Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

I Corinthians 13:6-8

I recently had a discussion with a client about the tension between control and trust. It seems that the more control we seek, the less we trust. The more trust we have, the less need for control. When we seek to have a lot of control, it does not usually come from a position of trust- it is from a position of fear. People, religions, governments, etc. which try to exert high control seem to have little trust in the inherent nature of themselves or their mission if it must be maintained by force.

For example, during the Inquisition period, the Church would seek out “heretics” or “infidels” or “witches”, and through torture or coercion of some type, try to bring that person back into the “right beliefs” of the Church. Beginning in the 13^th Century until the early 17^th Century, such practices waxed and waned in Europe. The net effect was not only failure to control the thinking of people, it left a permanent stain on the institutional Church.

If we rely upon some type of external control, violent or subtle, in order to ensure compliance to certain beliefs, we have given up on faith and trust, and leaned into control. So, it is true in relationships as well. Partners who do not trust the other partner will try to control the other’s behavior- directly or indirectly. The result is less trust, more distance, and resentment.

We seem to naturally want to control so many things around us, but control is elusive and often selfish. Trust is the better way to maintain and enhance relationships.

Prayer: Lord, help us to trust more and try to control less, Amen

Mankind, He has told you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God.                                                    Micah 6:8

I recently saw the movie Bonhoeffer. I recommend it as a great example of the way to speak truth to power. Jesus was a perfect example of this principle. In the end, it cost Jesus his life. Bonhoeffer followed the example of Jesus and ended up being killed for his bold courage in standing up to Hitler.

The Christian example is not one of seeking power, but rather speaking truth when injustice is being perpetrated. Bonhoeffer resisted as Hitler nationalized the German Church, and Bonhoeffer founded the “Confessing Church” in Germany as a remnant of truth in a country that had given in to Hitler’s reign of terror. He spoke out against Hitler’s treatment of Jews and minorities, and it ended up costing him his life.

While the truth sets us free, it also can have a high cost.

Prayer: Lord, give us the courage to speak the truth, no matter the cost, Amen

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.                                                                                                                                   Jeremiah 31:3

Sometimes we just have to learn to accept things before we can begin to understand them. Sometimes, we will never understand. We are wired to be curious, to try to figure things out. That is a good thing. It drives us to learn, to grow. However, there are some things we just need to accept.

In addictions, the addicted individual may never really understand the biological dynamics of their addiction. Understanding the addiction won’t likely help to overcome the addiction. Only abstinence from the substance will give the addict the needed space to heal and get some recovery under his/her belt, but they may never really understand why they became addicted. They simply accept that their best efforts left them addicted, and that acceptance of the help of friends, family and sober support is what they need to stay clean.

Only after acceptance can understanding begin.  Grace works that way. We do not really understand grace, we simply accept that it has been given to us. If we can accept the beauty of grace, unmerited favor, we can enjoy its benefits.

I’m not sure that we will ever understand why God loves us as he does. But just because we don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t true. (Yes, there are a lot of double negatives here, but hang with it!) Some people try to overthink this because they feel unlovable. “How can God love me when I don’t love myself”, some may say.

I say, don’t try to understand that- just accept it.

Prayer: You have made us to be curious, to try to understand. Thank you for that. More than that we need to accept your love for us, extravagant as it is, Amen.

Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his;
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture                                      Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.                                                  Psalm 100:3-5

As we approach Thanksgiving Day here in the United States, I think that the above passage is timely. Suffering and hurt are always present with the human condition, but our mandate to be thankful is not dependent upon lack of suffering. So many people around the world are suffering devastating wars, such as the people in Ukraine, and people in Gaza, to just name two situations.  

Perhaps you are suffering from illness or personal loss at this time. Yet we are called upon to be thankful for life itself. All good gifts come from God, and we are to recognize this as his humble creation.

Prayer: Lord, we are a thankful people, Amen

He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak                            Isaiah 40:29

Often, other people see things in us that we do not see in ourselves. One of the things that I do as a counselor is get to know my clients, and try to see in them things that they may not see for themselves. Indeed, clients give me permission to speak into their lives, giving them constructive feedback, as well as encouragement. It is an act of humility on the part of a client to give such permission, especially to someone that they do not know. They are showing a level of trust in me before they even know me. I deeply appreciate that trust, and it is my job to honor that by being truthful, holding their best interest at stake, keeping their information confidential, and seeing them as God does as best I can.

As people unfold their story to me, I can gradually get to know how they see the world. I also begin to see strengths in them that they may not see, or maybe they have never given the chance to develop. It is my job to look for those strengths so that we can employ them in dealing with problems, or helping them to manage those strengths better. Remember, strengths to an extreme can become weaknesses, so we must learn to manage those strengths well.

We saw when Jesus chose his disciples that he picked people who were not, in the world’s eyes, the most successful people, or the most learned people. Yet Jesus saw something in them that they did not see in themselves.

John, for example, was called, along with his brother, “a son of thunder” because he had a volatile temper, and an arrogant view about his position in life. Simon, later called Peter, was an exuberant, impulsive, man who frequently spoke before he thought.  He was not the most stable of people in making commitments.

