls for Christ.  

I think we all know the problems that came from colonization, and the overpowering of indigenous cultures all in the name of “Christianizing”. This is to say that we can put sanitized labels on our behaviors in the name of God.

Alexis de Tocqueville, a renowned European scholar of the 19th century who loved American ideals, said “In Europe, Christianity has permitted itself to be intimately united with the powers of the earth. Today these powers are falling and it is almost buried under their debris.”

His warning should be well heeded. To the extent that Christianity allies itself with governmental power, both suffer.  Neither Christians, nor the Church, need the power of a national state to prosper or to have influence. Indeed, the church only has influence to the extent that it is NOT allied with the governing state.

I am concerned about the people who advocate for Christian Nationalism. This is not healthy, neither for Christianity, nor the nation.

Prayer: Lord, you told us the Church will prevail through your power, Amen.

A Memorial

Just a brief word today my friends. I will be participating in a memorial service this morning for a man named David Phipps. He passed away on July 10, succumbing to the devastating effects of Lewy Body dementia.

I knew David for many years as we both served in our church. He was a simple, yet profound man- a man loved by so very many. He was kind, gentle, intelligent and a lover of people. He was an educator and counselor who impacted so many young lives- and those of us who were not so young. His truly was a life well-lived, and I am certain that the service will honor him, as well as his father in heaven.  

I am guessing that you may know someone like David – a kind, self-effacing person who drew no attention to himself, but showed much interest in you. If you do, take the opportunity soon to tell that person how much you care about them. We sometimes do not get the time with people that we think we may have.

Intentional Gratitude

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts Colossians 3:16

I was speaking with a client the other day about gratitude as a remedy to the “what ifs”. He stated that he sometimes caught himself asking “what if I had not married?”; “what if I had children?”; “what if I had not experienced my childhood medical issues?”

The problem with these questions is that they helped inform a victim narrative. He recognized that he is not a victim, but an overcomer. He knows that gratitude is the proper remedy for negative thinking. We discussed the idea that gratitude can be either intentional or emotional in origin. That is, we can be grateful because we feel the emotion of gratitude, or we can intentionally offer gratitude, even when we don’t necessarily “feel it”. So, even if we are not feeling especially blessed on a certain day, we intentionally recognize the blessings we have.

I think that is a wonderful mindset to have.

Prayer: Lord, we are indeed grateful for our blessings, seen and unseen, Amen