“It’s better to look ahead and prepare, than to look back and regret.”                                – Jackie Joyner-Kersee

I was speaking the other day with a client about the concept of the “future self”. The client has used this technique for some time to good effect. The premise is quite simple- when you are considering the advisability a decision in the moment, consider how your future self will evaluate that decision.

That could be yourself twenty minutes into the future, twenty days into the future, or twenty years into the future. The point is, the importance of taking time to think about the results of that decision sometime in the future.

Often, we feel pressured to make decisions about purchases, relationships, even simple behaviors without thinking of the results on our future self. Regarding a major purchase, I know that I have always felt that a decision would be as good tomorrow as it is today. In the past, car salespeople would sometimes apply pressure to make a decision quickly or the deal might go away. At that point I would say, if it goes away, maybe it wasn’t the deal for me. I always wanted time to make a clearheaded decision about a major purchase.

That is not to say I always made wonderful decisions about buying cars. But at least my future self- the one who lives in that future now- feels generally pretty good about those past decisions.

Prayer: Lord, you have given us discernment to use your resources. Thank you for those opportunities, Amen

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible….                         Hebrews 11:1-3

Hey readers, today is another one of my celebrations of little known, fun, and mostly useless facts! So, here goes.

On this date in 1927, Werner Heisenberg formulated the uncertainty principle. This fundamental concept in quantum mechanics states “that it is impossible to simultaneously know both the position and velocity of a particle with certainty.”

Why is that a big deal? Well, this concept shook many of the most renowned physicists in the world at the time. The atom was being explored and understood in amazing ways, but this concept confounded the scientific world  (and still confounds me!).

The concept of “not knowing” is something that scientists accept, but it leaves them curious and even restless to find certainty. Science looks to find answers and it will not rest until explanations are found. Trouble is, there are often more questions than answers.

Accepting uncertainty is an act of humility, and an act of wisdom. Knowing that we do not know is a first step in learning and growing.  

Of that, I am certain!

Prayer: Lord, we accept that there are many things we do not understand, but we do trust in your provision, Amen

“In the happiest of our childhood memories, our parents were happy,”                                  – Robert Brault

I was speaking with a client recently about the trauma of his early childhood where he was essentially abandoned by a mother who had gone through a series of men in her life. My client never really knew his father, and he was left to manage on his own from an early age.

He is currently struggling with how to deal with his situation. His mother takes no ownership of her behaviors, and fails to appreciate what she had done to her children. My client has overcome this trauma exceedingly well, having married, and become a successful father, husband, and businessman. He is a good dad.

Yet, he has pain over his mother’s emotional dismissal of her family, and her failure to understand how her actions caused them a great deal of pain over the years. He is left with trying to make sense of the family chaos in which he was raised.

This led to our discussion about the fact that anyone can father or mother children, but it is a special gift to be a mom or a dad. Having just passed Mother’s Day, we wrestle in our hearts and minds with those mothers who may not have been very good moms. We strive to be loving moms and dads, and a large majority of parents do their absolute best, imperfect as we are. Indeed, we are grateful for the multitudes of parents who take seriously the privilege and responsibility of being great moms and dads.  

Prayer: Bless us all as parents, and Lord, give us strength to be great moms and dads, not just mothers and fathers.

For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
 He has removed our sins as far from us
as the east is from the west.                                                                                                                                    Psalm 103-11-12

As I see it, baseball can be a very useful metaphor to reflect life. There are a lot of life lessons that baseball can teach, and today I share one.

Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens were pitchers on the New York Yankees for a number of years. Both were highly successful to say the least. Roger Clemens is considered by many as one of the greatest pitchers of all time. Andy Pettitte is a borderline Hall of Famer, and may someday get into that hallowed place.

Both of them had a problem.

Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens were named in the Mitchell Report (a commission to investigate performance enhancing drugs) as users of the substance HGH- Human Growth Hormone. HGH was banned by baseball due to its misuse by players. During the investigation, Pettitte was interviewed and mentioned that teammate Roger Clemens had introduced him to the substance when Pettitte was rehabbing an injury. Clemens himself had been widely known to use HGH and other performance enhancing substances, but he denied such use with vehemence.

Pettitte, soon after the report, acknowledged his use of HGH as an aid to rehabilitation. Human Growth Hormone does indeed speed recovery from injuries and is used medically for that purpose.

