Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.  And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man             Luke 2:51-52

The little passage above is packed with information. This is the end of the story of when Jesus was separated from Mary and Joseph on the journey from the Temple. Jesus had assured them that he was fine. He had just “been about his Father’s business”, he innocently said. The young Jesus had no idea about how parents worry about their children. In fact, he was a kid himself- a kid that needed to mature.

The passage states that Jesus did indeed “grow in wisdom and stature”. Yes, he later grew up and understood the worries and concerns of adults. The passage also states that Mary “treasured all those things in her heart”. The love and concern of a mother stays with her all the time, even when she is old and her children are adults. The same is true of fathers. If our kids are OK, we are OK. If they hurt, we hurt. That is just how it works, but young Jesus was not quite old enough to understand this facet of human parenthood. Jesus needed to grow and mature. Having been born into this world as a baby he, like all children, needed to grow and learn.  

So, as we soon embark upon this Christmas season, it is good to remember that Jesus- that child whose birth we celebrate- needed to grow and mature. And his earthly parents, loved him, worried about him, and cared for him.   

Prayer: Lord, protect our children no matter their age, Amen

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!
    How vast is the sum of them!Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.

Psalm 139:14-18

I work with a lot of people who have experienced trauma in their life. Now, part of living involves experiencing trauma of some degree. The pain of loss of a loved one is trauma. More significant trauma is experienced by soldiers in war, first responders, and victims of violence, to name just a few groups.  

When I talk with my clients, I take a history, and I ask about family of origin, possible abuse when they were young, and significant memories that they may have found to be disturbing. Often, clients discuss some event(s) that could indeed constitute a trauma.

We are affected, indeed sometimes shaped, by traumatic events in our youth. When I discuss such things with my clients, I am always grateful for my childhood, one devoid of drama and trauma. My parents were devout Catholics who raised their family in the Church, gave us love and care, and provided for our physical and emotional needs. They were far from rich financially, but they were rich in a culture of care, love, faith, and responsibility.

As we approach the Thanksgiving season, this is one of those things to be thankful for- a loving, caring and nurturing family of origin. I am sure that not all of my readers have enjoyed the same story of love and protection that I was blessed with. But if you were, share it with your children and grandchildren.

Thank God for how he provided for you long before you were born.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for loving parents who guide and protect their families, Amen

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May your word to me be fulfilled.” Then the angel left her.                                                                                                                                                                     Luke 1:38

In former blogs, I have talked about the unique use of the word “grace” (charitoo) used only twice in the Bible. Once it was used as the word to describe the grace given to Mary when she assented to accepting the role of “God carrier” from the angel who declared her to be the vessel to carry Jesus into the world. The other instance is when Paul told the Ephesian believers that they had that same grace to carry the message of healing to a broken world. So, I think we have established that this seems to be a unique calling that we have, akin to Mary’s role as giving birth to the Savior.

It also struck me that Mary had a say in this. This was not some edict that God enforced on Mary. While she had been set apart for this important mission, she did have a decision to make. She did not need to sign up for this assignment that was fraught with pain, anxiety and uncertainty. She could have said “No”.

But Mary did not say no. Because of that, we have a wonderful plan, an unsurpassed story that we celebrate every year. Mary agreed to be the human host of the “Lamb of God”.

So too do we have a say in our part of the plan of being “God carriers”. We can agree to it and bear the costs attendant with it, as well as the rewards of it. Mary’s agreement was the start of God’s plan of redeeming his lost sheep. Our agreement keeps that legacy going forward.

Prayer: Every day we have the opportunity to say “Yes” to your plan. Give us continued grace to do so, Amen.

“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men”                              Luke 2:41-52

Prayer: Father, your plans are higher than our plans, your ways higher than ours. Thank you for the plan of sending Jesus to be with us, and to give his life for ours, Amen.   