Yet Jesus saw in them characteristics that they did not see themselves. Their affiliation with Jesus transformed them into the men they could be. Jesus had seen that potential, and he spoke that into them.

John later became the loving apostle who wrote such beautiful commentary on how we should love one another. Volatile Simon became “Peter, the Rock”, the one on whom Jesus said he would help build his church. Imagine Simon hearing that he was a “rock”- a solid, capable man of strength. Sometimes, when we hear about the person who we CAN become, we DO become that person.

Prayer: Father, thank you for people who see things in us that we do not see for ourselves. Give us the humility to receive it well, Amen.

Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.  And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man             Luke 2:51-52

The little passage above is packed with information. This is the end of the story of when Jesus was separated from Mary and Joseph on the journey from the Temple. Jesus had assured them that he was fine. He had just “been about his Father’s business”, he innocently said. The young Jesus had no idea about how parents worry about their children. In fact, he was a kid himself- a kid that needed to mature.

The passage states that Jesus did indeed “grow in wisdom and stature”. Yes, he later grew up and understood the worries and concerns of adults. The passage also states that Mary “treasured all those things in her heart”. The love and concern of a mother stays with her all the time, even when she is old and her children are adults. The same is true of fathers. If our kids are OK, we are OK. If they hurt, we hurt. That is just how it works, but young Jesus was not quite old enough to understand this facet of human parenthood. Jesus needed to grow and mature. Having been born into this world as a baby he, like all children, needed to grow and learn.  

So, as we soon embark upon this Christmas season, it is good to remember that Jesus- that child whose birth we celebrate- needed to grow and mature. And his earthly parents, loved him, worried about him, and cared for him.   

Prayer: Lord, protect our children no matter their age, Amen

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.

Psalm 139:14-18

I work with a lot of people who have experienced trauma in their life. Now, part of living involves experiencing trauma of some degree. The pain of loss of a loved one is trauma. More significant trauma is experienced by soldiers in war, first responders, and victims of violence, to name just a few groups.  

When I talk with my clients, I take a history, and I ask about family of origin, possible abuse when they were young, and significant memories that they may have found to be disturbing. Often, clients discuss some event(s) that could indeed constitute a trauma.

We are affected, indeed sometimes shaped, by traumatic events in our youth. When I discuss such things with my clients, I am always grateful for my childhood, one devoid of drama and trauma. My parents were devout Catholics who raised their family in the Church, gave us love and care, and provided for our physical and emotional needs. They were far from rich financially, but they were rich in a culture of care, love, faith, and responsibility.

As we approach the Thanksgiving season, this is one of those things to be thankful for- a loving, caring and nurturing family of origin. I am sure that not all of my readers have enjoyed the same story of love and protection that I was blessed with. But if you were, share it with your children and grandchildren.

Thank God for how he provided for you long before you were born.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for loving parents who guide and protect their families, Amen

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.                                                                                                                                                                     Luke 1:38

In former blogs, I have talked about the unique use of the word “grace” (charitoo) used only twice in the Bible. Once it was used as the word to describe the grace given to Mary when she assented to accepting the role of “God carrier” from the angel who declared her to be the vessel to carry Jesus into the world. The other instance is when Paul told the Ephesian believers that they had that same grace to carry the message of healing to a broken world. So, I think we have established that this seems to be a unique calling that we have, akin to Mary’s role as giving birth to the Savior.

It also struck me that Mary had a say in this. This was not some edict that God enforced on Mary. While she had been set apart for this important mission, she did have a decision to make. She did not need to sign up for this assignment that was fraught with pain, anxiety and uncertainty. She could have said “No”.

But Mary did not say no. Because of that, we have a wonderful plan, an unsurpassed story that we celebrate every year. Mary agreed to be the human host of the “Lamb of God”.

So too do we have a say in our part of the plan of being “God carriers”. We can agree to it and bear the costs attendant with it, as well as the rewards of it. Mary’s agreement was the start of God’s plan of redeeming his lost sheep. Our agreement keeps that legacy going forward.

Prayer: Every day we have the opportunity to say “Yes” to your plan. Give us continued grace to do so, Amen.

“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men”                              Luke 2:41-52

Prayer: Father, your plans are higher than our plans, your ways higher than ours. Thank you for the plan of sending Jesus to be with us, and to give his life for ours, Amen.   

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

 So, they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.  When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.  But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.   Luke 2:15-20

And the sign said “The words of the prophets are written on subway walls, and tenement halls, and whispered in the sounds of silence…”

Paul Simon

Isn’t it interesting that shepherds were the first bearers of the good news of the birth of Jesus into the world. It is my understanding that shepherds were people who lived on the margins of society. They were living in the fields, rough and rugged men who had courage and tenacity. They had to guard sheep from predators, and they had to risk their lives for their flock at times.

The angels sought these men out and gave them the gift of being the first witnesses of a world transformation. It seems fitting that the shepherds, those on the margins, were the first to bear witness of God’s grace.

Throughout his ministry, Jesus came to give the good news to the poor. Here the poor were the first to bring his good news to the world. They were the ones to announce that One who came to give his life for his flock had come. The Good Shepherd had been born.

Prayer: Lord, you would have the poor and marginalized speak the truth to the world! Amen