Roger Clemens, on the other hand, went to great lengths to deny his use of the substance. He even appeared before a Congressional sub-committee to testify and was brought up on charges of obstruction of Congress. While he was later found not guilty of those charges, his inconsistencies and his strident reactions have continued to cause him a lot of problems. One of those problems is that he, recognized as an all-time great, is still not in the Baseball Hall of Fame 13 year after his retirement from baseball. He is the only 300-win pitcher not in the Hall of Fame.

What is the difference between Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens? Andy Pettitte rather quickly acknowledged his use of HGH. People rarely remember much about the controversy with Pettitte. Clemens chose to deny his use and vilify those who accused him. He still awaits Hall of Fame recognition.

The moral of the story? When we admit to a wrong or a failure without blaming others and we take full ownership of the problem, people tend to quickly move on, forgiving, sometimes even forgetting the offense.

Recently the author Malcolm Gladwell was asked what characteristic is missing in our leaders today. Gladwell responded, “They do not own their mistakes and admit when they were wrong”.

I think Gladwell is right. People can believe and trust good leaders when they own their humanity, including admitting mistakes. The Bible teaches that when we confess our sins, God forgives, and he even chooses to forget that it even happened.

The things is, people tend to remember.

Prayer: Father, thank you for the forgiveness you so freely give, and the result of wiping away our failures, Amen.

But as for you, teach what is fitting of sound doctrine: Older men should be sober, serious, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience.                                                                   Titus 2:1

Today is May 18^th, and that means something special to me, and also my older brother, Ed. This is his birthday. Ed has been my mentor and role model since I was, well, as long as I can remember. I followed in his footsteps through high school, college, part time jobs, wiffle ball baseball- you know, I followed what he did.    

He is six years my elder, but he took time and energy to mentor and guide his little brother through the steps of a young man’s life. So, brother Ed, happy birthday! I won’t say how many, but you are always older than me, and wiser too!

Today is also the birthday of my friend of 60 years, Bob. Yes, 60 years! We met in high school, and we have remained as friends for all these years. What a blessing to have brothers, and friends who feel like brothers!

Here is the message for today. Recognize the people who poured into you, and helped you to get to where you are. If your mentor is alive today, reach out to them and tell them that you love and appreciate what they have done for you. Let them know how much you appreciate them and love them.

It will be good for both of you.

Prayer: Lord, thank you for the people in our lives who have helped to shape us, Amen

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”                                                               Jeremiah 1:5

Chlorophyll. It is a miracle that we take for granted. Without this particular chemical, life on earth does not exist. It is a molecular structure that turns light from the sun into usable energy for humans and animals. It starts a chemical process that strips electrons from water, and allows the plant in which it resides to produce, as a by-product, oxygen.

So, this marvelous molecule can turn light into energy, and produce oxygen as a byproduct. In my humble opinion, that unique process, which allows life on earth to exist, is simply another manifestation of the Creator’s hand in giving life.

Who else could plan such an incredible process? We can argue, if anyone wants to engage in such a discussion, about the creation of life, and the beginnings of life on earth. The presence of chlorophyll, a necessary molecule in the chain of life, answers for me the discussion about intelligent design. No accident here folks, this life- your life- is a miracle designed by God in eternity past (whatever that is!).

He planned for us long before we knew about him or his majesty and power.

Prayer: Lord, we remain in awe of your creation, Amen

“You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.                              Matthew 5:5 (the Message)

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.                                                  Mathew 5:5 (NIV)

I found it very interesting when I compared these two translations of Matthew 5:5 from the famous Sermon on the Mount. The word meek is translated as content with who you are, in The Message version.

I find that to be a fascinating look at the word meekness. I still consider the word meek to mean power under control. That shows self-discipline, and control of the power that we have within us. I do like, however, the translation content with who you are. This indicates a strong sense of self-awareness. People who know who they are can be content, recognizing that they do not need to be what others think or say what they are, or should be.

I often tell my clients, “wherever you go, there you are”. By this I mean, you take your full self into every situation, and you have what you need to get through. Being aware of these traits, strengths (and weaknesses) and owning them, gives us great freedom.

Prayer: Father, thank you for the wisdom of the words of Jesus, Amen

“Nostalgia ain’t what it used to be…”

(Attributed variously to several people, including, of course, Yogi Berra)

I am a student of history. I am so very interested in the way that society has changed over the years. I study things like “what were the forces and challenges of that period of time that occurred, and how did (do) we react to those changes?”