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

 So, they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.  When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.  But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.  The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.   Luke 2:15-20

And the sign said “The words of the prophets are written on subway walls, and tenement halls, and whispered in the sounds of silence…”

Paul Simon

Isn’t it interesting that shepherds were the first bearers of the good news of the birth of Jesus into the world. It is my understanding that shepherds were people who lived on the margins of society. They were living in the fields, rough and rugged men who had courage and tenacity. They had to guard sheep from predators, and they had to risk their lives for their flock at times.

The angels sought these men out and gave them the gift of being the first witnesses of a world transformation. It seems fitting that the shepherds, those on the margins, were the first to bear witness of God’s grace.

Throughout his ministry, Jesus came to give the good news to the poor. Here the poor were the first to bring his good news to the world. They were the ones to announce that One who came to give his life for his flock had come. The Good Shepherd had been born.

Prayer: Lord, you would have the poor and marginalized speak the truth to the world! Amen

…casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…

II Corinthians 10:5

One of the facets of anxiety is a self-defeating part. Yes, anxiety is marked by worry- often irrational worry. However, another facet of anxiety can be an inexplicable negativity toward oneself. This aspect of anxiety is frustrating and difficult because it is so personal, so introspective, and it feels so defeating.   

I recently spoke with a client who was experiencing this aspect of his social anxiety, and I talked with him about positive self-talk. Positive self-talk is the intentional action of recounting positive things that we did or do. For example, I suggested that this client (who also has trouble sleeping due to chronic anxiety), to practice positive self-talk at bedtime about his good decisions during that day. It can be anything. He could recount perhaps exercising when he didn’t feel like it; or having resisted that junk food; helping a friend; encouraging someone; working hard at the job…

Yes, it could be anything. These are not artificial affirmations. These are simple recognitions of the good things we did that day. We tend not to recall such things because we see them as “just normal things” that people do. While that is true, we are trying to overcome an insidious anxiety that would have us believe that we are flawed or worthless. I just call this “fair fighting.”  

We don’t make up things about ourselves that are not true. We are simply valuing parts of ourselves that anxiety might have us ignore. Yes, this needs to be an intentional practice, and it is worth the doing. Telling ourselves the truth is an important way to take control of negative thoughts of anxiety.

Prayer: Lord, you have made us in your image, loved by you. Help us also to honestly love ourselves, Amen

Verb: (used without object)

to feel, show, or express grief, sorrow, or regret.

to mourn deeply.

Noun:

an expression of grief or sorrow.

a formal expression of sorrow or mourning, especially in verse or song; an elegy or dirge.                                                                                                       

(Dictionary.com)

Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge                                  Psalm 62:8

There are situations in our personal life, and in world events where the only response we have is “lament”. This word is either a noun or a verb, depending on the usage and intent. We can actively lament something e.g., mourning, or have deep regret, for example. We can also be in a “state of lament” and perhaps in that state, express it, as the definition suggests, in a formal way.

Either way, it is important to become aware of this lament and own it. As I have stated before, some emotions come out in ways that are not good indicators of the true feelings inside. For example, fear may come out looking like anger. Sadness may come out as sullenness or withdrawal, and so on.

There are numerous instances in the Bible where people like David, and Jeremiah, Amos, and many others described their state of lament. They cried out to God for various situations wherein they saw themselves as helpless, and in the pain of mourning or deep sadness.

Getting in touch with our state of lament is healthy and important. Often, world situations such as the misery and violence in Gaza and Israel, the horrific invasion of Ukraine, mass shootings, dire poverty, and natural disasters cry out for lament. Personal tragedies such as a devastating illness also can bring us to a state of lament.

Lament does not necessarily mean “helpless”, but it is a recognition of the current suffering we face. That recognition may help us to share it with others, and get the help and support we need at the time.

So, we come to realize that lament is part of life, and that we are not alone in it.

Prayer: Lord, you have designed a crucial plan where you are our refuge in times of trouble, Amen

 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes                                                             James 4:14

Our pastor had a sermon yesterday about passages in our life. He talked about how we grow from using that little toddler seat on wheels, and how that progresses to bikes, cars, and often, eventually, to a walker. We progress quickly through this life. In fact, as we age it seems to go more quickly than when we were young.