History is not just a story of the past, it is a story about change. Sometimes, in looking back, we try to rewrite those narratives to fit a present reality. We, of course, have the benefit have of hindsight to explain societal changes, and often we look at the past through nostalgic lenses.

I am often prone to do that. I grew up in the simpler time of the 1950’s and 1960’s. At least they appeared that way to me. However, those years were not always simpler times for many people around the world. History is often viewed from a very narrow window. We look back and we may only see life from our perspective.

For example, one of the facets of the study of history from an American perspective was the intense interest in courses called “Western Civilization”. I was fascinated by the stories of European culture, from the time of the Roman Empire through the Middle Ages, the Renaissance, the Enlightenment, the Age of Exploration, and finally the rich history of the Unted States.

However, I learned very little, in my early schooling, about the history of Asia, Africa, and the Middle East. Yes, such history books were there, but there was great emphasis on Western Culture. And, fair enough, that is a large part of American heritage. I loved it, and I still do.

However, I often wonder if world history might have been different had we studied more about Eastern cultures. Indeed, in the minds of many Americans in the 18^th 19^th, and early 20^th centuries, Chinese, Japanese, Philippine, Korean, and other Asian and Pacific region cultures were felt to be odd and inscrutable. Presidents like Theodore Roosevelt (and others) believed those cultures to be backward, primitive, and even dangerous. Such provincial thinking may have led to serious misunderstandings which ultimately involved us in the Second World War.

History is complicated, and this essay does not do justice to a very complex topic. Suffice it to say, when we think about history, we need to take a look first at the lenses through which we view it.  

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;                                                                                                            I Corinthians 6:19

For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.                                                                                                                  II Corinthians 5:1

What is the best way to honor God as a Christian community? Is it better to build a temple or a tent?

Interesting that when God was trying to manifest himself to the ancient world, he told the Israelites to build a temple. That temple would be a manifestation of the presence of God on earth. The Israelites of old were the carriers of the “God message” to a heathen world. That is, there is one God, and he is to be worshipped above the many false gods that were around. The Israelites were to be witnesses of the True God to world lost in idolatry.  However, when Jesus came to earth, he was the fulfillment of that promise- God was now literally present on earth.

It seems that we are drawn to building temples. When Jesus was manifested in glory at the Transfiguration, Peter wanted to immediately build three memorials on the mountain- one to Jesus, one to Moses, and one to Elijah. Peter was overcome with awe and his first reaction was to build a memorial.

Nice thought, but Jesus wanted a more flexible witness. He planned to send his Holy Spirit into the world to invade the hearts of people. The memorial would not be bricks and mortar, but our bodies to serve as the temples of the Holy Spirit.

Paul called our bodies mere tents which house our Spirit. I am thinking that the best response to proclaiming God to a fallen world is pitching our tents where people are- not building temples that people must try to find.

Prayer: Lord, help us to be flexible witnesses, tents where you can dwell and be seen by others, Amen

Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.                                          Proverbs 11:14 (The Message)

May is Mental Health Month. I have been in this field since the early 1970’s, and I have seen so many changes in the field since then! For example, when I began in the mental health field, we were using the DSM II as the diagnostic and statistical manual for diagnosing and treating mental health disorders. We are now using the DSM 5 as well as the ICD -10 to make such diagnoses. There have been lots of changes over the years in how we determine diagnosis, and what we consider to be good mental health practices.

In those days, treatment was driven by psychiatry, and the fields of Social Work and Counseling as accepted treatment disciplines were in their infancy. That being said, I was mentored by some excellent psychiatrists, who were wise in the ways of classical diagnosis. I am still humbled by their acumen and grace, and grateful for their part in my growth.

In those days, seeking mental health treatment was socially stigmatized, and the percentage of the population who voluntarily sought treatment was very small. The movement of community mental health was just beginning, and I was really fortunate to get in on the ground floor of such a movement.  

Now, many people seek mental health treatment without stigma (thankfully), and it is mainstream in our culture. It is not (and never should have been) shameful to admit the need for mental health help. In fact, those recognizing the need for counseling or medical help for anxiety, depression and other mental health disorders are the strongest people emotionally, because such self-awareness is the beginning of recovery.

So, my friends, if you have sought mental health counseling, I applaud your decision. If you are considering such help, be aware that such a decision can be the start of a more fulfilling and better life.   

Prayer: Lord, we know that we need one another. Help us to reach out humbly and confidently, Amen