That is because it is true!

No, time progresses at the same rate, at least in the dimension in which we live, but our perception of it does change. Why is that? Well, it is simple math.  Think of it this way. When we are, say, 10 years old, one year of our life is 10% of our entire life. That is a sizable chunk!

Now consider what one year is in the percentage of my own life of 74 years. That would be (I did the math) 1.35%. That does not feel like very much- because it isn’t! So, my experience of the length of a year is very different than that of my 10-year-old grandson.  A year is just a blip for me. For my grandson, waiting a year for Christmas or his birthday feels like an eternity.

I recall one year when I was just a kid, maybe 7 or 8, my older brother Ed (Ed, you may not remember this but I do!) said to me on Christmas Eve- the best day of the year ever by the way- “just think, only 366 days until next Christmas!”

Fortunately, he told me on Christmas Eve and I was excited to open presents that night. Had he told me the next day that Christmas was 365 days away, I would have been pretty bummed out. But my brother was kind to me, as usual.

My point here is this- life is short and must be savored. We need to cherish every day, every hour, and use it to God’s glory and for our good, and the good of others.

Prayer: Lord, you give us the gift of life daily. Help us to use it wisely and well, Amen

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves    Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

…Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?                                       Job 2:10

Suffering. It is a part of the human experience. It is unavoidable, much as we try to avoid it. It is not a matter of if we will suffer, but when we will suffer. It is natural to try to avoid or minimize suffering, obviously, but it is unreasonable to think that we can simply completely avoid it.

So, as suffering is an inevitable travelling partner of human beings, it makes sense to have a philosophy of how we will approach suffering. Suffering comes in many flavors- physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, mental- in every way we can perceive the world- and often when one area is affected, all are affected.

Our attitude about suffering will be the indicator of how we survive it. As the great Viktor Frankl wrote “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” As a concentration camp survivor in World War II, Frankl was deeply acquainted with suffering. He understood that no matter what his Nazi captors could do to him, they could never control his mind and attitudes. That was under his control.

The famous Biblical sufferer, Job also had a great philosophy toward suffering. He said “Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?” He accepted that in this life, there is both joy and suffering, and that he could not blame God for the way this human experience on earth works.

Finally, we serve a God who chose to send his son to the earth to experience that very suffering that we all share. Jesus was a man “acquainted with grief” so that he could fully understand his creation.

So, my friends, we are joined in a fellowship of periodic suffering in our lifetime. The question is, how will we redeem it for good?

Prayer: Lord, you have given us resources to deal with suffering. Help us to use those resources wisely, Amen

Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking. It is for peace that you were chosen to be together in one body. And always be thankful.                                                   Colossians 3:15

I recently had a conversation with a client who has suffered from chronic anxiety. Recently, he has had an adjustment to his antianxiety medication which he feels has been helpful. As a former pilot, he used the analogy of being in a cockpit where there are many alarms that blink, and one needs to pay attention to their warnings. Most are standard alerts that one must deal with, but one can be overwhelmed with the volume of such alerts.

He stated that anxiety is like a blizzard of alerts going off in his brain, and he must attend to the ones that are most important. There is a sort of filter that helps deal with such alerts. With no medication, the alerts in his head all seem to have equal value of assessing danger. Everything looks like potential disaster. It can feel overwhelming. With the medication, he feels that he is better able to filter the alerts that are critical, and to defer the ones that are not of immediate priority.

Indeed, we all filter our thoughts and responses. A healthy prefrontal cortex helps us to not “say the quiet things out loud”. A good anxiety filter helps us to prioritize the things that are critical and in need immediate attention from those things that can be deferred or even disregarded.

So, the role of medication is not to solve our thinking problems, but to give us the extra margins to better filter the things that are critical, and things that can be deferred.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the amazing way you have given us the mechanisms to process and relay information, Amen